I have a new hill to die on: Qui-Gon Jinn was totally all indulgent smiles when Obi-Wan said, “The Council will not go along with you, not this time.” about training Anakin and he says in the most hilariously self-assuredvoice, “You still have much to learn, Obi-Wan.” because that man knew exactly how they let him get away with everything but then the Council actually does turn him down and Qui-Gon Jinn, that JEDI MASTER, was AGHAST, he literally put his hands on his hips and was all GASP SHOCK SURPRISE THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!?!?! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?! because he GENUINELY BELIEVED they were going to let him have his way, and like he’s not wrong to think that! he says the Sith are back after a literal thousand years and the Jedi are like “ehhhhh, I dunno” but then agree to look into it and start saying it’s a Sith mystery even before they actually uncover any new clues, Qui-Gon says, “I found Space Jesus in the desert, even though it breaks all the rules, you should test him.” and the Jedi are like, SIGH, sure, fine, bring him over here. Anyway, Qui-Gon Jinn routinely got away with murder because the Jedi Order routinely spoiled him and he 100% expected to continue being spoiled and was Shocked Pikachu Face when they put their foot down for once.
You. You get it. Qui-Gon Jinn’s energy is “asshole cat that the Jedi Council are rolling their eyes at when he scream-meows at 5am about how he wants you to watch him drink water from the bathroom, but they do it anyway, because as annoying as this shit is, they also love him and he’s hilarious”.
Rewatching The Clone Wars was a mistake, there are so many meetings between Dooku and Anakin, so many sneering, condescending quips from Dooku about how weak Anakin is and how unfocused he is and how he’s nothing, and every time Anakin’s a little angrier and like 20% more powerful, and I just keep thinking: can you imagine if Dooku had met a fully submerged Darth Vader? I love Anakin being a disaster and I love Dooku being a dignified better-than-you swordsman, but that murder robot would have mopped the floor with Dooku and the look of OH SHIT ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS FUCK OFF POWERFUL AND TAUNTING HIM WAS A MISTAAAAA—*dead* Like, Anakin already wrecks him on the Invisible Hand, imagine Darth Vader’s sheer seething, writing, towering rage coming into the room and Dooku has to realize This Was A Mistake. I am so sad Star Wars robbed us of this.
Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Force itself going, “Fuck the rules of how the Force works, we’re now godmoding Dooku into a Force Ghost for the express purpose of roasting Anakin Skywalker for his terrible life choices.” and even while Dooku’s dead body is still cooling on the floor, his transparent blue ghost self is giving a condescending and pitying look to Vader.
“All these years, Skywalker, and this is still the best you can do? No wonder Obi-Wan let you kill him, he could no longer live with the embarrassment.”
