Poor Ed: Stede’s a Confusing Gentleman

I can only imagine how confused poor Ed is about what’s going on with Stede at every point in this narrative. He must be such a bizarre mystery to Ed.

Which was exactly what he wanted, really. Something original. Sometimes it hurts to get what you wish for.

From the very beginning, Stede doesn’t behave as expected or predicted. He is an enigma. Even before they meet, Stede’s bizarre choices get Ed’s attention. And once they do meet, Ed seems to be completely unable to put his finger on what Stede is after from him, and forces Ed to question his understanding of reality at every turn.

Ed is flirtswith Stede and makes no secret of it. He is pretty much always trying to seduce Stede, and Stede is extremely receptive to it. He responds so well to Ed’s overtures, but Ed is still left wondering if Stede is actually on the same page.

Ed flirts hard, but obliquely. He doesn’t come right out and say what he wants. He waits for a sign from Stede to go ahead. He prompts and teases, sets up scenarios, but he never gets the sign.

I presume that Ed isn’t a stranger to casual sex, just as Stede’s crew isn’t. There’s probably many good reasons why Izzy assumes Ed and Stede are consummating their relationship on the deck within earshot: Izzy knows Ed’s proclivities, and being in flagrante delicto with a pretty man within view of the crew must not be too far from the Izzy’s expectations.

You’d think Ed would have just gone ahead propositioned Stede directly by that point, given their thick sexual tension and the obvious attraction and affection between them. But Ed doesn’t push it. Maybe because he assumes the landed gentry have different sexual mores and he’s waiting for Stede to initiate if he wants to, or make it clear what the next step is. Maybe he felt from the start that this was different, not so casual, and maybe Ed didn’t want to jeopardize it by trying to speed things up. Hard to say.

But Ed definitely keeps up his seduction game. He teaches Stede flirt!fencing instead of real swordsmanship. It’s all sexual preamble, foreplay and seduction, an attempt to get physical with Stede without coming right out and asking, not a real tutorial. The little pat on the ass should have been an obvious and unmissable sign that this was pure flirting and not actual fighting lessons. But Stede misses the memo completely, embraces the surface reading, and uses his new flirt-fencing techniques in a duel with Izzy.

Stede seems to not see or refuse to acknowledge the subtext of their flirty interactions while at the same time thoroughly enjoying them and seeking them out. As far as Ed can tell, Stede neither confirms nor denies that a full on and very successful seduction campaign is well underway. That has got to be confusing for Ed. Talk about mixed signals!

And then Stede uses only his words to set a boatload of German aristocrats on fire because they hurt Ed’s feelings, and that’s it. Ed’s in love, in lust, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, he is in, he is committed, and he is ready.

Stede tells Ed that he wears fine things well, putting the cherry on top of the most elaborate and effective seduction ever devised, one that outdoes Ed’s strategy by about five billion, and Ed’s completely overcome. He is weak in the knees by that point, and he steps forward for the kiss he is now absolutely starving for, but Stede does not match his vibe. So Ed stops himself short.

Imagine what he’s feeling just then. The confusion, the frustration of it! Stede is smiling at him, fond of him, but sexless. Has he misread all of this? Is that even possible? Ed is now painfully, priapistically in love with Stede and he cannot tell whether or not his feelings are returned. He has either been masterfully seduced by accident by an innocent who doesn’t see Ed as a sexual being or a potential sexual partner, or Stede is playing a game Ed can’t even begin to fathom. Stede continues to make no move, pleasant as ever, even as Ed has been literally begging for it at gunpoint.

Ed suggests maybe it’s time he moved on. There’s no point sticking around mooning over someone who doesn’t want you, right? Or is he trying to prompt a reaction, bring things to a head? Stede makes a plea for him to stay, and Ed’s certainly not going to say no.

When Lucius explains to him that Stede, like everyone else, sees himself as less cool than Ed, that Stede believes he has to work at it be appealing enough for Ed to want to stay, that he’s trying so hard to impress Ed so that he won’t leave him, that Stede really likes him a lot, that must be wonderful to hear, but incredibly confusing. This is not how Ed understands their relationship at all, and he must be trying to slot this information in and make sense of it. Ed must be so utterly unsure of the rules of their interaction, but he is clearly very aware that he needs to communicate his enjoyment even if it’s a lie, and he needs to pass whatever kind of test this. Maybe this is what unlocks a closer relationship with Stede. Ed has no way of knowing!

So Ed is very cautious and very pliant. He hardly knows what to do with himself, and he ends up going along whatever Stede wants, pretending for the sake of Stede’s happiness and in the hopes that this is the final piece of the puzzle. He’s giving Stede a win he’s already more than won: Ed’s admiration and undying love.

But even after all that, Stede doesn’t make a move, which must confuse the heck out of Ed. What does he need to do to win Stede’s heart? Where’s the map into Stede’s pants? Ed should go back to that woman selling overpriced maps and ask her for that one. (Hey Stede, look! A treasure map that leads to the the most prized treasure ever! Want to go on an adventure with me?)

The appearance of Calico Jack, and Stede’s obvious dislike of him, hits Ed hard. That looks like the real answer to that painful question that’s been dangling over his head the whole time: Stede doesn’t actually like the real him, and that’s why all the flirting doesn’t work.

This must be why Stede hasn’t made a move, why they haven’t professed their intense and overwhelming love to each other and made sweet love in the crow’s nest by moonlight. It might have been okay for a laugh, but in the end, Stede wouldn’t really deign to share his bed and his life with a gross lowlife pirate like Calico Jack (and by extension, like Ed). It is only a matter of time before Stede truly accepts what Ed really is and rejects him completely, as he does when he evicts Jack from The Revenge. Ed should stick with a sure thing, Calico Jack, his own kind. Ed is miserable about it.

Even without any proof that he’s wrong about Stede’s feelings about him, Ed returns to The Revenge and sacrifices himself rather than let Stede die because of Calico Jack’s betrayal. Because even if Stede doesn’t have the same calibre of feelings for him, Ed absolutely loves Stede with all that he has.

What really clinches all this for me is the scene on the beach when they finally kiss. Ed has reached his limit. He’s going to have to use his words, and you can see that in spite of everything, he has no idea if what he’s saying to Stede will be well-received or reciprocated. There’s a little question mark at the end of the sentence when he tells Stede that all he really wants is him, and that breaks my heart. The only encouragement Ed needs is that Stede smiles instead of recoiling from that admission. And Ed can’t wait another second to kiss him, because he is a house on fire, and he finally got the faintest glimmer of reciprocity.

So I understand why Ed doesn’t question why Stede didn’t join him at the dock. It doesn’t make sense, Stede agreed to go with him, but when has anything Stede does ever really made sense to Ed? Ed has been anticipating this rejection from the start, and now he’s got it.

When the time comes that Stede is completely straightforward and clear with Ed and no longer giving mixed signals, no longer being so deeply confusing, flirting with Ed and rejecting him at the same time, I can’t even imagine how happy it will make them both. To have the truth out in front of them, plainly and undeniably.

When Stede pulls that rowboat into the water heading back out to find his found family and his love, there is great certainty and great clarity in him. He knows what he wants. He’s not hiding from it or ignoring it anymore. He knows he loves Ed. He knows Ed loves him. Imagine how it will feel for Ed to hear that, and to see the absence of hesitation in Stede. To be enveloped in it and not have to doubt it.

The volume of that passion would certainly be an earful and an eyeful for Izzy, if he happens to be in the vicinity!