distinctlywhumpthing:

Unintentional 18

Previous — Masterlist — Next

As always, beta-read by @alittlewhump <3

CW: BBU, institutionalized slavery, dehumanization, surgical/medical whump implied, and subsequent “side effects” and trauma. Explicit language. Some of this narrative involves an ongoing suicide attempt. General suicidal ideation, hopelessness, trauma. Implied noncon, restraints, beating/electrocution mentions, murder mention,dissociative/delusional state,drugging mention, victim self-blaming. Asks and messages are always welcome, please stay safe.

He had expected to feel lighter. Beat by beat untethered, unburdened. Nothing left for anyone. Not even him. He had thought it would all simply fade away.

Instead, it was heavy. 

With everything he let out, more crowded in. Everything he’d lived through, had ever survived, the weight of his whole life. Each ounce replaced in triplicate. Holding him down from the inside out. All of it there, everyone there. Pressing in on him. Until it was unbearable. 

Harrison, laughing at him for thinking he had any choice in the matter. 

Archer, furious and screaming at him for fucking up so thoroughly. 

And Leo. 

Leo wouldn’t go away. He’d known him the shortest time of all but he took up the most space. He grappled and twisted around and around, stuck in the repetitive current of the thoughts. Their weight gathered an undeniable momentum, his control itself was too heavy to wield. He was swept off his feet, drowning, wondering over and over how Leo would react to this finality. Trying to force Leo’s expression into one that he could accept. 

But it never reached his eyes.

Keep reading

He is such an absolute mess and I just want to dive into all the tangled threads of his story and straighten them out until everything makes sense. I wanna know how he got to WRU in the first place, how he went from being a pet in training to just a medical experiment. I wanna know about all these people he’s mentioning. I wanna know why he’s 359 here but 810 later.

I wanna know WHAT HE MEANS BY COMING BACK WITH TWO KILLS UNDER HIS BELT

I wanna knooooooooow