#also this is based on a true story

teenage boys in young adult novels: greed bows to me. it is my servant and my lever. there was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken. it’s shame that eats men whole.

teenage boys in real life: i bet you can’t eat that entire pizza by yourself-

teenage boys in real life: oh yEAH? WATCH ME-