If you don’t recognize the bird above, what the fuck? Where are you from? Have you heard o

If you don’t recognize the bird above, what the fuck? Where are you from? Have you heard of The Beatles? Do you know what baseball is? Why are you allowed to have an internet connection? But anyway, bald eagles are big fucking sea eagles that live in the United States and Canada and vacation in Mexico. Ben Franklin didn’t want bald eagles to be America’s #1 Bird because he thought they were, swear to god, “of bad moral character." Big talk from a dude whose main contribution to the Revolutionary War was banging French teenagers. I have the opposite problem with bald eagles, though. That GAZE, man. PIERCING. If a human looked at me with that hateful disapproval I’d go right home, try to do a pull up, and then curl up on the ground in the fetal position and somberly think of all the ways I’ve disappointed my parents.