#choi seunghyun scenarios
Moodboard made by @fantasyworldbb
A/N ~ So I thought I would add a slight bit of sweetness in this one and then I changed my mind bahahahah. Also, as I said to @birdiewithalittlepen you go see @tabis-eyebrows for reimbursements on money spent on tissues.
Theme ~ Friends AU
Pairing ~ Choi Seung hyun X Reader
Rated ~ Angst/fluff/More angst
“Noona!” Seungri shouted as he threw his arms around you and squeezed you a little too hard. He hadn’t changed one bit, he was still the same maknae you once knew. Open, honest and accepting.
“Ahh don’t kill her before the rest of us get a chance to say hi” Taeyang scolded as he pushed Seungri out of the way, ignoring his cries of displeasure as he continued “It’s been too long” he greeted you with a large warm smile as he pulled you in for a hug.
“It has” you reply was quiet, timid almost as you allowed yourself to be wrapped in his warm arms.
Taeyang was always the soft, mellow one out of all of them. He never said much but he didn’t have to, his kind actions always spoke for him.
You gave him a small smile as you pulled back, he responded by rubbing the top of your head, like you would a child before walking off and sitting at the table with the others.
A Smile formed on your lips as you watched them converse, Seung hyun was finally looking like himself again amongst his brothers.
It had taken three days for the both of you to be comfortable with each other again, three days filled with silence, crying and holding one another. Although you shared a strong bond before everything happened, this time felt different, it felt more, intimate. The time you spent laying in his bed with him, staring into each other’s eyes, letting unspoken truths and sorrys go by had your heart racing in your chest. At first, you were reluctant to stay, these moments often resulting in you breaking down and crying and making you want to run and hide again. But he always brought you back when he would reach out and pull you close to him, as if he knew you wanted to run but wouldn’t let you.
He was slowly but surely breaking down your walls, the ones you had built because of him, because of everything that happened after he and the others left your life. It made you wonder if it was really him that needed you or was it you that needed him.
“So Noona, what have you been up to since we last saw you? Tell us everything we missed and don’t you dare leave a single thing out, I want to know all the juicy details” Seungri asked with a wide smile and a hearty laugh.
Your eyes dropped to your glass as you twirled the stem with your fingertips.
“You don’t have to answer him, he’s always sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong” Jiyong said while flashing a smirk in Seungri’s direction, adding an extra dimension of insult to his comment.
“It’s ok but there isn’t really much to tell”
“Well, what do you do for work? I assume you’re not still working at that bar..”
“She’s not” Seung hyun said almost immediately after Taeyang asked you the question, the group went quiet, his eyes darted to you and then down at his own glass. His reply making everyone aware to the fact he had checked up you at some point.
“Actually, I’m currently working on my second book”
“You’re a writer? Since when?” Daesung asked clearly shocked, his expression making you giggle
“About a year after I last saw you guys” you replied dropping your head, the atmosphere in the room changed, you could feel the heaviness from your comment hovering.
“So what was your first book? Anything we might have read?” Taeyang asked as he took a sip of his wine, you silently thanked him for trying to lighten the mood.
“Ahh I don’t think so, It’s sort of a love story that never got to happen” you replied as you went back to play with your glass.
“What’s it called?” Jiyong asked, his eyes narrowing at you, his action making you a little nervous.
“Crossed stars”
Jiyong almost jumped out of his seat as he pointed at you and shouted “I knew it, I fucking knew it as soon as you said what it was about”
“You’ve read it?” you asked wide eyed and mouth agape.
“Are you kidding me? Have you never heard the songs I’ve written? It was a tragic love story, of course I read it” he leaned back in his chair, his eyes gleaming as he ran his hand through his hair. “Yah, I can’t believe you wrote it. Don’t get me wrong, I love you Noona but I really never thought you could write like that”
“Neither did I but I kind of started writing and it all just, poured out”
“Ugh, I loved that story. I kept hoping for them to get together and right when I thought they finally sorted their shit out, he goes and fucks it up” Jiyong said with frustration lacing his voice while he looked at the man sat next to you.
You looked at Seung hyun, his eyes darting between you and Jiyong as he held a awkward smile. His expression making you wonder if he had read it or not or if he had just picked up on where you got your inspiration from.
As the night went on, you became more comfortable. The way you were all joking and laughing with one another reminding you of old times.
“Noona, wanna roast marshmallows with me?” Taeyang shouted from the other side of the roaring bonfire, that famous squinty smile all over his face as he held up a pack of marshmallows.
You returned his smile with a nod of your head, how could you refuse such a cute invitation.
You grabbed your blanket and made your way over, making sure to keep your distance from Seung hyun. Things had calmed down since your night spent out in the forest but it still felt as though you were walking on eggshells around him and Jangmi, you had a sneaking suspicion they had had a fight about him being in your room and you really didn’t want to make things worse for him or you.
Halfway around the bonfire, you were stopped by Jangmi stepping in front of you.
“I wanted to say sorry for how I spoke to you the other day” she said as she placed her hand on your shoulder.
You looked at her hand before looking back at her “It’s ok…”
“No, it’s not. You’re a big part of Seung hyun’s life and I really want us to get along”
You chewed your lip as you stared at her, you really weren’t convinced by her words or her acting but you knew you had to try, for the sake of your friendship with Seung hyun. If you didn’t make up with her, you might end up losing him for good.
“Really Jangmi, It’s fine” you said with a reassuring smile, her own face mimicked yours, returning the smile you gave her before continuing.
“So no hard feelings?” she asked as she held out a cup for you to take, you hesitated and your smile faltered as your eyes darted between her and the cup she was holding. “For Oppa?”
“For Seung hyun” you replied, restoring your smile that had faded seconds ago as you took the drink.
The smile she was holding changed slightly as she watched you take a sip of the sickly sweet drink, almost looking like one of that when a villain reveals themselves in a movie. Your distrust in her was screaming at you but you ignored it, you needed to make things better for Seung hyun.
Without a word, she disappeared from her spot in front of you. You watched as she sat down next to Seung hyun and give him a kiss on the cheek. He looked up at you and gave you a nod, a gesture to say thank you for being nice before he gave his attention to her, he put his arm around her and pulled her into his side, her head resting on his shoulder as he did.
Your heart felt like it were crumbling in your chest as you watched them, a feeling you had felt many times before, you should have been used to it by now but you weren’t. You couldn’t help but think ‘why her?’ and ‘why not me?’
You closed your eyes, attempting to rid the thoughts and images from your mind. You needed to try, for your own sanity, you needed to forget everything. You took another sip as you made your way to sit with Taeyang, his half crescent moon eyes smiling at you once you were there.
“She’s sure changed her tune” Taeyang said, giving you a nudge with his elbow as you sat on the log next to him.
“Hmm, I feel like she’s up to something” you replied as your eyes drifted back to her, your face scrunching up in disgust at how sickly sweet she was being to Seung hyun.
“Hey, don’t worry about her. You just sip on your drink and chill out while we roast marshmallows”
“Fine” you sighed before taking yet another big sip.
“Jangmi doesn’t exist over here, only the cool kids are allowed”
You stopped halfway through taking your sip to give him a sideways glance at his dorky comment, he grinned back at you, his face telling you that you were giving him the reaction that he wanted.
Twenty minutes had past, you’d finished your drink and you were a giggling mess while you played with the burnt marshmallow stuck to the end of your stick.
“What’s going on over here?” Jiyong asked with a smile as he wandered over to you.
“I think she’s drunk” Taeyang chuckled as he watched you fall off your seat and plop to the ground.
“Did someone have a little too much to drink?” Jiyong asked raising his eyebrows and crouching beside you.“No” you pouted back at him, causing a deep chuckle from him.
“Ah, you’re so cute Noona” he said with a smirk as he brushed hair away from your face.
You looked away from him, your eyes focusing on your fingers that were still playing with the stick “Jiyong oppa…”
“Hmm? Did you just call me oppa?”
You looked up at him to see his eyes wide but his face still bright as he looked back at you. You smiled back at him, your nose scrunching slightly as you nodded to his question.
“I want to call you oppa from now”
He licked his lips as he looked away, his teeth sinking into his lip as he thought about something before he turned back to you.
“I’m ok with that but on one condition”
You smiled wickedly at him before you answered “Anything for my Oppa”
He laughed as he dropped his head down and shook it “Aish” he exclaimed before looking back up at you. “You’re playing a dangerous game here, you know”
“I know” you replied, keeping the wicked smile. “So what’s the condition?”
“You have to let me call you Kitten at all times”
“Ok, Oppa” you giggled back at him.
“Ah Kitten, you’re a mess” he said as he helped you up to sit back on the log.
He sat beside you, his side pressing against yours as he snaked his arm around your back and held you in place.
“Oppa, I can’t get my marshmallow off” you told him with a pout as you held out your fingers that were covered in the half melted residue that was once a soft spongy marshmallow.
“Ah, this won’t do” he said with a tisk as he inspected your fingers. “I can’t have my Kittens fingers in such a mess, now Oppa’s going to have to clean it up for you” he continued with a wink before grabbing your hand, his eyes locked with yours as he took your fingers in his mouth. You started giggling like crazy as soon as you felt his tongue lapping at your fingers, the action causing a ticklish sensation and your legs to kick at the ground as you tried not to scream with laughter.
“Oppa! Jiyong! Stop!” you shouted unable to take it anymore.
A loud cough followed shortly after, making you look in it’s direction. Seung hyun was staring at you, his jaw tight and his nostrils flared as he pulled his bottom lip in. You quickly pulled your fingers out off Jiyong’s mouth and wiped them off on your jacket.
Here you were again, worry about what he thought was going on while he was sat there with his girlfriend. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as you thought about it, about how he wasn’t yours and he never would be.
“Kitten, are you ok?” Jiyong asked from beside you, his eyes darting around your face with concern.
“I’m fine, I just need to lay down” you replied as you rubbed at your temples and stood up. A sudden rush came over you, making you stumble.
“Let me help you” Jiyong said as he grabbed you, helping you stand upright.
“You’ve done enough” you bit at him before you walked off towards the house.
You could feel yourself getting dizzy and disorientated, you couldn’t understand why, you hadn’t had a drink all night but the way you were acting and felt, said differently. Before you knew it, you were surrounded by trees mixed with pitch black. You looked back, the faint glow of the bonfire appearing through cracks off black.
“Fuck” you exclaimed with a stumble, your hand reaching out to grab at the closest tree to right yourself.
“What the fuck are you doing out here?” Seung hyun growled making you jump and your hand to scrape down the bark of the tree that was holding you up.
“I…”
“And what the fuck was that back there with Jiyong?” he shouted again cutting you off.
“Please stop yelling at me Oppa” you strained as you began to break down, your confused state as to what was happening to you was taking its toll.
He let out a loud sigh before he grabbed you and pulled you into him “Don’t cry”
“Why not? You hate me” you said as you tried to push him away.
“I don’t hate you Princess”
“Yes you do. You don’t see me anymore and the only time you’ve spoken to me on this trip is to yell at me”
“I’m sorry for yelling”
“Why do you hate me?” you asked as you pulled back from him, your back hitting the tree you were holding a moment ago as you looked at him through tear strained eyes.
“I don’t hate you” he replied as he stepped towards you, his hand brushing at your cheek. “I could never hate you”
You couldn’t stop yourself in your disorientated state, your face nuzzled into his hand as yours cupped it, a small sigh escaping your lips as you did.
“Please, don’t do that” he murmured, his eyes darted around your face.
“I miss you” you said as you grasped his jacket with your free hand and pulled him closer.
“Princess…” he called, his forehead coming to rest on yours, his eyes boring straight through you.
You could feel your breath getting heavy, you had had him this close so many times and let your opportunity pass, you weren’t going to let it happen again.
You snaked your hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in, your lips attaching straight to his. It felt like electricity coursing through you from where his lips met yours, it was everything you had imagined it would be and more. His thumb moved, caressing at the flesh of your cheek as he groaned, his body pressing against yours, trapping you against the tree.
“Oppa” a voice called in the distance, bringing you back to reality as Seung hyun pulled away from you.
He looked back at you, his expression stunned. “Coming Jagi”
“Don’t, don’t go” you begged, the tears straining your eyes once again.
“I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened, we shouldn’t have done that” he said quietly as he backed away, he turned his back to you “Please don’t ever do that again”
Your tears began to flow as you watched him just walk away, his frame disappearing into the trees and leaving you alone in the darkness that surrounded you.
Your legs gave out beneath you, your body dropping to the ground as you clutched at the stabbing pain in your chest. He did it, he finally did it.
You showed him your feelings and he ripped the heart that beats vigorously for him right out of your chest.
“Princess?” Seung hyun calling broke you out of the memory.
“Sorry” you replied with a smile as you wiped away the single tear that managed to escape before helping him clean up the mess the others had left behind.
“What’s wrong?” he asked placing down the pile of plates he had acquired.
“Nothing, it’s nothing”
He took the glasses from your hands and placed them back on the table before forcing you to turn and face him. “Tell me”
“It’s nothing, really” you replied, trying to brush it off, trying to brush him off but he wasn’t having it.
“No, tell me, tell me all the things you ever wanted to say but never did”
You looked down at your hands, you weren’t sure if this really was the right time to do this. You had only just started to become comfortable with him again, you’d only just allowed yourself to open up and in reality, it was only a crack. One small crack in the wall you had built to protect yourself from the world.
“I want you to tell me, I want to know what’s bothering you, I want to know everything about you and more this time”
You looked up at him, his face sincere as he stared back at you. A million thoughts ran through your mind but only one stuck out in the flooded mess. “Why her?”
Seung hyun let out an audible sigh before answering “Because she was there”
You furrowed your brow at his words, a mix of confusion and anger mashed together as you lost it “Because she was there? What the hell kind of answer is that? There were others that were there”
“No there wasn’t”
“Yes there was, there was always girls surrounding you but you never took the time to notice them”
“I noticed, I always noticed”
The anger rose with in you as your mind flooded with everything you had been struggling with, with all the shit you went through because of her. “Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t be serious” you said shaking your head as you pushed him away.
“Princess…”
“Are you honestly telling me right now that i went through all of that, that I lost everything precious to me because of someone that was just there?”
He didn’t say a word, he just looked back at you with a pitiful expression.
You couldn’t control yourself anymore, all the hatred you had held for him and what happened came pouring out of you. “How could you do this? How could you put me through this over nothing? For nothing more then getting your dick wet” you screamed as you began hitting at his chest, he didn’t stop you, he just closed his eyes as he let you take your frustrations out on him. “Don’t just stand there, do something, for once in your pathetic fucking life, do something” you screamed, giving him a shove.
He stumbled back, his eyes snapped open revealing the tears his was about to shed. “I’m sorry”
“Sorry? That’s all you have to say?”
“I’m sorry” he repeated as his tears finally broke. “I deserve your hate for what I did, for what I let her do. I knew… I knew all along that I never loved her…”
Before he could finish, you reach out and slapped him with so much force that his head snapped to the side.
“I hate you” you body shook as you screamed at him.
You could feel the crack sealing itself back up again, the last three days had meant nothing. You let out a frustrated scream before turning to walk away, you were done, there was nothing left here for you.
He grabbed you and pulled you back to him. “Let me go” you yelled as you lunged out at him again.
“Hit me all you want but please don’t go” his croaky words caused your body to shake more violently, your emotions clawing their way out of you with such force that your legs gave out. He picked up on it straight away, his arm came down and scooped up your legs before he carried you back to the bedroom as you sobbed into his chest.
He didn’t let you go, he laid down, leaving you on top of him as he held onto you tightly. Your fingers grasped at his shirt, trying to control yourself but it wasn’t any good. One of his hands came up and brushed the hair at the back of your head, attempting to sooth you.
“Why?” you managed to weakly push out between sobs.
“Because I couldn’t be alone….” he answered almost as equally as weak, his hand still brushing at your hair.
“Why not?”
You felt his chest rise and fall dramatically as he let out a sigh, like he was trying to calm himself but the erratic beating in his chest told you otherwise.
“Because, if I were alone, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself around you any longer. I didn’t want to ruin what we had, I didn’t want to put you through the crazy things I think and feel or the life I lead. I didn’t want the media or my fans to get their hands on you and ruin your pure soul. I couldn’t let you be torn to shreds by them because of me”
Your sobs had stopped at his words but your tears remained at his heartfelt words, even though you didn’t fully understand them.
“What are you saying?”
“I loved you, I always did and I still do”
You froze at his confession, out of all the possibilities of why he was with her, this one never once crossed your mind.
“I didn’t want to fuck things up, I didn’t want to fuck this up but in the end, I did anyway”
Your heart skipped a beat followed by a wave of sadness washing over you, thinking of all that could have been, of all the missed moments of the last few years and the years that you let pass by without saying a word to him.
“I’m sorry for hurting you” he whispered into the dark.
Silence ensued, you stayed laid in his arms for what felt like hours before he eventually fell asleep. Finally feeling as though you could breath, you sat back and watched him as he slept. Even though he was sleeping soundly, there was a look of unease on his face.
You reached up, your hand tracing the edges of his face before shifting to his lips. He stirred, furrowing his brow as his hands grasped at you and pulled you closer.
Laying your head back on his chest, you stared at the wall, your mind filling with what he had said. Your heart pounded against your ribs when you recalled his confession.
So what next? Should you start again or continue from where you left off? Stay friends or would you start a relationship?
Panic came over you with the last thought, he had confessed his feelings for you, he told you he wanted to know more about you this time, he was obviously wanting more than being just friends.
You suddenly felt suffocated in his arms that held you as fear dug its filthy claws in again. Tears started to fall from your eyes, your breathing heavy as you slipped out of his embrace and out of his room.
You couldn’t do this, you weren’t ready for this. You weren’t ready to be with him, to have a relationship.
“I’m sorry” you called out to nothing before slipping out the front door and back out of his life.
