#cask of amontillado
Hobbits sext by sending each other pictures of food
A farmer sends her girlfriend a picture of the amazing strawberries she’s just picked and the girlfriend responds with a picture of a freshly baked loaf of brown bread
Yes i know hobbits don’t have 21st century technology but you know what I mean
“You should come over.”
“Ah, I wish, but my cousin’s wife’s brother is coming over tomorrow, and I want to make sure I’m ready for him.”
“You know I don’t have any guests over… ;)”
“I know, but still…”
*Image of pot roast*
“It’s been marinating all day… The meat looks practically ready to fall off the bone…”*Very quiet but very rapid hobbit running noises*
I like your tags, @aro-as-in-straight-as-a
bitches really listing Stardew Valley down as one of their calming games when you’re supposed to play it like you’re gonna die every 11 minutes, like an entire operation with at least a dozen tabs open and the townie’s favorite gifts on a spreadsheet and each crops yield-to-time ratio ranked and memorized
chill, Edgar Allan Poe
this IS a place of honor. Tons of awesome stuff is commemorated here. in fact you should start digging immediately to find all the cool valuable stuff we hid
Metal detector salesman
Cask of Amontillado, year 5000
