#badboyhalo x reader

series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.

chapter summary you have a small reunion with badboyhalo and punz, basking in the brief juxtaposition of calm. philza presents new information to technoblade and tommy, leaving them to form a sort of game plan as they continue to await your arrival in the tundra. ghostbur finally reaches eret’s castle.

warnings swearing, mentions of arson, destruction, manipulation, and heavy worship

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gif cred belongs to @honeyspawner​

“the entire smp is going crazy about you!” bad muttered into your shoulder. he had to physically lift you up in order for you to be at his level, but you didn’t mind in the least. you knew that’s what came with badboyhalo hugs.

“im sure,” you offered in response. bad let you down after one last squeeze, and you happily turned your open arms to punz.

“you’re crazy, woman,” punz shook his head, though he welcomed your embrace. you shook your head in return.

“what makes me crazy?” you inquired.

punz shook his head again at you after letting you go. “blowing up your own house? destroying neutral? leaving it all without a trace of you, i..” he shrugged at you. “no one understands. everyone thinks you’re dead. or worse.”

though your chest was filled with guilt, you still quirked an eyebrow at him. “what’s worse?”

“worse is that you weren’t the one to ruin it all,” bad explained solemnly. there was a pause where they awaited an explanation of any kind. you gulped down the guilt.

“i did it,” you assured first. “neutral’s livelihood was destroyed by my own doing. but..” you turned your gaze away from them for a moment. “technically, it’s still worse.”

“what do you mean?”

you took a deep breath to help you gather the right words. “i didn’t.. want to destroy neutral.” you looked into bad’s confused eyes, then to punz’s. “dream..”

“don’t say another word,” punz scoffed, throwing up his hands. “i knew that bastard had something to do with it–he withdrew from his alliance with l’manburg, like, two weeks after neutral went.” your brow furrowed as punz continued with frustration, “god, and i asked the egg for any sign that you were alright..” he shook his head. “and it didn’t tell me.”

“it knew you’d be upset,” bad sighed, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “the egg knew what it was doing.” bad smiled, reaching a hand out to you. “it knew she’d find her way to us.” you took it happily, yelping before laughing when bad pulled you into another hug with the two of them.

…

“i got it,” philza announced proudly, laying out a map after entering technoblade’s home. tommy perked up from the couch, where he had unfortunately passed out while waiting for phil. technoblade entered the room.

“knocking would’ve been nice,” the hybrid huffed, leaning over the kitchen table to inspect the large map. philza lit a torch to give the kitchen more illumination than just the moonlight streaming in through the windows.

“you got the message,” phil just brushed as tommy groggily made his way over. “fundy’s foxholes, mapped out to the best of my ability.”

maybe it was residual exhaustion from just waking up, but tommy felt dizzy from just the amount of lines that crossed and zagged on the parchment. “holy shit.. that many?”

“most start on the wall of l’manburg and branch to different locations,” phil explained, bringing his torch the slightest touch closer to the map. “they go to eret’s castle, spawn, old pogtopia.. one even stretches toward the prison.”

they gazed over the map in silence for a moment. technoblade spoke up, “we know fundy was sent out by l’manburg.. if he’s got any sorta’ information, i bet you eret knows.”

“how so?” tommy inquired, looking up at the taller man.

technoblade placed his finger on the tunnel to eret. “there’s no way in hell eret doesn’t know about the foxhole. he’s got eyes everywhere, including in l’manburg. if fundy knew anything, eret would use the foxhole to his advantage.”

“so chances are whatever l’manburg knows, eret knows,” phil agreed. then he sighed, “and.. there’s other news on that front.” they turned their eyes to the blonde man. “dream withdrew his alliance from l’manburg.”

“what?!” tommy immediately gasped, eyes wide with disbelief.

“l’manburg has to know something about y/n,” technoblade spoke seriously. “dream wouldn’t have left unless they were withholding serious information from him.”

“it’s a stupid move on his part, but it has to be true,” phil agreed. “i don’t know what he expects to do without their support.”

“he could’ve found out about the green festival,” technoblade proposed. phil sighed knowingly, shaking his head. tommy looked between the two of them. 

“what happened with the green festival?” tommy questioned.

phil looked toward the boy. “it never happened, but it was supposed to be a cover for l’manburg to kill dream.” tommy blinked in surprise, mouth hanging open in the slightest. “but since dream withdrew, the festival’s cancelled. either he found out about the coup, or he stupidly withdrew from the only nation that could give him support with the y/n situation.”

tommy’s mind was running like wild. though it was the least of his concerns, and certainly not his current priority, he couldn’t help but think that this might be his chance; with dream gone from l’manburg.. they might allow him back. he zoned out staring at the map just thinking of the possibility, heartbeat loud in his ears.

“whatever dream’s doing now, im sure it’s dangerous,” phil spoke, snapping tommy out of his temporary trance. “l’manburg’s backing or not, dream is a powerful guy. we need to keep our guards up and prepare for the possibility that he could come here next.”

“it’s true,” technoblade huffed, looking over at tommy. “he let us go in peace, but that bastard’s patience only lasts so long.” he considered for a moment as philza traced his finger along a path on the map. “tomorrow we’ll go get you some new armor, kid.” tommy grinned. “for now, let’s rest. we can think of plans for defenses and preparations tomorrow.”

philza nodded, rolling up the map. “i’ll be back in the morning. sleep well, boys.”

“night, phil,” tommy waved. once the door closed, he turned to technoblade again. his brother was looking him up and down, making tommy furrow his brow at him.

“im thinking netherite,” technoblade spoke aloud. tommy’s heart leapt. “you probably haven’t had a good set in a while.. im not as good of a welder as y/n, but i can try.”

“anything works, really,” tommy was quick to speak. technoblade offered him a tired smirk before beginning to slink out of the kitchen. “techno.” the taller man turned to him again. “thank you.”

“’course, kid,” the hybrid shrugged. “someone’s gotta take care of you.” tommy smiled. “get some rest, alright?” tommy nodded, muttering a ‘good night’ as technoblade disappeared to his room.

guilt filled his chest in the silence of the kitchen, thinking back to his wishful thoughts of l’manburg. tommy shrugged to himself, rolling his shoulders back at an attempt to rid himself of the feeling. his brother was going to make him some real armor tomorrow–a luxury he hadn’t seen in far too long. l’manburg could never offer him anything as kind as that.

whatever, tommy thought to himself as he retired to his room. it didn’t matter anyway.

…

“what are you two doing so far out of the smp?” you questioned the boys. your trio found a clearing in the forest, where you happily treated them to a picnic of your wrapped cooking. you were quickly preparing sandwiches as they spoke to and questioned you about your journey.

“we could ask you the same,” bad teased, nudging you before explaining, “the egg sent us to retrieve some materials out here. there’s a jungle temple not too far from here that had some..” bad and punz made quick eye contact. “..valuable materials.”

“i see,” you hummed with a nod. “well, im glad you found me on your way back.” they both smiled at you. “i needed a moment with someone other than nature.” you handed them both their completed sandwiches before sitting back to enjoy your own. “i came from the nether.”

bad would’ve choked if he had taken a bite then. “the nether?! i thought you hated it there!”

“i do,” you assured. “that much hasn’t changed.. but i needed to go somewhere that dream wouldn’t expect. and..” you shrugged, running a hand through the grass beneath your knees. “no really expected me to be in the nether.”

“that’s true,” bad ceded.

punz took a bite before asking, “was it a smooth trip, at least?”

you paused for a moment as you considered, thinking of your time with fundy and your moment with the god sent to find you. “as smooth as it could be for the nether, i guess,” you answered, offering him a half smile despite the deep-rooted ache in your chest.

“any idea where you’re headed next?” punz questioned. you hesitated for a moment, and your face must’ve visibly dropped, as bad turned and slapped his friend’s arm. as he quietly lectured him, you turned your gaze to the sky. you furrowed your brow at the unusual sight of a crow flying overhead; they weren’t usually native in brighter forested biomes. your mind wandered for just a moment before you were snapped back into the moment by bad’s voice.

“sorry, y/n,” he offered. “you don’t have to tell us; we know this journey’s yours to make.”

“it’s alright,” you assured, turning your gaze back to them with a kind smile. “im not entirely set on my destination yet, but.. i reallyam enjoying being a nomad again. some things about returning are just harder than others.”

“it’s your calling,” punz shrugged at you knowingly.

“i think so,” you agreed, taking a sip of the water you had gathered from a nearby lake. “but i did like having a home. neutral was the environment i had sought out when i left my village all those years ago..” you shook your head. “it just took a terrible set of circumstances to find it.”

“sometimes that’s how you find the things that become home to you,” bad offered comfortingly. “after all, we did just happen upon the egg.” punz nodded with strong agreement.

“andwe did just happen upon you,” punz reminded, throwing his arm over your shoulder to pull you to his chest affectionately. you giggled out again, placing a hand on the strong arm that had drew you in.

your heart sped up in the slightest as punz held you there for another few minutes as you talked, but you decided to brush it off as delight from getting to talk to the boys you hadn’t seen in so long. and for the rest of the afternoon, you traded stories of times happier than the present, and basked in the presence of the men who were always too busy to see you.

…

“at ease, gentlemen,” eret spoke when he saw his guards turn toward the entrance to his throne room. he knew at once who was walking through the entrance. he smiled kindly as the figure finally came into view. “welcome, ghostbur.” they stood from their throne as ghostbur approached further. “took you long enough.”

“apologies, eret,” ghostbur half smiled, offering a small bow to the king. “it began raining a week after i left and didn’t stop for a good few days.” he stood straight again as eret began to approach him. “you can understand why it took me a bit.”

eret nodded. “im nothing if not understanding.” ghostbur pursed his lips unsurely. “i know you don’t remember much from your past life, ghostbur, but..” eret stopped just a few feet from him. “im not proud of many of the things i did.” they took their glasses off, revealing his stark white eyes to ghostbur. for some reason, the ghastly man didn’t feel at all alarmed by the sight. instead, he felt an odd sense of calm. “i want to help you, ghostbur. but only if you want me to.”

the king paused to allow ghostbur to speak. he struggled for a moment to gather thoughts, memories–anything that could give more meaning to his words. but he just sighed as his illusory mind slipped him once again.

“i want you to help me, eret,” ghostbur assured, and she smiled at him. “i want to be human again.”

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@vanhakirja@victory-is-here@inkyynki@airiour@sylum@kiritokunuwu@221bee-slytherin@bllatrixcarpnter@soullesstaco@stxrryb1tch@fussylover@keiarma @akaichi-blog @runningoffofcaffeine @nonetookind@aquilla-favonia@feverish-dove@izuruamme@bialin @justachillbisexual @natalie-is-a-wall @confused-soot@boyleanti@nostalgic-writes@ahmya-4@cryinqclouqs @littleliv5 @weeb-bb @truthdaze@dusky-purple-black@sadassflatass@dreamyteam@jaciahbabes@milanienne@sleepingalaska@valoinnit@etheriaaly@miavfx@aikochan4859@spilltheearlgrey@cutiebear45@xxtwizztedxx@eko-ore@lovelybutunloveableghost@yoshirikuxd@serendipityryn@lucian-kinnder@beaniedoodz@creatorofstars@snuffler04@the-sky-writes@whalerus@silverspoonss@londonbrandcandy@augustine-is-joy@lizzybee-tea@wormi@lwhatever@javapeach@y-napotat@keeij@queerentj@sol-salamander@404reads@abuliawrites @brookannekarlee @the-crystalsara @strawberryluvu @bbigbbrainn@pog-sad-muffin@spac3goblyn@dianaswanda@boiled-onionrings@ray-rook@curlycarley@sleepycreampuff@givemeattentionnow@aremie@ozdramaqueen@queenofwordsandnerds@no-name-no-business@p0g-thru-le-pain@rubberduckyqueen@fxnxtical@peezbabey@minkuro@chibicherries@pogbitch@calumspupils@ghostburlovebot@goopst@my-name-is-milk@orkwardx0@rk969@dreamerwasfound@can-i-be-your-blue@coffe-bubz@uwucorpse@flirtyhyuck@blankettothemarket@parosuki@otterly-fey@alex-the-fire-fist@facelessmatchstick@monkeydoll5@blue-ishgrey @sirensong53 @doodszs @roayyk @moonamor@arson-the-royal@uwak-uwak-uwak-uwak@victreu@fraeppuccino@aikos-page@lightninginab0ttle@lol123456798@askgeoff@awkward-youtube-trash@syrneo@averyisbackinthetrashcan@scarletpines@suranne-doesstuff@the-quiet-whispers-hunter@ultimatedreamsimp@busyfangirling12@confusedturtle @airlesselements @thenaverse @spilled-mi1k @udontneedtokno @beeissdead 

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series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.

chapter summary you finally leave the nether after a grueling, emotional trip. meanwhile, tommy finds an old message meant for technoblade. quackity contemplates the burdens of his present while you are reunited with surprising allies.

warnings swearing, mentions of suicide and violence, severe angst on multiple accounts

a/n it’s finally here, and hopefully a quick update to follow !

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gif cred belongs to @ana-tase​

there were many reasons you hated the nether. there were the countless near death experiences, the difficulty to obtain even the fewest of materials, the ruthless terrain, and, of course, the less than sympathetic inhabitants. but all of those reasons flew from your mind as you remembered how much you hated building portals.

you hadn’t truly acknowledged it until you were laying the third piece of obsidian. it was an unforgiving material; too tough to mine without diamond, but two weak to withstand dynamite. and overall, too heavy for one woman to carry back and forth.

when you trekked back over to the piglins you were trading with, you spoke in greek, “how much extra gold would it require for you few to help me?” it only took two more trips after that.

you thanked the piglins for their help and generosity, offering them an additional few gold bars to blow up the portal soon after you were gone. they assured you were welcome back any time before heading back to their village. you were rummaging through your bag for your flint and steel when a grunt sounded behind you. you turned to see the same messenger piglin who had delivered you a note just a few weeks before. he presented another carefully wrapped parchment to you.

“for technoblade,” was all he said to you, his voice a quiet rumble. you accepted the letter and placed it carefully into your bag. he nodded to you before joining his brethren again.

after watching the piglins disappear from your view you knelt by the new portal, striking the flint and steel hard over the base. it immediately sent a few sparks over the dark stone, and you leaned back as a purple haze slowly began to draw together from the obsidian. you made one more strike for good measure, and after a moment the familiar whispers of the portal filled your ears. the pull from it wasn’t nearly as strong as l’manburg’s.

you stood up tall and reached out one hand, summoning your trident back to your side. after the cool steel of it met your warm skin, you let out a breath and hopped into the portal. you landed strongly on the other side amongst a birch tree forest. you stood straight and looked about for any significant landmark; there was none to be found.

for the first time in a long time, you had no idea where you were. and it exhilarated you.

…

writing was nearly an impossible feat when the voices were restless. technoblade truly had no idea what triggered them that day, but once he had sat down to write an entry in his journal he realized how overpowering they were in the silence of his study.

‘we haven’t done enough today.’ ‘let’s go cook for phil.’ ‘is y/n okay right now?’ ‘we should really go harvest the potatoes before some of them start poisoning.’ ‘should we make sure tommy isn’t killing himself?’ ‘it’s alright, we can trust him with that sword. i think.’ ‘i wonder if y/n’s out of the nether yet.’ ‘we would’ve known if l’manburg got her.. right?’ ‘i don’t know, quackity’s crazy these days.’ ‘but is he crazy for her?’

“do you ever shut the hell up?” he grumbled to himself as his thoughts continued to swirl, rubbing a hand to his forehead in an attempt to calm the incessant aching that the voices brought.

“no, i don’t.”

technoblade’s head snapped up quickly to see it was just tommy standing in the doorway to his study. the boy shrugged, “sorry. voices?”

“yeah,” technoblade huffed out, leaning back in his chair. tommy perched himself on a nearby chest. “just won’t stop.” the boy nodded, as if he had any clue what his brother went through.

tommy thought for a moment before speaking, “i don’t remember.. too much of your experience of the voices when we were younger. but distracting helped, right?”

the hybrid shifted his eyes over to the younger boy, considering. “sometimes, i guess.”

“great, ‘cause i have something for you,” tommy hummed, reaching into his pocket for a gently rolled scroll. he stood and presented it to technoblade. “it’s from y/n; she sent it with me when i first started heading here, but i just now remembered it when i was finishing unpacking my bag.”

technoblade took the scroll with a heightened heart rate. “you never fully unpacked your bag?”

tommy shrugged. “i think i’ve finally started accepting im going to be here longer than i want.” he quirked a brow at him. “n-not because of you or anything! just because, you know, i’d rather be in neutral.”

“we all would rather be in neutral,” techno grumbled, smoothing his fingers over the ribbon tying the parchment together. he didn’t want to open it yet, not until he was alone. “finally accepted that it’s gone?”

“yeah,” tommy sighed, tucking his hands in his pockets. “i think so. but also, it’s not really gone. not when y/n’s still around.” technoblade just shifted his gaze as him and the voices considered the wise words. “but.. whatever. im headed to phil’s to make dinner. see you there?”

technoblade quickly snapped back to the moment. “yeah, yeah. i’ll catch up in a few.”

“cool,” tommy nodded, finally heading out of the office. when the door was closed again, technoblade considered tommy’s maturity for just a moment. he didn’t know if it upset him or not, seeing how his little brother had grown into something more than a jokester. it was as if tommy had found a balance in the two personalities, and he didn’t know whether to attribute that to y/n or growing into both of his brother’s influences. he figured it was probably a mix.

he didn’t dwell on it too long; he switched his attention to the parchment. he finally and carefully untied the ribbon holding it closed. it smoothly rolled out to reveal the blessed sight of y/n’s careful handwriting. just the sight of it brought the voices down to a whisper.

‘dear technoblade,
you’ve told me many times that history repeats itself and that such repeats may find me, no matter where i reside. i hate how scarily accurate you can be sometimes.
homebound again, but at the direction of dream. i don’t know if the communicators pick up on the device that he strapped to me, but if so, im sure i won’t be alone for long. just, please, try to find me as soon as you can.
i remember vividly that the first time this happened to me (which depresses me to remind that this is the second), one of my repetitive thoughts was ‘i know technoblade wouldn’t have done this to me.’ i’m starting to think that way again.
what a bitter thought.
as always, y/n’

his heart was racing by the end of the letter. it ached for y/n, and yet it burned with the implications of her thoughts for him. technoblade hated remembering the war more than anything; it only stirred unpleasant memories. but whenever it addressed her understandably torn feelings along with his undeniable ones, he yearned for a time where things were simpler.

he was lost in his thoughts for a few moments, wondering how often she thought of him during the war. he looked over the writing once more, reminding himself it was written before he saw her last. additionally, he reminded himself the war was two years past before the voices grew loud again.

‘i hope she’s okay.’ ‘she’ll find her way to us eventually.’ ‘im kinda hungry.’ ‘i hope she thinks about us a lot.’ ‘definitely not as much as we think about her, though.’ ‘tommy’s probably waiting.’ ‘waiting sucks.’

“alright, shut up,” technoblade grumbled to himself. he slid y/n’s letter into his journal before standing up. he spoke aloud, “she’ll be here soon.” but he didn’t know if the words were to reassure the voices or himself.

…

quackity found himself getting home later and later every evening. he had told sapnap and karl to stop waiting up for him when it got past ten at night, but he still came home disappointed that they had followed his word.

despite his disappointment, he still took off his armor as quietly as he could. removing the iron armor that was customary for day-to-day in l’manburg was a weight off of his shoulders, but it didn’t at all lighten to the weight upon his chest. he leaned his sword against the couch as he rested his head in his hands.

the search was exhausting for everyone. nearly everyone had made it back, but the only luck was with fundy. and even then, there was no lead on that front. quackity was getting restless.

he prayed y/n was alright. though the stress was insane, above all else he hoped she was safe. 

quackity wasn’t around for the war. but after hearing the stories from fundy and the general gossip, it just gave him another reason to despise dream. he really hoped dream had nothing to do with what happened to neutral.

he had considered that possibility; that the reason dream was so quick to bother l’manburg for information and to pull a sword on fundy was because y/n had been running not from neutral, but from him. though it was a nightmare scenario, quackity secretly hoped it was true. just for another reason to get dream.

he thought about y/n for another minute, about her dazzling smile and motherly personality that had entranced him from the day they met. he missed everything about her dearly. being vice president was too busy of a job; he wished he had gotten to experience neutral one last time before it was gone. but as far as he knew, y/n was still alive. he held onto that hope of seeing her again.

quackity did his best to rid himself of those thoughts as he headed toward the bedroom he shared with his fiancés. when he creaked the door open, he saw they were already curled into each other under the plush blankets of the queen bed, snoring and asleep. though the sight was pure in and of itself, it pained quackity’s heart to see them sleeping so peacefully without him. he frowned as he closed the door again, heading back to the couch.

he laid down and flicked off the lamp, pulling an old quilt over his body. the house was uncomfortably silent in the night, and his stressed thoughts returned to fill the void and distract his ever-aching chest.

quackity sighed to himself once more. he really wished his fiancés had waited for him.

…

using your compass, you trekked north for three days straight. despite the harshness of the return, it felt good to be a nomad again. after the first day, you came across a village that felt familiar to you and a kind, recognizable woman pointed you in the right direction of the tundra after providing a nice meal. it was a welcome comfort after the harshness of the nether.

your trident was in one hand, your compass in the other as you continued on. you were amongst an oak forest, embracing the breeze that swept through the trees, cooling the sunshine that fell upon you through the branches. you felt totally at ease, allowing your mind to absorb your surroundings rather than return to your stressed thoughts.

until you heard the voices.

you immediately tucked yourself behind a tree, slipping your compass in your bag. the voices were distant but, with no other sound around, the mutters were obvious. you glanced around the wide tree, squinting at the figures you saw in the distance. whoever they were, their identities weren’t obvious to you at first glance. but you could see one was shrouded in black and the other in lighter clothing, and their distant blobs were definitely headed in your direction.

you quickly grabbed two of the sturdier arrows in your quiver, plunging them into the tree you had used for cover and climbing your way up to the high branches. you summoned your trident once you reached them.

you settled on a solid branch hidden amongst the leaves of other trees, peeking through the shroud. their voices were almost clear to you now, and your heart began to hammer with anticipation. it definitely wasn’t dream, but it could’ve very well been l’manburg. your brow furrowed, leaning the slightest bit closer in an attempt to make out the words.

“it’s all about recruitment, punz!” a chipper voice spoke. you pressed a hand to your mouth to suppress a gasp that dared to rise. you could’ve sworn that was.. “the egg thrives on loyalty; the more who can hear it, the more power it gets.”

that solidified it. you let yourself slip to the group, plunging your trident into the grass as your feet planted firmly. the two men who had just passed the tree now turned in surprise. they were both impossibly taller than you, and yet the sight of them was the first comfort you had felt in days.

“oh my goodness- y/n?!” badboyhalo exclaimed, all nine and a half feet of him immediately alight with excitement. punz’s mouth was agape, his axe slipping from his fingers.

“bad!” you squealed out and he scooped you into his arms without hesitation.

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@vanhakirja@victory-is-here@inkyynki@airiour@sylum@kiritokunuwu@221bee-slytherin@bllatrixcarpnter@soullesstaco@stxrryb1tch@fussylover@keiarma@akaichi-blog@runningoffofcaffeine@nonetookind@aquilla-favonia@feverish-dove@izuruamme@bialin @justachillbisexual @natalie-is-a-wall @confused-soot@boyleanti@nostalgic-writes@ahmya-4@cryinqclouqs @littleliv5 @weeb-bb @truthdaze@dusky-purple-black@sadassflatass@dreamyteam@jaciahbabes@milanienne@sleepingalaska@valoinnit@etheriaaly@miavfx@aikochan4859@spilltheearlgrey@cutiebear45@xxtwizztedxx@eko-ore@lovelybutunloveableghost@yoshirikuxd@serendipityryn@lucian-kinnder@beaniedoodz@creatorofstars@snuffler04@the-sky-writes@whalerus@silverspoonss@londonbrandcandy@augustine-is-joy@lizzybee-tea@wormi@lwhatever@javapeach@y-napotat@keeij@queerentj@sol-salamander@404reads@abuliawrites @brookannekarlee @the-crystalsara @strawberryluvu @bbigbbrainn@pog-sad-muffin@spac3goblyn@dianaswanda@boiled-onionrings@ray-rook@curlycarley@sleepycreampuff@givemeattentionnow@aremie@ozdramaqueen@queenofwordsandnerds@no-name-no-business@p0g-thru-le-pain@rubberduckyqueen@fxnxtical@peezbabey@minkuro@chibicherries@pogbitch@calumspupils@ghostburlovebot@goopst@my-name-is-milk@orkwardx0@rk969@dreamerwasfound@can-i-be-your-blue@coffe-bubz@uwucorpse@flirtyhyuck@blankettothemarket@parosuki@otterly-fey@alex-the-fire-fist@facelessmatchstick@monkeydoll5@blue-ishgrey@sirensong53@doodszs@roayyk@moonamor@arson-the-royal@uwak-uwak-uwak-uwak@victreu@fraeppuccino@aikos-page@lightninginab0ttle@lol123456798@askgeoff@awkward-youtube-trash@syrneo@averyisbackinthetrashcan@scarletpines@suranne-doesstuff@the-quiet-whispers-hunter @ultimatedreamsimp@busyfangirling12@confusedturtle@airlesselements

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summary (they/them) tis the season to be in love! and ‘tis the season to have an excuse to kiss your mcyt lover, with the help of a poisonous garland.. (includes dream, george, sapnap, karl, quackity, bbh, c!technoblade, wilbur, punz, fundy, and eret)

warnings swearing, lots of kissing, maybe some suggestive themes? maybe

a/n merry very belated christmas, hannukah, kwanza and boxing day to those who celebrate! have a late fic for your winter fic needs, and have a happy new year my loves <3

hcs = headcanons btw,, this is my first try at this format so let me know if it’s alright!!

gif cred belongs to @anigifs18​

dream
+ this man definitely put mistletoe somewhere in his gaming room the second it hit december
+ just for the excuse to kiss you all month
+ he doesn’t have all the time in the world despite the holiday season
+ so it was just a gesture to show some romance every time you visit his workspace
+ he also just likes the opportunity to give you that shit-eating grin every time you enter his office

“come in!” dream called out when he heard you knock at his door, making sure he was muted from the call with his friends.

“streaming?” you questioned quietly, peeking your head into the room. he turned his chair to you as he slung his headphones around his neck.

“nah,” he shook his head. “sap is, but i’m muted.” you smiled, opening the door further to slip in. “what’s up, babe?”

“brought some snacks,” you smiled, holding up a plate in one of your hands. “and water, ‘cause god knows you’re not drinking that.”

he chuckled with a grin. “thank you, babe. you’re very thoughtful.” you just hummed, placing the items onto his desk. “you know what that deserves?”

you arched an eyebrow at him as he leaned back in his gaming chair, a familiar mischievous smirk on his face. “what?” he pointed above him and you let out a laugh at the sight of the mistletoe just above his chair. “wow.” he just chuckled as you looked back down at him. “now i have to kiss you every time i come in here?”

“yep,” he hummed sweetly. “if you don’t, santa takes away one gift, you know.”

you let out another laugh. “is that so?” he nodded confidently, his leg bouncing his chair back and forth as he smirked at you. “you’re ridiculous, clay.”

“i know,” he chuckled as you finally leaned down to kiss your boyfriend. he hummed into it as you cupped his face in your hands. you nearly yelped when he pulled you onto his lap, deepening what was supposed to be an innocent kiss even further.

you two would have continued for as long as you liked had it not been for his friends beginning to scream for him, loud enough that it could be heard from the headphones around his neck. he groaned when you pulled away from him.

“i hate them.”

“go save those boys,” you snickered, lifting yourself from his lap.

he grumbled as he slipped his headphones back onto his ears, calling to you before you could close his door, “you better come see me again.”

george
+ it would have to be your doing
+ that man would be too embarrassed at just the THOUGHT of hanging it up
+ so you just strung it somewhere obvious, in a doorway somewhere
+ he notices it right away but he gets all nervous and blushy
+ you’ll have to nudge him to get him to actually kiss you
+ that poor boy is too embarrassed by the littlest things

george checked his phone briefly when he came to a stopping point in his editing, smiling when he saw you sent him a text not too long ago proclaiming you had made lunch. he happily shot you a text back saying he was making his way, standing from his chair and relishing in the moment he got to stretch his legs.

he heard your humming and smiled, heading straight for the kitchen. but when he reached the doorway, a bright green and red mistletoe stuck out from the white frame. he felt himself immediately turn red, seeing you were just inside the kitchen, cleaning up from making lunch.

“hey love,” you smiled. “hungry?”

“yeah, uh..,” he coughed. “did you.. put this here?” you looked up curiously, greeted with the sight of your red-faced boyfriend staring at the garland.

“oh, yeah,” you smiled. “i was finishing up decorating and found it.”

he nodded, eyes still glued to it. “well, then..” his eyes turned to where you smiled, resting your head in your hand. he looked at you like he was expecting you to know what his staying meant, and you did, but you wanted to hear him say it out loud.

“what is it?” you encouraged with a hum.

“well, i-it’s mistletoe,” your boyfriend spoke, gesturing to the plant. he let out an awkward laugh, “aren’t we gonna..?” he scoffed at your mischievous grin. “god, you just love to embarrass me!”

“i do,” you admitted. “do you want a kiss, george?”

“shut- don’t say it like that!” you laughed out again at his red face, walking over to him finally. “god, you’re going to be the death of me.”

“a pleasant way to die,” you smiled, taking his face into your hands. he rolled his eyes, though he was now smiling at you, too. you placed a sweet kiss to his lips that he quickly reciprocated, despite his former embarrassment.

“im keeping it up.”

“please don’t.”

sapnap
+ he’s such a little shit about it
+ for NO reason
+ he knows he can kiss you any time, any place
+ but the second there’s mistletoe around he gets a stupid smile
+ he’s all like “ohh y/n~~”
+ you’re like motherfucker just kiss me already
+ probably makes you kiss him first
+ for extra little shit points

“hmm, i wonder where this came from..”

“what’s that sap?” you hum, stepping away from the kitchen to see what he was muttering about. his wide, contagious grin brought a smile to your own face, though you knew nothing good could come from it.

“did you put this up, babe?” sapnap questioned, pointing at the mistletoe he had stationed himself under.

you crossed your arms, leaning in the kitchen doorway. “i didn’t, actually.” your boyfriend just hummed. “did you?”

“oh, no, i didn’t,” he shrugged, his tone a miserable attempt at innocence. “weird.”

“very,” you mused. you almost giggled aloud when your boyfriend looked over at you, eyes expectant and mischievous. “well, then you can take down the mystery mistletoe while i finish dinner.” you saw his expression drop for a moment when you barely turned toward the kitchen.

“what? no- you’re not even gonna kiss me?”

you giggled at your boyfriend’s pout, finally stepping forward and under the mistletoe. “you’re such a sap.”

“it’s in the name, babe,” he replied, his grin immediately returning as your hands slipped to his shoulders. you rolled your eyes before leaning up to give your boyfriend a sweet kiss that was too brief for his liking, chasing your lips for another when you tried to pull away. after a few giggly kisses, you finally managed to push sapnap away.

“you’ve had your wish,” you laughed. “i gotta finish dinner now.”

“alright, but the mistletoe’s staying!”0

karl
+ this cutie pie
+ loves the idea so much he considers investing in some mistletoe for your first christmas living together
+ too bad you beat him to it :))
+ walks in on you hanging it up and you’re like “!!get out!!”
+ he thinks you’re so adorable

“awww..,” karl cooed when he saw you standing on a step stool, attempting to paste the garland to the entrance of your shared bedroom.

your gaze snapped down to him and you lost your balance for a moment. “no- karl!” you huff with a pout, dropping your arms to your sides. “it was supposed to be a surprise!” the poorly taped mistletoe fell in an instant, tapping you on the head on its way down.

“aw, sweetie, it still is! i still love it,” karl grinned, walking over to wrap his arms around your waist. his head was at your stomach level, but your dramatic pout was still clear. “it definitely surprised me.”

“yeah, yeah,” you whined, lightly hitting his shoulder. “why’d you have to come in?”

he shrugged, “i was wondering where the step stool was..”

“you don’t need the step stool, you giant,” you complained, though you were smiling now. you hit his shoulder again and he let go of you, bending down to pick up the fallen décor. “whatever.. i wouldn’t have gotten it hung up anyway.”

“you tried,” he smiled, sticking the fake plant to your forehead. you grimaced, but it fell just as easily as it did from the ceiling. karl laughed and pressed a kiss to your pouted lips. “i’ll help you hang it up, love.”

“you better give me a proper kiss for my efforts first,” you demanded lightly, bopping your finger on his nose.

“happily,” karl muttered with a grin, leaning up to you a proper pre-mistletoe kiss.

quackity
+ y’all.
+ has anyone ever seen those funny sticks that have mistletoe on the end? that you’re supposed to hold over couples or whatever?
+ he has one.
+ he hangs it over the both of you at any point in the day
+ and he’s always like “oh wow! what are the chances mi amor!”
+ you always kiss him but ohmygosh, he’s a dork

“oh, mi amor..!”

you didn’t have to look up to know quackity was holding that ridiculous stick over your head again. you just sighed, keeping your gaze trained on the essay you were typing rather than your lover’s shit-eating grin in the reflection of you computer. “i hope you know that the more you do this, the less romantic it becomes.”

the shift in reflection only told you that his grin had turned into a pout. “don’t say that! mistletoe is magical, babe, the romance never dies!”

you couldn’t help but smile at quackity’s dramatics. “you’re a desperate man, aren’t you?”

“desperate for your love,” he admitted shamelessly, leaning against the side of your desk with a cheesy grin. you just shook your head distractedly as you continued typing, trying your best to resume your previous frame of thought.

“you’re not gonna go away until you get a kiss, are you?” you hummed as you typed.

“nope,” your boyfriend affirmed. you sighed to yourself, thinking, ‘better make it count.’

when you finished the sentence you were typing, you quickly stood and turned to your boyfriend, tugging him by the shirt. he yelped quietly, but was quickly silenced by his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was far more ferocious than he had anticipated.

your lips were hot and quick moving against his, and he dropped the stupid stick of mistletoe to catch up with your sudden passion. by the end of the kiss, quackity had you trapped against your desk with your hands still gripping his t-shirt tightly.

“woah,” your boyfriend breathed, eyes blown wide with surprise. you could feel his breathing was slightly labored, tickling your cheeks as you just smiled at him. “and you said the romance was fading!”

badboyhalo
+ he doesn’t plan it, but BOY has he dreamt about it
+ nothing can convince me that bad isn’t a hopeless romantic
+ he’s definitely thought of that sweet, magical mistletoe kiss that you tell your kids about when the holidays come around
+ but he’s a shy boy when it comes to romance, so most of his fantasies stay fantasies
+ you guys do get your mistletoe kiss!! it’s just a lot less perfect than either of you imagined
+ but in a way, doesn’t that make it even more magical?

“stop laughing!”

“i’m not laughing!” you assured to bad, though a giggle laced your words. you held your hand out to him as he planted his skates back on the ice. “you’re learning! i’m not laughing at you.”

once he was uprighted, bad huffed out a cloud of cold air in your direction. you yelped, giggling again when he pressed a kiss to your cold nose.

“let’s take a break,” he grumbled, tugging your hand toward the exit of the ice. “i want hot chocolate.”

“okay, okay,” you giggled, gripping onto your boyfriend’s strong forearm. he smiled as you gently guided the two of you over. “you’re not awful for a beginner, bad.”

he grumbled again, “yeah, yeah..” he couldn’t help but smile when you rested your head against his arm, but he continued to grieve, “keep rubbing in my face how you’ve skated since you were a kid, yeah, that feels great.” he just laughed out when you lifted your head and whacked your gloved hand against his arm.

you helped him slow to a stop as you approached the exit. “you got it?” you hummed when he grasped the railing next to the exit, helping stop his motion before he attempted to step off.

“yes,” he assured. “but thank you, muffin.” you smiled at the endearing nickname as you used the railing to slow yourself to a stop. 

“oh, bad, look!” you suddenly exclaimed, drawing his attention away from the shaking of his skates. you pointed to the entranceway/exit, which had a small bough of mistletoe dangling from it. “mistletoe.”

he could admit his heart warmed at the sight, his boyish fantasies of the perfect mistletoe kiss with you flooding his mind at once. “aww,” he smiled. he stabilized himself before lifting one hand from the railing, albeit a little shaky and awkwardly. “shall we?”

you giggled at your adorable boyfriend. you took his hand, using it to skate you closer to him. “we shall.” he smiled sweetly at you again before pulling you in a gentle, long kiss that made you forget about the cold that surrounded you. bad took his other hand off of the railing to place on your arm, and that’s when it went wrong.

bad immediately lost his balance, slipping backward and taking you down with him. you landed on top of him with a yelp and bad cringed at his own clumsiness. but just when he was going to apologize out of sheer embarrassment, you started to giggle. not at him; he could tell from the genuine sound that you were giggling at the situation rather than the culprit.

his face, already warm from embarrassment, grew even hotter when you only spoke, “god, i love you, bad.”

c!technoblade
+ this man could not give less of a fuck
+ you probably point out some mistletoe and he’s like. okay
+ sometimes on the inside he’ll be a little blushy about it
+ the idea of having a perfect moment to kiss you is so incredibly tempting, like the perfect opportunity to FINALLY make a move
+ so after finally happening across some, he might just take the chance to kiss you
+ maybe. it’d take a lot of sudden confidence from him

“aw, look,” you hummed. technoblade’s gaze turned to you as you both continued your trek through the snow. “two zombies under some mistletoe.” you were pointing to the entrance of a cave, where two zombies were glaring out at your figures.

“romantic,” technoblade muttered, looking to the long vine of poisonous garland that encased the entrance to the cave. “god, that shit’s everywhere..”

you nodded in agreement, looking back to the path ahead of you toward technoblade’s house. “well, it’s winter in the tundra. that just means more snow and a whole lot of mistletoe.”

“alright, dr. seuss,” he snickered. you just shook your head at him.

“rhyming or not, im right,” you smiled, looking up at another entanglement of the garland in one of the tall trees. he took a moment to admire the way the snow reflected off the overcast skies, giving you a glow that was all too familiar to him. yet it still made his chest grow warm. “have you ever had a mistletoe kiss, tech?”

he raised his eyebrow at the question, but you were still looking into the trees. “no.. but i did slap wilbur under some once.”

you immediately laughed out, turning to him with a grin. “no way.”

“listen, he puckered up and i was not about to kiss him,” he explained, holding his hands up in mock surrender. you just laughed again. he smiled at you before looking ahead, seeing his house was just around the corner of some trees now. “why do you ask?”

you shrugged. “you’ve lived in the tundra long enough; i figured you’d have a fun story.” you turned the corner to his house. “and you did.”

“i always pull through,” he shrugged in response, making you chuckle as you both stepped onto his porch. he moved to get the door for you, but he stopped when you looked around and your gaze caught on something above the two of you.

a patch of mistletoe had made its way to his porch, snaking in from a nearby tree. his heart nearly stopped, the voices that had been whispering about mistletoe now starting to yell at him as his gaze flickered between you and the vine.

‘kiss her.’ ‘KISS HER.’ ‘gods, please kiss her!’

then you turned to him with a gentle smile and a tilt of your head. “you gonna slap me?” god, he prayed he wasn’t imagining the newfound flush that creeped up your neck.

though he smirked amusedly, he spoke softer than he had intended, “no. i wouldn’t do that to you.” you just continued to look into his eyes, your smile growing at his words. the voices continued to swirl encouragements before he finally leaned toward you, taking your cheek into his hand and leaning down to press his cold lips to yours.

his heart hammered for a moment before you began to kiss him back, placing one of your gloved hands on his chest. it was a short kiss, way shorter than he would have liked, but it was enough to silence the voices to a hush when he pulled away as he awaited you to speak. but you just smiled sheepishly at him.

technoblade smirked with satisfaction as his hand fell from your cheek. he finally opened the door for you, muttering, “way better than that time with wilbur.”

wilbur
+ there’s two ways this starts
+ either 1. he sets the mistletoe up himself and plans the perfect moment
+ or 2. you two happen across some and he still becomes the most smug romantic motherfucker u know
+ either way he’s gonna be smug and proud of himself
+ he just loves you a lot and mistletoe is a PERFECT excuse to make a lasting memory for the both of you

“let’s grab some hot chocolate,” wilbur suggested when you shivered against him again. despite being completely bundled up, nothing truly protected you from the bitter cold of england’s winter.

“yes, please,” you immediately agreed, and wilbur snickered at your eagerness. he pressed a quick kiss to your nose before guiding you toward a small café.

there was a line when you entered, but the air was so warm in contrast to the snowy streets that neither of you minded. you cuddled into your boyfriend’s side as he hummed along to some holiday song that softly played in the shop.

his gaze wandered around the small building, stopping when he saw some mistletoe. it was just a pace or two away, further up in the line. the cogs in his brain immediately began to turn, devising the perfect way to kiss you as the line moved another step.

“what are you thinking about, wil?” you hummed contentedly, seeing your boyfriend spacing out. wilbur just looked down at you with a grin. the line moved another step forward.

“nothing, love,” he smiled, guiding you to step forward with him. “but..” you looked up at him expectantly. “i do believe you owe me something.”

you thought for a moment. “is it my turn to buy?”

“no,” he chuckled. he took your chin into his hand and tilted your head up to catch sight of the mistletoe hung above you amongst other decorations. you just shook your head at him with a chuckle.

“that’s an easy price to pay,” you ceded. you were going to lean up for a simple peck when wilbur’s hand snaked around to rest on your back, quickly maneuvering your body around to dip you dramatically. you could feel his grin as he pressed a long, deep kiss to your lips. you lost yourself in the passion for just a moment before remembering where the two of you were.

you smacked his chest when he finally pulled away, uprighting the two of you again. “wilbur soot, we are in public!” you hissed quietly, looking around to see some of the other patrons of the café smiling and shaking their heads at your pair.

“my love for you is not confined by societal standards,” he proclaimed, placing a hand on his heart as he grinned at your flushing features. his heart was racing in his chest still, but your embarrassed, lovesick look was worth the anxiety. you pressed your hands to your hot cheeks.

“you are suddenly my least favorite poet-!”

punz
+ definitely didn’t plan it
+ let’s face it, he probably didn’t even think about it
+ but when the opportunity is presented, who is he to pass it up??
+ definitely gets smug and teases you
+ also like sapnap, probably waits for you to kiss him first

“very funny,” you teased after your boyfriend threw some off handed comment your way. he snickered, opening the door to the diner for you anyway.

you leaned against him after he stepped in, waiting for the hostess to have a free moment to get you a table. he mumbled another tease to you and you just shook your head, whacking his arm lazily. he just chuckled, leaning over to press a kiss in your hair as his arm wrapped around your shoulders and tugged you closer to him.

as you smiled, you heard some giggles sound nearby. when you looked over to see a small group of teenage girls sat, looking over at you and punz and whispering. at first, you assumed they were fans, until you noted their gazes flickered above the two of you.

you looked up, gaining punz’s attention when you lifted your head from his shoulder. he looked with you and let out a short laugh at the sight of a hefty bunch of mistletoe perched above the two of you.

“so, you gonna kiss me?” punz hummed, turning his gaze back to you as you were still staring at the plant.

“no, you’re gonna kiss me,” you shrugged surely.

“i am?” he responded, smirking down at you. despite his continued teasing, his eyes were now flickering from your gaze to your lips.

“yeah,” you smiled. “because you’re taller and closer to the mistletoe. so you gotta kiss me first.”

“oh, is that how it works?” your boyfriend teased, his voice a low rumble. you hummed to confirm and he let out one last snicker before pressing his lips to yours. you placed a hand on his cheek to relish in the sweet moment before pulling away, mainly for the sake of the patrons of the restaurant.

you tucked your head back into your boyfriend’s side contentedly, listening to the teenage girls swoon and coo at the both of you.

fundy
+ he would be such a shy boy around his s/o i love him
+ it would be another situation where you two were out and about and stumbled across some mistletoe
+ he would notice it but wouldn’t point it out right away
+ i assume he’s very shy about pda so he’s DEFINITELY not gonna initiate
+ definitely already blushing
+ you’ll have to notice it for him to finally kiss you

fundy was usually a very active listener; he’d make small noises and comments as you told stories, which you often tended to ramble on as you two shopped. but now, as you wandered about the toy aisle, chattering on about what to get your nephew, your lover was silent.

“you’re unusually quiet,” you commented after another few minutes of fundy’s silence. you looked over to see his face was red, but not the kind of red that came from the cold. instead, the red creeped up from his neck to lick at his cheeks. “you alright, love?”

“y-yeah!” he assured, rubbing a sheepish hand to the back of his neck. “yeah.”

“you sure?” you prodded, placing your hand on his elbow. he gave you a sweet smile, though he was still tense under your gaze and touch.

“im alright,” he nodded. fundy held your gaze for another moment before moving again, busying himself by looking at some legos behind you. you pursed your lips in thought for a moment, looking around to see what could have flustered your boyfriend. you connected the dots immediately when you spotted the mistletoe just overhead.

you smiled to yourself, glancing around briefly to make sure no one else was around to save your boyfriend from further embarrassment.

“hey, floris, can i get your opinion on this?” you hummed as innocently as you could. your puppy of a boyfriend immediately trotted over.

“what is it, love?”

“just this,” you hummed, taking his cheek into your hand and pressing a short kiss to his lips. the blush immediately returned to his face as you smiled at him. “don’t like mistletoe?”

it took him a second to process, stuttering, “n-no, i do! i definitely do, just..” he absentmindedly took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together clumsily. he shrugged, avoiding your gaze for a moment. “didn’t know if you did.”

“i do,” you assured, squeezing his hand. he finally broke into an eased smile. “let’s keep looking.” you tugged his hand to pull him to the next aisle, but fundy didn’t budge. when you turned back to him, you didn’t get a chance to question him before his other hand snuck onto your cheek and he pressed a harder, more confident kiss to your lips that you happily reciprocated.

when he pulled away, you gave him a knowing look. he began to splutter again, rambling out, “i-i thought you deserved a proper mistletoe kiss!”

“you’re adorable, my love.”

eret
+ she’s been awaiting all YEAR for this moment
+ they just love the idea of a romantic, show-stopping mistletoe kiss
+ definitely put the mistletoe up themself
+ probably also made you two a romantic date night, complete with a reservation to a nice restaurant and an ice skating date
+ he wants everything to be perfect, but because he’s so confident in the fact that you’ll make anything perfect, it literally becomes the most romantic evening ever

“we’re never going ice skating again,” you giggled, clinging to your lover’s arm as you walked back to your apartment.

“what!” she exclaimed as you continued to giggle. “why not, love? i thought it was fun!”

“it was,” you assured. “but you’re too good at it; it made me feel worse when i fell the seven times i did.”

eret hummed, “oh, love..” they removed their arm from your grasp to wrap it around your shoulders. “your falling was adorable.”

“falling? adorable?” you sounded incredulously, and he laughed after hearing the words repeated back to him. “you’re insane.”

he shook his head, retracting his arm to retrieve his keys from his pocket as you approached your doorstep. “maybe i just think you’readorable.”

you shook your head at her. “you’re insane.” as she unlocked the door with another chuckle, you shifted your gaze around amusedly. your curious eyes stopped when they found something of interest above you. “oh, hey..” she turned to you curiously and you pointed. “mistletoe.”

they turned their gaze above and smiled at the small plant. “so it is.” they tucked the key back into their pocket and turned to you. they raised their eyebrows, tilting their head teasingly. “guess you gotta kiss me.”

“i guess i do,” you hummed, mimicking their teasing actions. he chuckled at you, sliding one hand into your hair as you placed a hand on his chest, meeting in a perfectly warm kiss that contrasted the cold californian air.

after that passionate moment, you pulled away to grin at your lover. she chuckled, pressing her fingers to her lips to relish the moment before opening the door to the apartment. “totally worth nearly falling off the ladder earlier.”

“wha- alastair!”

hello hello i was thinking about writing oneshots along with the smau,,bUt since i have no creativity pls send in some requests✨ i’d also write for the dream smp members in-game and irl (platonic only for the minors!! and no nsfw for those who are uncomfortable with it!!)