#chiang mai

When we first started planning our honeymoon, the first thing we agreed on was that we wanted to meet elephants. We’d both had fantasies of seeing an elephant up close — and were pretty sure we would both burst into tears. It didn’t take much research to learn that the best place to do it was in Chiang Mai, the largest city in northern Thailand. We built our itinerary around having an ethical elephant experience, but in doing so, discovered our love for this incredible city.

After a short flight from Phuket and a fifteen-minute cab ride, we arrived at the Anantara Chiang Mai Resort. The hotel, situated on the grounds of the former British consulate, is a stunning collision of architectural grandeur against the urban epicenter surrounding it. Upon checking in, we were greeted with butterfly pea juice, matching jasmine necklaces and a short neck-and-shoulder massage by their talented spa staff, a practice we pray will make its way over to America.

Our room was a huge suite, decorated in minimalist bamboo with a giant terrace overlooking the garden.

The first thing we did after dropping off our bags in the room was catch the afternoon high tea, a hat tip to their British origin. The tea and pastries were as delicious as they were beautiful, and it was the perfect way to decompress after our journey while still keeping a touch of elegance.

We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the grounds. Every detail of the hotel seemed to be chosen with precision – from the lotus flowers floating in jars lining the riverwalk, to koi ponds filled with lily pads and meticulously manicured gardens.

While we could have easily spent our entire time inside the gates of the Anantara, its close proximity to the hub of nightlife in Chiang Mai made it especially appealing. The hotel is only steps from the famous Night Bazar, which stretches for blocks during the evening hours, seven nights a week. We picked up some Christmas presents, window-shopped and finally tasted the infamously smelly-but-delicious fruit, durien. For the record, I loved it. (Scott wasn’t such a huge fan.) For dinner, we walked to Ginger & Kafe, place I’d found online that specialized in Chiang Mai’s signature dish, khao soi, a spicy, rich stew that still has my mouth watering just thinking about it.

After checking out the nightlife in Bangkok and Phuket, we were curious what the gay scene would be like in Chiang Mai. Spoiler alert: we were not disappointed! Just a block from the Night Bazar, Charoenprathet Road houses a stretch of gay bars and cabarets. We stumbled into Ram Bar, a whimsically festooned bar at the end of the street just in time for their 10 PM nightly drag show. What followed was honestly one of the best evenings of drag either of these two homosexuals have ever seen. 

The incredible dancing and performance level of these queens was staggering and the special effects — which included haze, bubbles and, I kid you not, one of the performers lighting her own hands on fire — had us howling to the point that we both lost our voices. Plus, Scott got dragged onstage for an impromptu dance!

When researching places to meet elephants, we didn’t realize how much of a problem tourist operations are for these incredible animals. Thirty years ago, when Thailand outlawed the logging that had leveled more than half of its rainforests, thousands of elephants that had been used by the logging industry were out of work. Too traumatized — and too valuable — to return to the decimated forests, most of them were forced into the tourist trade. In zoos, circuses, and the illegal logging trade that still persisted, these elephants were torn from their herds, held in sub-standard conditions in crowded cities or tourist-heavy beach towns, and brutalized at the hands of humans. But thanks to the work of Elephant Nature Park, a rescue and rehabilitation center in northern Thailand, these incredible creatures are being given a new home. No rides, no abuse, no tricks to perform — just elephants living together in the forest, like they’re supposed to be.

Our day was spent with eight other people, getting to meet two elephants — both sisters, aged twenty and three years old. Through the course of the day we got to feed them, go on a trek with them through the jungle, bathe them in the river and feed them their daily vitamins. It was truly one of the greatest moments in either of our lives, getting to see these beautiful creatures up close and in a sprawling jungle environment free of cages or chains. The Elephant Nature Park philosophy is to let the elephants do whatever they please, never forcing them into an activity. Rather, these creatures are very social and always seemed to enjoy the human interaction, especially the parts that involved ripe bananas.

After taking the longest showers of our life (it’s impossible not to get muddy when playing with elephants), we checked out of the Anantara and headed over to the Dhara Dhevi Chiang Mai.

The Dhara Dhevi Chiang Mai is, without question, one of the most incredible hotels in the world. Built by hundreds of traditional craftsmen in the style of a Lanna village, the Dhara Dhevi Chiang Mai makes guests feel like they’ve taken a step through time, wandering the streets of an idyllic Northern Thai city.

The villas — all large, luxurious and with individual architectural flourishes and floor plans — are secluded and peaceful, perfect for a romantic getaway. Our villa alone had to be ten times the size of our New York City apartment, complete with private pool and two stories of ultimate luxury.

The grounds, which extend for more than sixty acres, are dotted with temples, ponds, multiple pools, and immaculate gardens.

Shortly after checking in, we attended a private cooking lesson with Chef Juno, one of the chefs at Le Grand Lanna, one of the many restaurants on site.

Chef Juno guided us through a four course lunch menu of traditional Thai favorites. He was incredibly knowledgable and the perfect instructor. The food: unforgettable. We already have plans to recreate some of the dishes back home.

The staff at the Dhara Dhevi Chiang Mai made us feel so welcome and appreciated, from giving us a guided tour of the grounds to booking the perfect dinner table, with a prime seat to watch a traditional Thai dance performance in between courses.

During our stay we kept checking joking that it honestly felt like we were living in a dream, which is exactly what the Dhara Dhevi strives for. The hotel is so large that at times it felt like we had the place to ourselves. We couldn’t recommend it more to couples looking for an ultra-luxury hotel with a romantic setting that transports you into another world.

By the end of our honeymoon, we admit, we were pretty exhausted. Our two weeks were packed with such complete overload of the senses — from the pristine beaches that went on for miles, to the thumping music of Bangkok’s nightlife, to the most flavorful food we had ever tasted. We knew it would be hard to adjust back to normal life. But we find that our trip lives on, whether it be a funny anecdote that pops into our mind, or finding sand at the bottom of our suitcase and remembering the warm waters of Phang Nga Bay. We went off in search of a paradise, to find something untraditional and exotic, and Thailand delivered all that and more. As for being gay travelers? It went beyond feeling accepted. There is something every gay person feels in a new space – the feeling that you’re being clocked. In Thailand, no one ever batted an eye or looked twice as we held hands across a dinner table. It’s just not a part of Thai culture to judge. Now that we’re back in the states, the only thing to do now is plan our return.

Flying to Thailand from the United States is not for the faint of heart. Even with a nearly direct flight, it is a seriously long trip — about 23 hours door to door from New York City. Our biggest splurge of the entire honeymoon was booking business class seats on Philippine Airlines. It’s an airline that we had flown recently and we’d loved our travel experience. The cabin on their brand new Airbus A350-900 was the most impressive we’d ever seen. The entertainment module was huge and both of our seats were spacious and folded down completely flat, which makes prepping for a twelve-hour time difference just a little less daunting. Landing in our connecting city of Manila, we were shocked by what a good sleep we got on the eighteen-hour flight.

We began out honeymoon in the capital city of Bangkok. It’s the most visited city in Asia, and a logical place to start our journey. We checked into our hotel, Inn a Day right on the Chao Phraya river. 

Our room had a super modern, industrial feel that felt perfectly edgy in a city that’s constantly reinventing its architectural style.

The first thing we did (after showering, of course) was cross the river to visit to the legendary temple, Wat Arun.

Conveniently, there was a ferry right outside of our hotel which was well marked and only cost five baht (or about 15 cents). We’d seen pictures of the temple, but you can’t really fathom how big and ornate the porcelain-coated temple is until you are standing beneath it.

That evening, we took a recommendation from a friend who had recently honeymooned in Thailand, and booked a midnight tuk tuk food tour. Tuk tuks are motorized buggies — imagine a go-kart had a baby with a rickshaw and raised it in a disco — and are both an iconic and romantic way to explore the city. On the tour, our guide took us to three restaurants, from the very famous to the completely off-the-beaten-trail. 

We can say with confidence that this was the BEST food we had on the entire trip. We still talk about the kua gai (a wok-fried noodle dish) at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant. In between meals, our guide took us to a Chinese flower market and temple to give us time to digest. All in all, we’d highly recommend this, as it forced us to stay awake and made it much easier to adjust to the twelve hour time difference.

We couldn’t visit Bangkok without checking out its famed nightlife, and it’s with good reason that Bangkok is named the unofficial gay capital of Asia. The Silom district houses a swath of gay bars, nightclubs and dance parties so we decided to stay at the Pullman Bangkok Hotel G, a perfect spot for travelers hoping to pair a fantastic view of Bangkok with a quick walk to some of the greatest nightlife in the city.

Our room had smart and simple decor and the rooftop restaurant and bar had stunning views of the city’s greatest sights and an affordable happy-hour cocktail list.

The proximity to Silom’s nightlife, as well as the smart, simple decor, made the Pullman Bangkok Hotel G a perfect spot for gay travelers like us hoping to hit Bangkok’s legendary nightlife in style.

With its ornate temples, bustling nightlife and mouth-watering street food, Bangkok was a perfect introduction to Thailand. Even if you seek a total beach vacation, we’d still recommend flying into Bangkok and spending at least day checking it out.

When Scott and I got engaged in the fall of 2017, we had our mind set on planning the wedding ceremony, but we were just as excited to plan the big trip we would take after. Scott and I love traveling — we always say that we’re happiest as a couple when we’re exploring a new place together. That means that we’re always saving up and planning for our next adventure!

Why Thailand?

The first decision we had to make when planning our honeymoon was the destination. Our wedding date was set for mid-October, and because of Scott’s work (he’s a political reporter), we knew it would be tricky taking a honeymoon directly following our wedding. The midterm elections couldn’t exactly get rescheduled! This put us closer to December before we could get time off to travel. We knew that after a hectic election cycle and a lot of time spent executing a destination wedding, we wanted to go somewhere warm and relaxing — hopefully with beautiful beaches. This knocked out a bunch of potential European destinations and the Caribbean, which turned our attention to Asia. 

Finding a destination with pristine beaches and a culture of luxury hospitality was a top priority, but we also wanted to have a little time to be explorers. Some of our favorite adventures have included getting lost in the hip neighborhoods of Rome, or discovering colorful alleys in Nice, so a destination that offered more than just pretty beaches and drinks with umbrellas would be ideal. 

Our last determining factor was, where would it be safe to travel as gay newlyweds? We understand that not all cultures have developed in the same way as America, and it’s not fair to expect a country to be as tolerant as our own. But when it came to planning a honeymoon, it was really important that we could feel comfortable checking into a hotel or reaching for one another’s hand on the beach. We talked to some friends and followed some gay travel-themed Instagram accounts (namely @thegaypassport) and Thailand kept coming up as a possible destination. Not only did it have the right mix of beach and city, but it was affordable and very accommodating to LGBT travelers. After reading countless blog posts, watching hours of travel videos and chatting with representatives at The Gay Passport, we decided that Thailand checked off every box on our honeymoon wish list — and then some.

We just returned from our two-week honeymoon in paradise and have put together some travel guides for anyone planning a trip to Thailand — especially if you are looking to honeymoon there or are an LGBT traveler yourself. We’ll be posting one a day for each city we visited, so make sure you’re following this blog. Enjoy!

Reo red velvet cream cheese cookie from Uppercrust Bakery in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I don’t see many red velvet desserts in Asia so when I saw this I knew I had to try it and it did not disappoint. It was so moist and soft and sweet. I loved it so much I got it twice.

Last week I was in Thailand. At best, I thought I might find some 90210 reruns subtitled on a TV in one of the hotels. But then I found myself at the Night Bazaar in Chiang Mai. And do you know what song I heard? It was “Losing My Religion.” That alone was a nice little moment for me, but the song that played next was “Wicked Game."  So I felt like someone in Chiang Mai must be a fan… Right?

For the past 2ish weeks, I traveled around Thailand and Singapore during my winter break which in all was super relaxing and just nice to get away and soak in 80 degree weather. A full writeup is coming up in the next few days :) In the meantime, check out my instagram for more up to date pics. 

Wat Pha Lat Temple, Chiang Mai / Thailand (by Oscar Martinez Troncoso).

Impression of Chiangmai