#gay christian

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grantaire-put-that-bottle-down:

hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!

No no no! Jewish LGBTQ kinderlach! Go to Keshet! 

hoperemains is completely from a Christian perspective, and not pluralistic or interfaith at all.

If you reblogged the first post from me please reblog this amendment so the Jewish peeps can access this resource too! 

Trans Jewish kids, you can go to TransTorah as well!

Muslim LGBTQ kids, you can go to iamnotharaam! It’s run by a mod squad of different genders and orientations, and they take submissions from everybody!

–BB

MAY ANYONE WHO REBLOGS THIS BE ELEVATED TO THE EQUIVALENT OF SAINTHOOD IN THEIR RELIGION BLESS ALL OF YOU OH MY GOD.

REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE IT’S SO FREAKING IMPORTANT TO ME AND ALL MY FOLLOWERS TO READ THAT DEAL WITH GRIEF AND GUILT WHILE BEING LGBTQ AND RELIGIOUS

http://hoperemainsonline.com/ Is the new site for hoperemains. Every other link is still active as of 1/9/2020

Links are all good (with supremejellyfish’s replacement) as of 10/27/2021.

I would also recommend Eshel for Orthodox Jews - Keshet is great and pluralistic, but definitely focused on a more liberal view of Judaism and halacha.

If anyone has a more active link for LGBTQ+ Muslims let me know and I’d happily reblog it - the blog listed looks like it’s been pretty quiet for a while.

I forgot to mention how I completely feel the Holy Spirit’s presence when I’m with other gay Christians. Revoice had chosen what I thought was a fitting theme song for the weekend.

“Oh How Good”  — KEITH GETTY, KRISTYN GETTY, ROSS HOLMES, AND STUART TOWNEND © 2012

Oh how good it is
When the family of God
Dwells together in spirit
In faith and unity.

This was a chosenfamily (if you will, from Grant Hartley’s talk) of God. We not only chose God, but we chose to come together in Christ and our united experiences as LGBT and SSA Christians.

Where the bonds of peace,
Of acceptance and love
Are the fruit of His presence
Here among us.

Hundreds of SSA Christians are simply not accepted at their churches. How beautiful it is to finally be in a place where He is present, and acceptancesurrounds us. This acceptance and love was what drew me to Christ, but it was also what I feared not having because of my sexual orientation. Tears from this.

CHORUS
So with one voice we’ll sing to the Lord
And with one heart we’ll live out His word
Till the whole earth sees
The Redeemer has come
For He dwells in the presence of His people.

This was the theme of the conference. We are singing to revoice what has been told to us by those who don’t understand. We are singing to our Redeemer and coming as we are.

Oh how good it is
On this journey we share
To rejoice with the happy
And weep with those who mourn.

I couldn’t help but rejoice with those who are making strides in their churches, and it deeply, deeply pained me to hear stories of oppression and misunderstanding by others. Simply hearing how Christians could simply could not come out because they were mistreated or ignored made my heart ache. (Double weeping on my part from this verse).

For the weak find strength 
The afflicted find grace 
When we offer the blessing 
Of belonging. 

Offering the blessing of belonging had a huge impact on individuals I met. A couple of them had never met another gay Christian before. I know how lonely it feels to be the only gay person in a church.

Reckless Love - Cory Asbury, Caleb Culver, Ran Jackson © 2017

I’ve sung this song dozens of times, but I never realized what it means for LGB Christians:

Oh, it chases me down, fights ‘til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

This to me represent’s Christ’s love for the marginalized. Roughly 4% of American adults identify as LGBT. Yet the church often forgets we exists. Christ’s love doesn’t just settle with “well, at least I have the majority.” He chases down and loves every single one of his sheep.

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
No lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me

The shadow here for me was how dark the church feels when no one’s talking about LGBT people. It took me 8 years in church to finally hear a message on homosexuality. The lie that Jesus tore down was the lie that “you can’t be gay and be Christian.” My friends came from several churches who believed this lie, and I can’t stress enough how heartbroken I am when my friends hear this lie be preached over and over.

I’m not saying that these songs were written about LGBT people, but it’s so clear to me why and how God loves His LGBT children.

The Revoice committee put together a marvelous array of thoughtful and helpful workshops. Here is just a glimpse of the ones that I went to:

How to Become Churches that Cultivate Celibacy & Mixed-orientation Marriages

Pieter Valk of EQUIP

This one opened my eyes to how much more a church can support a Side B Christian. I was lucky enough that my first church after salvation was fully supporting of my same-sex attractedness. I was on a panel two years ago at church, and a question was asked to me “How can an LGBT person feel loved and accepted in the church?”. I replied that I already feel loved and to keep doing what it was doing. Boy, was I naive.

There are 5 basic things a church can do to make LGBT Christians feel more welcomed:

1. Offer God’s narrative of sexual stewardship to all people. (When we leave out a group of people, our church is not whole.)
   
2. Talk about the reality of SSA among Christians. (Churches shouldn’t have to be affirming or non-affirming. It should be loving or loving.)
3. Start talking about this at an early age. (Average time between a teen coming out to themself and to a parent is 5 years.)
4. Effectively minister to LGBT+ people. (You can’t outreach to the LGBT community without making our church safe and whole.)
5. Become churches where people can thrive in celibacy and MoMs:

Practical steps for cultivating celibacy

1. Model it - Children must see celibate people thriving and leading. 
2. Teach it - The Gospel isn’t an imitation of marriage. It’s an imitation of the Trinity. Jesus didn’t lift up celibacy for only just a few people. In the New Heaven and New Earth, everyone will be celibate anyway.
3. Discern it - Unless 10% of straight Christians accept the call to celibacy, how will gay Christians be celibate?
4. Support it - Invite celibate people to be in the body of Christ. Don’t just have married-couple events, but have church-wide events. Small groups should be multi-generational. Celibate Christians should be invited to a nuclear family. Go as far as inviting them into nuclear homes for dinners, vacations, and even habitation. Form celibate households (like contemporary monasteries?). It shouldn’t just take 2 people to raise 4 kids. It should take the whole village.
5. Celebrate it - There are already so many celebrations for couples. Let’s highlight and celebrate our celibate brothers and sisters. Hold ceremonies for vows of celibacy.

Practical steps for cultivating mixed-orientation marriages

1. Normalizethem - They are common and beautiful for those called to them. They were pushed for in the 80s-2000s, and pushes against in the 2000s-2010s. We only heard about the bad MoMs, but the good MoMs need to be cultivated and talked about more.
   
2. Teachaccurately about marriage - which is emotional intimacy, vulnerability, commitment, and possibly raising children together. It isn’t necessarily about sexual attraction, romantic fulfillment, or companionship (and even secular sex therapists would agree about that).
3. Amplifytheir stories - MoMs contain both beauty and brokenness. 
4. Cultivatecelibacy - a reminder that celibacy is an option instead of MoMs so that people don’t feel forced into MoMs.

If your churches are struggling to maintain Side B Christians in your church, this can help start a conversation. (Most of my notes just copied from Valk’s workshop).

Race and Intersectionality

I wasn’t planning on going to this panel, but I didn’t realize how much I needed it. (I’m not a racial minority. I don’t have any struggles about my race, right?) Intersectionality is the concept that the experiences and prejudice of one class of people is not enough to encompass a person who intersects from another class of people. Let’s dive in:

First we touched upon the differences between how cultures “come out.” White people expect a narrative of fear or misunderstanding, like how coming out is displayed on the big screen. Sueann Shiah recounted that her parents were quite nonchalant about it (Taiwan was the first Asian country to legalize same-sex marriage).

We then touched upon different viewpoints. Similar to Ron Belgau’s sentiment in the preconference, you can find unlikely allies with friends who have differing points of views. It keeps you in check, and people value those opinions.

In terms of the intersection between queer and Christian, I was relieved when I was reminded that there is no how-to guide to be a queer Christian. Sueann had to learn where her moral boundaries were by either pushing the boundary too far or sticking too close. I’ve been sort of doing the same thing these past few months. I was careful to make sure that I know the consequences of pushing boundaries.

We made the distinguishment between God’s law and man’s law. Sometimes it’s easy to blend the two. But it was at this panel I felt a tugging in my heart. I was assured that the image of God was goodness and that my heart for justice is from God. Of course, I was wary of how far I can go for social justice. The best piece of advice is: Do not invest in people who are not willing to invest in you. Likewise, do not try to teach people who you are not willing to learn from.

LGBT Culture and History

Grant Hartley deserved the standing ovation given after his workshop. Topic hotly debated, I am proud of his contribution to our LGBT Christian culture. Here’s a sneak peek before the video goes public:

1. Sexual minorities (or LGBT+ SSA people) have unique needs and gifts.
   
2. Sexual minorities produce a culture of belonging (that isn’t necessarily sexual).
3. They have good, bad, and redeemable aspects, which are complex.

I want to focus on what he found about the second aspect of sexual minorities in history. Several LGBT groups throughout the decade were actually opposed to the overt sexualization of their communities. These include activists groups like the Mattachine Society (1950). In fact, the largest mass shooting of LGBT people in the US was in New Orleans in 1973. These people were attending a regular church meeting at a gay bar. 

Unfortunately, entities like Anita Bryant, Jerry Falwell, and the Moral Majority used fear to silence and ridicule my people. I realize these victims were my ancestors - fighting and living to make America better for me. I owe my life to these strong members of my Chosen Family.

Here are my (scattered) closing thoughts from Revoice: 

You should be loved as you are. Not as you should be.

Typically missionaries need to research a foreign country in order to love them. Straight Christians should do the same for LGBT people. 

Likewise, God doesn’t call just one tongue to confess his name. God’s love needs to be shared in a person’s native language. LGBT people need to be in ministry.

People need to understand the different levels of coming out. There’s living “out and proud”, and there’s choosing life or death.

Churches need to separate sexual integrity/addiction ministries with sexual minority ministries.

Hugs are good. (I’m not trying to be silly. There is an important why God designed physical touch.)

And lastly, the burden of figuring out how to be an LGBT Christian shouldn’t be on the LGBT Christian. Allies should walk with us through our burdens, and this form of love trickles down to all Christians. Leaders should be calling out other leaders who are being ignorant of us. There should be public repentance if anyone uses the Lord’s word against us. We are simply examining and defining our lives, just as anyone else is, and we want to live our lives because God loved us. 

I rode that hamster wheel for ten years before finally FINALLY coming to trust that yes, you can be gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer and a Christian, that being LGBTQ is a normal, natural part of the diversity of God’s creation.
But how do I know?

Read the full article here.

The Bible isn’t a rulebook (though some books in it have some rules meant for certain people in specific contexts). And the Bible doesn’t speak in a unified voice. It’s a collection of books written and compiled by countless authors, many of whom were drawing upon other oral and written traditions that came before them. In places, the Bible even contradicts itself.

Read the full article here.

But when the Bible talks about Pride the Bible is talking about people who lord their station over others. People who are oppressors and tyrants. People who think they speak for God. The Bible is talking about people who are cruel to others, who sow dissension, who don’t act in the best interest of the community.

Read the full article here.

The lesbian and gay Christian conversation (with occasional comments about bisexual and transgender folks) seems to finally be hitting its peak. Everywhere you turn these days there are new books and conferences and denominational statements. I’m observing some troubling trends within this LG(BT) Christian movement.

Read the full article here

If you’ve ever been to a Pride celebration you know that the people watching is fantastic! There are colorful outfits, elaborate costumes, cute kids, couples holding hands, and more. It’s lovely!

And there are no small number of people who are basically wearing nothing.

Read the full article here

Just a couple of weeks after I returned home from the mission trip that changed everything, I packed up my stuff and started college at a conservative Evangelical college in the Midwest. The school rules were simple: no smoking, no drinking, no sex, and absolutely no dancing. Oh, and no gay people either. I still didn’t have language for my gender identity but I knew I felt completely out of place living in the girls’ dorm. I didn’t feel like I fit in with other people on my hall and I was worried that they would be weird with me if they found out I “struggled with homosexual tendencies” (as I was calling it).

As difficult as the summer was, I still felt called to ministry. I knew God wanted me to be working in the church. I declared a double major: Youth Ministry and Communications (with a theatre emphasis). I was going to learn how to reach people and make good art that would change things.

In college I made new friends who made space for my changing identity and beliefs. I made art that I was really proud of for the first time, art that asked questions instead of simply providing all of the answers. But I also grappled with mental health stemming directly from my struggles with my sexuality and from my shifting faith. It was a challenge and I didn’t feel like there was anyone I could talk to. I tried on campus therapy but quit as soon as the counselor brought up the way I dressed. It didn’t feel like a safe space.

Read the whole thing here!

How can you relate to this? Hit reply to let us know what this article brings up for you.

Blessings,
Fr. Shay

Two weeks after my Canadian wedding I started seminary at Union Theological Seminary in New York. It was the first place where I was able to spend every day as all of myself. Fully queer. Fully Christian. There was no apologizing for who I was.

Seminary was both trying and incredible. I was finally given the tools to understand my faith. I learned all of these things that had been kept from me in all of my evangelical schooling. I learned where certain doctrines came from and how there were a lot of different views on things I had always been taught were settled. Things like what salvation meant, what the death of Jesus meant, what sin was, and on and on. I learned about the history of various denominations which made what they believed make so much sense. I learned that nothing is formed in a vacuum; everything has a context.

Make no mistake, this was hard work. It was rigorous. It took effort and commitment. In some ways it would have been easier to not put in the work. To just walk away from Christianity. But there was something about this Jesus story that kept pulling me back in and made me want to find out if I could have a faith that was life-giving.

So I put in the work and it was was healing. But it also wasn’t over.

Read the whole thing here!

Let me know what you think about this and what feelings it brings up for you!

Blessings,
Fr. Shay

Over the last couple of months I’ve gotten asked the same question multiple times: How do transgender people fit in with a belief in the “image of God” and the belief that God doesn’t make mistakes?…Your question assumes a couple of things: There is *one* image of God. There is a *right* image of God. We know what the image of God is. I find all of those things hard to believe.

Read the full article here »

So let’s cut through all the noise, right? Let’s go straight to the source… let’s take a look at what the Bible says! That will tell us what to think and how to act, right? (Spoiler alert: it won’t)

Read the full article here.

I hear this question a lot. The sense I get is that the asker is saying: “Can I still be a good and loving person and believe this way?” At least that’s the generous understanding. It could be coming from a place of “In this age of political correctness is it possible to hold a viewpoint that feels offensive to some people?”

Read the full article here.

The short answer is no.

EVIDENCE SHOWS THAT WHEN PARENTS DO NOT ACCEPT AND AFFIRM THEIR LGBTQ CHILDREN, LGBTQ CHILDREN ARE AT INCREASED RISK FOR MENTAL, PHYSICAL, AND EMOTIONAL HARM.

Read full article here