#beetlejuice meme

————————BEETLEJUICE THE MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS PT. 2
change as needed. mentions of death, suicide, and comedic references to, well, creepy old guys.

Girl Scout
“This is it- the day I’ve been waiting for.”
“I’m gonna sell some cookies.”
“It’s not their fault that they’re overprotective.”
“My heart is defective.”
“They’d have my back if anything went wrong with me.”
“When you’re a Girl Scout, everything’s gonna work out.”
“Just gonna ring the bell of this creepy looking house.”
“Hello, little girl.”
“I’m here today to support the Girl Scouts by selling cookies.”
“Why don’t you come inside?”
“No one gets molested by a gothy teen.”
“It’s so dark in here.”
“Maybe I should come back another time when your parents are home?”

That Beautiful Sound
“Do you hear that sound?”
“The sound of a scream is music to me.”
“Ain’t it the sweetest noise around?”
“Someone’s at the door.”
“You wanna answer it this time?”
“Don’t oversell it, act natural.”
“Come on, you’re giving me advice?”
“I don’t live here, I’m dead.”
“It fills you with pride.”
“We’re ruining lives.”
“You know what would make all this even more awesome?”
“All we wanna do is hear that sound.”
“Let’s make some more people scream!”
“You know overnight delivery costs extra?”
“Holy moly, a lot of people come to this house.”
“New neighbors? I brought you a pie.”
“No more condescending adults hanging around.”
“Look at me. I’m finally free.”
“You’re finally free.”
“I was invisible but now they all see.”

Barbara 2.0
“Look at this stuff. God, it’s depressing.”
“You don’t like this stuff?”
“Well, then maybe we should go.”
“It’s the stuff of our lives and all of it’s shit.”
“Okay, that… wasn’t as much fun as I thought it’d be…”
“We are not kombucha people.”
“Take it and trash it. Burn it or smash it.”
“We can be fighters with fire inside us.”
“We’re finally alive!”
“The _____ you married, she Is dead and buried six feet below.”
“Say hello to _____ 2.0!”
“I never even used this…but then I felt bad that I never used it.”
“I think I’ve been hiding.”
“We’ve got nothing to lose. We can finally begin!”
“The new _____ is wiser.”
“We could just walk but we’ve done that before.”
“What we cannot ignore is _____ needs us.”
“She needs people who won’t run away.”
“Time to let go.”

What I Know Now
“I went to parties a lot.”
“But I was depressed.”
“I had such low self-esteem. I was a mess.”
“I gave it all up for the netherworld.”
“I’ve been here forever, girl.”
“I would’ve stuck it out, knowing what life’s about.”
“Everyone here is alone.”
“If you are breathing, go home.”
“If I knew then what I know now I would have looked within and let love in somehow.”
“If I only knew the truth back then I wouldn’t have had my little ‘accident’.”
“You left your whole life behind.”
“Death is final and you cannot press rewind.”
“Nietzsche was right, y'know, to live is to suffer, bro.”
“Don’t cheat on the one you wed.”
“Why did it take death to see happiness was up to me?”
“I thought I knew but I was wrong.”
“Life is short but death is super long.”
“Before they lower the curtain, be certain to enjoy the show.”
“If I only knew what I know now!”

Home
“Tired of talking to myself here.”
“Here I am in the abyss.”
“Are you really in this place?”
“I could search for all eternity and never see your face.”
“I’m lost without you.”
“No idea which way to go.”
“Whichever path I choose I lose, you know.”
“I don’t know which way’s home.”
“You always saw life as a game but since you left, it sucks to play.”
“Where to next?”
“Terrified of letting you go.”
“Speak to me and I’ll understand.”
“Is this the end you meant for me?”
“There’s no home without you in it.”
“I’ve burned all my bridges and came.”
“I don’t wanna forget you.”
“I promise I’m never gonna forget you.”
“I’m gonna go back home.”
“It’s messy but they’re all that I have.”
“I’ll make the best of being flesh and bone.”

Creepy Old Guy
“Everywhere, fellas would stare out on the street.”
“I felt used, kinda confused.”
“I would refuse to look in their eyes.”
“I really love creepy old guys!“
“Hey, baby, smile!”
“They make me blush.”
“Now one of them loves me, wants to be mine.”
“I’m marrying my own creepy old guy.”
“I’m so happy I could cry.”
“Girls may seem disgusted, but we’re actually just shy!”
“I am older, but I’m glad I waited.”
“Get him prepared for Armageddon.”
“Sure, the groom crawled out of a tomb, but hey, it’s a wedding.”
“Have you guys seen Lolita? This is just like that, but fine.”
“Our faith has been renewed, now love is alive!”
“I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by.”
“I know that on the outside he’s disgusting… and even on the inside, he’s disgusting.”
“OMG, dressed to a T. Fancy and formal.”
“I found me a wife. L'chaim! To life!”
“This is so normal!”
“I was ignored but now, I’m adored.”
“I can’t believe some cultures think this kind of thing’s alright.”
“Doesn’t he deserve a chance at life?”
“I have chills.”

Jump In The Line
“I tell you, friends, I adore her.”
“When she dances, oh brother.”
“She’s a hurricane in all kinds of weather.”
“Okay, I believe you.”
“Doesn’t this just blow your mind?”
“I was on a mission.”
“This is what I left behind.”
“I’ll miss you every day.”
“Seek a little strange and unusual and you will find life, beyond all comprehension.”
“A little unconventional, I know.”
“I’m home!”

————————-BEETLEJUICE THE MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS PT. 1
change as needed. mentions of death and suicide.

Prologue: Invisible
“We have only each other.”
“Scripture tells us, ‘Sorrow not, for we do not walk alone.’“
“You’re invisible when you’re sad.”
“Nobody understands and everyone goes away.”
“Grownups wanna fix things, when they can’t it only fills them with shame.”
“Is it being greedy to need somebody to see me and say my name?”
“Such a bold departure from the original source material.”

The Whole “Being Dead” Thing
“‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in.”
“You’re doomed! Enjoy the singing.”
“If I hear your cell phone ringing, I’ll kill you myself.”
“We should have carpe’d way more diems. Now we’re never gonna see ‘em.”
“Welcome to a show about death!”
“You’re gonna be fine on the other side.”
“The women’s bathroom has no line here.”
“I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke.”
“We’re all on a hit list. Might not live ‘till Christmas.”
“Death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new.”
“If you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing.”
“That’s the thing with life: no one makes it out alive.”
“Death just needs a little conversation.”
“I have mastered the art of tearing convention apart.”

Ready, Set, Not Yet
“I know to the untrained eye it’s boring.”
“Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain, it’s fun!”
“Why do you polish a crib when you don’t have a kid?”
“Your sense of perfection is just a reflection that you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid.”
“Are you willing to take the next step?”
“Look at these jugs!”
“The world will never wreck you.”
“Here we stand at the end of a 10-year plan.”
“A baby should be next.”
“Together let’s leap off the cliff.”
“Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushed.”
“Do we want a bilingual household or not?.”
“What’s the point of having children if we’re drowning in debt?”

The Whole “Being Dead” Thing Pt. 2
“I’ll be your guide to the other side.”
“Don’t go to the Netherworld.”
“I’m the B-to-the-double-E-J-F-Q and Jesus, I can’t spell.”
“Let’s all get naked!”
“Hey, worth a try.”
“I understand that it’s a lot to process.”
“That means the two of you should stick around.”
“Lucky for you I dropped by.”
“I’ve been scaring for millennia.”
“Flush out all the breathers, you can breathe easier.”
“I’m like a ghost-zombie Jesus.”
“I do it for the love of it.”
“Money? Ah, who gives a shit?”
“Come on, let’s make out a bit.”
“It’s the perfect day to die.”

Dead Mom
“I need a little help here.”
“Are you really in the ground? ‘Cause I feel you all around me.”
“I’m a bunch of broken pieces. It was you who made me whole.”
“_____’s in denial. _____ doesn’t wanna feel.”
“He wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal.”
“You won’t believe the mess that we’ve become.”
“You’re my home, my destination.”
“You held my hand and life came easy.”
“I want something to believe in or I’m done.”
“Take me where my soul can run.”
“I’m running out of hope and time.”
“No more playing _____’s game.”
“I’ll go insane if things don’t change.”

Fright of Their Lives
“Right now, you couldn’t frighten a fly.”
“You ever stop to ask yourselves ‘why?’“
“You are super polite, middle class, suburban, and white. Well, all of that is finished tonight. Except for the white part, obviously.”
“Look at me, I’m so scary.”
“Don’t be so vanilla.”
“Would a little anger kill ya?”
“C'mon, drop your panties. I’m trying to fill ya with wisdom and skill.”
“We do not want to kill anyone!”
“Now that is cool! I wanna do that!”
“Give those guys the fright of their lives.”
“Take a deep breath and give me your best primal scream.”
“Try it again. Maybe this time pretend like you mean it.”
“I find that so rude!”
“Both of them are deathly dull and lame.”
“Why God-slash-Satan, did you send these bed wetters?”
“Well that was a soliloquy so you’re the one who’s being rude.”
“Ugh, these dopes are both hopeless.”

Ready Set (Reprise)
“That needy pervert was right.”
“If we want our house back, we have to fight for it!”
“We’re ghosts, damn it! Let’s haunt this bitch!”
“We might as well walk through some walls.”
“We’re ready as we’ll ever get.”
“I gotta get right outside my comfort zone.”

No Reason
“Just think of the universe as a female best friend.”
“You’re on the right track, girl. I got your back, girl.”
“Think positive. Act positive.”
“You are a child of the Earth.”
“Life-coaching! Nailing it!”
“You dictate the hand the universe deals.”
“Who needs evidence? Go with your feels.”
“Buy more crystals!”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Be a beacon of light in the world.”
“Perception is reality.”
“The universe is just the contents of time, matter and space.”
“You think life is all unicorns and rainbows.”
“Positivity is a luxury that few can afford.”
“So you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair- talkin’ to the walls ‘cause there’s no one there.”
“Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em.”
“Terrible things can happen because the universe is random.”

Invisible (Reprise)/On the Roof
“You’re invisible when you’re me.”
“There’s no one to see my truth.”
“Hey, somebody’s on the roof!”
“God, it’s mortifying. What’s the point of even trying?”
“Nobody said life’s fair.”
“By the time you read this I, _______, will be gone.”
“There’s nothing for me here. I’m alone, forsaken, invisible.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Can you… see me?!”
“I’m gonna have a new best friend!”

Say My Name
“You could use a buddy. Don’t you want a pal?”
“Don’t end yourself. Defend yourself.”
“The finer points can wait.”
“Go ahead and jump but that won’t stop him.”
“Here you got a solid plan B option.”
“You won’t believe how far I’ll go.”
“I’m on the bench, but coach, just put me in the game.”
“All you gotta do is say my name.”
“How 'bout a game of charades?”
“I’ll think about your offer, let you know.”
“I prefer my chances down below.”
“Being young and female doesn’t mean that I’m an easy mark.”
“Yes, life sucks but not that much.”
“Be a doll and spare the lecture.”
“I may be suicidal but _____, it’s not as if I’ve lost my mind”
“Playing hardball, huh? You are tougher than you look.”
“This is a dangerously unstable individual.”
“He can help. We found him on Yelp.”
“Our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended him.”
“There you go, kid. Couple of five-star reviews.”
“That was possession. Any ghost can do that in less than one lesson.”
“They’re sweet, but I’m a demon straight from Hell.”
“I know, I went a little hard on the sell.”
“But we’re BFF-F-F’s forever!”
“What? He was already dead.”
“Together we can make a grown man weep.”
“I’ll lead that lamb to slaughter.”
“I’m gonna make him say my name.”

Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)/Act I Finale
“I have only known this amazing, amazing man and his unique daughter for a few months.”
“What’s goin’ on, _____? Are you all right?”
“What is happening to me?”
“Wait, why aren’t you dancing?”
“This house is haunted and the ghosts who live here want you out!”
“No! I’m a vegan!”
“A genuine haunted house? It’s a gold mine!”
“No, you’re supposed to be scared!”
“There’s one thing that can still stop him.”
“I can’t keep living like this!”
“I’m so glad you changed your mind. You are never gonna regret this.”
“We are gonna make such a great team”
“It’s showtime!”
“It’s our house now, kid.”
“Looks like we’re not invisible anymore.”