#you know the ones
There is such a strange, nuanced distinction between a trope being okay at the micro-level and problematic at the macro level, and I don’t think we appreciate it enough.
Like, let’s take one trope for example: the old 80′s “career woman is unfulfilled and unhappy until she Finds Love and quits her job for a man.”
I think a lot has been said about this being a sexist trope. But I would argue that on its own, it’s actually… fine? It could even be an important story to someone, depending on execution. Because, well–work isn’t fulfilling for most people! Lots of workers, even in very high earning jobs, get burned out and are sort of encouraged to stay in this unhealthy rat race where all that matters is make line go up.
Of course a relationship can be more fulfilling than a job! Damn!
But.But.
While an individual story about a woman going “work sucks, fuck this, I actually just want to have a torrid romance and leave to have wild sex with a muscley lumberjack in the hills” doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist…. that kind of story being the overwhelming majority is.
One snowflake is harmless. A snowstorm is not.
One story about a woman being better off not working is harmless. Every single story being about it, in a culture that pressures women into having less independence and power, is not.
So then what do you do? Do you tell everyone who wants to write their cheesy lumberjack romcom to stop? Will that even work?
what you do is encourage other stories too. have your lumberjack decide actually fuck cold mornings and trees he wants to go be a house husband in cozy small town vermont. have your high powered exec leave to go BE a lumberjack. have your highpowered exec be a dude, or a lesbian. The problem isnt ”too much this thing” its ”not enough anything else.”
