Picture if you will a mother of a family of four, whose children are sick and whose husband is out o

Picture if you will a mother of a family of four, whose children are sick and whose husband is out of work. This mother is the moral fiber of the family, and she represents the Democrats in our story today.

This mother is softer, loving, forgiving, and nurturing. While her Husband, who represents the GOP, is crass, foul-mouthed, and unpredictable with an occasional outburst of his violent temper.

Now the children - representing us - are very sick. They’ve been out of school all year with a virus and they’re getting quite restless. Doctor Fauci, the family physician, tells the family not to worry, the meds for the virus are on the way and soon, everything will be all right.

However, instead of the mother cooking a meal for her sick children and out of work husband, she decides to go out and murder someone in the next town because - as she tells the children returning home dripping in blood - “we need to protect the family and your father would have done the same thing. So if you want to blame someone for having no dinner and your mother being a murderer - your father is sitting right there.”

The father just rolls his eyes in response. You see, before the mother went out to murder someone, she cut out her husband’s tongue.

And that right there is how fucked things are right about now.