#wtfevolution
Psst. I have no idea why, but the WTF, Evolution?!book is less than $3.50 new on Amazon right now. The eBook is also on sale for $1.99 all this month. Tell a friend!
Up to $5 now. I think the price-setting robots are onto us. Quick, before capitalism catches up!
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Psst. I have no idea why, but the WTF, Evolution?!book is less than $3.50 new on Amazon right now. The eBook is also on sale for $1.99 all this month. Tell a friend!
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Some people bake for the holidays. Evolution makes hundreds of perfectly round, pointy-eared, ridiculous-nosed bats. Bring some to your family gathering this year!
Source:David Dennis / Flickr / licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
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Need a holiday gift for your nerdy best friend, precocious teenage offspring, or fundamentalist aunt?* Consider the WTF, Evolution?! book. Charles Darwin would have liked it, probably.
Here’s what some living people are saying:
“Mara Grunbaum’s book highlights the amazing, truly strange side of evolution. Nature’s a funny thing.” —The Verge
“In addition to being entertaining, the combined photos and commentary are extremely educational. They are also a constant reminder of what evolution is and how it really works.” —Huffington Post
"Although many of the species profiled here have downright disgusting quirks (such as baby toads that crawl through their mother’s skin), readers can’t help but be awed by them.” —Scientific American
Available at:
Amazon
Powell’s Books
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
and bookstores near you.*WTF, Evolution? cannot be held responsible for the reaction of your fundamentalist aunt.
Look, the book came out a while ago, which means no one will even be expecting it this year. Now’s your chance to surprise them!
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Chin up, sea toad. Evolution may have given you a grumpy face, a potato-sack body, and what looks like a permanent case of chin rash, but at least you got legs, right? How many fish get legs? Legs are probably good for something underwater, right? They probably are. I mean, they certainly don’t look useless dangling from your weird little abdomen like that while you swim. Not useless at all. You really are a lucky fish.
Video courtesy of NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program
“Oh, that’s a cute one, evolution! What is that?”
“It’s a hyrax! It pees in holes.”
“Huh.”
“Guess what it’s most closely related to.”
“I don’t know, what?”
“No, guess.”
“I mean… rodents, right? It’s a rodent?”
“Nope. Teeth are different.”
“Oh. Um, is it some kind of tiny fat dog?“
“What? No.”
“Oh! Is it like that weird miniature deer you did?”
“Ha, no. That was a good one, though.”
“Okay, fine. I give up. What is the hyrax most closely related to?”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Nothing in between?”
“Not really, no.”
“I just… how? Why?”
“Dunno. I like messing with you, mostly.”
Image Source: Bjørn Christian Tørrissen / Wikimedia Commons / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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“Hey, look! If I have this Taonius squid float around with its arms above its head, it kind of looks like a funny bird.”
“More like an uncannily murderous bird, evolution.”
“Potayto, potahto.”
“That’s a cute little bug, evolution!”
“Yes, thank you! It’s a beaded lacewing. I’m just finishing up the larval form’s feeding mechanism now.”
“Oh yeah? What do the larvae eat?”
“Termites.”
“Hm. Those can be hard to catch, can’t they? Don’t you want to give the lacewing some stronger legs or giant trap-jaws or something?”
“Nah, it’s fine. It’s going to paralyze the termites first.”
“Paralyze them? How will it do that?”
“With toxic gas.”
“Come on, where does it get toxic gas?”
“From its anus.”
“… I’m sorry, what?”
“It can release toxic gas from its anus.”
“Okay, but…”
“It sneaks up and farts on the termites’ heads until they pass out, and then it eats them. I don’t know what you’re not getting about this.”
“I just… I don’t… um…”
“It’s doing the termites a favor, really. That way they don’t have to feel it when the lacewing punctures their abdomen with its mouthparts and starts digesting them from the inside. Anyway, break for lunch?”
“No thanks, I think I’m good.”
Source: Flickr / cotinis / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Read more: Silent and Deadly: Fatal Farts Immobilize Prey by Gwen Pearson at WIRED
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“Any exciting weekend plans, evolution?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ll probably just stay in and put weird things on birds again.”
“Really? Don’t you do that likeallthetime?”
“Yeah, so? It’s not like this comb duck is going to festoon itself.”
Source:Flickr / Ian White / licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0
Psst! Seattle! Reading tonight!
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“Evolution, what are those flatworms doing?”
“Oh, they’re getting ready to penis-fence.”
“Penis… fence?”
“Yeah. They’re hermaphrodites, so either of them can inseminate the other one to reproduce, but neither one actually wants to be inseminated.”
“They… don’t?”
“Well, no. It’s much easier to be the inseminator. I kind of set it up so that actually bearing the offspring totally sucks. Haha, whoops!”
“So… they’re going to…”
“Try to stab each other with their two-pronged penises while simultaneously avoiding getting stabbed themselves, yes.”
“Jesus.”
“The good news is that there’s no real reproductive opening, so they can just pierce the skin wherever and get the sperm in.”
“That’s the good news?”
“Well, I thought so. Ooh, they’re starting! Fatherhood to the victor!”
“It is way too early in the morning for this.”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Photo courtesy of Nico Michiels / licensed under CC BY 2.5
BAY AREA! I’m reading tonight at Books Inc. Berkeley. Come say hello!
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“Ooh, that’s a nice fish, evolution.”
“Oh, thanks! I’m pleased.”
“What is it called?”
“This one’s a pearlfish.”
“Lovely. And what does it eat?”
“Little invertebrates, that kind of thing.”
“Delightful. And where does it live?”
“Inside the anus of a sea cucumber.”
"Oh, for Christ’s sake.”
“What? It’s a fine place. Safe, sheltered, just the right size for the fish to squeeze in.”
"And you were doing so well for a minute there, too.”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Alessandro Pagano / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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“All right, evolution, it’s time to make more turtles. Evolution? C'mon. You’d better get to it. You said you’d do the mata mata eons ago. Up and at ‘em. Okay? Evolution?”
“Uuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”
Flickr / wildrose / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
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“Hey, everyone likes spiders, right?”
“Well, uh…”
“Of course they do. Spiders are cute, and they keep the insect population under control.”
“They sure do, evolution.”
“Anyway, I was thinking of making something similar, but for the ocean. Like a… sea spider.”
“A sea spider.”
“Mmm hmm. Only it’ll barely need a body, because I’m going to stuff most of its organs and its digestive tract down its legs. And instead of eating insects, it’ll stick its long proboscis into sea anemones and suck their insides out. What do you think?”
“Well…”
“I think everybody’s going to love it.”
“Yes, evolution, I’m sure.”
Source:NOAA Ocean Today / Creatures of the Deep: Sea Spider (click for video)
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Pffffffft. Evolution was putting mohawks on the manakins way before it was cool.
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Rick elis.simpson / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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Evolution got a little too toasted on holiday beverages before it made the gharial. Cheers, everyone.
Source:Flickr / ZeePack / licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 / cropped to remove border
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Need a holiday gift for your nerdy best friend, precocious teenage offspring, or fundamentalist aunt?* Consider the WTF, Evolution?! book. Charles Darwin would have liked it, probably.
Here’s what some living people are saying:
“Mara Grunbaum’s book highlights the amazing, truly strange side of evolution. Nature’s a funny thing.” —The Verge
"In addition to being entertaining, the combined photos and commentary are extremely educational. They are also a constant reminder of what evolution is and how it really works.” —Huffington Post
"Although many of the species profiled here have downright disgusting quirks (such as baby toads that crawl through their mother’s skin), readers can’t help but be awed by them.” —Scientific American
Pssst! If you’re in the U.S., then from now until Sunday you can get 25% off the WTF, Evolution?! book on Amazon. That makes it just $7.13, which is about the same as a fancy sandwich. (Note: Book is not edible.) Use the promo code BOOKDEAL25 at checkout.
You could also use that code to get 25% off any other book. I won’t be mad. Everyone should buy books even if I didn’t write them. Another great place to buy them is at independent bookstores, where WTF, Evolution?! made the national indie bestsellers list this week. Thanks, independent bookstores, you’re the best.
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“Okay, okay, I’ve got one. ‘Sloths.’”
“Sloths?”
“Sloths! They’ll live in trees and climb around and eat leaves.”
“That sounds pretty cute, evolution. But leaves aren’t all that nutritious, are they? How are they going to get enough energy to climb around?”
“Oh, I thought of that! They’ll supplement their diets with algae that they grow in their own fur. I even put special channels in their hairs to collect rainwater and keep the algae moist.”
“Huh, okay… but then what are the algae going to feed on?”
“Thought of that too. They’ll be fertilized by all the moths that also live in the sloth’s fur.”
“Wait, what? Seriously? Moths? And how are the moths going to reproduce? Their larvae need to eat something too, you know.”
“Yup, thought of that. Once a week, when the sloth needs to poop, it’ll climb down from the tree and poop on the ground. Then the moths can lay their eggs in the dung, and the larvae will eat that.”
“Okay, this is ridiculous. I mean, doesn’t climbing down to poop defeat the whole purpose of living in a tree? Won’t that make it stupidly easy for a jaguar or something to come along and eat them?”
“Well, yeah, that does happen. Kind of a lot, actually.”
“And?”
“Look, no system’s perfect.”
Source:Flickr / Scott Aaron / licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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“So I’m working on a new concept. It’s called ‘parental care.’”
“What does that mean, evolution?”
“It means that instead of just laying her eggs and then leaving them to fend for themselves, like most amphibians do, this caecilian is going to stick around and feed them after they hatch.”
“Oh, that’s nice! What’s she going to do, bring them termites and stuff?”
“What? No. I didn’t even give her arms.”
“Okay, but maybe she could—”
“No, no. What she’s going to do is grow an extra layer of skin that’s super-fatty and nutritious, and then she’s going to sit there while her young tear the skin off her with their tiny, shredding teeth.”
“I… I’m sorry? They’re going to eat their mother’sskin?”
“I prefer the term ‘graze on.’”
“That’s horrifying.”
“Like that’s ever stopped me before.”
Source: Wilkinson et al., 2013 / licensed under CC BY 2.5
Meet another species of caecilian in the WTF, Evolution?! book!
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Need a holiday gift for your nerdy best friend, precocious teenage offspring, or fundamentalist aunt?* Consider the WTF, Evolution?! book. Charles Darwin would have liked it, probably.
Here’s what some living people are saying:
“Mara Grunbaum’s book highlights the amazing, truly strange side of evolution. Nature’s a funny thing.” —The Verge
"In addition to being entertaining, the combined photos and commentary are extremely educational. They are also a constant reminder of what evolution is and how it really works.” —Huffington Post
"Although many of the species profiled here have downright disgusting quirks (such as baby toads that crawl through their mother’s skin), readers can’t help but be awed by them.” —Scientific American
Available at:
Amazon
Powell’s Books
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
and bookstores near you.
*WTF, Evolution? cannot be held responsible for the reaction of your fundamentalist aunt.
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Sure, evolution could have given the velvet worm fearsome claws or deadly venom to catch prey. Instead it gave it multidirectional face-mounted slime cannons. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.
Source:Nat Geo WILD
“Hey, evolution! What are you—oh. Whoa. What’s, um—what’s the deal with this helmeted friarbird? It looks kind of… well… I guess it looks kind of grim.”
“Hmm.”
“I mean, I’m sure you know what you’re doing and everything, but…”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“But don’t you think it’s a little ominous? Maybe you could add a bit more color.”
“Hmm.”
“Or some fancy tail feathers!”
“Mmm.”
“Just something to liven it up a bit, you know?”
“Hmm.”
“Somehow it doesn’t seem like you’re into that idea.”
“Death is coming.”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Aviceda / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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Evolution may have gotten a little too into the detailing on the Port Jackson shark. It’s a fish, not a Baroque cathedral, okay?
Source:Flickr / John Turnbull / licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
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“What if these barnacle geese could build their nests on cliffs? Then nobody would bother their chicks.”
“Decent idea, evolution. But what are they going to eat up there?”
“Well, the food is on the ground. Marsh grass and stuff. I mean, they’re geese.”
“Okay, but how are the goslings going to get down to find food before they learn how to fly? They’re like 400 feet up.”
“Oh, I’ll figure somethingout.”
Look, evolution, just because the crucifix frog lives underground doesn’t mean you can quit trying. At least give the poor thing a shape.
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Tnarg 12345 / licensed under CC-BY-SA-3.0
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“I think I’m kind of over heads.”
“You’re ‘over’ heads?”
“Yeah. Just sort of bored with them.”
“Evolution, you can’t be bored with heads.”
“Why not?”
“They’re one of the best things you’ve got going for you. Complex animals needheads.”
“Are you sure, though? Like, what if I just skip it on this pheasant?”
“You can’t just skip it. It’s the head.”
“But what if—”
“It needs a head.”
“Oh, you’re no fun.”
“Please just give it a head.”
“Ugh, fine, but I’m making it tiny and weird-looking.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Source:Flickr / richard2formosa / licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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Important news, internet:
Book release day is here!
In addition to the fine online retailers linked below, you can now find WTF, Evolution?! A Theory of Unintelligible Design at a brick-and-mortar bookselling establishment near you.
I’m not much of a salesperson, but here are seven reasons I can think of that you should probably get a copy:
1. More than half of the material in the book is entirely new. It’s never been on this site before.
2. It goes further than the blog. In addition to the photos and captions you’ve come to expect, the introductory pages, sidebars, family trees and an exclusive interview provide deeper insight into evolution and the weird-ass ways it works.
3. It’s “funny,” “educational,” and “actually not as annoying as you might think,” according to the very first Amazon review.
4. Thephotos are amazing. Working with a publisher gave me the opportunity to license some of the best nature photography in the world. More than 100 species appear here in their full-blown, fearsome, strange-nosed and slimyglory.
5. My grandmother, who was skeptical about the veiled profanity in the title, is reportedly “delighted" by the contents.
6. It’s scientifically accurate.* Isourced every fact in the book to scientific literature or reference texts, and experts in the appropriate fields read over everything to confirm it. There are a million unverifiable weird-animal "facts” out there; these ones check out.
7. The phrase “voluminous rectum" is in it somewhere. I won’t tell you where.
Order online:
Amazon
Powell’s Books
Barnes and Noble
IndieBound
Orhead to your local bookstore. And, as always, thanks to you, internet audience, for making this all possible in the first place. You are the best and weirdest.
– Mara
___
*Except for the part where evolution can talk.
Photo:James Waters
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“I think I’m making progress on this whole ‘flight’ thing.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah! It seems like if I sort of splay the bones out over here, and then I stretch the skin over, I can make a membrane that the Sharovipteryx can use to glide from tree to tree.”
“Hmm. That sounds like the right general idea, evolution, but…”
“I mean, I’ll probably refine some details over time, like maybe I’ll let them flap up and down a bit or add some feathers to catch more air. But I think this might be the big break.”
“I don’t know, evolution. I’m not really sure you’ve got it yet.”
“Just imagine! If this works out, then in a few hundred million years, there’ll be leg-flappers all over the place.”
“Imagine that…”
“'Spread your legs and fly,’ they’ll say.”
“Maybe just sleep on it, okay?”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Nobu Tamura / licensed under CC BY 3.0
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Wait, what is that giant red leech doing? Is it about to—oh, no. No, no, no. No, evolution. Not cool. Just because two things are both tube-shaped doesn’t mean you can just… oh, god. No. No.
“So I made some carnivorous mammals.”
“Uh huh.”
“And I made some carnivorous birds.”
“You did indeed.”
“And I made some carnivorous fishes, and carnivorous reptiles, and even carnivorous bog plants.”
“I know, evolution. Those were nice.”
“Well, I’ve got a new one.”
“Great.”
“Carnivorous… potatoes!”
“I’m sorry?”
“Carnivorous potatoes! They’ll have, like, tiny, sticky hairs to trap the little mites that crawl by underground. Then the mites die, and the potato can absorb their nutrients.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course I’m serious."
"Death by potato?"
"That’s the idea."
"I’m… not really sure what to say to that.”
“Sometimes inspiration just strikes me, you know?”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / Bmerva / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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Just three more weeks until the book comes out! I can’t wait. In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek at some of the fun stuff inside.
Preorder:Amazon,Powell’s Books,Barnes and Noble,IndieBound
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“I just had the best idea.”
“Oh, great.”
“You know how most animals poop out blobs or tubes or little pellets?”
“Um…”
“I’m going to make this wombat poop different.”
“Poop… different…?”
“I’m going to make it poop cubes!”
“Seriously?”
“That way the poops won’t roll away when the wombat uses them to mark its territory.”
“I think you’ve finally lost it.”
“It’s called ‘innovation,’ my friend.”
Source: Flickr / steven-young / licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
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“Hey, this is basically fish-shaped, right?”
“Um… I guess so? What’s with the horns?”
“I’m going for kind of a surrealist thing.”
“Hm. I don’t know, evolution. It looks weird.”
“That’s sort of the point.”
“I don’t think anyone’s going to get it.”
“Look, if people don’t ‘get’ the longhorn cowfish, so be it. All truly great art is misunderstood, right?”
“Just keep telling yourself that.”
Source:Wikimedia Commons / H. Zell / licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0
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