#2017 camren
When: 31 May 2017
What: Camila gives advice on secretly being in love with your friend, trying to make long distance relationships work, what to do when your girlfriend is afraid of coming out, and more.
Camila goes live from London on Dan Wootton’s Facebook on 31 May 2017 to answer dilemmas and problems submitted by fans. She provides really in-depth answers.
Some highlights
2:14 How do you re-fall in love with singing and songwriting and music again after being in a dark place?
3:51 How do you learn to let go of someone who is not necessarily good for you anymore?
10:32 We, as the fandom, need to know what the whispers in “I Have Questions” officially are, and when will we get the next single?
12:44 My girlfriend wants our relationship a secret because she’s afraid of coming out. Can you give me insights or advice on what to do?
13:55 I’m secretly in love with a friend and I’m too scared to do anything about it.
15:26 I am in love with someone but we are long distance. How can we make our relationship not die?
Loose transcripts
How do you re-fall in love with singing and songwriting and music again after being in a dark place?
For a while I was in such a dark place that I feel like I didn’t know how to confront my emotions and that’s kind of why I stopped songwriting. After stopping for like 6 months, honestly it was hard to pick it back up and write again. My thing is it’s always easy for me to do melodies. I can always do melodies but I feel like lyrics can only flow out of me if I’m actually going through something at the time because then I don’t run out of ideas, because I’m kind of just talking. I’m just feeling. It was definitely hard to pick it back up until “I Have Questions” happened, which felt like the first time that I really started to open up again about what I was going through. So basically from that song on, music just became my saviour. It was really helping me reconnect with myself again and it was really helping me talk about what I was going through instead of keeping it in. And that’s what got me through it. Music is the most therapeutic thing, in my opinion. Or any form of art or self-expression can make you re-fall in love with your passion, with life, with everything.
How do you learn to let go of someone who is not necessarily good for you anymore?
I think it depends on what kind of relationship it is. I’ve been in a situation where it was a romantic relationship where the person was not good for me anymore, as in, I knew that it wasn’t going to last. But it was so much fun and so amazing at the time that I was like ok, this is worth this memory, this is worth the kind of passionate “thing”, even though I know that this is not gonna last for a long time. So in that case I kind of knew what I was getting into, but sometimes you have to decide if it’s worth it or not in a romantic situation.
In a friendship situation and just people that are toxic: I definitely feel like the best thing to do is just be like “Honestly, I need to take care of myself”, because once you’re in a toxic relationship with somebody like that it can really start to scar you for a long time. And you know there are people that try to just kind of put you down or people that have this negative energy that’s just meant to drown you. Those are the kind of people that I feel like you have to cut off as soon as possible because it starts to affect the way that you see yourself and you start to see yourself through that person’s eyes - which is really unhealthy because it can definitely take a long time to recover from that. So as hard as it is, whilst causing the least damage as possible, try to just be honest with the person and just be like “Hey, I really need to take care of myself in this situation, but I wish you the best.” And peace out. Don’t say “peace out”.
We, as the fandom, need to know what the whispers in “I Have Questions” officially are, and when will we get the next single?
The whispers in “I Have Questions” are:
“How do I fix it?”
“Can we talk?”
“Is it my fault?”
“I’m afraid of you”
“Do you miss me?”I definitely have a song that I really want you guys to hear and that I really want to come out soon. But obviously a single is a big discussion between the label and whatever other boring stuff. There’s one song in particular that I’m really excited about - my favourites kind of change - but there’s one song that’s called “I’ll Never Be The Same” that I’m really excited about, that I feel describes “The Loving”. And that was actually about, tying into the first question, a boy that was not good for me. But I got a good song out of it.
My girlfriend wants our relationship a secret because she’s afraid of coming out. Can you give me insights or advice on what to do?
I feel- I mean that’s such a personal thing. I think that she’ll be ready to do that when she’s ready to do that, and I don’t think that you can push somebody because you never know what they’re going through. You don’t know what the relationship is like with her family. You don’t know how comfortable she is with it herself, maybe it’s new to her. I think that it’s important to just make sure that she feels supported, and just be like “Hey, I love you”. And hopefully she has a good support system that makes her feel accepted and loved. But I think that everybody probably comes out at their own time. All you can do is just make her feel supported and loved, and when she’s ready, she will do it. But I’ve learned that with stuff like that, in the meantime, all you can do is just love them. So yeah, just love her.
I’m secretly in love with a friend and I’m too scared to do anything about it.
I wonder if they know… because I feel when I like somebody it’s written all over my face. Honestly, life is too short and I’ve learned to not take that stuff too seriously because sometimes you never know. This person, you might be in love with them and you think that they’re so amazing, but you don’t really know what it’s like to be in a relationship with that person. What if you’re in a relationship with that person and it turns out they’re not the right fit for you? Don’t make it too much of a big deal because you really don’t know until you know. Don’t take it too seriously, you’re going to have so many people that you fall in love with during your lifetime, so many people that you have crushes on. And life is just about trying stuff, and being like “Hey, I like you” and just putting yourself out there. And if they like you too then be like “Ok, great”. And if they don’t, you’re going to find somebody you never know when. It could be the next day, it could be the next year. Everything happens when it’s supposed to though. But never let fear keep you from jumping into something that could be beautiful. So just take the jump, just do it. Say it. Let them know.
I am in love with someone but we are long distance. How can we make our relationship not die?
I know that long distance is probably hard, but I feel like there’s something romantic about it because you’re not seeing each other for a lot of the time. But when you do see each other, there’s so much anticipation built up and so much fantasising and so much stuff in your head, that when you do see them you guys are probably so excited to see each other and it makes your time that much more valuable. I feel like when you’re away from something and then you get just a little taste of it, it just makes you savour that so much more. In the meantime, just be very romantic, and remember that the biggest sexual organ is the brain. Oh my god, was that bad? Just saying sweet stuff to somebody and just cultivating that emotional side of it is really the most important thing. And you can still do that long distance even if it’s hard. And if it’s not meant to be, then it won’t be meant to be.
