#a crown of swords

Rand’s breakdown/depressive episode in ACoS always felt weird to me because Rand says he locked himself in his rooms for days because of something that objectively, unambiguously didn’t happen. It just doesn’t make sense. What makes sense though is that Rand is a way more unreliable narrator than usual, specifically because he is convinced that he can’t trust himself.

So it went like this: Rand has been rescued from the Tower Aes Sedai just a couple of days ago (and a lot of other unpleasant things happened during this time) and he is not in the best place mentally right now. Cadsuane shows up and makes him confront the idea that he already might be going insane. Then he sleeps with Min and avoids her for normal Rand reasons. After that, during a staged fight with Perrin he actually gets so mad he nearly kills him (which is also somewhat debatable). And then he locks himself in his rooms.

Three main things would be on his mind right now: that he might be going insane, that he is not in control of himself enough to not hurt people close to him, and Min. And he is ruminating in these thoughts for days, without getting any actual sleep. So it is no wonder that in a couple of days, with enough doubt, self-loathing and sleep deprivation, he convinced himself that he assaulted Min. He doesn’t remember it that way but it doesn’t matter to him.

Was it how RJ intended this to be read? Who the hell knows, probably no. Do I refuse to read it any other way? Yes, absolutely