Rating M*A*S*H recurring characters

PA Announcer: 10,000/10: Deserves main character status tbh.

Sparky: 20/10. The legend we never got to meet.

Nurse Kellye: 10/10, an absolute queen, stunning and show-stopping even if she is just walking around the compound. She got her own episode and it was glorious.

Goldman: 8/10, missing 2 points because he didn’t get the quantity of dialogue he deserved. Best corpsman in the business, carries patients with ease.

Sophie:1000/10.Who’s the good horse? She is. She is the good horse.

Rizzo: 15/10. Would never let him teach me how to drive a jeep, but gets all the points for pronouncing it as “Vee-hickle”

Captain Tuttle: 10/10. RIP king

Colonel Flagg: 50/10. King of turning up when nobody wants him to. Which is always. A paranoid bastard I am slightly afraid of, but always entertains the camp, so…..

That one Korean actor that played a 100 different Koreans: 500/10. Somehow played the same character differently every time.

Rosie: 10/10. She could choke me, slap me and throw me out of her bar and I would thank her on my knees for it.

Igor: 9/10. A bad cook, but a decent butt of jokes.

Sidney Freedman: 100000000000/10. Instant likability, great advice giver, genuinely cares about the camp, took on Flagg with glee and made Hawkeye blubber like a baby on two separate occasions. What a fucking king.

Colonel Flagg was the original “lights are on but nobody’s home” bitch. M*A*S*H really had the audacity to show how paranoid, ignorant, wasteful of resources and plain fucking stupid governments can be, all packed into one character.

It really is the greatest show ever.