#2021 bonus treat
To: @witchervesemir
From: @kiichu
Hey, here’s the extra gift I promised! This was so much fun to write, and I hope I created a believable cast/universe. There’s some fun things on the Ao3 page, so I encourage you to please read it there!
“Oh my gosh, is that you… Jumpy!?”
“K-Kanny!?”
“CUT!”
A loud screech and the slap of a clapperboard startled the young man and woman out of their acting illusion, two sets of eyes flying towards the director.
“What’s up?” Junpei Tenmyouji asked, crossing his arms. The rest of the actors on set had relaxed their stances, chitchatting amongst themselves for the time being.
“That was good, but I didn’t really feel the emotion,” explained the director, Kotaro Uchikoshi. “Junpei, you haven’t seen this girl in years - she’s your childhood best friend.”
“And probably his first love.” The actress of the girl in question, Akane Kurashiki, piped in, elbowing her co-star. “You didn’t really seem that surprised. Or rather, not I-can’t-believe-you’re-here-on-this-murder-ship-too surprised.”
Uchikoshi laughed. “That’s a good way to put it.”
Junpei nodded, taking the advice to heart. He’d wanted to be an actor ever since he was a kid, and had slowly built up a resume throughout the years. Now in his late twenties, he still had enough of a babyface to pass for the college-aged male lead of the upcoming movie, Zero Escape: 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors. When he’d auditioned, the director hadn’t had a name for the character - and, to his surprise, chose to name the protagonist after Junpei himself upon seeing his performance. There really was no greater honor, and Junpei considered himself beyond lucky for this opportunity. The least he could do was listen when the man gave him acting advice.
“Akane,” Uchikoshi continued, “you were great - just need more of that ditziness, y’know?”
“Tone up the ditz? Can do!” Akane exclaimed, twirling around in emphasis.
With a huff of laughter, Junpei watched his co-star in awe. Akane Kurashiki was a well-known actress, starring in several important roles in pivotal movies the past decade. She was a beautiful young woman in her twenties, continuously growing a loyal and large fan following.
It downright made Junpei nervous, being in the presence of such talent, but Akane was a kind and patient person. He could really learn a lot from her, and recognized his privilege for this opportunity.
Akane’s younger brother, Aoi, was also in the movie, playing her character’s sibling as well. Aoi had been cast as the rowdy and sarcastic Santa not because of his actual relation to Akane, but because he was just that damn good at it. Aoi had tried to explain away his talent by saying that Santa’s protectiveness for June stems from his own for Akane, but it didn’t change the fact that the performance was believable and admirable.
Really, everyone in the room with Junpei was so damn brilliant at acting.
If this movie was going to be as great as they all hoped, it would take every one of the actors’ efforts to make it work. And really, the cast had been nothing but supportive to one another, so Junpei found the confidence to believe in the film’s success.
“Alright, everyone! Back to your places!” Uchikoshi called, and the cast scrambled to their original places. “Roll sound. Camera ready? Action!”
“Are you seriously doing a Tiktok right now, Yotsuba?” The actor playing the mysterious amnesiac ‘Seven’ - Yamamoto - chuckled as he walked into the break room, seeing his younger coworker performing a dance in the corner.
The girl jumped, her bright pink wig sliding a bit out of place. “Yamamoto!” she hissed, adjusting her headpiece. “Ugh, this thing weighs a ton.”
“I’ll bet. All that hair and the earmuffs and stuff… I don’t envy you.” Suddenly, Yamamoto felt grateful his character only wore a hat on his head, and he didn’t need a wig.
Yotsuba gave a dismissive gesture. “Not a problem, I’m gonna take it off soon anyway. And hey, to answer your question - yes, of course. Can’t help it, there’s a dance trending and I had to join in the fun!” She giggled. “Besides, it gives some promotion for the movie, so why not?”
“How do you all know what’s popular on the app, anyway?” Yamamoto asked. “Like, I have one of those Tiktoks, but I don’t really get how it works. There’s always something new going on.”
Yotsuba Field took a deep breath. “Yeah, explaining that to you would take all night. Ask Kubota or Nijisaki - they’re boomers too, but get it better than you do.”
“Hey, I resent being called a boomer.” Kubota Teruaki, the actor for the trembling character of the ‘9th Man’, cheerfully stepped into the break room. “Because I do have lots of followers. My contract lets me post little preview clips of the movie, too.”
Nijisaki, another friendly actor with an extremely minor role, strolled in behind him. “Nothing about your character dying in the first twenty minutes of the movie?” he asked.
“Of course not.” Kubota wrinkled his nose. “But you have to wonder if they’re going to edit the trailers to make it seem like I’m there at later points.”
“Probably. They did that with the actress for Sayaka Maizono in Danganronpa, you know?” Yotsuba pointed out.
“Makes sense. At least you have a speaking role, Kubota. Me and Kagechika get grunts of confusion, and then we’re corpses.” Nijisaki laughed.
A hand clapped down on his shoulder, a low raspy voice announcing the presence of another actor. “Yes, sorry about that! Oops!” Gentarou Hongou, the actor behind the spoiler murderous villain, Ace, snickered. “I kinda wish my guy would just chill out. Eat a Snickers bar, or something. He could’ve been best friends with everyone! The cool dad character! But nooo.”
“He’s not very charming once the scary faces come out. Or so I’m told,” Light added agreeably from behind him.
“Yeah, I don’t see him topping any popularity lists…” Hongou lamented.
“I don’t ‘see’ him at all.” Light’s lips curled to a smirk as he opened his sightless eyes, earning him a giant groan from everyone else in the room.
Aoi and Hazuki were just coming into the room and heard that line, and Aoi promptly threw his head back in exasperation and groaned. “Oh my God…”
“Sorry, sorry,” Light chuckled, not seeming sorry at all. “But, Hongou, it could be much worse - remember the original script that got cut? I guarantee if that leaks, there’ll be tons of creepypastas about the ‘deleted scenes of 999!’. They’ll say someone burned alive in our incinerator set during that scene or something.”
“Creepypastas?” Yamamoto echoed. “Do I want to know?”
“My kids mentioned something like that years ago, when they were teenagers,” Hazuki pointed out. “Is that the slender man?”
Yotsuba snorted, trying to cover her mouth in politeness but failing miserably. “Like with Tiktok, not explaining that.” She nudged Hongou and Light. “That does remind me, though, of my own deleted scene. The one where I go ax crazy?”
“They deleted that?!” Nijisaki gasped. “But it was such a cool scene…”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t make much sense in context, I guess. They’re not supposed to really know until the editing begins, but I was told it was going to be cut from the final movie.” Yotsuba shrugged. “Sucks, but what can you do? Uchikoshi says he’ll talk about it in the DVD interviews and stuff. That’ll definitely make it talked about online. And hey, any traction is good, right?”
“I guess so,” Aoi said. “But anyway, I think we’re all about done for the day, right? Akane and Junpei are finishing up their scene, so… how’s going for some pizza sound?”
Everyone in the room exchanged a pleasant glance. This was nothing new to them, as the entire cast was on friendly terms with each other and frequently went out after work. Usually, the only reason someone wouldn’t come with the group would be family obligations, such as Hazuki or Hongou picking up their kids or grandkids, or a scheduling conflict like Yotsuba’s model work.
However, that particular day, the entire cast was thankfully free.
“Oh, but what about the kid actors? From the incinerator? My little self?!” Akane gasped.
“Ah, they went home hours ago…” Aoi replied. “Damn labor laws!” he joked, shaking a fist in fake frustration.
Hazuki nudged him with a roll of her eyes. “Then how about we order them food the next time they’re all back on set? Yamamoto, don’t they have a scene with you in a couple days?”
“Yep! We’ll be starting the boat escape scene,” Yamamoto replied. “That’ll be a fun day. Wet, too.”
Light rolled his sightless eyes. “Side effect of having several boat sets to work on.”
“Hey guys,” Yotsuba cut in, stopping any further conversation about work, “about that pizza?”
The group rumbled in enthusiastic agreement.
Gentarou Hongou stepped out of the dressing room in his new costume for the day. It wasn’t anything fancy, really - a blue pinstripe suit and a lab coat overtop, with a fedora to match. The younger actors originally had protests to the fedora in particular, but the director argued that it would make Ace seem even more like a dick, so they went with it in the end.
Being a more seasoned actor, Hongou had embraced the wrinkles he’d gained over the years. It was exciting to evolve his talent to different roles, roles that had been all but locked to him before simply due to his age. The ‘wise old man’ was certainly fulfilling to play, but Hongou had to admit he’d been having fun hamming it up as Ace. Being the first twist villain of the movie, Ace had to be played as a deeply unstable man seemingly out of nowhere - and the evil faces Hongou got to do! Oh, they were so fun . Sometimes, Hongou couldn’t believe that he got paid for this stuff.
That day, he was set to film a flashback scene, and Ace was significantly younger (Hongou even had to shave…!), so the makeup department got to work smoothing out the lines on his face. By the end of it, he was on set with Yamamoto and a bunch of kids at the incinerator backdrop.
There was a particular scene, however, that made Hongou a bit nervous. Ace had to drag the younger version of June into the ‘incinerator’ - typical evil bastard stuff - but he had to grab the little actress’s wrist and actually pull her. They’d practiced it before, to make sure she’d be safe and he was pulling in a way that didn’t hurt her, but he still had his concerns.
Yamamoto’s costume made him look considerably younger, as well, with prominent makeup and no beanie. Hongou nodded to the other man as he walked onto set, noting June’s child actress hovering nearby.
The little girl didn’t hesitate to approach Hongou, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Wow, Mr. Hongou - you look way different!” she chirped. “Just like Mr. Yamamoto!”
“Amazing what some makeup will do, hm?” Hongou chuckled. “I don’t even think my wife would recognize me like this. Maybe she’d think I’m more handsome this way.”
The little girl giggled, the sound putting Hongou a bit more at ease. “She’s super excited to shoot today. Was yammering on and on the minute she walked outta makeup,” Yamamoto rumbled.
“I’m glad you’re not scared of me,” Hongou admitted sheepishly, kneeling down to look her in the eye. “I’m going to be making some pretty silly faces, and they might seem a bit intense in the moment.”
“Oh, I know!” the girl exclaimed. “It’s just acting - I know that, Mr. Hongou. Don’t be too worried if I seem scared, okay?” She patted him on the shoulder with a beaming smile. “I’m not, I promise! Everyone here is so nice, I’m so glad Mommy let me be a part of this! I’m having so much fun!”
Ah. Hongou smiled at her warmly; her youthful energy reminded him of his daughter when she was the same age. “Well then,” he rasped, “I say we have a scene to shoot, don’t you?”
The little actress nodded. “Let’s do this!”
“Ah, how wonderful to see you decided to come back.” Hongou said his lines with practiced ease, staring down at the little girl opposite him with the eyes of a killer. Or, at least, he tried - it was hard to get into the headspace of a faceblind character without actually being faceblind himself.
They tried to cast someone with prosopagnosia for the role, but there weren’t any auditions - and Hongou had a pretty good idea why. This situation wasn’t like Light, who was actually blind as Snake was - the disability in Ace’s case was not being portrayed in a respectful or realistic manner, so it wouldn’t exactly be the role of a lifetime for an actor with prosopagnosia.
Little Akane’s actress trembled as she turned around and faced him; Hongou had to remind himself of her earlier reassurances, and hope she remembered his. The girl shook her head, taking a step back away from him.
“Come with me,” he recited, “We must continue the experiment.”
Hongou really tried to play up the ‘deranged’ look - Ace was really off the deep end, even in the past! - and hoped he was selling it. The little girl was very talented, definitely giving the impression she was genuinely terrified. Hongou wondered absentmindedly what acting school she went to, or if her parents were in the business.
Unfortunately, he was so lost in that train of thought, he missed the cue for his next line, and fumbled out the words, “Stop snuggling, goddammit–” He stopped short, rumbling out a deep laugh, “D-did I really say snuggling?!”
His scene partner giggled in response. “Mr. Hongooooou!!”
More laughs sounded from behind a nearby prop door. The young actors for Santa and Snake’s kid portrayals were waiting to pop out and call for Akane, as well as Yamamoto.
“Oh my God, Hongou,” Yamamoto said, his voice muffled behind the door.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Hongou chuckled. “I’ll get it right this time. No snuggling allowed on my ship.”
Uchikoshi gave a chortle of his own. “It’d be a much different movie.”
“Not nearly as exciting, though,” Hongou replied with a smirk. Conflict does make a story, after all, and 999 ’s conflict was pretty damn interesting.
“Okay, okay - from the top, people!” Uchikoshi cried out, clapping a few times to get everyone back into their places. “And no snuggling this time!”
“You– Akane!? You’re Zero?!”
Akane couldn’t contain her laughter as Light, Yotsuba, Yamamoto, Hongou, Kubota, and Hazuki all read through the latest piece of their scripts. From the beginning of shooting, only Akane, Junpei, and Aoi were told about the end twist in an effort to make the surprise feel as real as possible. The last pages of the script were hidden from most of the actors until the final shooting days.
Up until that point, everyone had been under the impression that Aoi was Zero. Sure, they knew the twist about Akane and Aoi being siblings, but weren’t aware Akane was part of the operation at all. In fact, the script had actually said the contrary up until the last minute ‘change’ (or, more accurately, the last minute switch to the real script).
“Oops?” Akane shrugged lightly, giggling as her friends gaped at her. “Sorry!”
“Holy shit,” Hazuki whispered. “Holy shit, I like that twist.”
“It makes a bit more sense in hindsight,” Hongou pointed out. “Something was weird about you, Akane.”
Akane bopped Hongou on the arm. “Like you’re one to talk!”
“Fair point.” Hongou just gave a sheepish grin.
“Do you know how hard it was to keep this a secret from you guys?” Aoi asked with a grumble. “Really really hard.”
“Yeah, Aoi’s mouth is big enough that I was afraid he’d spoil,” Akane sighed, shaking her head. Her brother was a bit of a loudmouth after all - just like his character. “But seeing as his career depended on his silence, I’m glad he pulled it off.”
Aoi put his arm around Akane playfully. “Hey, I seem to remember you and Junpei whining about how we couldn’t spill the beans, either.”
“Shh, don’t tell them that!” Akane exclaimed.
“Oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter much now that we do know. And I’m glad Uchikoshi went this route.” Yamamoto chuckled, reviewing the new script. “Seems we just have that final car scene to shoot.”
Hongou groaned loudly. “Not that scene…”
“Shut up and wear your duct tape and ropes,” Hazuki laughed with a wink.
Yamamoto snorted, turning the script to the last page. “And then that’s about it for a while, huh? Until reshoots, if we need any.”
A murmur of agreement fluttered around the room, everyone simultaneously coming to the conclusion that their fun was almost over for now. It was a shame, really, that things like this couldn’t last a bit longer, but that was showbiz. They’d all been through this before - everything must naturally come to an end. Take away the costumes, director, scripts, and sets, and all you had left were a group of people.
But at the very least, they were a group of people that cared about each other and promised to stay in touch.
And in the end, that made it all worth it.
To:@aoikurasexy
From:@mortellanarts
Extra gift for @aoikurasexy because I liked all the couples in the prompts and immediately thought of them showing off their new animal babies to each other on a video call! Light comes by to say hi eventually and Clover is just there hanging out and saying “Aww! Alice, can we have one?” the whole time
To: @cheesy0nion
From:@erisofimladris
This is a treat for @cheesy0nion!
Santa was the best-known, of course.
When it came to Christmas figures, no one didn’t know Santa. Who could forget him when his face was plastered across every place on the whole planet to the point that she suspected the earth would grow a red hat and jolly beard every December?
And it had been getting worse in recent years. Hardly a November went by when she didn’t see his face everywhere, when she didn’t see her own face anywhere except in some doctor’s offices or on the backs of old, forgotten reports no one cared to read.
Unlike Santa, she didn’t have any followers. She would know if she did. She would hear their voices speak her name. She wondered, sometimes, how Santa could go through the winter months hearing his name so many times without his ears falling off. She was sometimes jealous and wished her ears would do the same, if only to avoid hearing the endless void of no one saying her name.
But Santa’s ears must have stayed on, for his legend rang out in every house in every land that she ever traveled to, and no one ever spoke of her.
It might have been that it was hard to capture her likeness in a form humans could create. How could they comprehend the precise way her nose wiggled when she got a good scent, the ratio of her eyes to her head, the way her eyes didn’t look like jolly balls of light but rather, like the emptiness of a dark sky with only a few stars too far apart to shed any light?
Someone had seen her, once. Gazed into the little dots in her eyes and tried to copy her shape. They knew no one would believe what they had seen, so they tried to recreate her in black and white, to show her image to those around them. But no one thought they were anything other than a fool. And while everyone guessed the craziest things, no one knew her.
She was no man, with a nose that ended so short and lips anyone would want to kiss under the mistletoe.
She was no butterfly, born to live such a short life that none would know or remember her. No, she was meant to endure forever, even if those who saw her only got the tiniest glimpse. Nor was she an actress, who could portray such a role if it was asked of her.
She was not a koi or a small boat floating in a lake. She was nothing other than herself.
Few knew of her. Her stories were not told the way Santa’s were, full of presents and joy. No one quite knew what she was meant to be, who made her, or why. She was just there. She was just Funyarinpa, her name as meaningless as her life.
She was prepared, as soon as Halloween ended, for the usual onslaught of Santa, to fade even further into the darkness until her beak could only pick up the slightest of smells of cinnamon-crusted Christmas dreams. She was prepared to live in obscurity, to get her only Christmas joy from the dreams she ate when food in the Field ran scarce.
But then, someone spoke her name.
It was the first of November. She was not doing anything at all. And someone spoke her name.
She could not recall the journey, for in her mind there was no time between the instant when she heard the word and when she appeared in the room, hovering by a golden door with an ornate pattern deep inside a warehouse in the middle of a desert.
Did she finally have a cult of her own? Santa didn’t have any cults that she knew of, but some of the other creatures had cults, and they would speak of it sometimes. Few beings dwelled in the Field to compare with, but she had seen enough of human culture that she knew some humans would pick a secluded place to worship something they could believe but not see.
There was silence after, as if speaking her name was enough to conjure her in her true form. She was unsure how to enter. Should she be bold, awe the humans until they fell to their knees in worship? Or simply watch and wait, siphon their brains for what they wanted and give it to them so they would love her?
“What the hell is a funyarinpa?”
Her ears rang again, this time from a woman in a dancing outfit, out of place among the others. Her nose twitched with displeasure and her ears burned with shame.
“What do you mean ‘what the hell is a funyarinpa?’ You mean…you don’t know?!” The same man who spoke her name the first time was pointing to a portrait. The one that had been drawn of her once by the person whose journey took them a little too close to madness, who saw her true form. Nose and all. Hanging in a frame like it was worthy.
“How the hell would I know?!” the woman yelled again. She wondered if the man was going to stand his ground, if she was going to defend him. In all the years, all the centuries beyond human comprehension, she never had a defender.
“How could you not know?!” he yelled back, then paused. “That’s… that’s practically blasphemous.”
He knew! He knew she was real! She twirled in the air as he knew she was real and there - but what was he going to do about it?
“Say you’re sorry! Apologize to the funyarinpa! Goodness, you are such a rude woman.”
If she had a heart, it might have stopped then from pure shock. She was not someone worthy of an apology to most. She was not someone at all, to most. But she was someone to this man who could not coordinate his clothing to match and smelled of sweat and fear and a strange dream of reuniting with a childhood friend as her nose snuffled in his hair.
The woman thought he was “screwing around.” She started to tell another story as if the portrait showed a dog and not her magnificent form. But the man knew. He looked back. He spoke her name. He was hers.
And yet, the place was not one of worship. It was a prison, and he escaped it with the others, his dreams lost and confused in the following nights and weeks. But then a letter came, a strange, unexpected letter that made him rush off in such a hurry that she followed him at the same pace, not caring that the world was lit with ornaments and Santa’s face loomed around every corner.
She followed her follower to an apartment with a view of city lights sparkling in the window. She slid through the wall and found herself in a chilly room next to a plate of cookies, where a hastily-wrapped box in the corner let out a small noise no one paid attention to.
“Open this one first, Junpei,” said a young woman with brown hair who had not been there when she first saw the portrait of herself on the false cabin wall. Strong in the Field, so strong that she was surprised the woman’s eyes darted past her instead of looking right at her.
Junpei - oh, how sweet his name sounded as she traced the shape of its letters with her nose - reached out to the colorful package. It was wrapped in bright green paper with a red bow, the job somewhat sloppy but it did not matter for long, as he quickly tore through the colorful paper.
She was certain he would hear the snort that came out unwittingly when she beheld the sweater.
It was meant for humans, sized for Junpei in particular. It was knitted, woolen and warm like so many Christmas presents. And yet, this one was different. This one was perfect. Black on the sleeves, with white patches leading to her own image, her portrait, and he let out a high-pitched sound that she never knew a grown human could make.
“It’s the funyarinpa!”
Her ears buzzed with the sound, sending a vibration through her body. She soared through the air, emerging partially into the floor of the apartment above before drifting back down. She would have tried to smell Junpei’s dream on the way, but it was clear that his dream in the moment had just come true.
“You’ve been playing the stock market for over a decade, and this is what you spend your money on?” said the white-haired young man from the warehouse, now wearing clothes to look like Santa. But if they believed in him, she wondered, why would they also be honoring her presence?
It didn’t matter. There had been nonbelievers last time too, and Junpei was undeterred. He lifted off the sweater he wore, bedecked with Christmas bells, and pulled the woolen image of her over his head. Rolled his shoulders, widened his face into a grin. The woman at his side laughed, and soon the white-haired man was laughing too.
There was no fire roaring on a log in a fireplace, no mistletoe hung from the ceiling. The tree was minimal at best, the group of people small. But they were honoring her. The one who had seen her had brought her joy to his compatriots.
And then the box in the corner let out another sound as an elderly dog paced around the corner, followed and pounced on by a puppy that looked like her portrait. Black and white, spots in the right places. The white-haired man was rolling his eyes so far she thought they might fall out of his head entirely, but the puppy and the sweater matched and the little dog curled up in Junpei’s arms just like it belonged there.
She was not a dog. But she knew that humans could never comprehend her fully, and in all the years she had been waiting for someone to enter the Field and see her, no one had ever tried. Finally, finally, someone tried.
No one knew she was there as she hovered near the cookies, watching the humans exchange more presents covered in shiny paper. A book, a gadget of some sort. She didn’t care. She already had everything she wanted.
Her name was spoken many more times throughout the night. Not even the puppy, unnamed and with eyes full of the newness of the world, could see her. But they knew her, and that made all the difference.
Santa was the best-known. He probably always would be. But now she had a follower, and her follower had a family, and for the first time, she was going to have a merry Christmas too.
