“Do you ever wish we had met earlier?” Carlos pauses Netflix and turns to look at his boyfriend. “Say in high school. Do you ever wish we had met in high school?”
“No, not particularly. I was a mess in high school. And I only ever want you to see the better parts of myself.” — TK and Carlos + watching Heartstopper = Lots of feelings, emotional conversations, and other fun times on the couch.
Characters: TK Strand, Carlos Reyes, Nancy Gillian, Gabriel Reyes, Firehouse 126 Crew
Prompt: Race Against the Clock
Summary: Carlos becomes the threat he was called in to investigate when he’s knocked out during a search and wakes up with a bomb strapped to his chest with time running out.
Bomb threats were Carlos’ least favorite calls. On one hand, they were usually a hoax. On the other hand, there was no coming back if they weren’t, your life usually ending before it could even flash before your eyes. He had been in the force long enough to see both.
His first false alarm had come eight months into the job, when a call to the Crime Stoppers hotline had warned of a bomb at the UT campus. They had evacuated the area and spent hours searching but, in the end, it turned out to be no more than a joke. Since then, he had been called to five other similar situations at different locations; they all turned out to be false, but he hated every single one of them.
On a different occasion, Carlos had been off shift when reports came of a suspicious package at a shopping center, and he had had to watch through the news as a swarm of APD officers entered the building. That day had ended with a bomb exploding and seven cops losing their lives. Carlos had been called in to help deal with the ramifications, but luck had been on his side, and he hadn’t been there when it went off.
Today Carlos is sitting on his desk doing paperwork when another call comes in: an anonymous tip into the hotline speaking of a threat to the Texas Capitol in downtown Austin.
Dropping his pen in an instant, Carlos turns to the others around the bullpen with wide eyes and mouth hanging open. Because suddenly this threat seemed very real compared to all the other calls in which he had been a willing but reluctant participant. Those had been at public buildings and relatively low-risk locations; this one, on the other hand, was at a government building and carried with it not only a threat to life and structure but also to the heart and pride of the Lone Star State.
Wasting no time, Carlos grabs his service weapon and cruiser keys and runs behind Mitchell and his fellow officers; because on this sunny afternoon it’s all hands on deck.
-x-x-x-
1 hour and 40 minutes
Carlos and Mitchell arrive on scene at 2:45 pm, spend five minutes listening to their Sergeant explain the situation, then enter the Capitol. Guns pointed at all corners, behind each door, and in advance of every hall they walk into as they make their way through the building.
Tasked to work in pairs, Mitchell’s comforting presence behind Carlos helps ground him, even as his heart seems to want to beat out of his chest. The usual buzz and every day action of the building is now replaced with a quiet and eerie atmosphere that wraps around him like a chokehold, with the only sounds in the building coming from their own footsteps and tense voices as they provide updates through their coms.
Five minutes into their search the voice of their Sergeant joins the others in his ear, “be advised I’ve just been notified that a guided tour was happening when the call came in and one of the individuals signed in for that hour has not been accounted for. So, be on the lookout for a 5 feet 8 inches male, weighing approximately 172 pounds, with short, dark brown hair and brown eyes. We are not yet sure if we’re looking for a victim or person of interest but everyone be careful.”
“Copy.” Come the various responses from all five groups conducting the search.
“Reyes, I’m taking a left here, you go right and we will meet back in the middle,” Mitchell directs when they reach a branching path that circles back at a lobby farther into the hall.
Carlos nods and squeezes his partner’s shoulder as she passes. He continues his uneventful search for a few more minutes before footsteps at his back have him twisting around, gun raised and finger tightening on the trigger.
Very briefly Carlos sees a man matching the description of the one they’re looking for but has no time to reach for his radio or even pull the trigger. His head implodes with pain as he crumbles to the ground, a wooden plank dropping to the floor in his direct line of sight. Carlos’ eyes go in and out of focus as he stares at the crimson coloring the otherwise pristine wood.
At a moment like this Carlos would like to think that his last thoughts would be of TK, and he does says a breathy ‘I love you’ to his boyfriend, but his very last thought is the realization that as his body loses the fight to stay awake, there is someone dragging him by the ankles.
Summary: “That’s the embankment where the ambulance slid off.” TK turned around and walked a few feet before he stopped and stared morosely at the water, no longer frozen but again free and easy flowing. “And that’s the pond."
Carlos’ eyes widened, first in recognition, then horror, and finally on something TK couldn’t name.
—
After too many sleepless nights, TK takes Carlos to the field where he fell in the ice. In between stories of the past spoken in soft whispers under the starry night and familiar touches that begin to mend the broken parts within themselves, next to the pond that almost swallowed their future, TK and Carlos begin to rebuild their present.
TK opened his eyes and shivered. He turned around seeking his personal heat source but was met with an empty bed and cold sheets. The bathroom light was turned off, so he knew Carlos was not there but the crack under their bedroom door was too illuminated for this time of night and he knew it was more than the light that filtered in from the streetlights of downtown Austin.
Since the fall in the pond and his bout with hypothermia TK found himself cold more often than not, his body and skin still adjusting to normal temperatures and to it no longer needing mechanical aid to keep him alive. Tonight however, the cold had nothing to do with his accident and everything to do with the man missing from the bed. Lying next to Carlos always felt to TK like being out in the sun and like in any cloudy day or night he instantly felt a chill settle in his bones whenever his warm body left him. It was a wonder TK managed to sleep at all during their time apart.
Groaning, he got out of bed and grabbed his blanket, wrapping it around his body like a burrito before he tiptoed outside. His eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness of the loft’s open space, the only light in the room coming from a single bulb turned on in the kitchen. Glasses on, curls untamed and falling every which way, Carlos stood in front of the stove, one hand softly stirring whatever was on the pot, the other swiping pages as he read.
The sight made TK sigh, because this wasn’t the first time this had happened in the two weeks since he had been released from the hospital. Last night he had been watching old ‘The Great British Bake Off’ episodes, two days ago it was his newest true crime novel and three days ago just absentmindedly staring at the few passing cars from the living room window. Before that there had been more tv, more books, more staring, and no sleep.
"Carlos?” TK whispered, not wanting to startle Carlos as he wrapped his arms around his back. “What are you doing?”
Carlos blinked sluggishly a few times but said nothing. He sank deeper into the embrace and exhaled slowly. “I’m making flan,” he said after a few beats, voice tentative and lost.
“At 3:30 in the morning?” TK wondered.
Carlos shrugged and continued to stir. His other hand having abandoned the book as it settled over TK’s.
“Hey, look at me,” TK prodded, waited a few, then disentangled his arms, holding onto Carlos’ one hand and tugging until he turned around. “Oh, baby, come here.” Seeing bloodshot eyes and a tired frown all but broke TK’s heart, knowing he was the reason his boyfriend looked like that, so he pulled him close and held him.
Carlos breathed him in and closed his eyes as he tried to focus on the smell of their detergent and TK’s body wash. But the remembered smell of antiseptic and decay was strong, and it begged for attention from the darkest corners of his mind.
“What’s wrong?” TK had a pretty good idea what was going on, but a lack of communication had almost wrecked this beautiful thing they had, so instead of just assuming he waited until Carlos spoke.
TK felt Carlos shake his head and thought that would be the end of it, but then he inhaled sharply and said, “Nothing is wrong. I just can’t sleep.” His voice cracked and TK thought he heard his heart follow suit. “I did this a lot during the last few months,” Carlos vaguely pointed to the stove and ingredients on the counter. “I guess it became a habit.”
“I’m so sor-.”
Carlos cut him off with a kiss, chaste and salty, but loving all the same. “We don’t have to keep apologizing, we already forgave each other,” he whispered against TK’s lips, resting their foreheads together.
“But I do, I still have 97 to go.” Seeing Carlos’ confused expression, TK chuckled sadly and explained, “one apology for each day that I broke your heart. For each night that you waited alone, hoping I would come home.”
“You’re here now, Ty. That’s the only thing that matters,” Carlos insisted, like he did every time they had this conversation.
They had talked about it in the hospital and when they came home, but for TK it wasn’t enough. He desperately wanted to believe it, but his guilt wasn’t as forgiving as Carlos and everything he did still felt like too little too late. He wished he could rewind the last few months and choose to talk instead of running on that fateful day, but he knew the universe didn’t work that way. So he inhaled and admitted in the exhale, “I wish I had never left.”
“Me too.” And for the first time TK felt like Carlos was truly being sincere, not forgiving for the sake of the future but honest for the sake of the present. “But it happened.”
“I can’t promise I will never freak out again, but I will always stay, or at least I will come back,” TK mumbled, wanting to seal the vow with a kiss but not feeling he had earned that one tonight.
“Why didn’t you?” Carlos wondered. It was a question he often asked himself in the quiet of the night, but this was the first time he allowed himself to speak the words out loud.
“I wanted to return, I really did, but I’d already fucked up and I thought you’d be better off without me. And I know that’s a shitty thing to say now, knowing how not better we both were, but-.” TK paused and pulled back, setting his hand on the nape of Carlos’ neck and staring intently into his soulful eyes. “Things break around me, Carlos. I make things break around me. My sobriety, my parents’ marriage, the cancer, my relationship with Alex, the 126. I didn’t want you to break too. And somehow in between trying to protect you I ended up being the thing that broke us.”
Carlos chuckled, but the sound was humorless and empty. “Not sure how much pull you think you have with the universe, babe, but I really can’t see how all those things are your fault.”
“But that doesn’t erase the fact I wasn’t here before, and I’m so sorry, Carlos. I know I can erase what I did but I can be better. I will be better.” TK moved his hand from Carlos’ neck to his cheek and wiped his tears away, smiling when Carlos reached forward to swipe at his own.
“The only thing that can break me is not trying, and we’re doing that now. We’re talking, and getting to know each other better than before. That’s all I ask for and you’re giving it to me now.” Carlos pressed a kiss to TK’s lips and whispered when they parted, “I’m good, Ty, We’re good. You don’t have to apologize anymore.”
TK made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat and reluctantly nodded. “Can we go to bed now?” He turned off the stove, and began to pull Carlos back to their room.
Carlos closed his eyes and shivered. He shook his head and opened his eyes, now a shade darker and clouded with something TK couldn’t see. “I don’t think I can, even if I tried.”
“Why?” TK cried, broken and desperate. Nothing he did felt like enough and he hated when Carlos’ mind went to a place he couldn’t follow. “I’m here now.”
“But you almost weren’t,” Carlos breathed out, and TK suddenly understood. The shadows in Carlos’ eyes weren’t the memories of their months apart, but the shadows that had come to take TK away. He was alive, but the demons lingered.
“Do you trust me?” TK asked but didn’t wait for an answer as he sprinted to their room, leaving Carlos alone in the kitchen. He came back a moment later with two hoodies and pairs of shoes.
Carlos nodded, grabbing what TK offered and getting dressed without even asking why. And not ten minutes later they were in the car and driving away from the loft.
“Where are we going?” Carlos broke when they had been in the car for 20 minutes, leaving the urban side of Austin and entering country roads and sparse homes.
“Almost there,” TK said vaguely, eyes on the road, one hand on the steering wheel and the other held in between Carlos’.
Ten minutes later they finally parked in what looked like the middle of nowhere. TK put on a beanie and stepped outside the car, knowing Carlos would follow. He waited for Carlos to meet him and intertwined their hands, walking a little before he pointed to a spot on their left. “That’s the embankment where the ambulance slid off.” TK turned around and walked a few feet before he stopped and stared morosely at the water, no longer frozen but again free and easy flowing. “And that’s the pond.”
Carlos’ eyes widened, first in recognition, then horror, and finally on something TK couldn’t name.
TK put a finger under Carlos’ chin and nudged until he turned to look at him. He opened the zipper of his hoodie and grabbed Carlos’ hand, setting it over the faint scar on his chest, tracing the pattern with his fingers. “When I got shot, you were there. You were outside, you know where, and how it happened. And I remember after the solar flares, when I started sleeping at the condo, you would have trouble falling asleep, until you began tracing the pattern of the scar and your breathing evened out.”
TK moved Carlos’ hand to his forehead and continued, “the next time, you were the one that realized we were missing. You worked like the detective you will be one day and you found us. You saw the kidnappers and where we were held. In the hospital you would spend hours just staring at the bandage while you thought I wasn’t watching. And at home you would again trace the scar with your fingers before you could sleep. And sometimes in the middle of the night too, when you woke up and thought I was still asleep.” TK felt Carlos’ thumb move from the faint scar on his hairline and reach down to tenderly wipe a tear from his eye. He gave Carlos a watery smile and grabbed his hand again, taking a few steps until they were only a few feet from the pond.
“But this time there’s no scar to remember. There’s no evidence or mark of what happened. Yes, I still get tired easily, and I’m cold often, but this has been my worst injury, the one that almost did it, and there’s nothing. Sometimes it’s like it never happened. But it did. And we know the memories are not going away. So maybe being here will help, just seeing it for yourself and putting an image to the nightmares.” TK kneeled down and carefully put his hand under the water.
“I had spent months trying not to think about you. Telling myself it was for the best. You dodged a bullet and that was a good thing. But in that moment, when the ice cracked and I fell all I could think about was you, Carlos. The water was frigid and I couldn’t breathe but it was nothing like the pain of losing you and I hate that it took me until that moment to realize I had doomed both of us.”
TK took a few deep breaths before he stood up, dried his hand on his pants and stuffed it in the pocket of his hoodie. When he raised his gaze to look at Carlos his eyes were full of unshed tears but they looked clearer somehow. “Thank you, this helps,” Carlos choked out, then nodded, recognizing there was more TK needed to say.
“Growing up, after the divorce, I used to bounce between houses. Sometimes it was my dad’s when my mom was deep in a case, then my mom’s when dad was having a bad week or too many long shifts. Many times it was a bunk in the firehouse, and sometimes even Enzo’s apartment when neither parent was free. Later I had an apartment; it wasn’t great, just the one I had enough money to rent. Moving here was never a choice, and neither was moving into my dad’s house. But choosing you was a choice. Letting myself love again was a choice. Moving into the condo was a choice.”
“Then I took that choice away when I bought the loft,” Carlos finished for him. “I should have realized, I’m so-.”
TK silenced Carlos with a kiss. He deepened it, pushing past his lips and letting his tongue explore and enjoy the taste that was all Carlos. But just as quickly, he pulled back. “If I can’t apologize, neither can you.”
“We make quite the pair.” Carlos grinned, and for the first time in a while, it reached his eyes.
“A perfect pair.” TK sat down, crossed-legged on the ground, and pulled Carlos down with him. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, babe. I just need you to understand why it took this place almost taking me away from you for me to realize that I had made a mistake. I never stopped loving you, I could never even if I tried. And I’m not apologizing for how I felt, but for the way I handled my feelings. For not talking to you like I’m doing now, for leaving, and not returning until after I got hurt.”
Carlos nodded and set his head on TK’s shoulder, smiling when TK giggled when his curls tickled his cheek. It was a familiar exchange and it almost made Carlos’ heart burst. “Then I’m not apologizing for buying the loft.”
“You shouldn’t, I love our loft,” TK interrupted, resting his head over Carlos’.
“You didn’t let me finish,” Carlos murmured, stuffing his hand inside TK’s hoodie’s pocket and lacing their fingers together. “I’m not apologizing for buying it, but the way I went about it. I should have explained what I wanted to do and stop if it’s not something you wanted. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with you; that’s my choice. And I’m sorry I took yours away from you.”
“It’s not about the loft, like it’s not about this pond,” TK said, trying to sort through his thoughts and share them with Carlos at the same time. “I have never enjoyed the feeling of being out of control. It’s how addiction makes me feel, like the drugs are the ones on the wheel and I’m just along for the ride. And I know it was my choice in the beginning but sometimes, when you’re so deep in it, then it’s not a choice anymore. There’s not enough left of you to even make that decision.” TK shuddered as he remembered those days, when he was so far up, high in the sky, he couldn’t even tell which way was down.
TK took a moment to compose himself, burrowing deeper into Carlos’ side, before he continued. “It’s also how I felt with Alex, things felt so good that I didn’t see the signs. And I know you’re not Alex, I know it was a sweet gesture, and that you weren’t trying to undermine me or my issues, but it felt that way, and after my second time at rehab, I promised myself I would never stop being in control of my life again. That’s a good thing that came from addiction, I guess, the bad is that I’m always waiting for things to break when they’re too good, and I’m usually ready to bolt before that happens.”
“Thank you for trusting me with this,” Carlos said softly, squeezing TK’s hand. “I will try to never make you feel that way again. But if I inadvertently do, please tell me?” At TK’s nod, Carlos kept going. “Moving forward, we just have to talking, communicate like we’re doing now. Before I make any other big decisions that should be done as a team, and next time you feel the urge to run. Deal?”
“Deal.” TK raised his other hand to Carlos’ check, blindly wiping away the tears he knew were there just from his voice. Carlos turned his face and kissed TK’s palm. And just like that their bodies and gestures continued to sink and slot back into place. “Do you think you could sleep now?” TK asked tentatively, a finger now twisting one of Carlos’ curls over and over.
“Can you tell me more about that day?” Carlos asked, eyes squinted and far away as he tried to picture the now normal pond covered in ice. In his mind he saw it break and he imagined running his fingers over the cracks, just like he had done on TK’s old scars.
“Of course.” TK started when the call came in, and ended on words spoken in Hebrew. He couldn’t remember more so Carlos filled in the blanks. He began on an unexpected radio call from Nancy and finished on prayers to a God he hadn’t prayed to in ten years. The tales then came together and led them to this moment.
Tonight had been meant to help Carlos cope, but it ended up being what both men needed. Because words can save the man to whom they’re spoken but also the one speaking them in the first place. And somehow in between stories of the past spoken in soft whispers under the starry night and familiar touches that began to mend the broken parts within themselves, next to the pond that almost swallowed their future, TK and Carlos began to rebuild their present. They couldn’t see this scar, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there. And the first step to healing was recognizing that just like a broken heart, this one was invisible to the eye but still real and slowly fading.
“TK?” Carlos asked a while later, both boys now lying on the ground and staring up at the night sky.
“Yeah?” TK called back.
“Can you please stop getting hurt?” Carlos said sincerely.
TK laughed, knowing he brought it on himself by reminding Carlos of all the scars and close calls. Still, he nodded and squeezed his hand. “I will try,” he promised, knowing anything more would be a lie.
“Thank you.” Carlos brought TK’s hand to his lips and kissed it, then laced their fingers together again and set it over his stomach. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And when they whispered the words, their eyes were no longer on the stars, but on one another. Because not even the Milky Way held a candle to each other.
*Title comes from the song 'Creo En Ti’ by Reik and translates to something like “my demons are finally at peace today”. Thanks @pragmatic-optimist for recommending this song and telling me it reminds you of TK and Carlos. It’s now a permanent part of my Tarlos playlist.
“You’re my friend too, Carlos,” Nancy assured, understanding the meaning behind Carlos’ broken words. “Not because of TK, but because of you. And I’m sure the rest of the 126 would agree. You’re one of us.”
Carlos nodded this time, his words failing him in this unfamiliar, fragile state. But he took a breath and pushed through. “I’ve never broken up with seven people at the same time. But that’s what this feels like.”
—
After learning of the break-up, Nancy pays Carlos a visit.
Nancy knocked on the door and shuffled on the spot as she waited. She was sure this was the right thing to do but she was still a little nervous. Luckily she didn’t have to question her decision for long since the door opened almost immediately.
“Nancy, hi,” Carlos greeted, trying to sound nonchalant but unable to hide his surprise.
“Hey, Carlos.” Nancy took in his appearance and felt like she was intruding on a personal moment. His curls were wild and messy, like he had run his fingers through them a lot, and he was wearing sweats and a gray t-shirt. It was what she assumed TK’s Carlos was like, domestic on an off-shift morning, laidback and unconcerned, and not at all like she was used to seeing the typically pristine officer.
“TK’s not here,” Carlos said. He stuffed his hands in his pants pockets and stood there blinking sluggishly at her.
“No, I know.” Nancy took in Carlos’ tired demeanor and the bags under his eyes. It was obvious her partner wasn’t the only one hurting. “He’s at my house. Nursing one hell of a headache and probably regretting his life choices, but -”
“Is he okay? Did he get hurt?” Carlos cut her off, his voice shaking.
“He’s alright,” she assured him. “But that’s not why I’m here. How are you, Carlos?”
“Me? I’m fine,” Carlos said defensively, and for a moment she wondered if he was about to shut the door in her face, but he only stepped back and vaguely motioned inside. “Want to come in?”
Nancy nodded and handed him the pastry box she’d been carrying. “I brought breakfast.”
Carlos hummed his thanks and walked to the kitchen. He stayed quiet as he busied himself, grabbing plates and starting the coffee machine.
Nancy sat on a stool at the kitchen counter while Carlos worked. She had been to Carlos’ home enough times to know the space was always immaculate, but today there were dirty plates and glasses in the sink, empty takeout boxes on the dining table, and an unmade bed in the room she could see deeper in the apartment.
“Thank you for bringing this,” Carlos said. He set a cinnamon roll on a plate and passed it to Nancy then cut a quarter of one and set it on a plate for himself. He poured coffee in two mugs and sat on a stool next to Nancy.
“Not hungry?” Nancy asked, brows pinched in worry.
“Not really.” Carlos shrugged and took a tentative bite. “It’s really good.” Despite his words he didn’t seem too interested.
“So, how are you, really?” Nancy asked after a moment of quiet.
Carlos paused mid bite. “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
Nancy rolled her eyes and took another bite. “Don’t play dumb with me, Reyes. You know why I’m here. TK told me you guys broke up.”
“Oh,” Carlos breathed out and in between the two letters his demeanor crumbled.
“What happened?” Nancy wondered.
“TK didn’t tell you?” Carlos asked, sounding interested in the conversation for the first time.
“No.” Nancy took a sip of her coffee and waited to see if Carlos would explain.
“So, what happened to TK?” Carlos shifted uncomfortably and changed the topic, much to Nancy’s disappointment. “You said he’s nursing a headache. Did he,” he cut himself off, swallowed hard, “He didn’t, right?”
“No,” Nancy said quickly, wanting to ease that specific concern. “Bar fight.” Nancy frowned when he didn’t react and added, “You don’t seem surprised.”
“No,” Carlos said simply, “I guess I’m not.” He shrugged and looked down, using his fork to play with the pastry on his plate.
“Not the first time?” Nancy asked. That made sense; only experience and one too many fights could have kept TK from ending up on a stretcher last night.
“Not my story to tell.” That answer alone was enough for concern, especially coupled with last night’s events. So, Nancy made a mental note to keep an eye on TK for the foreseeable future.
Nancy nodded and they fell into silence. Quietly, they finished their cinnamon rolls and drank their coffee and only when the silence had become oppressive did Nancy talk again. “I answered all your questions, so now it’s your turn. How are you doing?”
Carlos inhaled, released it out slowly. He ran a hand down his face, then his fingers through his curls, tugging at the end in frustration before walking to the sink under the pretense of doing the dishes. It was only when his back was to Nancy that he finally answered, “What do you want me to say, Nance? That I’m not doing well? That I haven’t slept soundly in days? That I miss him?”
Nancy walked to Carlos and hugged him. He tensed at first, then relaxed and sank into her arms, clearly in need of comfort. “I’m sorry,” Nancy whispered, wishing she could say more. Wishing she could do more.
“Want to tell me what happened?” she asked when Carlos pulled back.
Carlos shook his head and said nothing as he went back to washing the dishes.
“Anything I can do to help?” Nancy tried, wishing her healing skills extended to a broken heart.
He shook his head again, but this time turned around to look at her. “This. Just this. Thank you for stopping by, for checking on me. Now that,” he stumbled through his words, “Without TK- I wasn’t sure if… You know.”
“You’re my friend too, Carlos,” Nancy assured, understanding the meaning behind Carlos’ broken words. “Not because of TK, but because of you. And I’m sure the rest of the 126 would agree. You’re one of us.”
Carlos nodded this time, his words failing him in this unfamiliar, fragile state. But he took a breath and pushed through. “I’ve never broken up with seven people at the same time. But that’s what this feels like.” He laughed and looked down, embarrassed.
Nancy’s eyes softened. It was hard when your life was so intertwined with a partner that you no longer knew where one of you ended and the other began. She assumed he had other friends, maybe even some on the force, but his life had become so tied up with TK’s that he was basically part of the 126 in everything but job title.
She checked her watch. “I have a shift so I have to head out.” She fixed him with a hard look as she stood. “I don’t know what went wrong between you guys. Clearly neither of you want to talk about it. But I really hope you can fix whatever it was.” She reached over and gave his arm a squeeze. “Don’t give up on each other.”
Carlos nodded but didn’t respond and she turned toward the door. “Can you call me if anything else happens to him?” he asked, the words quick as if he had been trying to hold them back but they’d come out anyway.
Nancy nodded, pleased. “You can call him too, you know.”
“I can, but he will probably not answer,” Carlos said, a trace of bitterness in his tone.
“Okay,” Nancy acknowledged. She walked to the door and Carlos followed. “I expect to see you at my apartment at the next 126 hangs.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she glared at him and said, “No excuses, Reyes. You’re stuck with us now.”
Carlos couldn’t help but smile, grateful beyond words to still be considered a friend. “I’ll be there,” he promised.
“Don’t forget Andrea’s taquitos,” Nancy threw over her shoulder. She chuckled at his startled look and said, more seriously this time, “And call if you need anything. No matter when or time of day. I’m here for you.”
Carlos’ choked up thank you was the last thing she heard as she stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button to the lobby.
Nancy hadn’t known what to expect from her visit to Carlos’ place. What she found there didn’t exactly set her nerves at ease and now she doesn’t only have to worry about one idiot paramedic but also a stubborn cop. But at least she knows for sure that her friends are still in love and if they need a little push in the right direction she’s happy to be the one to shove them off a cliff if that would get them back together.
Weeks after being released from the hospital TK runs into Andrea at the farmers market, setting his nerves on edge as his guilt over the breakup still presses heavily on his shoulders. But a little time in the kitchen leads to forgiveness and the reminder that there’s nothing stronger than love.
“TK, Hola.” The words came from a familiar, but unexpected voice from behind him and TK froze. Before he was ready she was standing in front of him; for such a small woman Andrea Reyes had a very quick and long stride.
“Andrea, hi,” TK croaked, wishing he had decided to go to the regular grocery store instead of the farmers market.
Andrea crossed her arms over her chest, a little awkwardly with the basket full of produce clutched in one hand, but it was still among the five most intimidating sights he’d ever seen. “Well, are you planning to stand there all day or will you come give me a hug?”
“Uh, yeah, sorry.” TK stumbled but stepped forward, gingerly placing his arms around Andrea’s before she pulled him all the way in and almost crushed his body with a full on motherly hug.
Andrea patted TK’s cheek when they pulled apart and smiled. “It’s so good seeing you looking like your old self, mi corazón. We were all so worried.”
TK nodded and set his hand over Andrea’s for a moment. “Carlos told me you were at the hospital, thank you for being there for him, even when the weather was still bad. It must not have been easy getting out there,” he said sincerely.
“I was there for both of you, TK. Carlos needed me, but so did you,” Andrea whispered, her eyes misting a little. “And you pulled through for us.” She blinked the tears away then pinched TK’s cheek with a chuckle, admiring the rosy color and signs of life.
“Thank you.” TK hugged her again and this time almost squished her in his arms. He had missed Andrea, nearly as much as Carlos. “Carlos isn’t here. He’s on shift,” he said belatedly, realizing that was probably why Andrea had come by.
“And he let you do the groceries?” Andrea gasped. At TK’s questioning gaze, she laughed before explaining, “Carlitos is very particular about his produce. I still remember the outrage one time Gabriel brought plantains that weren’t ripe enough, while the avocados were past ripped and all black and mushy.”
TK couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. “That does sound like Carlos. He can be a little controlling in the kitchen.”
“Only in the kitchen?” Andrea asked, eyebrows raised but a twinkle in her eye.
“Touché. But no, Carlos didn’t ask me to come.” A deep blush spread across his cheeks and TK scratched the back of his head nervously.
Andrea squinted and peered into the basket in TK’s hands, a grin breaking on her face as she took in the contents. “Are you making tamales?” she asked, eyeing the corn husks that were a big giveaway.
The blush on TK’s face deepened and he ducked his head. “Yeah,” he said simply, smiling shyly as he tried to avoid catching her eye. “I just wanted to make dinner for Carlos. He always does it for me and I wanted to return the gesture.”
“Did Carlos give you my recipe?” Andrea wondered, smiling proudly at her future son-in-law. Or at least she hoped so.
TK shook his head, and grabbed his phone from his pocket, waving it in the air as he spoke. “I looked at some YouTube videos. And Pinterest. Also TikTok just to be sure.”
“Nonsense,” Andrea muttered, looking genuinely appalled. “¿Para qué estamos las mamás?” She said the last part in Spanish and TK made a mental note to ask Carlos what she meant, but whatever it was, she didn’t sound happy. “You should have called me!” She swatted at his arm playfully and grabbed his hand, pulling him to a stand advertising ‘The best homegrown produce in East Austin’. “Come, these avocados look beautiful! And look at these bell peppers,” she cried, and TK laughed. Not that he had any doubts before, but at that moment TK realized Carlos really was his mother’s son.
TK spent the next twenty minutes or so following Andrea around the farmers market as they continued grabbing everything necessary for chicken and pork tamales, along with a baguette for breakfast, a bag of mixed nuts for their next hike and some conchas and empanadas from the stand that doubled as a panaderia. Those last ones just because they were Carlos’ favorite and never failed to make him smile.
“Is this everything?” TK wondered after they had done two laps around the market and filled four bags of groceries.
“What happened with your social media recipes, TK? Don’t they tell you if you are ready?”
TK’s mouth hung open and he took a step back, but Andrea decided to cut him some slack and let out a little chuckle. “Not funny,” he mumbled, seeing he was being played.
“Well, next time call me instead of looking for gringo recipes. But yes, that’s everything we will need. Now let’s go, we need to get everything ready before Carlitos gets home.” TK’s eyes widened, and Andrea amended, “if that’s okay with you. I don’t want to impose or invite myself. I could just text you the recipe.”
TK’s surprise was evident but he recovered quickly and nodded emphatically. “No, no. I’d love to cook together. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to offer.”
“It would be my pleasure,” Andrea said with a smile. She turned and walked out of the market and towards the adjacent parking lot, clearly expecting him to follow.
TK sent a prayer above that he would survive the day and jogged after her. Andrea might seem like her usual, loving self, but he was still the guy that had broken her boy’s heart, and she was nothing if not a mother.
-x-x-x-
The whole ride home passed with TK quietly wondering if there were any good places to dispose of a body near the apartment. It was downtown in broad daylight, but if anyone could it would be the wife of a Texas Ranger and mother of a police officer. Especially when she was also the mother of the boy whose heart he broke. But he just swallowed his fear and made small talk; asking Andrea about the ranch, Gabriel and the extended family he’d met at Tía Lucy’s, and answering her questions about his recovery, his dad, and the rest of the 126.
“This place is stunning, TK,” Andrea exclaimed as soon as they stepped inside, dropping the bags by the door and taking a self-guided tour around the apartment. “Look at these windows! I always told Carlitos there’s nothing like getting direct sunlight. And this floor, and the appliances in the kitchen.” Andrea continued to comment as she took every nook and cranny of their new loft. “And the couch! The one in the condo was so small and stiff, but Carlos always got offended when Gabriel said it made his back ache.”
TK choked on a breath as Andrea mentioned the couch. He also appreciated the size and how comfortable it was but for entirely different reasons. He coughed a few times before he was able to speak again. “Is this the first time you’ve seen the loft?” he wondered and belatedly realized it wasn’t the best question to ask.
Andrea’s smile dimmed and her eyes softened as she sadly shook her head. “Carlos said it wasn’t ready yet, and he didn’t want to invite us until you were done with it. Which, in retrospect, we should have seen as strange. Seeing as he called me when he decorated the condo and he always enjoys fixing stuff around the ranch with his dad.”
“Oh,” TK breathed out, feeling guilty all over again for the break-up and now also for bringing Andrea here without considering that Carlos hadn’t shown his parents around the loft first. He had always felt so proud for being a small part in bringing the Reyes family back together, and now his heart broke at the knowledge that he was the reason it had pulled apart again. “I’m sorry. I-”
“It’s okay, mi amor. There will always be some bumps in the road. Now show me around the kitchen, we have to get started if we want to be ready before Carlos gets home.”
-x-x-x-
Maybe Carlos was up to something all the times he had told TK problems seemed smaller in the kitchen, because it took only half an hour of cooking alongside Andrea for his heart to stop beating so fast and his hands to settle. He stayed mostly quiet, letting her set the pace and direction of their talk, following her instructions as he soaked the husks in hot water, chopped veggies, and mixed the ingredients for the dough.
“Can you pass me the cilantro, por favor?” Andrea asked, startling TK who was struggling to spread the dough on the husks, making sure it was thin and even. He paused for a moment to search for the herbs she’d requested.
“TK, this is parsley,” she said when he handed her a bag.
TK’s cheeks reddened as he turned around to look through the rest of their groceries, running his fingers through his hair when he didn’t see any other green bunches. “Oh…I must have bought the wrong thing by accident,” he said nervously, stumbling through his words.
“That’s okay. This has happened to every family at least once.” Andrea turned around and rummaged through the rack of spices, lifting her fist in celebration when she found the desired jar. “Aha! I knew Carlos would have some dried cilantro lying around. Gabriel made the same mistake at the store once and Carlitos has never let him forget it”.
TK blew out a long breath, relieved that confusing cilantro with parsley wasn’t going to be the thing that made Andrea realize this was too much and TK didn’t deserve to be part of the Reyes family. But he couldn’t stop thinking that Andrea was secretly still mad at him for what he did to Carlos, so he smiled tightly and continued to work quietly.
“I’m sorry,” TK said tentatively after the silence in the kitchen started to become uncomfortable.
“It’s okay, mijo. Fresh cilantro is always better but this one works too,” Andrea said softly, not bothering to look at him as she placed tablespoons of the chicken and pork filling on the dough that he’d already spread out.
TK set the dough down and walked to the sink, washing his hands for longer than necessary. “I’m sorry for hurting Carlos,” he finally said when he turned back around. His gaze settled on the window to his left as his eyes filled.
“Oh, TK, come here.” Andrea took the dishcloth from him and pulled him in for a hug. When they parted she grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. “You don’t have to apologize to me, mi amor. I know you love Carlos, just as much as he loves you, and that’s all we care about.”
“But, I hurt him. So badly,” TK sniffled, and used the sleeve of his hoodie to swab at his eyes. “How can you still want me around after that?”
“Because you make Carlitos happy, and that’s everything we have ever wanted for him.” Andrea’s words made it sound so simple, too easy, and if it had been anyone else he wouldn’t have believed them. But it felt different when it was spoken by a Reyes. He suspected it had something to do with the familiar soulful eyes and warm presence.
“But I didn’t make him happy the last three months and I’m so sorry,” TK sobbed. “I never meant to hurt him, I just-”
“TK, you don’t owe me an explanation.” Andrea cut him off, setting her palm on his face and wiping his tears away. “Carlitos already gave me the cliff notes version. And what happened is between you two. And I know you’re both working to move past it and make sure it doesn’t happen again. That’s all that matters to me. Can you just promise me one thing?”
“Anything,” TK rushed to say, smiling wetly when Andrea chuckled.
Andrea pressed a kiss to the top of TK’s head and held his gaze as she spoke. “Don’t leave him again. I know Carlos has a big heart and sometimes that love translates to being overbearing or rash but just talk to him, don’t run. Work your problems together. I’ve known Gabriel since we were 15, we married at 23, and I can tell you that’s the key to any long lasting relationship.”
TK nodded. “I promise. I love him so much. And I never want to hurt him again.”
“But you might, TK. And he might hurt you too. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.” Andrea took a breath and reached for his hands, holding them tightly. “Just make sure your heart always gets back to the right place. Talk things out, be a team, and remember sometimes all we need is to be a little forgiving.”
“Thank you,” TK said softly, and leaned into her touch when Andrea pulled him in for another hug.
“We all love you, Tyler. And that won’t change after just one fight. Now come on, take a moment to clean yourself up and let’s finish these tamales.”
The day ended as one of the best TK could remember. He laughed, shared stories and learned more of his new family in between spreading dough, laying the filling and folding the tamales. In the end, Andrea’s looked like a work of art, while TK’s were a little frayed along the edges.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” TK asked as he removed the tamales from the water.
Andrea shook her head and grabbed her purse and grocery bags. “Thank you, but I already meddled in your plans enough.” When TK opened his mouth to protest, she patted his cheek, and smiled, “you’re a sweet boy, TK. But this is a night for you and your boyfriend to enjoy. Just save us some tamales, Gabriel and I would love to try them.”
“Okay,” TK agreed as he walked her outside. “Thank you, Andrea. And not just for today, but for loving Carlos, accepting us, and seeing me as enough for your son. Being welcomed into this family is everything to me.”
“Thank you, TK. You’re everything we ever wanted for Carlitos. Just remember what we talked about and let your love be enough.” Andrea hugged him goodbye and, after a parting kiss to his forehead, got in her car and disappeared down the street.
A half hour later when the door swung open and Carlos came in, the kitchen was still a bit messy and TK’s eyes were puffy and a little bloodshot, but seeing his boyfriend’s face break into an adorable, little grin as he took in the spread on the table and the familiar aroma, TK knew it had all been worth it.
