So cuz I’m a huge kinkster and this seems too convenient…
So are like all the boys into Roleplay and this vid is their like preferred scenarios, cuz some stuff they’ve said in the past kinda contributes to these:
Joel: Obviously him, Zabdi and Erick are the biggest hopeless romantics, and he’s doing this Sleeping In Seattle rom-com ass scenario, seems fitting. Also he seems the most drained usually by lots of travel, so this is probably something he thinks of doing before tour or something
Erick: Another romantic. Bright clothes, bright lights, bright location, and bright daylight for our energetic and bright man
Chris: Mofo loves his tats, and from his old Spotify playlist and interviews he loves grunge, 80’s rock, punk and overall more old rock music. And if you ain’t telling me his girl don’t look like a grunge version of Rosie the Riveter or like a bad-ass pin-up girl, idk where your head’s at. The man has retro tastes
Zabdiel: Man says he’s a bottom. Detective chick went in first, and our boy’s restrained. Need I say more?
Richard: Seedy ass diner, girl’s in cute light pink and a ariana-esque half pony and a cute spinny skirt. Richard’s gotta a daddy and impreg kink and I wouldn’t be surprised if the concept of, “corrupting the good girl” tied into that is well, cuz look at her, she’s adorable!!!
Obviously this is just heavy speculation just thought it would be fun to share and discuss. Enjoy the song and stream that shit!
A/N: Angst and some serious conversations about anxiety and shame that might be triggering. Also, substance use. Also, a hint of sexual content.
_____________________
“Tú y yo somos uno.”
_____________________
Zabdiel’s hands soothed over Nina’s bare legs as he took a drag of the joint. She wiggled uncomfortably and he immediately retracted his fingers. They had finished off the fries and were now curled up in bed, sharing the joint.
:readmore:
“Sorry nena, I just like touching you.”
She smiled gently. “I love it when you touch me. It’s just…my legs are a little hairy,” she mumbled.
Zab’s brow furrowed slightly. He had never cared about whether she had shaved or not. It was something that he simply didn’t give a shit about and to the best of his knowledge he had told her so. He frowned, wondering if he hadn’t done a good enough job making her feel beautiful.
Then he smirked and pulled one of his own legs out from under hers and brought it down onto both of hers. “Me too,” he replied, wiggling his toes. She burst into giggles, pushing one of her tiny hands against his shoulder.
“You’re so ridiculous.”
“And you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Piernas espinosas y todo.”
Her giggles died and her face colored. His own smile faded as he watched her eyes glaze over.
“Nena…”
“I’m fine,” she said, reaching out to grab his hand. He wrapped his fingers around hers, cradling the delicate digits against his chest. “You just overwhelm me sometimes y’know. No one…no one’s ever looked at me the way you do. I guess I just don’t-I don’t understand why…” she trailed off, sniffling, her eyes casting down as she took the joint from him and brought it to her lips for another hit, blinking rapidly.
His frown deepened. “Why I want you?” She nodded softly. “Después de tanto tiempo, es una locura que no comprendas lo increíble que ere’. Yo sé que no cleciste con mucho cariño o seguridad,” he continued, watching her reaction carefully. Her eyes filled with tears at his words and his chest constricted at the sight. “Me hierve la sangre. I…I just wanna spend the rest of my life making you feel as special as you are.”
Her mouth popped open at the implications of his words.
“You’re my world, nena,” he said his own eyes lowering. She pushed his leg off her body and climbed into his lap, every inch of her body pressing against his as she straddled him. She set down the joint in the ash tray on the nightstand.
“Well, you’re my home, amor. And I…I wanna spend the rest of my life right here in your arms.” His eyes snapped up to meet hers.
“Antes pensaba que no cleía en el complomiso, pero…y yo sé que somos jovenes pero…un día te voy a ploponerte,” he informed her, his gaze blistering, and his accent thick under emotion. She took a shaky breath, a few tears slipping down her face.
“Y ese dia te voy a decir que sí.” He took a strangled breath, slightly embarrassed by the thick tears forming under his own lashes and he leaned forward, crashing his lips against hers. His arms tightened around her as she cradled his face. As he pressed their bodies together, Nina let out an involuntary husky sigh into his mouth when his clothed member brushed against her clit through the fabric of her panties. The weed was making her extra sensitive, every inch of her body hyper aware of his.
“Nena…” he mumbled against the skin of her neck. “No cuando ta’ tan ansiosa,” he said gently. His hands held on firmly to her hips, trying to still her squirming. She let out a breath, trembling under his fingers. He was right, the weed had helped but her mind was still racing. She let out a sad sigh and reached up to rub her eyes.
“Sorry, I’m just so jittery and keyed up.”
“Let me help you relax,” he replied softly. He gently peeled her off him and set her down on the bed. In the dim light of their room, she watched him make his way over to her toiletry bag, open on the table. He pulled her lotion out and then turned, crawling back into bed next to her. Gesturing for her to turn onto her belly, he gently slid his t-shirt off her body, smoothing his hand down her bare spine. Sniffling slightly, she let out a contented sigh when she felt his other hand start spreading the lotion onto her soft skin. His hands alternated between kneading the muscles of her back and lightly scratching and she found herself calming quickly under his touch. She could feel him pausing occasionally to lean down and press a kiss against her neck or the side of her head. Her eyes fluttered shut as she focused on the sensation of his fingers and her heart rate lowered. Before she knew it, she drifted into unconsciousness.
_____________________
When Zabdiel woke in the morning, he rolled over, stretching his tall body out. He was surprised to find Nina already awake, curled up on the armchair across the room. She had a book in her hands, but she wasn’t reading it. Instead, she was staring out the window, lost in thought, fingers fidgeting with one of her earrings.
“Nena?” he asked, sitting up.
“Sorry about last night,” she whispered. Dread filled his entire being at her quiet apology. Over the past couple of years, he had slowly become attuned to her body language and in an instant, he knew something was wrong.
“No tienes que disculparte. You’re allowed to have a bad day.”
“Yeah…I know. I just, I’m fine y’know. You don’t have to worry and like…it’s no big deal.”
“¿Pol qué te da tanto miedo expresal tus emociones negativas?”
She was quiet for a while, caught off guard by his question. She shrugged but he didn’t say anything and the silence between them grew heavy. She swallowed, realizing he was waiting for an answer and probably wouldn’t budge until he got one.
“I think I just fear judgment, I’m ashamed of weakness. I’ve…I don’t know, developed a lot of shame-based behaviors and I-I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Tus padres,” he realized. She was quiet for a while and he could tell she was putting together her thoughts, so he sat back against the pillows, waiting as she gathered herself.
“Yeah. They…I…was always shamed and scolded for being who I am. Doing things considered inappropriate for a woman in their culture. Like pursuing my dreams. Or moving to America alone. Or being openly confident in my body, setting boundaries or putting myself first, making mistakes…you name it,” she said slowly. Her fingers moved to fidget with the hem of his t-shirt draped on her body. “It made me hide things from my family y’know? I wanted their approval so badly. I don’t…I don’t know how to let people in to see my emotions, especially when they’re negative. I remember telling my mother once about my anxiety and she laughed in my face. For years after that, I didn’t tell a soul about my mental health struggles. You’re the first person in a long time actually.”
He let out a breath, struggling to keep himself from breaking down as she talked. His chest physically hurt as he watched her, legs pulled up to her chest, tucked under her knees, her entire body trembling. He wanted so badly to pull her into his arms, to comfort her but something told him that the last thing she wanted in that moment was to be touched.
“Eres insegura de ocupar espacio.”
She blinked. “What?”
“You always put other people’s needs before your own, and even now, te sientes mal polque sientes que me estabas incomodando anoche.”
Her lips parted and she took a strangled breath. “I-I don’t want to sound whiny.”
“You don’t,” he promised, voice wavering under heavy emotion as he caught her gaze. “Eso,” he continued, gesturing between them, “es una espacio seguro. Aqui, tu puedes ocupar espacio. Puedes ser defectuoso.”
She was silent for a second, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “You-you’ll never understand how much that means to me,” she whispered, voice cracking. He nodded, getting up from his spot on the bed to slide down onto his knees in front of her.
“Voy a protegerte por el resto de nuestras vidas. And you can be exactly who you are, with me. Because I love who you are.”
Her mouth slid open, but nothing came out. She slid off the bed and launched her body sloppily towards him. He caught her effortlessly, pulling her flush against him as he dropped back onto his heels. For what seemed like eternity, he held her as she cried, on the floor of the hotel room, in the middle of a foreign county. And Nina had never felt safer.
_____________________
“I’m sorry that for the last couple of days it’s felt like you’re always having to take care of me.”
It was almost a week after they had left Mexico. They had traveled south to San Jose, Costa Rica for a couple of nights and then Panama City. After a pit stop in Bogota, Colombia for one night to play a show, they were now in Rio de Janeiro and were playing their last of their three Brazil shows tomorrow. Nina had loved every second of traveling with them, getting the opportunity to see Central and South America for the first time in her life. The boys reveled in sharing Latin American culture with her, exploring the cities together and eating their weight in plantains. She could tell they had caught on to the fact that she was having a rough time with her mental health because they had all been extra attentive. But most of all, Zabdiel had been particularly observant and caring and Nina was beginning to feel a little overcome from all of his attention.
Zabdiel looked up from his computer, watching her capture her bottom lip between her teeth. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, her hair pinned up in a bun and her face free of any makeup, clutching a bottle of lotion in her hands. He let his face stretch into a warm smile, as he stood to join her at the hotel desk, staring at her through the mirror as she turned her back to him. He stopped behind her and dropped his lips to the top of her head before gently taking the lotion from her hands.
“Amol, I want to take care of you for the rest of my life. So, nunca tienes que disculparte, okay?” he said, lathering a dollop of lotion over the smooth skin of her arms. Her eyes slid shut at the contact, a small smile settling on her face. He turned her body and softly pressed a kiss against her lips. Then he sank to his knees and set to work rubbing lotion on both her legs, pressing kisses against her skin every now and then. Her fingers flew up to smooth back his blonde locks. He looked up at her, finding himself lost in her soft gaze.
“I love you. And I promise to always take care of you too,” she replied, a sudden fierceness in her voice. He smiled as he stood up, capturing her lips softly with his again.
“Let’s go to bed amol.” She nodded, taking one of his hands with hers. He smiled at how tiny her hand looked, engulfed by his fingers and he squeezed, tugging her towards the bed. She followed his lead and climbed under the covers. He brushed his lips against her forehead briefly before sliding off the bed. She watched him put his computer away and plug in his phone. Then he turned out all the lights and crawled under the covers with her. She breathed out in relief when his arms wound around her. For a few moments, the lay in silence together, listening to the sound of their rapidly synchronizing heartbeats. And in that moment, all of Nina’s doubts vanished.
