*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*
captive hero: aww!
me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man’s heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!
stingray: *nudges my hand*
me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i’m trying to be intimidating here.
