#casey novak series

Warnings: Language. There’s some feels. I wouldn’t call it angst..not yet.
Taglist:@charabs@emilyprentisswife@bisexualcrowley@detective-giggles@natasha-danvers@stardust-fray@ineedafinghug@veteranwerewolf95@billiedeannovak@stardust-galaxies@vivis-ghost-wife@beccabarba@imlike-so-gaydude@mspetey@wannabe-fic-reader@sarcasticmami​@rwbyfan16​@gaylorrds​@infiniteoddball​@delphineecormierr​

Casey’s hand squeezed yours tightly, bringing you back to Earth as you waited to cross the street. You were headed into court while she was headed into Hogan Place after you’d done a little switcheroo with your cases.

“It’s gonna be fine.” She murmured quietly, kissing at your shoulder. “I know it’s a lot, but maybe you’ll be able to actually get some closure.”

“I know.” You sighed, “do you know what time they’re coming?”

“No. After what happened to Antonio before the Grand Jury they’re keeping everything hush hush, I was just told it would happen today.”

“Okay.” You turned to your girlfriend, wrapping against her in a tight hug before you gave her a gentle kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Casey kissed the tip of your nose, “now go crush it.” She nodded toward the court house, a warm smile on her face before turning to the street.

“Case!” Stalling, she turned back, stepping closer to you, out of the way of the foot traffic, “I almost forgot, can you give these to Antonio for me?” She chuckled softly as you handed her a four pack of chocolate pudding, “and..Alex…for lack of a better term, she can be a bitch. She comes off super cold and standoffish…or..at least she used to.” You realized it had been nearly two years, and she’d been living as someone else, who knows how she would’ve changed, “it’s nothing personal.”

“You sure about that?” Casey half laughed, “I did kinda steal both her job and her girlfriend.”

“Okay, but..she doesn’t know the second half of that. And she left without saying goodbye, and I thought she was dead.  There’s a few technicalities in there.”

“Okay..” she laughed, “I’ll keep in professional lawyer mode.” Quickly pecking your cheek she jogged back to the street, barely making it across before the light had changed. Sighing, you shook out of it, turning back to the court house, you had a job to do, and you were already behind on the case.

*

Casey had to admit, she was a little nervous going into today. Not only was it a big case already, with Antonio nearly being shot before he could even testify at the Grand Jury much less the trial, but Alex being so dangerously hit that she’d been in protection for so long. This was a risky case, and she hadn’t missed the protective detail Cragen had assigned to both you and her considering you’d started the case before recusing.

Not to mention, this just wasn’t the ideal way to meet your partner’s ex-girlfriend. Especially considering all of the baggage that surrounded the end of that relationship. She was more thankful than ever that Donnelly was the only one who knew about her relationship with you, at least, officially. She was sure that some of the squad or other members at the D.A’s office had their suspisions, but you’d always kept things as professional as you could around work. At least this way she was ninety percent sure Alex wouldn’t be coming into her office knowing that she was dating her ex.

She suddenly felt weird knowing so much about Alex, all the little stories you’d told her while you were just on the friend bases, the ones that helped you get over Alex, helping you grieve and put your life back together. She grimaced, knowing she’d have to look the blonde in the eye for God knows how long today and pretend she didn’t know exactly how she took her coffee, or that she’d buy Neapolitan ice cream and only eat one flavour at a time until it as all gone instead of buying just the one flavour she was craving. Casey knew that she burnt her eggs every time she made them, and that she had a horrible habit of leaving leftovers in their pots to toss them in the fridge until you were out of pots to cook with (not that that one really mattered to Alex, you were the one that did more cooking, she’d just order takeout if there weren’t dishes clean).

Letting out a heavy groan she dropped her head down onto her desk. Yup. Today was going to be a weird one, that was for sure. She could only pray that this trial was over and done with as quickly as possible.

*

Alex felt strange enough being back in New York, the city much more bustling and crowded than the little suburb of Wisconsin she’d been stowed away in. She felt exposed, very exposed, thankful for the constant guard at her side, sure, Connors was in custody, but he also was when they’d shot that little boy. She couldn’t remember his name right now, but was sure she’d end up meeting him later.

But now…she felt even stranger, standing between Hogan Place and the courthouse, a place she’d spent so many years, a place that was more of a home than some of her apartments had been. She was incredibly nervous about returning, realizing her hands were shaking a second too late, shoving them into her coat pockets. She’d been both relieved and saddened when they’d told her you’d recused yourself from the case. She didn’t know anything about this new prosecutor, and knew that you could hold your own, even on a tough case, but understood why you’d stepped back. The thought of having to testify while you were the one throwing questions her way made her head spin, not knowing how you were going to take everything. At least with this new girl it was a blank slate for each of them.

Truthfully, she was more terrified at the thought of seeing you again than having to testify, her stomach was in absolute knots, praying that you weren’t about to walk out of the doors she stood in front of. She knew she’d been stupid to end it like she did, especially since Liv had mentioned Elliot let it slip that she’d said an in person goodbye to the two of them. She hated herself for it, and hoped that you’d be able to forgive her, that maybe, just maybe the two of you could move past it together once the case was wrapped. Her chest felt tight at the thought of going inside Hogan Place, praying that they wouldn’t run into you and end up trapped in an elevator together. She wondered if you even knew she was coming in today, everything had been kept so quiet she was sure only this new A.D.A would be privy to the knowledge.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside.” The voice broke into her thoughts, pulling her back to the bustling street of the city. She gave a tight smile and a nod, taking a heavy breath before she pulled on a hypothetical mask, her prosecutor exterior holding it together as she pushed the glass door open.

*

Your day in court had turned into a morning in court, you picked up lunch on the way back to the office, thankful when you saw that Casey’s office door was sitting open about a quarter of the way.

“Hey, turns out I-“ You froze, your heart suddenly hammering in your chest.

Why the fuck was the door not closed all the way if Alex was in here, why the fuck wasn’t there a cop at the door?! You felt about fifty emotions flying across your face, praying that not all of them were showing. You were doing the best to hold back the part of your brain that was telling you to burst into tears, the part of you that wanted to bury yourself in her arms and never let her go. Up until this point it had been like all of it was some kind of horrible nightmarish dream, but she was real. She was really real, and she was sitting on the couch in Casey’s office staring right back at you with those goddamn sapphire eyes full of pensive surprise. Her hair was longer, but aside from that not much had changed, she was just as goddamn stunningly beautiful as the day you’d met her. You could see the sudden hint of building tears blurring her eyes and suddenly wished you’d just gone up to your office and texted Casey instead.

Alex felt like she was about to explode, the absolute joy splayed across your face before you’d realized she was in the office, you clearly got along with Casey, and hadn’t realized she’d be in there too. She’d hoped to arrange some kind of meet up, a time where she could try to explain what happened, explain herself after all this time. Her eyes drank you in, not that she needed any reminder of how beautiful you were, but actually hearing your voice and seeing you in front of her again was nearly too much for her.

Casey did her best to not awkwardly look between the two of you as whatever was happening happened. She knew she had to expect something like this, that there would be a lot of unfinished business you’d have to take care of, but right now, she was merely there as a coworker. You met her eye quickly,

“I-sorry, I didn’t realize..”

“I thought I texted you…”

Fuck.

You always kept your phone on do not disturb during court. You must’ve forgotten to turn it back on. You saw Alex about to open her mouth when suddenly another voice cut in,

“Miss Y/N!” Antonio bounded over from the other table where he’d been quietly occupied with colouring and pudding snacks. You’d never been so grateful for a child in your damn life, hopefully discreetly dropping the bag of takeout in the hall before you stepped into the office, crouching to greet the boy.

“How’s my favourite little dude?” You asked, trying to keep your balance as he hugged you tightly.

“Much better with the pudding.”

“Good.” You gently brushed back the front of his hair, “looks like that magic cure worked, your head’s looking a lot better.”

“I know!” He practically puffed his chest out in achievement, pulling a small giggle from you.

Completely unbeknownst to either of you (or the other two women in the office) both Casey and Alex were watching you with complete adoration in their eyes and small smiles on their faces. You’d always been adamant on not wanting kids, especially after the last year, but goddamn you were ever good with them. There was a reason you took so many cases with children versus the other people you worked with, you had a magic skill, that was for sure.

“Why aren’t you taking the Ghost to court anymore?” Antonio asked, and God your heart melted, you wanted nothing more than to be able to get this kid some justice, but you knew Casey would do everything she could.

“Well..my boss told me I couldn’t, that she had something else for me to do instead.”

“Is the Ghost not as important.” You barely held back the pout as Antonio’s face fell.

“Uh…no buddy. You’re the most important, I only bring the most special people pudding.” You enunciated with a soft poke to his chest as your brain scrambled to figure out how to explain this to an eight year old without having to divulge into the actual reason in front of the other two, “it’s like…when you really want chicken nuggets for dinner, but your Mom’s already made spaghetti, so she needs you to eat that instead. The chicken nuggets are way better, but you gotta listen to your Mom, right?”

“Right.” He nodded, “so I’m a chicken nugget?” You giggled,

“If that’s what you wanna be, yeah.”

“Good. I love chicken nuggets.”

“Me to bud.” You ruffled his hair, “and believe me, Miss Casey here is going to do an incredible job with the Ghost in court. Probably even better than I would have.” You glanced up at Casey and if you didn’t practically melt on the spot at the look in her eyes.

“Will you be there?” Antonio asked, a sense of worry crossing his eyes.

“Of course. I’ll be watching in the gallery, along with Detective Mike, okay?” At this point you didn’t care if Donnelly suspended you for turning your phone off, this kid wanted you there and you weren’t gonna miss it.

“Okay.” He gave you a small nod before his face slightly lit up, “Have you met Miss Alex? She saw the Ghost too.”

“I-uh…” you dared a glance over at the blonde, the too familiar tightening in your chest returning, “yeah, we used to work together.” You gave his shoulder a squeeze as you returned to standing, “but I think I should let you guys get back to work.” Giving the office a tight smile you began to turn to the door,

“Didn’t you neeed something?” Casey’s voice broke the slight tension in the air.

“Oh, shi-oot.” You barely caught yourself, “yeah. They found more evidence that links Carolyn to planning the photos of the..incident..” you hated having to censor yourself infront of Antonio and still make sense to Casey, “we want to talk to Danny, but he refuses to talk unless you’re there. Can you meet us at Rikers when you’re done here?”

“Yeah, course.” She smiled, “I’ll text you once we’re wrapped up.”

“Thanks.” Your eyes slid past Alex, doing your best to give a respectful goodbye as you slipped out of the office, pulling the door shut behind you. Taking a small breather you tried not to bang your head against the wall, knowing they’d hear it inside, picking up the bag of takeout you’d brought with you.

Why didn’t you remember to check your phone??

*

Liz’s head shifted from her computer to her doorway when your knock pulled her from her emails, a curious look on her face when you spoke.

“I come baring take out.” You smiled, moving through her office.

“What’d’you do? Aren’t you supposed to be in court?”

“They called for continuance, we’re figuring it out.”

“Okay…” she eyed you, “and you’re coming to my office for lunch why?”

“You can have lunch in my office, but I can’t have lunch in my favourite boss’s office? I even brought you food! Come on Liz.” Her brow cocked, closing the laptop and shifting it to the side with a smirk.

“You bought Casey lunch but Alex is in her office right now, isn’t she?”

“Yeah…” you dropped down into one of the chairs with a hefty sigh. “Sorry..I just..you’re better company than Ramone..”

“Ramone?”

“We named the cactus…felt less stupid when one of us ended up talking to a fucking plant when there was no one around.”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear any of that. What did you bring me?”

“Shrimp scampi from Forlini’s.” You replied, pulling it out of the bag, passing it and a fork to her before tugging out your own.

“Thank you, even though this wasn’t your intention.”

“Thanks for not kicking me out.” You replied, plucking the lid off your pesto gnocchi.

“As much as you kids annoy me sometimes, I’m never gonna kick you out.” She replied, giving you a once over, “how’re you doing with everything?”

“It’s…a handful…” you chewed over a bite, “I had my phone turned off and missed Casey’s text, walked straight into the fire of seeing Alex again.”

“It’s hard. Even knowing she’s alive there’s still a lot to unpack there for the two of you. I take it you haven’t talked to her at all?”

“How could I? I’ve had no way to contact her for two years, and it’s not like her location is blasted on social media right now.”

“Benson really didn’t give you any hints or inside scoop after that blowout the other day?”

“You heard about that?” You grimaced, glancing up at her.

“Sweetheart, you said it yourself, I have this building bugged, I know everything.” You let out a soft laugh at that.

“No…just like before, Benson’s barely meeting my eye whenever I’m around.”

“She probably feels bad, I mean she owes you one hell of an apology at the least.”

“You’re not going to yell at me for telling her to fuck off?” Liz nearly snorted.

“She’s not my department, I could care less what you say to her and Stabler. They both deserve to be knocked down a few pegs. Tell ya what, I’ll put a few feelers out, see if I can find out where Alex is staying while she’s here, the two of you need to at least try to talk.”

“Thanks.” You gave her a weak smile, delving back into your gnocchi.

“Tell me something.”

“Mmm?” You cocked a brow at the older woman.

“Are you happy with Casey?”

“Unbelievably.” The reply was out of your lips before you could even think, “she helped me through so much, even after I was incredibly rude to her. I don’t think I would’ve made it through without her…I really fucking love her.”

“And Alex?”

“What’d’you mean?” You glanced up at Liz, your fork pausing halfway to its takeout container.

“The last time we talked about her you said you had wanted to marry her.”

“Yeah…” you sighed, “but that was before she abandoned me without saying goodbye. She not only told Benson and Stabler she was alive but actually met with them, they got to say an actual, real, in person goodbye to her. All I got was half assed apology from Olivia as she realized Alex and I were more than friends. What kind of person says they love you and then pulls crap like that?”

Liz had barely opened her mouth to reply when your phone pinged, Casey had finished with Alex and Antonio, and was ready to head down to Rikers with you to meet Danny. You sighed,

“Duty calls.” You shoved the lid back on your lunch as you stood. “Thank you..” the warm smile you gave Liz was all she needed to know that you truly meant it. That it wasn’t just that you didn’t want to be alone at lunch, you often sought her out when you needed advice, whether it was work related or not.

“You know what to do sweetheart. Your heart knows. Just follow it, no matter how rough the path seems.”

“Okay, who are you and what’ve you done with Elizabeth Donnelly?” You teased, pulling the door open.

You knew the next couple of days were going to be a fucking gong show, but at least you knew that there were people who would support you no matter what the outcome was. People who would always have your back. You only hoped things wouldn’t be as complicated as they had a high potential to be.

Warnings: Language, mentions of blood.
Taglist:@charabs@bisexualcrowley@emilyprentisswife@detective-giggles@natasha-danvers@stardust-fray@ineedafinghug@veteranwerewolf95@billiedeannovak@stardust-galaxies@vivis-ghost-wife@beccabarba@imlike-so-gaydude@mspetey@wannabe-fic-reader@sarcasticmami@rwbyfan16@gaylorrds@infiniteoddball@delphineecormierr

*

You were pleasantly surprised with how easily the next few months passed, everything seemed to be falling into place, your personal friendship with Casey continuing to grow as well as your professional one. Sonya, Casey and you were all working better together with every single day, you easily exchanged information and facts over cases, and when need be, weren’t afraid to take on the detectives together when they tried to team up on a single one of you. (Not that Sonya needed any help in that department). There were countless hours spent working in each other’s offices, multiple lunches out in the city as you took a break from Hogan Place, and a few after work drinks while you wound down from the day.

You knew that things had hit a new level of peace, of closure, when you were getting ready one morning pulling your curled hair half back to pin up when your eyes settled on the gem sitting against your collarbone. Your head tilted while your lips pursed, your hands swiftly pinning back the required locks before one moved to the necklace, twirling it between your fingers. It had nearly been a security blanket since the day Alex looped it around your neck, but today…it finally felt like you didn’t need it anymore. Your hands moved behind your head, un-clasping it, moving the gem into your palm. You paused for a moment, looking down at it, unsure if you wanted to completely let go of it yet. Your brain got the best of you, convincing you that you didn’t need it on you, but didn’t quite want to leave it behind, tucking it into the change part of your wallet before you left the house. At least this way it was still somewhat within your vicinity for the day.

Before you’d even managed to make it to Hogan Place that morning you’d been called down to the 16^th precinct, at least you didn’t have any current cases going. You spent the first half of your day there, working through the evidence the squad had, listening in on interviews and the like until the perp’s lawyer showed up. After refusing a deal, you made your leave, finally able to head to your office, you started a fresh pot of coffee instantly, knowing you’d need it, you had a full day of research and planning in front of you. The case presented to you at least had some similarities to one that you recalled from a law journal you remembered reading your first couple of years with the D.A’s office. You pushed back from your desk, searching through the shelves of your office until you found where it should’ve been.

“For fucks sake..” you muttered, your hand plucking the post it note from the shelf. Of course the one thing you needed wasn’t actually in your office. You made a silent prayer that it wasn’t back at your apartment, although when you’d grabbed the journal for Casey, it had been the only one on the shelf. Sighing, you stepped back into your heels, over the last couple of months Casey had been moved into Alex’s old office. She had obviously been very against the idea, worried about what you would think, but you knew things had to move on, and you’d rather have someone you knew, and now, liked, take it rather than some stranger.

You gave a quick knock on her door as you tore into her office,

“Hey, I’m pretty sure there’s a journal stashed in here that I- oh fuck!Sorry!” You reeled around as you realized Casey was in the extended part of her office, bare in a bra and leggings. To be completely honest, your eyes dragged up her frame before you turned, gulping over how fucking gorgeous she was. You obviously already knew she was attractive, but suddenly seeing her half naked sparked a previously unrealized desire within you. Her quiet laugh broke you out of your thoughts,

“It’s fine.” She tugged her tank top on, “What’d’you need?”

“I need a law journal that I think is stashed in here. You mind if I take a look around?”

“Course not.” Casey replied as she moved to pull on a sweater, you noticed the melancholy seeping from her eyes.

“You okay?” Your voice was suddenly a million times softer as you stepped towards her, the embarrassment of walking in on her changing suddenly vanishing.

“Yeah.” She brushed it off, avoiding your eye.

“Case….” You warned, “don’t lie to me.”

“My witness disappeared.”

“The cousin? In that Montreal case?”

“Yeah…” she sighed heavily, “we thought we had him in a secure location but it’s looking like someone leaked it…” Casey took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions, she’d already let too many out today, “I’m worried the other boys got to him…I said everything would be okay…” You were absolutely shocked when her eyes glanced up to yours and were brimming with tears.

“Casey… you can’t blame yourself okay? Those boys are garbage, whatever ends up happening, they’re going to slip up, you’ll catch them, I know you will.”

“I know…I just…wish I could’ve protected Jason.”

“I know.” You tugged her into a hug, surprising yourself with the level of intimacy you were showing, but honestly, you’d been there before, and you needed Casey to know she wasn’t to blame. Shit was going to hit the fan no matter what. “It’s not your fault.” You murmured against her shoulder, squeezing her tightly before you pulled away.

“Thanks.” She gave a watery smile and a shaky sigh.

“You burning it off at the gym?” You asked, taking in her attire.

“Batting cages.” She replied, “figured it’s the closest I can get to beating something without actually beating it.” You laughed,

“Makes sense.” You gave her a warm smile, squeezing her hand, “you let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Course.” She smiled softly, “thank you…you’ve been a real help getting used to this, I hope you know that.” You nearly blushed, giving her a soft smile, “what were you looking for?”

“Oh…uh…a 2002 journal? It wasn’t in my office and I haven’t seen it at the apartment.”

“Oh, yeah, make yourself at home.” The redhead nodded toward her office as she grabbed her bag, “I’ll see you later.” Despite being in a not great place emotionally she still managed to shoot you a glittering smile as she left the office.

You let out a huff of a breath, trying to calm yourself down, turning to the shelves of books. You had to get it together. There were too many pretty lawyers in this city, you couldn’t possibly fall for all of them.

*

It was a few weeks later, Casey was stuck in court, Buchanan being a complete dick over literally everything, leaving you and Sonya out on lunch just the two of you. Not that it was an issue, you obviously loved Sonya, and your time together was as hilarious as it was cherished. And you knew she needed some support, she’d finally caught up on a case she had been chasing for twenty five years, the vic’s sister now running one of those ‘to catch a predator’ type shows. There had been a fair amount of controversy over the case and they were slowly closing in on tracking down the actual perp.

The first half of lunch Sonya shot idea after idea at you, it was honestly weird to see her being the one with the legal pad at the table. You knew she was hellbent on solving this case, and had been for years, so you let her do her thing.  You voiced your opinion whenever she stalled, reminding her of the reality of the situation and the like. Eventually your entrées arrived and she suddenly turned her attention towards you.

“I’m so sorry.” She shook her head, “this case just means so much to me.”

“I know how it is.” You gave her a soft smile,

“How’re you? You’ve been kind of weird recently.”

“What?” You laughed, “how?”

“You’ve been all flustered and weird this week.” She took a bite of her food as you busied yourself in taking a large gulp of the wine you were suddenlyverythankful of ordering, your cheeks flushing. “Oh…my GOD! It’s a girl!”

“What!? No! Sonya, come on!” You protested, unable to meet her eyes.

“Kid…look at me..” her hand grasped yours, pulling your attention to her face, “I know you better than basically anyone on earth…it’s a girl right?”

“Yeah…” you sighed heavily, stabbing at your food, “I…didn’t realize it at first, but…I might have a bit of a crush…”

“Well Novak’s stunning, so honestly I’m not surprised.”

“What!? Sonya! No!”

“Oh please!” She rolled her eyes, “I watched you fall in love with Cabot. You stare at Casey with that same dopey look on your face. Go for it! You know Alex would want you to be happy, and if it can’t be her, it can at least be another super pretty prosecutor. Hell, I want you to be happy, you two already get along so well, and I’ve definitely seen her staring at you when you’re not looking. Take a chance, ask her out.”

“Oh my god Sonya.” You rolled your eyes, ever so thankful when your phone pinged, you were needed down at SVU. “I’ve gotta run.”

“I’ve got this.” Sonya gestured to the food, “as long as you promise you’ve got Novak.”

“Oh my GOD!” You laughed, calling over your shoulder as you dashed from the restaurant. You had no idea how to even think about reacting yet. You’d barely realized you might have feelings for Casey, this whole ballpark was still pretty new to you, who knew what was going to happen? At least you had Sonya’s words echoing in your head as you headed toward the precinct.

*

You spent what felt like, and what was, hours going through a case at the 16^th with Fin and Munch, you questioned the perp, you watched the detectives question the perp and you spent far too long watching the two of them piecing together the case. Throughout the afternoon you’d shot a couple of texts off to the group chat between you and the other SVU lawyers, hoping for a meet up later after all of this bullshit. You were finally done, waiting for the elevator when Stabler’s voice rang through the hallway,

“Counsellor!” You did your best not to roll your eyes as you turned to him,

“Can I help you detective?”

“Do you have any idea where Paxton is?”

“At a meeting…why?”

“We need to get to her. Now.” Liv interrupted, “do you know where?”

“I uh..I can’t remember the name, but if I come with I can guide you there.”

“Good enough!” Elliot practically tossed you into the car and your heart suddenly started to beat a million miles a minute. You knew whatever Sonya was dealing with at the moment wasn’t easy, and if SVU was this concerned, something wasn’t right.

You pulled up to the church where Sonya’s usual AA meetings were held, the three of you moving with ease throughout the building, though you did let the other two take the lead. They began to talk to the group, gaining responses only about how it was supposed to be anonymous. You glanced down the hallway, the bathroom was only a few feet down, and if Sonya wasn’t in the meeting room, maybe she was there.

As much as you’d expected and hoped to find her in the bathroom, you had never imagined you’d find Sonya on the floor of the bathroom in a pool of blood her hands clutching at her throat at she gasped to breathe.

“I need a bus!!!” Your voice screamed through the room, diving down next to her body, your hands taking over the pressure against her neck, “you’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay..” you felt your eyes blur up with tears. No…there was no way you could handle losing a second part of the big three, she was going to be fine, you had to think it into existence. “Sonya, please, please…stay with me, stay with me..we’ve got you.”

You felt Olivia’s presence at your back, her voice shouting into her phone. What you didn’t feel was the slowing of Sonya’s heartbeat against your fingers, her pulse slowly dissipating as she slipped away, the tears that burned in your eyes. You barely remembered the screaming and crying, fighting against Elliot’s arms as he pulled you away, as Sonya’s body was lowered into the morgue’s car, unable to watch the coroner zip the sleeve over her face. This couldn’t possibly be happening. It had to be some kind of bad dream, how were you supposed to deal with losing two of the greatest people in your life. It was like the world was trying to play some cruel fucking joke on you. And you..you weren’t laughing.

*

Casey had had a shit day, she’d spent it with Cragen and a few uni’s while scouring over locations that the boys from the Montreal case may have dumped the vic’s body, and thus, Jason’s. With no star witness, they’d had to drop all the charges pertaining to the original vic, with Jason having not turned up, and statements from a court officer, it was basically confirmed that he was dead. Casey was wrought with guilt over, feeling the bile pooling in her stomach at the sight of Jason’s body being pulled from the river. The only upside was at least now they could arrest the boys for that murder.

She’d gotten home later than she’d planned, heading straight for the scotch while she browsed through a take out menu for dinner, not having the energy left to cook. After ordering her eyes landed on the group chat in her messages, she knew Sonya was at a meeting, but heavily debating calling you. It was one of those nights where she wasn’t sure if company would make things better, or a time where she just would rather be alone.

Her food arrived, she picked at it scarcely, consuming more liquor than nutrients, letting her brain turn to mush over the mindless television show in front of her. She was surprised when there was a soft knock at the door, it was so quiet she nearly missed it, too deep in her own grief to realize it wasn’t coming from the t.v.

The moment she swung open the door she was wrenched out of her dazed state, her eyes widening as she realized your shirt was soaked with blood,

“Oh my God, y/n! What the fuck happened?! We need to get you to a doctor.”

“It’s not mine…” you choked out through a sob. Casey felt her own heart constricting at the uttermost sorrow pouring from you, she pulled you into her arms, kicking the door shut behind you. You easily fell into her embrace, there were barely any tears left by now, your body shaking with silent sobs. Casey’s hand cupped the back of your head, soothingly playing with your hair as she held you tight.

“What happened?” She murmured softly.

“Bastard got Sonya.” Your words were muffled against her sweater, another small cry coming from your lips as Casey pulled her head back far enough to see your face.

“What?!”

“He tracked her down…” you wiped at your face with the sleeve of your shirt, “we were too late…she bled out..”

“Oh my God…I am so sorry.” Your eyes slowly darted around the apartment, noticing the forgotten takeout, the half drank bottle of scotch, moving up to Casey’s face you could see the puffiness and red rim of her eyes, realizing she had been crying and you suddenly felt like you were intruding.

“Fuck..” you muttered, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have just shown up like this, I just…had nowhere else to go. I’ll..get out of your hair.” Turning away you moved for the door, your shoulders slumping at the thought of returning to your cold empty apartment. No matter how shit of a day Casey had had, she wasn’t about to let you wander off alone right now, gently grasping at your hand and pulling you back.

“I said my door was always open, office or apartment, and I meant it.” You gave her a tight smile, “besides, you’re covered in blood, I can’t let you wander the streets of New York like that. C’mon, I’ll get you something to change into.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She gave your arm a squeeze, leading you down the hallway “feel free to shower, help yourself to whatever you need.” She pulled some comfy looking clothes out of her closet, handing them to you, “take all the time you want. I’ll be in the living room ready and waiting with a fresh glass of scotch.”

“Thanks..” you murmured, somewhat blown away by her instant hospitality, unsure of how to handle it all. She gave you another soft squeeze before leaving the room, a quick smile over her shoulder to reassure you. She was relieved when she heard the water begin to run. It didn’t matter what the situation was, but if she was stressed, or having a rough day, things always seemed to feel better after a shower an she hoped it would at least start to help you.

You didn’t take long, opting to pull your hair up into a bun to avoid getting it wet while you scrubbed away the remaining blood, the grime and emotions of the day swirling down the drain. Wiping off what remnants of your make up had managed to stay on your face, you tugged on the borrowed clothes, thankful that Casey had such comfortable and warm attire.

Out in the living room Casey had grabbed a second glass for scotch, and brought out the fluffiest of blankets she could find, tossing it over the back of the couch. She glanced up when you appeared in the room,

“Feel any better?”

“Much, actually.” You replied, crossing to the couch. You dropped down beside her and immediately pulled the blanket around your body, without even thinking you softly fell against Casey, and her arm instantly wrapped around you. The room stayed silent for a few moments before you spoke again, your brain a little more clear than when you’d first showed up, “were you crying before I got here?”

“What?” Casey’s head tilted slightly to meet your gaze.

“Your eyes were all red…It just..looked kinda like you were crying.” You shrugged.

“They pulled Jason’s body out of the river today…”

“Oh fuck, Casey I’m so sorry. And here I am acting like it’s my life that’s destroyed.”

“Hey..” her hand moved softly to your hair, “you just saw one of your best friends die, I had a case take a nose dive, they’re not exactly the same.” You sighed, turning your head back to the t.v.

“Yeah but I should’ve at least tried to listen, let you talk it out.”

“You’re listening now.” A few more moments of comfortable silence enveloped the two of you, you hummed as her hand moved soothingly through your hair.

“Casey?”

“Yeah.”

“Please don’t die on me…you’re all I’ve got now…”

Her heart clenched at your words, she knew what you’d been through, what you were going through, and all she wanted was to help and be there for you. You’d easily been able to lean on each other over the past few months, and she’d found herself almost falling, rather than leaning.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She murmured softly, letting you snuggle deeper against her as you fell silent again.