we don’t talk about dream (dream x reader)

summary (slight!au for convenience, really) tommy grew up in fear of the man he never truly knew. but as he grew older and old secrets come into light during the development of l’manburg, tommy searches for answers about the name that many no longer say.

warning swearing, mentions of murder

a/n yes, this was totally to feed my simultaneous dream smp and encanto addictions. no further questions (it’s got a slow start but i promise it gets better!!!!)

gif cred belongs to @calamardo-sad

“send tommy to the basement, they said,” tommy mimicked, his voice high pitched in his muttering despite mocking his father’s words. he opened the loud door to the basement of his childhood home. “he can find it, they said.” he huffed out, flicking at the light switch. nothing happened. he flickered at it a few more times before groaning out. “you’re fucking kidding.”

he rubbed a hand down his face as he stared into the darkness of the basement, the wooden stairs the only thing visible to him at that angle. still, his chest filled with childish fear.

tommy sighed. “stupid technoblade and his stupid birthday..” he began down the stairs, still rambling angrily to himself. “why would he want to look through that stupid journal anyway? he probably couldn’t understand anything that’s written in there anyway..” he groaned again at the sea of boxes awaiting him. “im the best fucking brother ever for this.”

he weaved through the dusty boxes, squinting at the old sharpie to make out what was written on them while muttering about how wilbur owed him. it took him ten minutes before he finally made out a faint ‘technoblade’ on a pile of boxes. he sighed again heavily, dropping to his knees and getting to the real search.

it would have been a nice, nostalgic feeling going through them had it not been for the layers of dust that kicked into his face at every other thing he pulled out of the boxes. finally, after sneezing and coughing more than he had in his entire life, tommy found a box of old books and journals.

he grabbed out the journals–three small books with a child’s shorthand proclaiming ‘techno’ on the front of it. tommy smiled slightly, feeling a small weight lift off his shoulders. he was about to open one, take a look at young technoblade’s thoughts, when he heard something fall behind him.

his head immediately snapped over, eyes drawn to a shining object that caught the slight glint of light in the dark basement. he tucked the journals under his arm and cautiously headed over to the object.

kneeling down by it, tommy realized it was an old disc peeking out of its cover. he slipped it back in before picking up the casing. he nearly dropped it again when he saw what was written on.

‘FROM DREAM’

growing up, dream was a household name for tommy. from his brother’s scheming of rising up and breaking dream’s tyrannical foundation, to the fight for l’manburg itself, tommy grew to live in fear of the man he had only met twice; once, he was too young to remember, and again when the man threatened his life on his own doorstep. and yet, that was still years ago.

so why was a disc with his name on it in their basement?

tommy held it up to the light more, blood rushing loudly in his ears. when he saw what else was written, he actually did drop the disc, yelping as though it had burned him.

‘TO TOMMY’

tommy knelt down slowly, his breathing suddenly heavy with the fear that filled his chest. his hands were shaking as he went to grasp the disc, seeing it was anything like those he had collected. maybe it was one he had stolen from him.

but when he went to pull the disc from its casing, only a portion of it came out. tommy shook the case, and the rest of the broken pieces scattered onto the floor; at least eight different portions of the disc from a man who almost killed his entire family and country.

“shit.”

…

tommy sighed at the laid out pieces of the broken disc. “why is this here for me, dream?”

the loud creak of the front door opening made tommy flinch, quickly wheeling around and brushing the broken pieces further behind his back. karl stood in the doorway, looking curiously over at tommy with a box in hand.

“karl!” tommy exclaimed breathlessly. “jesus, man, you scared me.”

“sorry, sorry,” the man shrugged with a huff. “i was dropping off some things for philza when i, uh..” he placed down the box and looked over at tommy again. “heard the name we don’t speak.”

right. tommy had forgotten about the country’s superstition; never say dream’s name, for he has ears everywhere.

“right, uh, sorry,” tommy coughed. karl just turned away, probably going to get another box from outside. “but..” the brunette turned to him again. “if there were to be anything said about dream..”

“we don’t talk about dream,” karl reiterated, holding up his hands to stop tommy from pressing the topic. he already seemed stressed at just the thought of the man. 

“but-”

“tommy, i would drop it,” he shook his head, eyes shifting out the doorway.

tommy couldn’t help it–if anyone were to know anything, it would be karl. that guy seemed to have limitless information at his disposal. “but say that, in theory, d- he,” karl raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, “was out for you.. what would he do?”

before karl even had the chance to try to lecture him, sapnap burst through the door, another box in hand. “he was nightmare!”

“sap!” karl pleaded, tugging at his arm after he placed the box down.

“karl, he deserves to know,” sapnap brushed, beginning toward tommy. “he would make terrible promises, manipulate you until you didn’t know what was true, and then BOOM!” tommy flinched when sapnap lurched suddenly toward his face. “and there was nothing you could do.”

“sapnap, please!”

“what if you didn’t know whether or not he was coming after you?” tommy rushed out. “what would you do if you didn’t know where you stood with him?”

“well, you’d better figure it out,” sapnap warned, shaking his head. “because he was coming for you.” before tommy could ask anything else, karl wedged his way between them and pushed sapnap away.

“we don’t talk about dream!” he proclaimed, loud and adamant. “okay? not since..” karl sighed out. sapnap placed a hand on his husband’s shoulder as his head dropped. there was a moment of tense silence where guilt creeped at tommy’s heart before karl’s bright, passionate eyes turned to him again.

“i’ll talk about him just this once,” karl spoke seriously. “but then never again.” tommy nodded fervently, discreetly sweeping the broken vinyl pieces into one of the set out bowls as sapnap lead his husband to sit down. “it was our wedding day.. we were getting ready when it started raining.”

“it wasn’t ideal, but it was just a little rain,” sapnap cut in. karl sent him a light glare.

“right, we weren’t going to let that ruin our wedding,” karl continued. tommy nodded. he vaguely remembered their wedding; it had only been a few years ago.. but he didn’t remember anything about dream. “then dream happened. all we saw was a lightning strike-”

“the kind that can only happen from a trident summoning it,” sapnap clarified and karl hit his arm.

“are you telling this story, or am i?”

sapnap smiled at his husband, grabbing the hand that just hit him and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. tommy would’ve gagged had he not been so focused on the main point of the story. “im sorry, darlin’. go on.”

karl rolled his eyes with a smile, turning back to tommy. “well, whenever lightnings starts.. it doesn’t stop.” sapnap squeezed his husband’s hand. “one thing lead to another, the weather turned into a full-fledged storm by the time of the reception–practically a hurricane!”

“i do remember that,” tommy nodded. “the wedding moved into your house after that. phil had me and techno move all the tables inside.”

“it was still the most amazing day of our lives,” sapnap reaffirmed. “we didn’t let that idiot ruin it, but.. after that day we started living by the superstition.”

“we don’t talk about dream,” karl spoke as he stood from the table. “so whatever this new curiosity you have, tommy..” him and sapnap looked at him seriously. “i would drop it.”

…

he didn’t drop it.

“well, we all grew up fearing him,” tubbo shook his head. “but even now, he’s everywhere. always mumbling, planning.. i bet he practically lives in l’manburg.”

“you think?” tommy questioned. him, tubbo, and ranboo were sitting on the outskirts of the country, lounging in the shade of a large tree when tommy “casually” brought up the feared man again.

“there’s no way he just left us alone after all that’s happened,” tubbo continued. “it’s been nearly two years since the war ended, but it’s not over. not really. not as long as he’s out there.” tommy and ranboo shared an uneasy look. “i associate him with the sound of the shifting stone. every time we hear that loud shift, president soot always says it’s the wall settling, but i think it’s dream. he’s probably watching us from our very own wall.

“and he scares them all. leaves the president and the entire country fumbling at just the sound of his name. just the idea of him.” tubbo sat up straight. “one day, i’m going to be president. and i’m going to defeat dream once and for all.”

tommy thought for a moment. “why do you think they fear him so much?”

“he’s unpredictable,” tubbo shrugged. “he’s manipulative, he’s crazy.. he’s someone you can’t quite figure out. no one understands.” tubbo brushed some of his hair out of his wide eyes to look clearly at tommy. “do youunderstand?”

…

“he’s seven feet tall,” wilbur spoke ominously but strongly, voice taunting, “weapons strapped along his back..” he circled his younger brother like a vulture and tommy found himself wishing he had never come to visit. “remember that day, all those years ago, when he came to visit?” tommy didn’t get to answer before wil was back in front of him, speaking, “you say you only remember him saying your name before it all faded to black.

“he knows when you’re thinking about him,” wilbur continued, tone growing more ferocious as he walked forward. every step he took, tommy took one back. fear grew in his heart. “and i bet he practically feasts on the memory of your scream that day. treasures it like your disc.” tommy hit the wall with a small yelp in surprise.

“so stop. talking. about. him.” wilbur’s eyes were furious. “if i hear again that you’re asking around about dream, i’m bringing philza into it. and i’ll rethink the vice presidency thing we talked about.” then wilbur walked away, leaving tommy to gulp with fear. he called back one final, “we don’t talk about dream.”

…

“i don’t know much,” niki offered quietly, shifting her bread basket on her arm. “once he told me he’d kill my fox, and the next day it was dead.” she shook her head, continuing her walk that tommy had interrupted. “i wouldn’t go around asking about him, tommy. nothing good can come from it.”

tommy frowned.

…

“dream?” badboyhalo sounded, looking taken aback by the younger boy’s question. “i never really liked him.. we were okay, kind of, until a few rougher things happened..” bad shook his head, finally looking into tommy’s eyes. “last time i saw him, he said i would end up drunk and crazy with a beer gut if i continued to follow the egg. and i’ve already got body image issues, so..” bad shrugged with a wave. “wouldn’t trust him. that’s what i tell myself.”

tommy watched with wide, slightly-amused eyes as bad walked away.

…

“he told me that my sight would disappear,” eret spoke, deep voice sending a chill down tommy’s spine as he whipped off his sunglasses, “now look at my eyes!” tommy flinched with fear at the empty orbs stared at him. then eret laughed out, offering a charming smile. “just kidding. i was born like this.”

“jesus, man..,” tommy huffed. he was often understood and appreciated eret’s humor, but it could be annoying when tommy had a goal in mind. he wanted answers, not jokes.

“i wouldn’t go around asking about dream so freely, tommy,” eret shrugged, pushing his sunglasses back onto his nose. “you never know who you can trust these days because of him–anyone could be a spy. even me.” tommy tensed for a moment, furrowing his brow skeptically as eret walked past him. “im kidding, im kidding! ..kinda.” and the man walked away and laughed, leaving tommy more annoyed than before.

…

“why are you asking that?” george spoke slowly and unsurely.

“i..,” tommy began, trailing off. he didn’t know whether or not to be honest. “i don’t know. i think im at the age where i can finally understand and know a little about him. and i want to know.”

george just frowned, looking at the grass below them. he spoke slowly and quietly, “dream was.. he was strange with me. he was protective of me for the majority of our friendship, before i realized that his idea of “protection” was just plain manipulation.” he looked up and shrugged at tommy. “he would always tell me that everything i wanted was promised to me, and would someday be mine. i felt..” he shook his head with honest shame. tommy was listening intently at this rate; this was the most open he had ever seen george. “powerful. but i think my power only really grew when i was finally away from him.

“dream is complicated,” george continued, crossing his arms. “he does things only for his own benefit. whatever you’re asking around for, you’re only going to find the same answer; dream is a terrible man who did terrible things.” george picked up the bag he had laid on the ground. “that’s just the truth.” and he walked away without saying anything else.

tommy stood in the shade for a moment as he processed.

…

it was sunset when tommy finally reached your house. he took a deep breath before heading around back, where he knew you would be lounging by this time.

“tommy?”

you were reading a book on your lit up back porch, enjoying the cool evening breeze as the sun dipped below the horizon. your eyes were on him, brows raised curiously. he coughed out, “hey, y/n. how-”

“i know why you’re here,” you cut in. he silenced himself immediately, watching as you bookmarked your book before turning looking up at him again with a solemn smile. you waved a hand to the seat across from you. “let’s talk.”

tommy slowly sank into the comfortable chair, heart beginning to beat nervously. he began, “so..” but he didn’t know where to begin, and frankly was a little embarrassed that word of his curiosity had gotten back to you. he prayed it hadn’t found wilbur again. he shook his head–this was you. the most comfortable, kind person he knew. there was no reason to freeze up now. “.. where do i start?”

you offered him a short chuckle. “let me start.” tommy nodded, turning his body toward you. “george told me you were coming, by the way.” tommy pursed his lips. “and sapnap before that.” 

“yeah,” tommy coughed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “just.. covering all of the bases, i guess.”

you nodded, not looking at him. “i don’t know what has you so curious, but..” you shrugged. “if anyone around here is going to silence that mind of yours.. it might just be me.” tommy raised his eyebrows in the slightest, but your gaze remained on the small table between your seats. “dream was the most honest with me. he, uh, told me loved me after all.”

“do you not believe it?” tommy cut in. when you looked up, he quickly added, “sorry.”

“no, you’re fine,” you assured, shaking your head at him. “i did, at one point, but.. i don’t know what i believe about him anymore.” you paused, hugging one of your knees to your chest as you spoke, “dream used to tell me that we were meant for each other. that he was the man i was supposed to be with, that i was the one of his dreams. and if i were to ever leave him..” you shook your head to yourself, busying your hands with brushing your hair out of your face. “if he ever were to be out of reach, i would realize that i could never love again.”

“he was in love with you,” tommy summarized and you pursed your lips. “but you don’t know whether it was truly love or.. i don’t know, mania?”

“yeah,” you affirmed. “i left him before sapnap and george parted. he-he wanted to lock me down, keep me caged. and i couldn’t bear it.” you stood from your seat, finally meeting eyes with tommy’s wary gaze. “i know you’ve heard it a thousand times before, but please, tommy..” your pleading gaze sent a chill down his spine. “we don’t talk about dream.”

tommy gulped and nodded. the distant bell of the hours changing broke your focus. you looked into the distant sky with a sigh, “i’ve got to get changed. i have to be at the white house in an hour.”

“the white house?” tommy questioned, rising from his own seat. “why?”

“technoblade’s coming for dinner,” you explained, heading toward your back door, “and i think wilbur’s taking it as a chance to finally set us up.” you paused in your doorway as tommy raised his eyebrows. “i’ll see you there?”

“yeah,” he nodded, voice quieter than he would have liked. you just nodded in return and disappeared inside your house.

as tommy walked away, pondering dream’s obsession for you, he couldn’t help but shiver at the feeling of being watched.

…

tommy’s mind was swirling with a million thoughts when he returned to his house. quickly, he drew out the bowl he had swept the vinyl pieces into a few days prior. he poured them out onto the table, nearly ten pieces to a puzzle he didn’t know if he was ready to piece together. but he had bought some epoxy a day prior to try.

he began to piece together the vinyl, keeping an eye on the kitchen clock. 

we don’t talk about dream.

he was a nightmare!

three pieces were cleanly fitted to each other.

wouldn’t trust him. that’s what i tell myself.

dream used to tell me we were meant for each other.

it felt as if the entire house was on edge.

… and the next day it was dead.

we don’t talk about dream.

his hands were shaking as he tried the last few pieces.

practically a hurricane!

weapons strapped along his back..

the second the record was laid out, altogether at last, tommy shakily poured the epoxy along the cracks. his heart was racing, and he raked a stressed hand through his hair as he checked the clock once more. he’d have to wait for the glue-like substance to settle before he could toss the record onto a player, but he didn’t have enough time to wait for it. then, the front door slammed open.

“hey, tommy! you better get your nice shirt on, ‘cause techno is com- ing…” tommy turned to philza in absolute fear, listening as phil’s words trailed off when he spotted the disc on the table. his eyes were locked directly on the small green ring that outlined the center, jaw dropping slowly as tommy’s veins filled with horror, weakly attempted to cover the pieced disc. but the damage had already been done.

“i-i..,” tommy sputtered before the dam holding him together finally broke, and he rushed out in nearly one breath, “you sent me to the basement for techno’s gift, and i found a disc with my name on it from dream, but i broke it!, and i tried to ask around for clues but wilbur yelled at me, and karl’s furious, and i think.. dream’s after me?” the last part wasn’t meant to be so much of a question, but tommy could barely think of the inflection of his words when philza’s usually fatherly blue eyes looked so mortified.

his father took a few slow steps forward, painfully loud in the silent house.

“phil?”

philza gently pushed tommy to the side to view the cracked disc in full. he practically watched as his father’s chest filled and released with air, the expression in his eyes changing every moment as his eyes swirled with a thousand thoughts. his feathers were both literally and metaphorically ruffled.

then, the town’s bell rang in the distance and philza seemed to resolve. he glanced back at the door before to the disc.

“here’s what we’re going to do,” phil began, clearing his throat. he rushed over to grasp a plate from the cabinet. “we shut our mouths. wilbur is using tonight as a chance to finally reconnect technoblade and y/n after so many years of being on opposing sides, and we are notruining that.” philza gently swept the drying disc onto the plate. “so for tonight, we are notthinking about dream, dream is notthinking about you, this disc does notexist, and we are one, big, happy, dream-less nation.” philza grasped lightly at tommy’s shoulders. tommy felt intensely guilty for the worry in his father’s composed orbs. “no one has to know. not as long as we keep quiet. no one has to know.” tommy nodded fearfully.

a noise at the door made them both jump in the slightest. they slowly turned their heads toward the creaking noise to see the silhouette of ranboo’s looming figure, mismatched eyes wide as he stared into the house. 

“i know.”

series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.

chapter summary you have a small reunion with badboyhalo and punz, basking in the brief juxtaposition of calm. philza presents new information to technoblade and tommy, leaving them to form a sort of game plan as they continue to await your arrival in the tundra. ghostbur finally reaches eret’s castle.

warnings swearing, mentions of arson, destruction, manipulation, and heavy worship

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gif cred belongs to @honeyspawner​

“the entire smp is going crazy about you!” bad muttered into your shoulder. he had to physically lift you up in order for you to be at his level, but you didn’t mind in the least. you knew that’s what came with badboyhalo hugs.

“im sure,” you offered in response. bad let you down after one last squeeze, and you happily turned your open arms to punz.

“you’re crazy, woman,” punz shook his head, though he welcomed your embrace. you shook your head in return.

“what makes me crazy?” you inquired.

punz shook his head again at you after letting you go. “blowing up your own house? destroying neutral? leaving it all without a trace of you, i..” he shrugged at you. “no one understands. everyone thinks you’re dead. or worse.”

though your chest was filled with guilt, you still quirked an eyebrow at him. “what’s worse?”

“worse is that you weren’t the one to ruin it all,” bad explained solemnly. there was a pause where they awaited an explanation of any kind. you gulped down the guilt.

“i did it,” you assured first. “neutral’s livelihood was destroyed by my own doing. but..” you turned your gaze away from them for a moment. “technically, it’s still worse.”

“what do you mean?”

you took a deep breath to help you gather the right words. “i didn’t.. want to destroy neutral.” you looked into bad’s confused eyes, then to punz’s. “dream..”

“don’t say another word,” punz scoffed, throwing up his hands. “i knew that bastard had something to do with it–he withdrew from his alliance with l’manburg, like, two weeks after neutral went.” your brow furrowed as punz continued with frustration, “god, and i asked the egg for any sign that you were alright..” he shook his head. “and it didn’t tell me.”

“it knew you’d be upset,” bad sighed, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “the egg knew what it was doing.” bad smiled, reaching a hand out to you. “it knew she’d find her way to us.” you took it happily, yelping before laughing when bad pulled you into another hug with the two of them.

…

“i got it,” philza announced proudly, laying out a map after entering technoblade’s home. tommy perked up from the couch, where he had unfortunately passed out while waiting for phil. technoblade entered the room.

“knocking would’ve been nice,” the hybrid huffed, leaning over the kitchen table to inspect the large map. philza lit a torch to give the kitchen more illumination than just the moonlight streaming in through the windows.

“you got the message,” phil just brushed as tommy groggily made his way over. “fundy’s foxholes, mapped out to the best of my ability.”

maybe it was residual exhaustion from just waking up, but tommy felt dizzy from just the amount of lines that crossed and zagged on the parchment. “holy shit.. that many?”

“most start on the wall of l’manburg and branch to different locations,” phil explained, bringing his torch the slightest touch closer to the map. “they go to eret’s castle, spawn, old pogtopia.. one even stretches toward the prison.”

they gazed over the map in silence for a moment. technoblade spoke up, “we know fundy was sent out by l’manburg.. if he’s got any sorta’ information, i bet you eret knows.”

“how so?” tommy inquired, looking up at the taller man.

technoblade placed his finger on the tunnel to eret. “there’s no way in hell eret doesn’t know about the foxhole. he’s got eyes everywhere, including in l’manburg. if fundy knew anything, eret would use the foxhole to his advantage.”

“so chances are whatever l’manburg knows, eret knows,” phil agreed. then he sighed, “and.. there’s other news on that front.” they turned their eyes to the blonde man. “dream withdrew his alliance from l’manburg.”

“what?!” tommy immediately gasped, eyes wide with disbelief.

“l’manburg has to know something about y/n,” technoblade spoke seriously. “dream wouldn’t have left unless they were withholding serious information from him.”

“it’s a stupid move on his part, but it has to be true,” phil agreed. “i don’t know what he expects to do without their support.”

“he could’ve found out about the green festival,” technoblade proposed. phil sighed knowingly, shaking his head. tommy looked between the two of them. 

“what happened with the green festival?” tommy questioned.

phil looked toward the boy. “it never happened, but it was supposed to be a cover for l’manburg to kill dream.” tommy blinked in surprise, mouth hanging open in the slightest. “but since dream withdrew, the festival’s cancelled. either he found out about the coup, or he stupidly withdrew from the only nation that could give him support with the y/n situation.”

tommy’s mind was running like wild. though it was the least of his concerns, and certainly not his current priority, he couldn’t help but think that this might be his chance; with dream gone from l’manburg.. they might allow him back. he zoned out staring at the map just thinking of the possibility, heartbeat loud in his ears.

“whatever dream’s doing now, im sure it’s dangerous,” phil spoke, snapping tommy out of his temporary trance. “l’manburg’s backing or not, dream is a powerful guy. we need to keep our guards up and prepare for the possibility that he could come here next.”

“it’s true,” technoblade huffed, looking over at tommy. “he let us go in peace, but that bastard’s patience only lasts so long.” he considered for a moment as philza traced his finger along a path on the map. “tomorrow we’ll go get you some new armor, kid.” tommy grinned. “for now, let’s rest. we can think of plans for defenses and preparations tomorrow.”

philza nodded, rolling up the map. “i’ll be back in the morning. sleep well, boys.”

“night, phil,” tommy waved. once the door closed, he turned to technoblade again. his brother was looking him up and down, making tommy furrow his brow at him.

“im thinking netherite,” technoblade spoke aloud. tommy’s heart leapt. “you probably haven’t had a good set in a while.. im not as good of a welder as y/n, but i can try.”

“anything works, really,” tommy was quick to speak. technoblade offered him a tired smirk before beginning to slink out of the kitchen. “techno.” the taller man turned to him again. “thank you.”

“’course, kid,” the hybrid shrugged. “someone’s gotta take care of you.” tommy smiled. “get some rest, alright?” tommy nodded, muttering a ‘good night’ as technoblade disappeared to his room.

guilt filled his chest in the silence of the kitchen, thinking back to his wishful thoughts of l’manburg. tommy shrugged to himself, rolling his shoulders back at an attempt to rid himself of the feeling. his brother was going to make him some real armor tomorrow–a luxury he hadn’t seen in far too long. l’manburg could never offer him anything as kind as that.

whatever, tommy thought to himself as he retired to his room. it didn’t matter anyway.

…

“what are you two doing so far out of the smp?” you questioned the boys. your trio found a clearing in the forest, where you happily treated them to a picnic of your wrapped cooking. you were quickly preparing sandwiches as they spoke to and questioned you about your journey.

“we could ask you the same,” bad teased, nudging you before explaining, “the egg sent us to retrieve some materials out here. there’s a jungle temple not too far from here that had some..” bad and punz made quick eye contact. “..valuable materials.”

“i see,” you hummed with a nod. “well, im glad you found me on your way back.” they both smiled at you. “i needed a moment with someone other than nature.” you handed them both their completed sandwiches before sitting back to enjoy your own. “i came from the nether.”

bad would’ve choked if he had taken a bite then. “the nether?! i thought you hated it there!”

“i do,” you assured. “that much hasn’t changed.. but i needed to go somewhere that dream wouldn’t expect. and..” you shrugged, running a hand through the grass beneath your knees. “no really expected me to be in the nether.”

“that’s true,” bad ceded.

punz took a bite before asking, “was it a smooth trip, at least?”

you paused for a moment as you considered, thinking of your time with fundy and your moment with the god sent to find you. “as smooth as it could be for the nether, i guess,” you answered, offering him a half smile despite the deep-rooted ache in your chest.

“any idea where you’re headed next?” punz questioned. you hesitated for a moment, and your face must’ve visibly dropped, as bad turned and slapped his friend’s arm. as he quietly lectured him, you turned your gaze to the sky. you furrowed your brow at the unusual sight of a crow flying overhead; they weren’t usually native in brighter forested biomes. your mind wandered for just a moment before you were snapped back into the moment by bad’s voice.

“sorry, y/n,” he offered. “you don’t have to tell us; we know this journey’s yours to make.”

“it’s alright,” you assured, turning your gaze back to them with a kind smile. “im not entirely set on my destination yet, but.. i reallyam enjoying being a nomad again. some things about returning are just harder than others.”

“it’s your calling,” punz shrugged at you knowingly.

“i think so,” you agreed, taking a sip of the water you had gathered from a nearby lake. “but i did like having a home. neutral was the environment i had sought out when i left my village all those years ago..” you shook your head. “it just took a terrible set of circumstances to find it.”

“sometimes that’s how you find the things that become home to you,” bad offered comfortingly. “after all, we did just happen upon the egg.” punz nodded with strong agreement.

“andwe did just happen upon you,” punz reminded, throwing his arm over your shoulder to pull you to his chest affectionately. you giggled out again, placing a hand on the strong arm that had drew you in.

your heart sped up in the slightest as punz held you there for another few minutes as you talked, but you decided to brush it off as delight from getting to talk to the boys you hadn’t seen in so long. and for the rest of the afternoon, you traded stories of times happier than the present, and basked in the presence of the men who were always too busy to see you.

…

“at ease, gentlemen,” eret spoke when he saw his guards turn toward the entrance to his throne room. he knew at once who was walking through the entrance. he smiled kindly as the figure finally came into view. “welcome, ghostbur.” they stood from their throne as ghostbur approached further. “took you long enough.”

“apologies, eret,” ghostbur half smiled, offering a small bow to the king. “it began raining a week after i left and didn’t stop for a good few days.” he stood straight again as eret began to approach him. “you can understand why it took me a bit.”

eret nodded. “im nothing if not understanding.” ghostbur pursed his lips unsurely. “i know you don’t remember much from your past life, ghostbur, but..” eret stopped just a few feet from him. “im not proud of many of the things i did.” they took their glasses off, revealing his stark white eyes to ghostbur. for some reason, the ghastly man didn’t feel at all alarmed by the sight. instead, he felt an odd sense of calm. “i want to help you, ghostbur. but only if you want me to.”

the king paused to allow ghostbur to speak. he struggled for a moment to gather thoughts, memories–anything that could give more meaning to his words. but he just sighed as his illusory mind slipped him once again.

“i want you to help me, eret,” ghostbur assured, and she smiled at him. “i want to be human again.”

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series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.

chapter summary you finally leave the nether after a grueling, emotional trip. meanwhile, tommy finds an old message meant for technoblade. quackity contemplates the burdens of his present while you are reunited with surprising allies.

warnings swearing, mentions of suicide and violence, severe angst on multiple accounts

a/n it’s finally here, and hopefully a quick update to follow !

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gif cred belongs to @ana-tase​

there were many reasons you hated the nether. there were the countless near death experiences, the difficulty to obtain even the fewest of materials, the ruthless terrain, and, of course, the less than sympathetic inhabitants. but all of those reasons flew from your mind as you remembered how much you hated building portals.

you hadn’t truly acknowledged it until you were laying the third piece of obsidian. it was an unforgiving material; too tough to mine without diamond, but two weak to withstand dynamite. and overall, too heavy for one woman to carry back and forth.

when you trekked back over to the piglins you were trading with, you spoke in greek, “how much extra gold would it require for you few to help me?” it only took two more trips after that.

you thanked the piglins for their help and generosity, offering them an additional few gold bars to blow up the portal soon after you were gone. they assured you were welcome back any time before heading back to their village. you were rummaging through your bag for your flint and steel when a grunt sounded behind you. you turned to see the same messenger piglin who had delivered you a note just a few weeks before. he presented another carefully wrapped parchment to you.

“for technoblade,” was all he said to you, his voice a quiet rumble. you accepted the letter and placed it carefully into your bag. he nodded to you before joining his brethren again.

after watching the piglins disappear from your view you knelt by the new portal, striking the flint and steel hard over the base. it immediately sent a few sparks over the dark stone, and you leaned back as a purple haze slowly began to draw together from the obsidian. you made one more strike for good measure, and after a moment the familiar whispers of the portal filled your ears. the pull from it wasn’t nearly as strong as l’manburg’s.

you stood up tall and reached out one hand, summoning your trident back to your side. after the cool steel of it met your warm skin, you let out a breath and hopped into the portal. you landed strongly on the other side amongst a birch tree forest. you stood straight and looked about for any significant landmark; there was none to be found.

for the first time in a long time, you had no idea where you were. and it exhilarated you.

…

writing was nearly an impossible feat when the voices were restless. technoblade truly had no idea what triggered them that day, but once he had sat down to write an entry in his journal he realized how overpowering they were in the silence of his study.

‘we haven’t done enough today.’ ‘let’s go cook for phil.’ ‘is y/n okay right now?’ ‘we should really go harvest the potatoes before some of them start poisoning.’ ‘should we make sure tommy isn’t killing himself?’ ‘it’s alright, we can trust him with that sword. i think.’ ‘i wonder if y/n’s out of the nether yet.’ ‘we would’ve known if l’manburg got her.. right?’ ‘i don’t know, quackity’s crazy these days.’ ‘but is he crazy for her?’

“do you ever shut the hell up?” he grumbled to himself as his thoughts continued to swirl, rubbing a hand to his forehead in an attempt to calm the incessant aching that the voices brought.

“no, i don’t.”

technoblade’s head snapped up quickly to see it was just tommy standing in the doorway to his study. the boy shrugged, “sorry. voices?”

“yeah,” technoblade huffed out, leaning back in his chair. tommy perched himself on a nearby chest. “just won’t stop.” the boy nodded, as if he had any clue what his brother went through.

tommy thought for a moment before speaking, “i don’t remember.. too much of your experience of the voices when we were younger. but distracting helped, right?”

the hybrid shifted his eyes over to the younger boy, considering. “sometimes, i guess.”

“great, ‘cause i have something for you,” tommy hummed, reaching into his pocket for a gently rolled scroll. he stood and presented it to technoblade. “it’s from y/n; she sent it with me when i first started heading here, but i just now remembered it when i was finishing unpacking my bag.”

technoblade took the scroll with a heightened heart rate. “you never fully unpacked your bag?”

tommy shrugged. “i think i’ve finally started accepting im going to be here longer than i want.” he quirked a brow at him. “n-not because of you or anything! just because, you know, i’d rather be in neutral.”

“we all would rather be in neutral,” techno grumbled, smoothing his fingers over the ribbon tying the parchment together. he didn’t want to open it yet, not until he was alone. “finally accepted that it’s gone?”

“yeah,” tommy sighed, tucking his hands in his pockets. “i think so. but also, it’s not really gone. not when y/n’s still around.” technoblade just shifted his gaze as him and the voices considered the wise words. “but.. whatever. im headed to phil’s to make dinner. see you there?”

technoblade quickly snapped back to the moment. “yeah, yeah. i’ll catch up in a few.”

“cool,” tommy nodded, finally heading out of the office. when the door was closed again, technoblade considered tommy’s maturity for just a moment. he didn’t know if it upset him or not, seeing how his little brother had grown into something more than a jokester. it was as if tommy had found a balance in the two personalities, and he didn’t know whether to attribute that to y/n or growing into both of his brother’s influences. he figured it was probably a mix.

he didn’t dwell on it too long; he switched his attention to the parchment. he finally and carefully untied the ribbon holding it closed. it smoothly rolled out to reveal the blessed sight of y/n’s careful handwriting. just the sight of it brought the voices down to a whisper.

‘dear technoblade,
you’ve told me many times that history repeats itself and that such repeats may find me, no matter where i reside. i hate how scarily accurate you can be sometimes.
homebound again, but at the direction of dream. i don’t know if the communicators pick up on the device that he strapped to me, but if so, im sure i won’t be alone for long. just, please, try to find me as soon as you can.
i remember vividly that the first time this happened to me (which depresses me to remind that this is the second), one of my repetitive thoughts was ‘i know technoblade wouldn’t have done this to me.’ i’m starting to think that way again.
what a bitter thought.
as always, y/n’

his heart was racing by the end of the letter. it ached for y/n, and yet it burned with the implications of her thoughts for him. technoblade hated remembering the war more than anything; it only stirred unpleasant memories. but whenever it addressed her understandably torn feelings along with his undeniable ones, he yearned for a time where things were simpler.

he was lost in his thoughts for a few moments, wondering how often she thought of him during the war. he looked over the writing once more, reminding himself it was written before he saw her last. additionally, he reminded himself the war was two years past before the voices grew loud again.

‘i hope she’s okay.’ ‘she’ll find her way to us eventually.’ ‘im kinda hungry.’ ‘i hope she thinks about us a lot.’ ‘definitely not as much as we think about her, though.’ ‘tommy’s probably waiting.’ ‘waiting sucks.’

“alright, shut up,” technoblade grumbled to himself. he slid y/n’s letter into his journal before standing up. he spoke aloud, “she’ll be here soon.” but he didn’t know if the words were to reassure the voices or himself.

…

quackity found himself getting home later and later every evening. he had told sapnap and karl to stop waiting up for him when it got past ten at night, but he still came home disappointed that they had followed his word.

despite his disappointment, he still took off his armor as quietly as he could. removing the iron armor that was customary for day-to-day in l’manburg was a weight off of his shoulders, but it didn’t at all lighten to the weight upon his chest. he leaned his sword against the couch as he rested his head in his hands.

the search was exhausting for everyone. nearly everyone had made it back, but the only luck was with fundy. and even then, there was no lead on that front. quackity was getting restless.

he prayed y/n was alright. though the stress was insane, above all else he hoped she was safe. 

quackity wasn’t around for the war. but after hearing the stories from fundy and the general gossip, it just gave him another reason to despise dream. he really hoped dream had nothing to do with what happened to neutral.

he had considered that possibility; that the reason dream was so quick to bother l’manburg for information and to pull a sword on fundy was because y/n had been running not from neutral, but from him. though it was a nightmare scenario, quackity secretly hoped it was true. just for another reason to get dream.

he thought about y/n for another minute, about her dazzling smile and motherly personality that had entranced him from the day they met. he missed everything about her dearly. being vice president was too busy of a job; he wished he had gotten to experience neutral one last time before it was gone. but as far as he knew, y/n was still alive. he held onto that hope of seeing her again.

quackity did his best to rid himself of those thoughts as he headed toward the bedroom he shared with his fiancés. when he creaked the door open, he saw they were already curled into each other under the plush blankets of the queen bed, snoring and asleep. though the sight was pure in and of itself, it pained quackity’s heart to see them sleeping so peacefully without him. he frowned as he closed the door again, heading back to the couch.

he laid down and flicked off the lamp, pulling an old quilt over his body. the house was uncomfortably silent in the night, and his stressed thoughts returned to fill the void and distract his ever-aching chest.

quackity sighed to himself once more. he really wished his fiancés had waited for him.

…

using your compass, you trekked north for three days straight. despite the harshness of the return, it felt good to be a nomad again. after the first day, you came across a village that felt familiar to you and a kind, recognizable woman pointed you in the right direction of the tundra after providing a nice meal. it was a welcome comfort after the harshness of the nether.

your trident was in one hand, your compass in the other as you continued on. you were amongst an oak forest, embracing the breeze that swept through the trees, cooling the sunshine that fell upon you through the branches. you felt totally at ease, allowing your mind to absorb your surroundings rather than return to your stressed thoughts.

until you heard the voices.

you immediately tucked yourself behind a tree, slipping your compass in your bag. the voices were distant but, with no other sound around, the mutters were obvious. you glanced around the wide tree, squinting at the figures you saw in the distance. whoever they were, their identities weren’t obvious to you at first glance. but you could see one was shrouded in black and the other in lighter clothing, and their distant blobs were definitely headed in your direction.

you quickly grabbed two of the sturdier arrows in your quiver, plunging them into the tree you had used for cover and climbing your way up to the high branches. you summoned your trident once you reached them.

you settled on a solid branch hidden amongst the leaves of other trees, peeking through the shroud. their voices were almost clear to you now, and your heart began to hammer with anticipation. it definitely wasn’t dream, but it could’ve very well been l’manburg. your brow furrowed, leaning the slightest bit closer in an attempt to make out the words.

“it’s all about recruitment, punz!” a chipper voice spoke. you pressed a hand to your mouth to suppress a gasp that dared to rise. you could’ve sworn that was.. “the egg thrives on loyalty; the more who can hear it, the more power it gets.”

that solidified it. you let yourself slip to the group, plunging your trident into the grass as your feet planted firmly. the two men who had just passed the tree now turned in surprise. they were both impossibly taller than you, and yet the sight of them was the first comfort you had felt in days.

“oh my goodness- y/n?!” badboyhalo exclaimed, all nine and a half feet of him immediately alight with excitement. punz’s mouth was agape, his axe slipping from his fingers.

“bad!” you squealed out and he scooped you into his arms without hesitation.

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