#but i can learn to be myself in french too
i do understand the experience of yr native language feeling too intimate and close to talk about certain topics, and preferring english instead. it happens to people growing up in non-anglo countries too, like me and most people in my social circles. i experienced that a lot as a mentally ill gay teenager alienated from most of my peers and environment. (i still do to an extent, even though nowadays it’s really a symptom of denial or avoidance for me, if i can’t discuss something in my native language i know it’s because i’m avoiding the topic in my mind in general. it almost serves as an indicator.)
but like it definitely gets better the more you do it.. when i noticed this in myself, i put in effort to read and write in turkish both casually and with purpose, and i started expressing things to myself in turkish and it’s been really valuable to build that connection to myself, my sexuality and my body. it’s also made me a better writer and poet in both turkish and english, and like just overall has been good for my mental wellbeing..
like what im saying is that, it’s possible to overcome that, and for me personally it was necessary for some healing processes to happen. it therefore seems really alarming and concerning to see everyone talk about this and accept it as a fact that just Happens and almost as fate. like you can go and read, write, watch, listen in your language and work thru the uncomfortableness, awkwardness, the crying and weeping and whatever and build that relationship. it’s an uncomfortable but simultaneously very rewarding, exciting and once again, healing process. like i recommend that instead of taking that as an inevitable tbh. like it’s at least partially a choice you (we) made for many valid reasons as a kid / early teen and you (we) can make the other choice to heal those wounds imo, not to be sappy but it is what i think
and personal stuff aside, there is value in building and normalizing the vocabulary and discourse in non-english languages. it helps the people trying to find that vocabulary to talk about themselves right now. i find it to be also politically, just a generally good thing to do..
