#canyoukeepup

Gurl Keisha Sweats (Keith Sweat’s bastard child that he don’t claim) and I are just trying to piece it together in this damn here heat… this global warming situation is real AF. Y’all out here thinking that banning straws is going to solve the problem, when you need to stawp drinking almond milk as your dairy alternative because they use more water to grow them little bitches than all of us combined… why am I so mad? Why the straws? Gurl I’m FUCKING HOT and I ain’t in the business of making sense and I can’t escape it, it feels like hell, it smells like hell, so naturally it brings the hell devil out in me and the fact of the matter is, I just really like straws damnit and I’m allergic to nuts so i don’t give a shit about them, even tho i miss peanut butter and make an exception for male nuts… #canyoukeepup #babyboymakemelosemybreath cause it’s fucking HOT… Anyway I digress, Keisha out here lookin like my plus size daddy going for a workout in one of them make ya sweat sweatsuits in the middle of this heat wave in an effort to burn extra calories to get his last minute summer body before it’s over, but instead he’s at urgent care with an IV in his arm recovering from passing out after dehydration because this wasn’t even a good idea in theory, but the heat will have you making some very questionable decisions. Keisha’s Hair on the other hand stayed all the way on Fleek while that lower lip was serving up a little Whitney Houston performing the national anthem at the new Ebeneezer Baptist Church Little League picnic fellowship with her beads of sweat dripping from it kind of realness. Meanwhile I’m over here trying to write this post with titty sweat stains on my shirt ‍♀️ #hotproblems #hotpeopleproblems #hotandbothered #captainsaveahoe #hellonearth #globalwarming #peacebewithyou #mahatmagandhi #keishadoyouloveme #no #itskiki (at Bloom & Plume)