#but here it is

okay so i finally read TLO and at some point when I can type more I’ll put together all my thoughts (I HAVE SEVERAL) but heres the silly TLO Ink thought I keep having:

In DCTL, Buddy describes the ink as “salty” at the end. In TLO, Brant explicitly says the ink does NOT taste salty. Constance describes the smell as “tangy” so let’s go with that for now; in TLO the ink is tangy.

in TLO, ink magnifies some part of your personality that you are intentionally hiding and cartoonishly exaggerates it, even if you only get a little bit splashed on you

in DCTL, Buddy gets splattered with ink early on and this does not happen. No emotion takes over Buddy; his anger is normal. Same for Jacob (assuming Jacob isnt normally suppressing a desire to murder), and same for Dot, who touches the thick ink at the closet – and DCTL takes place over months, while iirc TLO lasts only a few days, so there would have been plenty of time to see the effects.

Sammy, however, could fit the TLO trend. While getting covered in ink didnt transform him the way it does in TLO, his personality eventually shifts to something that was always hiding in him, and the desire for something safe and secure that could protect him becomes absurd and worshipful. His scrawled desire to “be free” matches Constance’s feelings about her social situation and makes much more sense in that context. And I’m pretty sure I’ve talked before about the Ink Demon Blood Theory where it seems like Sammy was drinking something different to the ink that was constantly flooding the studio, thus why he was able to run out of his fix.

so like………………….. you could make a not-unreasonable argument???? that the ink the TLO Teens encounter (tangy ink) is the same ink Sammy got addicted to, now being mass produced by the obviously updated machine, while most of the ink Sammy got dowsed by in DCTL was the ink from the pipes (salty ink), and thats what got all over Buddy when they crashed into each other, and also what he used for most of his weird cocoon ritual decorating, so thats why those things didn’t result in the tangy ink effects.

THIS IS QUITE A HALF-FORMED THOUGHT AND IT DOESNT EXPLAIN EVERYTHING BUT I KEEP TURNING IT OVER IN MY BRAIN REGARDLESS LMAO

archieimagines:

American Horror Story

Imagines:

Cordelia Foxx | Imagine becoming the new Supreme 

Big Bang Theory

One Shots:

Sheldon Cooper | Prove The Theory

Headcanons:

Sheldon & Leonard | Sheldon’s teenage sister sharing the apartment

Black Sails

Imagines:

Charles Vane | Imagine Charles Vane promising you a future by his side

The Breakfast Club

Imagines:

John Bender | Imagine Bender helping you find the library for detention

Criminal Minds

Imagines:

Spencer Reid | “Ho ho ho, bitch.” 
Spencer Reid | Imagine having a meme war with Spencer

Headcanons:

Spencer Reid | Dating Spencer Reid would include

DC Universe

One Shot:

Damian Wayne | upcoming

Hal Jordan | Get Your Own Jello

Deadpool

Preferences:

How they cuddle |Part 2

Divergent

Imagines:

Will | Imagine Will teaching you martial arts

Doctor Who

Imagines:

10th Doctor | Imagine being with the 10th Doctor in Paris

12th Doctor | Imagine being in a band with the 12th Doctor

Downton Abbey

One Shots:

Thomas Barrow | Such A Charmer

The Flash

Headcanons:

Barry Allen | Dating Barry would include

Friends

Imagines: 

Joey Tribbiani | Imagine having a crush on Joey

Headcanons:

All | Having a night out with the group would include

Game of Thrones Masterlist

Girl Meets World

Imagines:

Lucas Friar | Imagine being the ‘it couple’ with Lucas

One Shots:

Joshua Matthews | Failed Plans

Glee

Imagines:

Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman | Imagine Puck getting jealous over you

Grey’s Anatomy

One Shots:

George O’Malley | 007

Owen Hunt | Major 
Owen Hunt | My Choice

Harry Potter

Imagines:

Draco Malfoy | Your hair keeps blowing into my face and it’s annoying but I don’t want to stop talking to you
Draco Malfoy | Oh, this isn’t a costume, it’s my natural state of being

Neville Longbottom | I’m not usually scared of things like this but you keep screaming and making me jump

Sirius Black (young) | October ain’t October til someone gets their head stuck in a pumpkin
Sirius Black | Imagine adopting a little girl with Sirius
Sirius Black | Imagine being a muggle that Sirius falls for after he flies away on Buckbeak | upcoming

One Shots:

Fred Weasley | Fireworks

George Weasley | Dancing Barefoot in the Dark

Remus Lupin (young) |Monthlies

Sirius Black (young) | Good Things
Sirius Black | Against My Better Judgement

Headcanons:

Ron Weasley | Dating Ron Weasley would include

Preferences:

Telling them you love them

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Imagines:

Credence Barebone | Imagine finding Credence after he escapes from MACUSA
Credence Barebone | Imagine Credence being convinced he isn’t good enough for you

Jacob Kowalski | Imagine being a witch working in Jacob’s bakery and knowing all the creatures he creates

Percival Graves | Imagine being the only one to notice Graves’ change in behaviour before he’s revealed as Grindelwald
Percival Graves | You look like a drowned cat but I think you’re attractive

Newt Scamander | “I’m still sad you won’t be home for Christmas.”

Hairspray

Imagines:

Corny Collins | Imagine Corny Collins telling you “Hey baby, looks like you could use a stiff one.”

Hawaii 5-0

One Shots:

Chin Ho Kelly | Mistakes

Danno Williams | Save Me

Hemlock Grove

Imagines:

Roman Godfrey | Imagine Roman missing your hints that he’s an upir

Jurassic Park

Imagines:

Ian Malcolm | Imagine snuggling on a rainy summer’s evening with Ian

Owen Grady | Imagine Owen saving you when you’re being chased in the T-Rex enclosure
Owen Grady | Imagine having a crush on Owen
Owen Grady | Imagine being scared of Owen when he snaps at you

Headcanons:

Alan Grant | Dating Alan Grant would include

Ian Malcolm | Dating Ian Malcolm would include
Ian Malcolm | Cuddling with Ian on a rainy summer’s evening would include | upcoming

Nick Van Owen | Dating Nick Van Owen would include

Owen Grady | Falling in love with Owen Grady would include
Owen Grady | Dating Owen Grady would include

Richard Levine | Dating Richard Levine would include | upcoming

Kingsman Masterlist

The Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit

Imagines:

Legolas | Imagine being Legolas’ hair stylist
Legolas | Imagine Legolas being the only one to beat you in a fight

Thranduil | Imagine Thranduil in modern Earth

LOST

Imagines:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not wanting to give your messenger bag back
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer not wanting to give your bag back without realising it has your medication in it
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine having your first time with Sawyer
James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Imagine Sawyer noticing that Jack is your ex

Kate Austen | Imagine Kate comforting you when you lose a precious necklace

Sayid Jarrah | Imagine falling asleep on Sayid
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine being selectively mute and only speaking to Sayid
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid saving you 
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine Sayid scaring you when he turns ‘bad’
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding a pool with Sayid and taking a dip
Sayid Jarrah | Imagine finding out Sayid is touch-starved

Shannon Rutherford | Imagine lending Shannon your inhaler

One Shots:

James ‘Sawyer’ Ford | Sandbox |Part 2

Preferences:

First Kiss

Night at the Museum

Imagines:

Kahmunrah | Imagine Kahmunrah falling in love with you

M*A*S*H

Imagines:

‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Imagine Hawkeye performing your appendectomy
‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Imagine Hawkeye and BJ saving you from being harassed
‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Imagine always cheering Hawkeye up
‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Imagine Hawkeye comforting you | upcoming

One Shots:

‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Brothers (And Sisters) In Arms

Headcanons:

Father Mulcahy | Being close friends with Father Mulcahy would include

‘Hawkeye’ Pierce | Being in a serious relationship with Hawkeye would include

Marvel Cinematic Universe Masterlist

The Maze Runner

Imagines:

Gally | Imagine Gally falling in love with you but not being able to do anything about it because of Alby’s rules
Gally | Imagine trying to come up with a plan to be with Gally

Narcos

Imagines:

The Castaño Brothers | Imagine both Fidel and Carlos having a thing for you

Javier Peña | Imagine giving Javi a massage after finding out he spent all night at his desk
Javier Peña | Imagine confronting Javi about his association with Los Pepes
Javier Peña | Imagine being Steve’s sister and dating Javi
Javier Peña | Imagine having a secret relationship with Javi and Steve finding out.
Javier Peña | “You didn’t think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”
Javier Peña | “Wanna get shit-faced instead?”
Javier Peña | “So, I didn’t actually get you anything.” 
Javier Peña | “I told you you were going to get sick if you stayed in the snow all day.”
Javier Peña | Imagine Javi comforting you when the sicario you’re after gets away

La Quica | Imagine La Quica trying to protect you

One Shots:

Javier Peña | upcoming | (NSFW)

Headcanons:

Javier Peña | Javi falling in love with you would include
Javier Peña | Dating Javi would include | upcoming

La Quica | Dating La Quica would include

Series:

Javier Peña | Cartagena
Part 1 upcoming

Narnia

Imagines:

Aslan | Imagine Aslan feeling compelled to protect you
Aslan | Imagine seeking counsel in Aslan when you’re not feeling yourself
Aslan | “I hope you break your ass on that ice.”

Prince Caspian | Imagine Caspian falling in love with you

One Shots:

Prince Caspian | What You Deserve

NCIS

Imagines:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | Imagine Gibbs reluctantly cuddling with you after a tough case, but secretly enjoying it

One Shots:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs | His Closest Friend

Parks and Rec

Imagines:

Ben Wyatt | Imagine comforting Ben after the Ice Town incident

One Shots:

Andy Dwyer | “Holy shit, you know Santa!”

Ben Wyatt | Happy Secrets

Peaky Blinders

One Shots:

Tommy Shelby |Eavesdrop

Preacher

Imagines:

Cassidy |  Imagine being in a relationship with Cassidy
Cassidy |  Imagine getting up to mischief with Cassidy

Pushing Daisies

Imagines:

Emerson Cod | Imagine Emerson knitting you a sweater for Christmas

Ned The Piemaker | Imagine Ned falling in love with you when you become a regular at the Pie Hole
Ned the Piemaker | “You’re covered in flour.”
Ned the Piemaker | Imagine Ned baking you a pie to tell you his feelings

Reign

One Shots:

Sebastian ‘Bash’ de Poitiers | Real France|Part 2 

Riverdale

Imagines:

Archie Andrews | Imagine everyone noticing you and Archie like each other and trying to get you together
Archie Andrews | Imagine being a Serpent that Archie falls for

Jughead Jones | Imagine editing Jughead’s manuscript
Jughead Jones | Imagine being new in town and Jughead becoming your friend

Reggie Mantle | Imagine being Jughead’s sister and Reggie liking you

Sweet Pea | “Open your present!”

Veronica Lodge | I dressed down in this slutty catwoman outfit for you and my party boob keeps escaping

One Shots:

Archie Andrews | Worry

Jughead Jones | Misery Loves Company

Sweet Pea | Blood, tears and… corn?

Shadowhunters

Imagines: 

Jace Wayland | Imagine Clary trying to go for Jace without realising he’s already dating you

Star Wars

Imagines:

Cassian Andor | Imagine Cassian confronting you when you become distant | upcoming

Chewbacca | Imagine Chewie being protective of you

Darth Maul | Imagine Darth Maul knowing that you staying with him is dangerous

Han Solo | Imagine meeting Han through Dryden Vos
Han Solo | Imagine being in flying school with Han
Han Solo | Imagine helping Han when he’s injured during a job
Han Solo | Imagine catching Han staring at you
Han Solo | Imagine Han getting protective of you around Jabba
Han Solo | Imagine proving to Han that you’re a badass | upcoming
Han Solo | Imagine Han accidentally saying something offensive about your dyslexia

Kylo Ren | Imagine yelling at Kylo Ren
Kylo Ren | Imagine persuading Kylo Ren to speak his mind
Kylo Ren | Imagine being a follower of Snoke who actually turned to the light and is stuck hiding it from Kylo Ren

Lando Calrissian | Imagine Lando stopping Han from hitting on you
Lando Calrissian | Imagine L3 giving you advice about your crush on Lando
Lando Calrissian | Imagine Lando catching you trying on his capes
Lando Calrissian | Imagine cuddling with Lando Calrissian

Poe Dameron | Imagine trying to talk Poe Dameron out of doing something stupid
Poe Dameron | Imagine Poe kissing you to shut you up 

One Shots:

Dryden Vos | Not Obligation

Han Solo | Corellia | upcoming
Han Solo | That was a Close One | upcoming

Poe Dameron | Fine

Headcanons:

Lando Calrissian | Dating Lando would include

Luke Skywalker | Dating Luke Skywalker would include

Obi-Wan Kenobi | Dating Obi-Wan would include

Supernatural

Imagines:

Castiel | Can you please help me carry this pumpkin to my apartment it’s like three times my size

Gabriel | “Are you trying to find your present?”

Sam Winchester | Imagine braiding Sam’s hair
Sam Winchester |  i can’t believe i got stuck in a lift with you dressed as a clown

One Shots:

Sam Winchester | Workaholic

Preferences:

How they react to you getting hurt for them

Series:

Dean x daughter!reader | Family Don’t End In Blood
Part 1 |Part 2 upcoming

Teen Wolf

Imagines:

Lydia Martin | Imagine Lydia helping you figure out which supernatural creature you are

Stiles Stilinski | Imagine helping Stiles through his night terrors
Stiles Stilinski | Imagine being Scott’s little sister and having a crush on Stiles |Part 2
Stiles Stilinski | Imagine Stiles reacting to you getting terrible anonymous messages
Stiles Stilinski | “Fine, you can put the topper on the tree.”
Stiles Stilinski | “My gingerbread house is prettier than yours.”

One Shots:

Brett Talbot | His Angel

Stiles Stilinski | Unsteady
Stiles Stilinski | Not Anymore 
Stiles Stilinski | Jealousy

Theo Raeken | In the Neighbourhood (kinda NSFW)

Headcanons:

Stiles Stilinski | Dating Stiles would include
Stiles Stilinski | How Stiles reacts to you breaking up with him
Stiles Stilinski | Taking Stiles to meet your parents would include

Theo Raeken | Dating Theo would include

Umbrella Academy

Imagines:

Diego Hargreeves | Imagine Diego saving you

Five Hargreeves | Imagine sensing that Five is coming home

Klaus Hargreeves | Imagine having the same powers as Klaus but enjoying them

Headcanons:

Five Hargreeves | Five being in love with you would include:

X-Men

Imagines:

Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | Imagine Erik trying to help with dinner by using his powers
Erik ‘Magneto’ Lehnsherr | “You’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?”

Charles ‘Professor X’ Xavier | “Why does the house smell like a cinnamon roll threw up?”

Charles and Erik | Imagine being recruited into the X-Men by Charles and Erik

Wolverine / Logan | Imagine stealing Logan’s motorbike to get his attention after having a crush on him for so long

happy reading ♡

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything, practically a year and 2020 was awful and 2021 didn’t start off well either because of a relative’s death. But anyway, I hope you guys like what I’ve written.

If you wanna support me, I would be highly grateful. My paypal is: paypal.me/filterish

It was truly horrible that Ran was dealt such a awful card in her life. An alcoholic father, a workaholic mother and an innate disposition of wanting to please people whom she loved.

She could have lived with the first two cards but it was the third one that made her life difficult. Wanting to do the best she could at academics so she could get praised by her absent parents, wanting to have friends so that she could answer her mother’s questions about her friendships with conviction, wanting to work so that she could take care of the monetary burdens… wants, wants, wants.

To be honest, all she wanted was peace. To not be involved in her separated yet together parents’ tumultuous relationship. Sometimes thinking about her family made her chest hurt and throat tickle. She loved her mother and she loved her father. But she didn’t love them together. And when she came to realize that at the age of twenty, she finally let go.

She had worried and schemed to get her parents back together practically her whole life but now, she knew that if they didn’t want to be together, all her efforts would be in vain. So, at the age of twenty, with a heavy heart, she decided to let her family go. She stopped calling her mother to fix a date with her father, she stopped pestering her father about giving a fuck about her mother. And then came the realization that she was lonely. So lonely that her heart ached.

She hadn’t managed to make friends, life long friends people would go on about, because she was focused on bettering herself so that her parents would praise her. On the flip side, she had gotten into one of the best universities in Tokyo and was studying her desired subject about Medicine. Most days she could live with the pay off. Having a stable career would help in surviving alone a lot.

People in her class would invite her to hang out and she would say yes, just to sit there and observe them. For some reason, the buzzing chatter of her classmates soothed her a lot. They would gossip or discuss about classes or professors and Ran would sit there with a slight smile on her face and her heart feeling lighter. She craved companionship. 

With that thought in her mind, she decided to open up with her college classmates. She knew the names of the people in her class, thankfully and so, with a cheery smile she used to plaster on at her high school, she slid into the conversation about the college’s professors.

“… And Tsukiyama-sensei gives us so maaaany diagrams to draw,” Hayami-san was whining, “I have a part time job to do and then that teacher’s homework… I don’t get the time to unwind at all.” 

“He does push us a lot,” Ran said and noticed the sort of surprised looks of her three classmates, though they quickly covered it up. 

“You find it hard too, huh, Ran-san?” Sonoko-san said, “With your grades, I thought it would be easy for you to catch up.” 

Ran quickly grabbed the opportunity to continue the conversation, thankful that the atmosphere didn’t turn awkward at her sudden interruption, “Ah, well, I don’t actually have a lot to do, you know? Mostly studies and a part time job as an assistant at a detective agency.”

“Detective agency?!” The three of them exclaimed and faced Ran fully.

Her smile grew sheepish as she said, “Ahhhh, but, nothing interesting happens when I’m there. Usually, I just have to compile all the data and file them.” 

“But, still! You must have found something interesting there!” Aoko-san said, with her eyes shining with excitement, “A case? Or a person? Have you ever helped the detective, Ran-san?” 

Ran shook her head no, “I’m not allowed to work on the cases, Aoko-san. As a matter of fact, I’ve not even seen the detective yet, I usually work in the evening, after my classes are done.”

Hearing that, the three of them looked concerned and Hayami-san spoke, “Ran-san, are you sure that’s safe? I mean,” she shared a look full of concern with Sonoko-san and Aoko-san, “you have never seen whom you work with, right? What if it’s some super shady guy?” 

Ran chuckled a bit and said, “It’s okay, Hayami-san. I’m trained in karate. Plus, the agency I work at is super reputed. It’s just that the guy whom I’m assigned to is very, very busy and even other employees have said that it’s rare to see him in the office. He works at very odd hours.” 

That did nothing to alleviate their concern and Ran felt a bit touched. This was the first time she was having a proper conversation with them and the four of them were practically strangers yet Hayami-san, Sonoko-san and Aoko-san were so concerned about her well being. 

Aoko-san was apprehensive and she murmured, “If you say so, Ran-san,” and then in a more chipper tone asked, “Which agency do you work at?”

“Kudo Detective Agency.” Ran replied.

Hearing that, the three of them were even more animated in their response, “THE Kudo Detective Agency?” Aoko-san gasped in disbelief. 

“Wait, the famous ex-policeman one?!” Sonoko-san exclaimed.

“The one that has this hot, handsome guy working there?” Hayami-san said.

All of them turned to look at Hayami-san and she shrugged sheepishly, “What? Everybody knows that there is this rumored handsome guy who works there and is seen like once in every millennia,” she said sarcastically.

Sonoko-san swatted her friend and Aoko-san clicked her tongue, waving her comment away and turned her attention back to Ran, “You really work at Kudo Detective Agency, Ran-san? Oh, wow. It houses the best of the best detectives.” 

Sonoko-san nodded and said, “Damn, you must have impressed the Kudo husband and wife duo a lot. Seeing that they have such a strict policy and criteria to employ people.”

And with that, the three of them were off chattering about the elusive Kudos. Ran chipped in whenever she could but mostly listened while they were talking. She didn’t have the heart to tell them that only reason she works there is to spite her father in an act of rebellion. 

The Kudous were not the reason her father was a piss poor detective but she had spent her teenagers listening to him whine about how Kudo Yuusaku was responsible for the lack of cases in Mouri Detective Agency. And at that time, Ran did what she could to help him, guide her high school classmates in need, put up posters, advertise in newspapers… she did what she could but her father was too prideful to take small cases and too incompetent to work properly on big ones. And by then, the ex-policeman Yuusaku and ex-actress-turned-housewife had established a proper detective agency housing some of the brightest, youngest detectives. 

When she cut ties with her family, she decided to do what she wanted. And so, she offered her services to the Kudous. She knew she could be an excellent assistant and she proved herself by working for a week under Yuusaku Kudo herself. From organization to appointments to little treats or snacks for the clients… she did what she could have been doing for her father. 

And by the time the week had ended, she was employed with a good salary. She thought that working there would hinder her Medicine study course but the detective whom she was assigned to had a set of orders ready when she entered his office. 

She was surprised at first because no one was there to greet her on her first day, just a piece of paper telling her not to come during day time and that her work was to organize the papers that were kept on the table. Sure, there were scribbled notes scattered everywhere on the table but a quick glance clued her in that those were case notes. Case notes of multiple cases, to be exact. 

She found it extremely odd that the detective whom she was supposed to assist had never shown himself. All she knew was that his name was Kudou Shinichi, Kudou Yuusaku and Yukiko’s son, and was an excellent detective. He had grown up in the States and had come back at the age of twenty with plethora of experience under his belt. 

Ran chalked up never seeing him to some weird quirk of his. Truthfully, she liked working there. The Kudou couple treated her kindly, the assistants of other detectives were warm and welcoming, even the other detectives greeted her and indulged in small talk. The work wasn’t difficult, the pay was excellent, the timing fit her college schedule perfectly; everything was great except for never having seen her superior’s face.

Ran sighed as she brought herself back to present. Aoko-san was talking about the lab work they had just finished and Ran smiled lightly. Having friends like them would be nice, she thought. And swore to herself that she would make the effort to know them better. 

That day, she felt very calm as she entered her office. The Kudo Shinichi plaque at the door greeted her and she opened it, mentally gearing herself up for the stack of papers that was bound to be there, only to be greeted by a man, who was shuffling through them. 

“Umm… hello?” Ran asked hesitantly, not wanting to jump to conclusions about who this man was.

The man faced her and smiled a bright smile, which left Ran disarmed. “Hello, you must be Mouri Ran-san?” he asked.

Ran felt a little discombobulated, she hadn’t anticipated someone being inside the office. “Uhh… yes, I am. And you are…?” she didn’t want to presume who he was but she had a little inkling of whom he could be.

“Ah, sorry for introducing myself late,” and he walked up to her and held his hand up for a greeting, “My name is Kudou Shinichi… and ahh, I’m supposed to be working here,” he said in a playful tone with a smirk that showed a dimple on his left cheek.

The only thought that crossed her mind at that moment was what Hayami-san had said a few hours before. He really was a gorgeous man. 

good morning starshine. the earth says ✨hello✨

Neelix, Tom, B’Elanna, and Harry sat down in the Mess Hall for a final bowl of Leola Root Soup before Neelix left Voyager forever to go live on the Talaxian colony. “Before I leave there’s something I need to pass along,” Neelix said as he slid a PADD to the center of the table.
“What’s this?” Tom picked it up and started reading.
“It’s the plans for Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay’s dream wedding.”
“Wedding?!” Harry exclaimed.
“I’ve been planning it since the first year I came aboard Voyager.” Neelix said with a smile.
”Do they know about this?” Tom asked.
“No,” Neelix replied, “I don’t think they really want the crew to know that there’s anything between them yet.”

Harry shot him a skeptical look, “There’s nothing going on between the captain and Chakotay.”
“Oh, come on Harry, don’t be so naive,” B’Elanna chimed in, “Of course there is. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the way they look at each other.”
“Okay, there is an attraction,” Harry consented, “but that doesn’t mean-”
“It’s much more than an attraction,” B’Elanna interjected resolutely.

Tom continued to scroll through the PADD until he reached the suggestions for the bridesmaids’ dresses. “B’Elanna, I think you’ll look nice in this one,” he said with a playful smile.
B’Elanna grabbed the PADD, “Neelix, I am not wearing that. And I doubt Seven will go for it either.”
Neelix looked over at it, “But it’s traditional Talaxian formal wear. Very colorful and festive!”
“A littletoofestive,”
“This I’ve got to see.” Harry said as he took the PADD from B’Elanna. He took one look and started laughing.

“What’s so funny, ensign?” Chakotay had just walked into the Mess Hall.
“Um, nothing, sir,” Harry panicked, “it’s just uh-”
“Lets see it,”
Chakotay took it from Harry. Harry put his head in his hand and sunk down into his chair. Tom and B’Elanna continued eating the soup and tried not to laugh. Neelix looked eagerly, and a little nervously, at Chakotay as he read on.

After what Harry thought to be an eternity Chakotay handed him back the PADD. After a few moments Chakotay left, but not before giving them a piece of advice:
“Kathryn prefers roses to carnations.”

Fluttershy Stimboard

//

/ /

//

For@annie-quill

[static]
[slightly distorted]
The trees are dying again.
You know it, I know it.
The trees know it.
They have known it for decades, centuries in some cases.
The shiver of cyclic, symbolic death.
A rattle in the cold night air.
A rustle in the footsteps of a hungry deer.
It is October and something is different.
It is October and the trees draw the crackling red and orange curtain in the year’s final act.
It is October, and so listeners, dear listeners,
Night Vale community radio is proud to introduce
The October Monologues.  

Faceless Old Woman: I am lonely. Oh, I see people. I see lots of people every day. I see you right now. I see you, Caleb, sitting in your rolling desk chair, hunched over your computer. I am a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home, watching you download yet another video game, Caleb.

But seeing people and being with people are different things. Different ideas altogether. I miss touch most of all. A father’s hand, a friend’s arms. A lover’s chest. I still touch, am touched, but it is not the same. It is not a mutual touch. My touch is unwelcome, unfriendly, unwanted. Yet I touch because I love.

And I love you, Caleb. I do. I know you don’t believe me after what I did to you tonight, but I do. My love is not romantic nor maternal. It’s not platonic, either. I love you the way a deer loves a cornfield. It is safe, it is nourishing. It is in its DNA to want to be there, to hide, to eat, to play. You’re very much like a cornstalk, Caleb. You are loved and you are benign. Better than benign, you are a contribution to this world. The cornstalk is unaware that a deer loves it so much that it will bend it and stomp it until its edible morsels spill out from its crumpled empty husk. The cornstalks, there are so many cornstalks, do not understand that they are so loved by the deer as to be devoured.

You’ve seen a kitten before, Caleb, I know you have. Sometimes kittens are so cute. So so so so cute that you wanna put them in your mouth. Do you understand that kind of love, Caleb, that kind of touch? You do not, no one does. And this is why I’m lonely. But I think you know that. You’re different. You’re lonely too. That’s not what makes you different, we’re all lonely in our own way.

You’re different, Caleb, because you know I am here. You see me even when I do not want to be seen. No one has been able to do that in at least 200 years.
Sometimes you speak to me. Not in terror, not in rage; I’ve heard many of these voices in my life from those who feared and detested my presence.
No, you ask me my name. I won’t tell you, not yet. You tell me about your day, I’m sorry your new boss is so mean, I will rectify this. And last night, you prepared a dinner for me. You’re not a good cook, I can smell that much, but it was your gesture of generosity that touched me. You made cashio e pepe, a recipe you learned from TikTok, and you prepared a bowl just for me. You waited to see if I would appear, and when I did not, you told me you understood wanting to eat alone, so you left it for me on the dining room table, as you went to play the new flight simulator.

Few men have ever been this kind to me before being frightened into it first, or without using their kindness as a disguise. I think you genuinely understand your own quiet desperation among the mass of men. And in turn, you understand others too.
I don’t trust the kindness of men, Caleb. I don’t trust the kindness of women, either. Or anyone else’s kindness, to be truthful, but I especially don’t trust men’s kindness. There are exceptions. Andre, whose kindness was loyalty and honesty, and Albert, although his was a much different kind of kindness.

But Caleb, 23-year-old, unshaven, video game loving, boss hating aimless Caleb, your kindness frightens me. I’m scared of what you want, what it is you plan to take from me. Kind men have stolen my childhood, my morals, my money, my love, my life, and my family. What will you take from me, Caleb, that I have not already lost? I’m afraid. I’m afraid to respond to your gentle bait of friendship, because I am afraid you will take my loneliness from me. I am lonely, and that is a choice I have made for myself.

One day, Caleb, you will die. I know exactly when. It will not be of my hand, although I will do nothing to stop it. It is my fate, my path, to know such things. And in your death, you will return my loneliness to me, and it will be a horror to behold, bloody and misshapen. My loneliness, not recognizing its former owner, will howl an unholy and unceasing cry, and I will not be able to bear it.

This is what I fear, Caleb, and this is why I took the bowl of cashio e pepe you left for me and hurled it against the wall, just missing your cheek. I’m not sad that you screamed at me, I’m happy that you did so. This is how it has to be. We are not enemies, Caleb, no no. I love you deeply. Deeper than you can know. I am your deer Caleb, and you are my corn.

Cecil: The fiery flash of fall leaves stuns us, captivates us. Fireworks in slow motion. Or the crackling embers of a finishing flame. Upon the leaves are written instructions for how to make oxygen, how to give life, with every exhalation. How  to find flair in fading grace, and how to raise new life by falling to your death. The leaves know they will return again, so much will return again. We return now to the October Monologues.

Michelle Nguyen: There’s this new song I like, but I don’t wanna tell you what it is. I find it kind of embarrassing. Usually I love to talk about my favorite music. There was that summer I was obsessed with the new single by Saint Vincent. The single came in the form of a glazed vase containing three blue flowers. Only one was ever made, and I got the only copy. I found it very catchy, but the flowers eventually died. Or the year I spent listening over and over to that new Janelle Monae album. I forget the name, but the cover was a black and white picture of a well, and if you didn’t share it with someone else in 7 days, you would die. Of course no one ever died, because the album was so good, people just couldn’t stop telling their friends to listen.

My favorite song of all time is a blank cassette tape still in its plastic wrapper. It was owned by a man named Gary Joy. He was a real estate lawyer, reasonably successful, but he always dreamed of being a singer/songwriter. He dreamed all the time of quitting his job and writing songs, but he had never even written one song. Then one day, in a fit of optimism and energy, he bought this cassette, intending to make his first memo. But the day got away from him, and then the week, and then the rest of his life, and he never quit being a lawyer, and he never even wrote one song. This blank cassette tape, still in its wrapper, contains the potential of all the songs he could have written but never did, which is better and more powerful than any song anyone’s actually managed to write. The potential of the thing is always more perfect than the reality of the thing. However, and this is the crucial drawback, the potential is absolutely useless and the reality, however imperfect, can be quite useful.
Anyway, I like to hold Gary Joy’s unwritten demo and imagine what it would be like. Hold on, sorry. There’s a customer.

[bell dings] Welcome to Dark Owl Records. What? No, no. No. No! No. OK, bye! [bell dings]
Sorry about that. Some people are so unreasonable. I don’t even know what a Taylor Swift is.

But there’s a new song I like, and it’s not cool like my other favorite songs. It’s not a song that fits the kind of image I like to project. When I put on my mirrored leggings, my extra long jorts, and my really big hat, people expect something from me. They expect me to be on the cutting edge. They expect me only to be into bands that aren’t popular yet, or will never be popular, or that frankly don’t know how to play their instruments very well.
And the song I like now is not any of those things. It’s… ordinary. It’s… popular. I don’t wanna say what it is. Remember when I only listened to the sound of beez buzzing? That was a good summer. Of course I got stung once or twice or 30 times. [sighs] Hold on, sorry, there’s a customer.

[bell dings] Welcome to Dark Owl Records! Hey. Hey! Hey! Hey! HEEEEY!
Thanks, nice to see you again. [bell dings]
Sorry about that.

I’m tired of being cool. I was going to say trying to be cool, but trying implies the possibility of failure, and there has never been a moment when I’ve failed to be cool. But here’s the hard truth I’ve come up against: being cool is a young person’s game. And that’s not because young people are better or more interesting than older people. God no. God no. God no! It’s that coolness itself is a concept tied to youth. Coolness is a reactionary manifestation of insecurity. The more insecure you are, the cooler you need to be. It’s colorful plumage.
But as I’ve gotten older, I no londer need flashy plumage. I just wanna sit in the comfort of who I am, and not worry about what that looks like from the outside.

Anyway, I can’t stop listening to “Karma Police” by Radiohead. It’s just… a good song, you know? Hold on, sorry, there’s a customer.

[bell dings] You! You’ll never catch me alive! [sound of running] [bell dings]

Cecil:An abundance of words, words falling, fluttering to the earth. Words crunching beneath our feet. They were beautiful once, the words. Now they are beginning to rot, to wilt, to compost, to ferment new growth. To fertilize new words growing upon great trunks of paragraphs and chapters, but not now. Those will come later. Now the words sputter and drop in spiraling arcs to the ground. Here, then, are the final few brightly painted words falling upon you now. The October Monologues.

Steve Carlsberg: What does it mean to be believed? I’ve always known that Night Vale isn’t like other places. As long as I can remember, I could see that. I could also see that no one else could see it. I was alone in my knowledge. Knowledge may be power, but power is often lonely. My grandfather knew. He could see that I was like him.
“Steve,” he would say, “us Carlsbergs have always been the town pariahs, but just because they hate you, doesn’t mean they’re right.”
I would sit at night as a kid and listen to Cecil on the radio. He was the same age as he is now, and at the time he seemed so wise. But I would hear him dismiss what I knew shouldn’t be dismissed. I would hear him cover up what should be uncovered, and I would know with a child’s certainty that it was wrong. I loved him still. Everyone in town loves Cecil. It is possible to love someone who you know is doing wrong. It’s terribly easy, in fact.

What does it mean to be believed?
As a teenager, I started trying to express what I saw about the world. I gave a presentation in my social studies class called “Night Vale – there’s literally nowhere like it”, and I thought it was informative. The class all plugged their ears in unison. The teacher stopped me a minute in, glancing nervously at the 8 surveillance cameras monitoring the classroom.
“Are you trying to get us all killed?” the teacher hissed at me. I remember that her breath smelled like Strawberry Jolly Ranchers, and there was a lose crumb of mascara in the sweat of her temples.
“No,” I said. I didn’t know what to say. It’s not the kind of question that demands a sincere answer. The report earned me a trip to the principal’s office, and then the re-education pit, which honestly is not as bad as its name. I mean, almost not as bad. It’s pretty bad. It’s a pit, for re-education.
So, certainly learned something from that re-education. I learned that you’re equally likely to be punished for being right as you are for being wrong.

What does it mean to be believed? I was a young man entering the workforce, and I had long ago learned to hide away what I knew about my city. I had learned the handshake and the smile, the nod and the necktie, all the signifiers that hid what I truly signified. All of life is a code, and I had been thought the key against my will.

I got a job as a bank teller at the Last Bank of Night Vale. I studied with great interest the townsfolk who came and went there. I learned about their lives and their secrets, and what kind of money they made for the whispered deals out back of quiet parking lots just before the sun went down, pulled up next to a black Sedan that contained their handler who they only knew by a false first name. but I couldn’t forget what I knew, even if I learned to playact that I had. What I know shapes who I am. I can’t close my eyes, not to this town I love. This weird and secret town I love.

What does it mean to be believed?
Then I married into the family of Cecil Palmer, host of Night Vale community radio! And he hated me, because he could see that I knew. And after all these years, my mask had slipped a little. I’d lost my interest in hiding. I wanted to speak the truth as I knew it, nothing could be more threatening to Cecil. His life and livelihood depended on speaking the truth as the City Council wanted it. Or as the Vague yet Menacing government agencies crafted it. And here I was, pointing out to him the sky. There are glowing arrows in the sky, there are dotted lines and arrows and circles. The sky is a chart that explains the entire world! I tried to tell him, and this only made him hate me more. I tried to share who I was with him, and this only made him recoil. 

Abby listened to my stories, but she never shared my enthusiasm for the truth.
“Let it lie,” she would say, “let it lie.”
But that’s he point, I can’t let it lie and I can’t lie! We’ve done that for too long! We’ve let our town sit heavy under the weight of euphemism and half truth, and unless someone just said what they saw for once, we would be crushed eventually by that weight!

And then it all changed. I wasn’t alone. The others saw that we lived in a weird place. And you know what? We kept existing. Our world didn’t end merely because we dared acknowledge it.
Cecil and I are friends now. I haven’t forgotten how he treated me, but I understand it and I forgive it.
Forgiveness and understanding are not the same as forgotten.

What does it mean to be believed?
It means everything. It means all.

Cecil: And as the leaves are done, so are the October Monologues. All that can be said has been said. And all that can be said will be said again.

Today’s proverb: Listen, it might seem like everything’s bad right now.