Oh, sweetheart… Are you really going to stand there in your dirty diaper and complain tha

Oh, sweetheart… Are you really going to stand there in your dirty diaper and complain that I don’t “take you seriously” anymore? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?

Yes honey, I know you didn’t ask the government to make every adult male go through a mandatory diaper-dependency program, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re just a big, pants-pooping baby now. Remember when you dropped a load in your diaper while we were out shopping yesterday, and I had to take you into the ladies’ room for a change? You can hardly blame me for not seeing you as the strong, respectable man you used to be, sweetie. You’re just a silly little boy now!

See? Now you’re crying like a toddler! You need to accept that nobody will ever take you seriously again, sweetheart. You’ll be much happier that way. The next time someone points and laughs at you while I’m changing your diaper in the park, try giggling along with them. Stop taking yourself seriously. You’re just an adult toddler. Now lie down, baby boy, and legs up. I suppose it’s about time I changed you out of that stinky diaper, huh?