I can only imagine how confused poor Ed is about what’s going on with Stede at every point in this narrative. He must be such a bizarre mystery to Ed.
Which was exactly what he wanted, really. Something original. Sometimes it hurts to get what you wish for.
From the very beginning, Stede doesn’t behave as expected or predicted. He is an enigma. Even before they meet, Stede’s bizarre choices get Ed’s attention. And once they do meet, Ed seems to be completely unable to put his finger on what Stede is after from him, and forces Ed to question his understanding of reality at every turn.
Ed is flirtswith Stede and makes no secret of it. He is pretty much always trying to seduce Stede, and Stede is extremely receptive to it. He responds so well to Ed’s overtures, but Ed is still left wondering if Stede is actually on the same page.
Ed flirts hard, but obliquely. He doesn’t come right out and say what he wants. He waits for a sign from Stede to go ahead. He prompts and teases, sets up scenarios, but he never gets the sign.
I presume that Ed isn’t a stranger to casual sex, just as Stede’s crew isn’t. There’s probably many good reasons why Izzy assumes Ed and Stede are consummating their relationship on the deck within earshot: Izzy knows Ed’s proclivities, and being in flagrante delicto with a pretty man within view of the crew must not be too far from the Izzy’s expectations.
You’d think Ed would have just gone ahead propositioned Stede directly by that point, given their thick sexual tension and the obvious attraction and affection between them. But Ed doesn’t push it. Maybe because he assumes the landed gentry have different sexual mores and he’s waiting for Stede to initiate if he wants to, or make it clear what the next step is. Maybe he felt from the start that this was different, not so casual, and maybe Ed didn’t want to jeopardize it by trying to speed things up. Hard to say.
But Ed definitely keeps up his seduction game. He teaches Stede flirt!fencing instead of real swordsmanship. It’s all sexual preamble, foreplay and seduction, an attempt to get physical with Stede without coming right out and asking, not a real tutorial. The little pat on the ass should have been an obvious and unmissable sign that this was pure flirting and not actual fighting lessons. But Stede misses the memo completely, embraces the surface reading, and uses his new flirt-fencing techniques in a duel with Izzy.
Stede seems to not see or refuse to acknowledge the subtext of their flirty interactions while at the same time thoroughly enjoying them and seeking them out. As far as Ed can tell, Stede neither confirms nor denies that a full on and very successful seduction campaign is well underway. That has got to be confusing for Ed. Talk about mixed signals!
And then Stede uses only his words to set a boatload of German aristocrats on fire because they hurt Ed’s feelings, and that’s it. Ed’s in love, in lust, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, he is in, he is committed, and he is ready.
Stede tells Ed that he wears fine things well, putting the cherry on top of the most elaborate and effective seduction ever devised, one that outdoes Ed’s strategy by about five billion, and Ed’s completely overcome. He is weak in the knees by that point, and he steps forward for the kiss he is now absolutely starving for, but Stede does not match his vibe. So Ed stops himself short.
Imagine what he’s feeling just then. The confusion, the frustration of it! Stede is smiling at him, fond of him, but sexless. Has he misread all of this? Is that even possible? Ed is now painfully, priapistically in love with Stede and he cannot tell whether or not his feelings are returned. He has either been masterfully seduced by accident by an innocent who doesn’t see Ed as a sexual being or a potential sexual partner, or Stede is playing a game Ed can’t even begin to fathom. Stede continues to make no move, pleasant as ever, even as Ed has been literally begging for it at gunpoint.
Ed suggests maybe it’s time he moved on. There’s no point sticking around mooning over someone who doesn’t want you, right? Or is he trying to prompt a reaction, bring things to a head? Stede makes a plea for him to stay, and Ed’s certainly not going to say no.
When Lucius explains to him that Stede, like everyone else, sees himself as less cool than Ed, that Stede believes he has to work at it be appealing enough for Ed to want to stay, that he’s trying so hard to impress Ed so that he won’t leave him, that Stede really likes him a lot, that must be wonderful to hear, but incredibly confusing. This is not how Ed understands their relationship at all, and he must be trying to slot this information in and make sense of it. Ed must be so utterly unsure of the rules of their interaction, but he is clearly very aware that he needs to communicate his enjoyment even if it’s a lie, and he needs to pass whatever kind of test this. Maybe this is what unlocks a closer relationship with Stede. Ed has no way of knowing!
So Ed is very cautious and very pliant. He hardly knows what to do with himself, and he ends up going along whatever Stede wants, pretending for the sake of Stede’s happiness and in the hopes that this is the final piece of the puzzle. He’s giving Stede a win he’s already more than won: Ed’s admiration and undying love.
But even after all that, Stede doesn’t make a move, which must confuse the heck out of Ed. What does he need to do to win Stede’s heart? Where’s the map into Stede’s pants? Ed should go back to that woman selling overpriced maps and ask her for that one. (Hey Stede, look! A treasure map that leads to the the most prized treasure ever! Want to go on an adventure with me?)
The appearance of Calico Jack, and Stede’s obvious dislike of him, hits Ed hard. That looks like the real answer to that painful question that’s been dangling over his head the whole time: Stede doesn’t actually like the real him, and that’s why all the flirting doesn’t work.
This must be why Stede hasn’t made a move, why they haven’t professed their intense and overwhelming love to each other and made sweet love in the crow’s nest by moonlight. It might have been okay for a laugh, but in the end, Stede wouldn’t really deign to share his bed and his life with a gross lowlife pirate like Calico Jack (and by extension, like Ed). It is only a matter of time before Stede truly accepts what Ed really is and rejects him completely, as he does when he evicts Jack from The Revenge. Ed should stick with a sure thing, Calico Jack, his own kind. Ed is miserable about it.
Even without any proof that he’s wrong about Stede’s feelings about him, Ed returns to The Revenge and sacrifices himself rather than let Stede die because of Calico Jack’s betrayal. Because even if Stede doesn’t have the same calibre of feelings for him, Ed absolutely loves Stede with all that he has.
What really clinches all this for me is the scene on the beach when they finally kiss. Ed has reached his limit. He’s going to have to use his words, and you can see that in spite of everything, he has no idea if what he’s saying to Stede will be well-received or reciprocated. There’s a little question mark at the end of the sentence when he tells Stede that all he really wants is him, and that breaks my heart. The only encouragement Ed needs is that Stede smiles instead of recoiling from that admission. And Ed can’t wait another second to kiss him, because he is a house on fire, and he finally got the faintest glimmer of reciprocity.
So I understand why Ed doesn’t question why Stede didn’t join him at the dock. It doesn’t make sense, Stede agreed to go with him, but when has anything Stede does ever really made sense to Ed? Ed has been anticipating this rejection from the start, and now he’s got it.
When the time comes that Stede is completely straightforward and clear with Ed and no longer giving mixed signals, no longer being so deeply confusing, flirting with Ed and rejecting him at the same time, I can’t even imagine how happy it will make them both. To have the truth out in front of them, plainly and undeniably.
When Stede pulls that rowboat into the water heading back out to find his found family and his love, there is great certainty and great clarity in him. He knows what he wants. He’s not hiding from it or ignoring it anymore. He knows he loves Ed. He knows Ed loves him. Imagine how it will feel for Ed to hear that, and to see the absence of hesitation in Stede. To be enveloped in it and not have to doubt it.
The volume of that passion would certainly be an earful and an eyeful for Izzy, if he happens to be in the vicinity!
“Well its canon so it’s fine and you can’t complain-” okay hold up you little shit, that’s not what canon should be used for in the least, and I’m gonna give you such a smack if you use it as an excuse so you can be an asshole and ruin everyone’s good time in an RP. Muns control the story, canonical material aside, we’re never gonna be 100% canon. So if you’re getting complaints about your behavior because it’s disrupting play, ‘but it’s canon’ is not an excuse to keep doing it. If you’re ruining play by saying ‘but it’s not canon!’ it’s also not an excuse. More bitching under the cut, ‘cause you guys love it when I get pissed and explain things to death.
If you are getting complaints about your RP behavior, you gotta pause, pull you head out of your ass, and consider the fact that even if it’s shown in canon, it is not automatically appropriate for roleplay. Roleplay is a mix of writing together for fun and keeping true to canon. If you destroy either side of this equation to the point of detriment to RP, then something is wrong. Fun always, but always, outranks canon. Here, little math for ya. Fun > Canon. Following? Great.
The other important part to remember about RP is a balance of Crisis, and Hope. If you remove either, the story fails. Your heroes and villains and those who are inbetween need these things. Crisis is a catalyst of change. This is true even if the crisis is getting your homework done on time, or stopping the giant evil bad guy riding a meteor from wiping out half of the galaxy. If someone magically solves it for your character, it solves your goals, and the RP ends.
Same for Hope. Your character’s hopes and dreams are also goals, but beyond that if your character has no hope of beating another character… literally no hope… and the entire RP is about them just losing? No one wants to play with that. (Except kinksters, I see you guys. You do you, friend.) It gets boring fast when Superman just punches you and wins whenever you try something. This is why comic characters powers flux so much, the writers are the players. They change the characters to make the plot work, even if it’s not 100% true to last time someone wrote the character. The point is having fun reading THIS comic right NOW.
Just like comic writers, you are a human being behind a character, and regardless of who you play, it’s your responsibility to make sure you use them effectively for the goal of telling a story. If your character is problematic to your RP group, then you are at fault. Not your character. Not your canon. It depends on you as the player/mun to modulate your character’s behavior to fit the company you keep. "BUT my character is a jerk IC!“ and? You are not your character. If you are causing people to make OOC complaints, then they are harmed OOC. Canon is not a golden ticket to being the biggest jerk about something you can, and getting away with it.
“My power can do this, my character does this, my Canon says this or that.” Sure, fine, I’m not gonna argue that, but if you kill the fun of an RP by having no give and take, or if you make people feel like shit out of character, you aren’t playing for the sake of growth or story. You’re playing because it gives you the right to lord over others, with your personality, and your powers. Those playing like this are generally folk who have a bad time out of character. Your life isn’t perfect, and you take it out in RP because it’s where you have more control. Either that or you just abuse people for kicks because you like the feel of power and may need to check out therapy to help you figure out why you feel this urge to hurt others so you can help your relationships and find a constructive way to deal with the sadism. One way or another the act itself is still an asshole thing to do though.
The people who respond to your abuse get hurt, and then they feel like they need to put up defenses. They become more suspicious and aggressive towards new people and cliques form because outside their friend-circle, there’s danger and those who harm others. This means newbies come in, and they don’t see a place for themselves. Usually they get hurt by the jerks who will take on anyone even new folks. No one is there to warn the newbies when this happens, and they get hurt by the cliques as well, because no one will help them for fear they’re a stranger who will hurt them too. So they build up walls, make a little clique, and become a wall against more newbies.
It’s a bad cycle my friend. It’s not 100% based on this behavior, human nature is to make a small functioning group because it’s more stable and has less drama and personality conflict issues, but this helps make things worse.
So think about situations. If your character is a metahuman for example, someone beyond what is considered typical for humans, then using those powers against normal humans without OOC permission is bad. It’s bullying. Just cut and clear, using powers to do whatever you want to people against their consent is fucking bullying. Period. There’s no getting around it. None.
No ‘it’s just RP don’t be so serious’. That’s a lie you tell yourself, that RP can be gotten anywhere, and it’s just writing that means nothing. People still exist behind these names, and having shit forced on them when they say no is still bad. If someone is uncomfortable, they are uncomfortable, regardless of what is happening to put them there. Even if it’s not happening to them in real life it’s still happening, and you’re doing that to an actual person when you play the ‘lol it’s just rp’ card.
People are allowed to RP in any fashion they so desire, so long as they are not directly harming the experience of anyone else. That second half is extremely important to remember. If a situation arises and someone is uncomfortable, if your actions towards them are responsible, you need to stop doing those actions. As a rule of thumb, if your actions are not towards them, and if they can ignore what your are doing without explicitly saying they are ignoring it, then you can do whatever you fuckin’ want (within the rules of an area). If they have to deny that you are doing something, it’s within the no-no range of inflicting shit on other people.
They can police what you do to them, because they have the rights to their persona’s body. It’s an extension of them even if it’s not physical, even if it’s not a self insert, even if it’s ‘just writing’. They still choose to act as, and therefore think and react as, that character. They put themselves in their place so they can understand what to write next. Because they view things from the perspective of the character, it effects them similarly mentally to having it happen to themselves. This is not a bad thing.
Yes, some people take it too far. They start taking OOC as against them or IC as really happening 100%. That’s bad. But IC to IC interactions, with a clearly defined fiction/reality line? Acceptable as all hell! Perfect in fact! As long as you know real life is completely different than your fictional life (and thus don’t do the ‘but our characters are together so we are together OOCly’ thing), you can fall as deeply into your character as you like for a scene. In fact, I encourage it, because it makes your writing much more lush, realistic, and enjoyable. It’s visible when you love your character and understand them as a person, and not just as a fictional construct you’re making stabs in the dark with.
Just recognize if someone is a little annoyed you just tried to smash their character with a big old Hulk fist, when they were just chatting with a friend, that their annoyance is entirely reasonable! We write so we can experience things, emotions and feelings, we can’t get from actions we do in real life. We wear faces of other people, and allow ourselves to feel that. The extremes of human experience are not at the fingertips of everyone, and therefore we seek it because we are a curious species who wants to understand more.
Using canonical material to attack others in an unfair way, especially if they complain, is wrong. Using advantages, purely for the sake of using those advantages, is extremely unwarranted. You basically just want to hurt other people’s feelings, and have found an ‘acceptable’ way to do it when you randomly jump into a room and kill everyone. Or when you force yourself into someone’s mind. Or you’re invincible and keep cackling and attacking people who clearly aren’t here for it and have not given you consent. It gives you pleasure to annoy, and alarm other people, whether it’s to get attention (good or bad) or because you’re frustrated and want to take it out on others.
Just don’t be surprised if they block you.
Another point is, if people are RPing something without you, and they’re having a good old time, you don’t need to point out they aren’t being canon. You are not the canon police. You’re not there to inform them that everything they do has to be canon. They can play AUs. They can even be completely out of character, playing someone as the opposite of who they are in series. A cute, sniffly, heart broken version of a big, tough, never say die character may not sync with whatyou want to play with, and you are completely valid if you say ‘this isn’t for me’ and walk away from it. You can even ask them to change if you are going to play with them. If they say no, or if you don’t intend to play with them though. Leave them alone.
Those kids playing everyone as wolves, and making Mary Sue babies, and mucking over canon so badly you can’t recognize it with their friends? They’re having fun. Something you want to find, something you’re looking for, something everyone would adore having the ability to have with such a simple thing. Why would you take it away from them?
Yeah, what they’re doing isn’t a universally fun thing. Not everyone’s going to enjoy that same RP. In fact, a lot of people will never RP with the wolf version of Sherlock who had magical puppies with Watson because they asked a forest dragon for help. Also Sherlock is the alpha of the pack, and uses his super awesome detective skills to hunt deer, and he goes into heat. I’ve made posts about the concept of going outside a certain range of canon, because yes, they might want to change if they’re not getting RP outside their friends. But I’m certainly not gonna bust up their party if I’m not invited by them choosing to read my posts and understand I’m not out to stop them from doing it entirely. Just, don’t do it to people who don’t want it. Stick tags on it so we can look away, maybe a read more. Enjoy your guilty pleasure.
It’s like childhood. Headless-Barbie #3 and Gay Biker Ken didn’t need a reason to visit the giant plushie tiger’s kingdom to beg for their very own adopted McDonald’s toy pet. It made sense to the kids playing. Do you want to be the parent that walked in, and said that was impossible? That told them they had to fit by societies expectations, and that magical tiger kingdoms don’t exist? Do you want to be the adult who made them stop dreaming, to stop looking at things and seeing stories and fun, and instead focus on cold hard facts? To make you grow-up? To make you start judging yourself, and what you do so hard you’re afraid to do anything?
Nah, so s’long as they don’t try to force you into it and are having fun without you, y’big tough realist with all your canon material packed in neat suitcases so you can prove from this one scene in this one thing means your character would smile at something, don’t bitch. Just say no thank you, and leave them to their fun. They have a right to it.
So in the end, you have two major ways to misuse canon. Both of them use it to force others to play something they don’t want to play (or to make an RP fall apart because you remove the crisis/hope). Be it because your character is forcibly beating theirs up, or whether you’re the guy saying ‘you can’t play that it’s wrong’. Both are bad. When someone asks you, ‘hey is this canonical?’ go ahead and drag out them facts for them. When someone is curious and wants to learn, have at it. When someone says ‘you know it would be fun for me to RP my modern-realistic cop character as being taken to the cleaners by a fairy godmother,’ then by jove, have your fun. Just, consent, kindness, moderate your character’s powers with your actual human behind the screen’s empathy and intelligence. Then everyone will be happier.
