#christian community

[John 13:31] is the start of John’s report of the great final teaching of Jesus at the Last Supper about the future of His Church and His disciples. [It is] a great discourse of Jesus about the obligations, duties and dangers which will come upon His disciples after His own death and resurrection, [a time we also live in. So, like the Apostles,] as we approach the Birth of the Church at Pentecost, we need to listen to how Jesus envisaged His community. [This discourse immediately] gives the essentials. At the head of the Christian community stands [Christ,] the glorified Son of Man, in Whom God is glorified. But this is no distant figurehead, for He will come to be present among His disciples. And how? In the love which His disciples show for one another. One is reminded of the legend about the aged Saint John, wheeled into the church at Ephesus. When asked for the message of Jesus, all he would say was, ‘My little children, love one another.’

Dom Henry Wansbrough; Commentary on John 13:31-35

The Revoice committee put together a marvelous array of thoughtful and helpful workshops. Here is just a glimpse of the ones that I went to:

How to Become Churches that Cultivate Celibacy & Mixed-orientation Marriages

Pieter Valk of EQUIP

This one opened my eyes to how much more a church can support a Side B Christian. I was lucky enough that my first church after salvation was fully supporting of my same-sex attractedness. I was on a panel two years ago at church, and a question was asked to me “How can an LGBT person feel loved and accepted in the church?”. I replied that I already feel loved and to keep doing what it was doing. Boy, was I naive.

There are 5 basic things a church can do to make LGBT Christians feel more welcomed:

1. Offer God’s narrative of sexual stewardship to all people. (When we leave out a group of people, our church is not whole.)
   
2. Talk about the reality of SSA among Christians. (Churches shouldn’t have to be affirming or non-affirming. It should be loving or loving.)
3. Start talking about this at an early age. (Average time between a teen coming out to themself and to a parent is 5 years.)
4. Effectively minister to LGBT+ people. (You can’t outreach to the LGBT community without making our church safe and whole.)
5. Become churches where people can thrive in celibacy and MoMs:

Practical steps for cultivating celibacy

1. Model it - Children must see celibate people thriving and leading. 
2. Teach it - The Gospel isn’t an imitation of marriage. It’s an imitation of the Trinity. Jesus didn’t lift up celibacy for only just a few people. In the New Heaven and New Earth, everyone will be celibate anyway.
3. Discern it - Unless 10% of straight Christians accept the call to celibacy, how will gay Christians be celibate?
4. Support it - Invite celibate people to be in the body of Christ. Don’t just have married-couple events, but have church-wide events. Small groups should be multi-generational. Celibate Christians should be invited to a nuclear family. Go as far as inviting them into nuclear homes for dinners, vacations, and even habitation. Form celibate households (like contemporary monasteries?). It shouldn’t just take 2 people to raise 4 kids. It should take the whole village.
5. Celebrate it - There are already so many celebrations for couples. Let’s highlight and celebrate our celibate brothers and sisters. Hold ceremonies for vows of celibacy.

Practical steps for cultivating mixed-orientation marriages

1. Normalizethem - They are common and beautiful for those called to them. They were pushed for in the 80s-2000s, and pushes against in the 2000s-2010s. We only heard about the bad MoMs, but the good MoMs need to be cultivated and talked about more.
   
2. Teachaccurately about marriage - which is emotional intimacy, vulnerability, commitment, and possibly raising children together. It isn’t necessarily about sexual attraction, romantic fulfillment, or companionship (and even secular sex therapists would agree about that).
3. Amplifytheir stories - MoMs contain both beauty and brokenness. 
4. Cultivatecelibacy - a reminder that celibacy is an option instead of MoMs so that people don’t feel forced into MoMs.

If your churches are struggling to maintain Side B Christians in your church, this can help start a conversation. (Most of my notes just copied from Valk’s workshop).

Race and Intersectionality

I wasn’t planning on going to this panel, but I didn’t realize how much I needed it. (I’m not a racial minority. I don’t have any struggles about my race, right?) Intersectionality is the concept that the experiences and prejudice of one class of people is not enough to encompass a person who intersects from another class of people. Let’s dive in:

First we touched upon the differences between how cultures “come out.” White people expect a narrative of fear or misunderstanding, like how coming out is displayed on the big screen. Sueann Shiah recounted that her parents were quite nonchalant about it (Taiwan was the first Asian country to legalize same-sex marriage).

We then touched upon different viewpoints. Similar to Ron Belgau’s sentiment in the preconference, you can find unlikely allies with friends who have differing points of views. It keeps you in check, and people value those opinions.

In terms of the intersection between queer and Christian, I was relieved when I was reminded that there is no how-to guide to be a queer Christian. Sueann had to learn where her moral boundaries were by either pushing the boundary too far or sticking too close. I’ve been sort of doing the same thing these past few months. I was careful to make sure that I know the consequences of pushing boundaries.

We made the distinguishment between God’s law and man’s law. Sometimes it’s easy to blend the two. But it was at this panel I felt a tugging in my heart. I was assured that the image of God was goodness and that my heart for justice is from God. Of course, I was wary of how far I can go for social justice. The best piece of advice is: Do not invest in people who are not willing to invest in you. Likewise, do not try to teach people who you are not willing to learn from.

LGBT Culture and History

Grant Hartley deserved the standing ovation given after his workshop. Topic hotly debated, I am proud of his contribution to our LGBT Christian culture. Here’s a sneak peek before the video goes public:

1. Sexual minorities (or LGBT+ SSA people) have unique needs and gifts.
   
2. Sexual minorities produce a culture of belonging (that isn’t necessarily sexual).
3. They have good, bad, and redeemable aspects, which are complex.

I want to focus on what he found about the second aspect of sexual minorities in history. Several LGBT groups throughout the decade were actually opposed to the overt sexualization of their communities. These include activists groups like the Mattachine Society (1950). In fact, the largest mass shooting of LGBT people in the US was in New Orleans in 1973. These people were attending a regular church meeting at a gay bar. 

Unfortunately, entities like Anita Bryant, Jerry Falwell, and the Moral Majority used fear to silence and ridicule my people. I realize these victims were my ancestors - fighting and living to make America better for me. I owe my life to these strong members of my Chosen Family.

Here are my (scattered) closing thoughts from Revoice: 

You should be loved as you are. Not as you should be.

Typically missionaries need to research a foreign country in order to love them. Straight Christians should do the same for LGBT people. 

Likewise, God doesn’t call just one tongue to confess his name. God’s love needs to be shared in a person’s native language. LGBT people need to be in ministry.

People need to understand the different levels of coming out. There’s living “out and proud”, and there’s choosing life or death.

Churches need to separate sexual integrity/addiction ministries with sexual minority ministries.

Hugs are good. (I’m not trying to be silly. There is an important why God designed physical touch.)

And lastly, the burden of figuring out how to be an LGBT Christian shouldn’t be on the LGBT Christian. Allies should walk with us through our burdens, and this form of love trickles down to all Christians. Leaders should be calling out other leaders who are being ignorant of us. There should be public repentance if anyone uses the Lord’s word against us. We are simply examining and defining our lives, just as anyone else is, and we want to live our lives because God loved us.