#but you should try to hear it instead of getting defensive
I want to explain a little how I view misdeeds.
I think it is fundamentally incorrect to label people as good or bad. No one is born inherently good. No one is born inherently bad. Actions are good or bad, specifically because of how they impact others. One bad deed does not erase future potential for good.
Why do I think this is a necessary mindset for life? Based on our upbringing and our environment, we may have deep understanding in some areas, and blind spots in others. It is inevitable that we will all do something that, looking back, was ill-informed or harmful. By perceiving ourselves and others through a dynamic rather than a static lens, we acknowledge that mistakes are a material reality of life, that they do not indicate inherent value, and that growth is possible.
I feel like some people are worried that my end goal here is “cancelling” people. I’m going to clear that up now.
I am not having this conversation because I want to put the hurt on people. I sincerely want each and every one of you to be here in this fandom. But I am having this conversation because I think some people have said some unfortunate things that are a) rather ignorant and b) harmful to the community.
I am a trans man, and I think some of the things that have been said border on or cross into transphobia. This is not a permanent condemnation of the souls of those who’ve said these things. Ignorance is not a sin! Ignorance is resolved by conversation! I am hoping that this public provokes some private reflection on unconscious and unchallenged beliefs.
What I find frustrating is that when trans people mention the transphobia in the community, people’s first reaction is … guilt? Denial? Anger? I think people are digging in deeper in their trenches because they don’t want to admit that it was wrong to defend a transphobe, and they’re afraid to admit that they did something mildly transphobic themselves.
I get it, it’s scary to admit you’ve done something unkind when we place so much (erroneous) emphasis on the inherent nature of goodness. As I said about, Good is something you Become, not something you Are. If you want to change, change. We’re all changing, all the time.
This is so well said!
