#conditionning
I wore a t-shirt and some wide-legged pants today. This is a totally normal outfit formula for me. I’ve worn minor variations on this outfit several times a week for three months. I get occasional compliments on it, especially if I’m wearing a particularly cute top.
Today, I received six compliments on it in three hours. Many quite effuse and gushing.
What’s the difference?
I wore makeup today. I was expecting to be photographed, which is basically the only situation in which I will wear makeup. It wasn’t a lot of makeup. A little concealer, a little eyeliner and mascara, a little blush. It’s barely noticeable that I’m even wearing makeup.
But it was enough.
When we say wearing makeup isn’t a choice you make “for yourself,” it’s conditioned into you via social approval/disapproval, this is what we mean. Nobody complimented my makeup, they complimented my outfit. If I didn’t already know how this works, I might never have made the connection. But that’s how this works. It’s insidious. “I just feel more confident when I wear makeup!” No, other people reward you in subtle ways when you wear makeup.
And I don’t blame the people who commented. It’s not like they’re all in on some conspiracy to make me wear makeup more often. They just noticed that I looked unusually “nice,” and wanted to say something nice about it. They probably didn’t even notice that the makeup was what was different.
But the message was loud and clear - people like my appearance more when I wear makeup. People are nicer to me when I wear makeup. People go out of their way to say nice things to me when I wear makeup.
Nobody is immune to that. I certainly am not immune to that.
