#and bam

I hate that my phone is broken and that you can’t post selfies on the instagram website ):
so here’s a crappy 5:45 am maccam selfie because I’m pulling an all nighter and opening subway
I can’t stop thinking about a couple of different people right now and it’s driving me crazy because i feel so much about so much and it all just hurts 
because no matter what it always just seems like I’m not good enough
they don’t have enough time for me or they don’t know what they want or it just isn’t me idk I just feel like I belong on the island of misfit toys sometimes 
like I’m kinda broken and I kinda get sad a lot and maybe that makes it hard for people but it just seems as though no one wants me enough for it to make a difference
and then theres you who believes that I’m better off without you right now and I just call bullshit because seven years is a minute compared to forever but the only person I could ever clearly see in my future, no matter where I went or what I did was you 
and now I’m not even sure of some of the things I was most sure of
but goodness am I thankful for the blessings that have been dropping into my life recently
especially tristian, boo if you happen to read this ever I would like to honestly say that since you came back into my life I have been happier and thinking clearer and loving myself more
making sure I’m okay first
and I always know now that you have me in mind all the time, you care what happens to me and you make it a goal to make me smile
not many people are as genuine as you my dear, and I appreciate the fuck out of you
final little side note - hopefully soon I’m going to be making a decent amount of money and I’ll be able to afford an apartment and get my car fixed and get a phone and actually begin my fresh start into living on my own again
I’m gonna quit smoking and start running again, and I’m getting a membership at planet fitness
I’m so excited to start living my life the way I want to live it, and I am also going to start writing more music soon, so if anyone even knows about my music, and is interested, stay tuned

life