Arcane Characters as Shit my Friends and I have Said Pt.2
Caitlin:In a menstruator’s life time, they bleed enough to forge a sword out if the blood they discard
Vi: BRO W H A T
Vi: I WANNA DO THAT
Jayce: Viktor, what’s your favourite kind of wood?
Viktor, without missing a beat:Dick
Jayce: Fuck you
Viktor: Right back at you, you cock gobbling hobgoblin :D
Jayce: Pretty original, I like that
Vi: 72 inches? That’s the size of my pp
(A/N: This next one was from the same convo as the first one.)
Viktor: Somebody S e d a t e M e
Jinx: Literally same
Viktor: I wish to temporarily remove my legs
Jinx: I want to remove my uterus and have it preserved in resin to turn into a sword so I can have a sword embellished with my discarded uterus to slay my enemies
Viktor: That would be fuckin’ metal, ngl
Viktor: You ever lay down in a certain position and one of your bones just like, juts out
Viktor: and then you spend a solid minute just poking at your bones because your brain just can’t comprehend that there is literally just a layer of skin and muscle preventing you from actually touching them
Jayce: Nah, my flesh onezie is too THICC for that
Viktor: I wish to feel my meat suit scaffolding
Jayce: I have made a grave error
Jayce: I drank two coffees out of a really big mug even though I’ve been having stomach problems lately ‘cause I’ve gotta get my fix of caffeine
Jayce: and now I’m shaking and nauseous as hell
Jayce: But I also feel like I could fight god and absolutely knock his ass on the floor
*a beat of silence*
Jayce: I’m still gonna workout ‘cause I have no sense of self preservation
Jayce: Hopefully my heart doesn’t explode! :D
Viktor, absolutely done with this man’s shit: Jayce, sit your ass down, eat some bread and chug some water
ft. jayce, viktor, silco, vander, vi, jinx, caitlyn, ekko, finn, grayson, sevika, local cuisine
prince!jaycewho is the prince of a small, run-down country that has long since left its glory days behind, coming to your kingdom to ask for your hand in marriage to save his country from ruin. you, being the sole heir to the throne, have no shortage of suitors, jayce being one of many, a speck of sand in the desert. but he gets his chance like everyone else, and in the one day he gets to spend with you, he somehow manages to leave an impression. he starts off as standoffish. he isn’t all fake pleasantries like his peers, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less plastic. he has to win you over, the fate of his entire kingdom depends on it. yet his personality can’t help but shine through as he subtly challenges you when conversing, weighing your responses, testing you— a member of the royal family, to see if you’re worthyof your title. and suddenly his face is more interesting than the rose bushes of the colossal royal gardens, and a competitive spark has been light. what starts off as a contest develops into something more. his eyes burn with determination to get the biggest catch and place first just to show off for you. his hands get clammy before your daily walks, fixing his hair repeatedly before stepping into your line of sight. his breath lodges in his throat when he lays his eyes on you during the grand ball, and Viktor has to nudge him to remind him he has yet to give you the greeting you’re looking for. selfish as it may sound, suddenly it’s not his kingdom’s future he is trying so hard for, but his own.
