#connotation

Funnily enough, words have power. 

Those words can blend together, occupy the same space in our minds, to the degree that two words that sound the same, but used in different contexts, can have their meanings grafted onto one another. So that we think of that concept in the same terms, because we’re a species that needs a name for everything. 

There’s a lot of power in a name.

So let me separate the terms for you, do a little rewiring. It’s ok, I’m a qualified professional, I know my nuts from my bolts. Just stay still and let me tinker for a moment, and I’ll have it all sorted out in a jiffy.

You’ve got submissives, and Submissives. I use the capital not out of any particular respect, but just because one is a proper noun and one is an adjective. When outside of the world of D/s, calling someone ‘submissive’ has the following connotations:

• Shyness.
• Introversion.
• Weak willed.
• Timid.
• Lacking in confidence.

Which is rather wholly negative, I’m sure you would agree. A bit of a doormat, that submissive is. Not really all that much fun.

Within the world of D/s, however, the meaning is wholly different. It’s less about personality traits, instead focusing on their sexual proclivities, and how they like to be treated within a romantic relationship. The problem is, it’s a word that has been reclaimed from common use, and so the connotations get carried along with it. 

They’re redundant. Hell, they’re misleading. I’m not just unsurprised when a Submissive makes a bold move, I’ll outright expect it. It’s about having a confident, passionate woman who will willingly defer to me, rather than someone who is naturally weak and subservient. It’s about a decisive nature on the Submissive’s part, far more than it is on mine. While I might make a lot of decisions, the most powerful is in her hands. That’s quite the thing. 

So let’s separate one from the other, shall we? It might go a way to removing those feelings from submissive’s altogether, because I’m fairly sure that that perception isn’t doing anyone any good, and might actually be creating those tendencies where they have no right to exist.

You’re not automatically a submissive because you’re a Submissive. There may be some overlap, but that’s half the point of the Dominant. To make sure any commonalities get removed. So you can be a Submissive and a strong individual.