<<sorry not sorry this is literally just angst whoops>>
t/w : angst / crying
wc: 582-drabble
though he was stern and serious, and those eyebrows never seemed to raise, hotch had always had a special place in your heart. by that, you mean you had the biggest crush imaginable on your boss, aaron hotchner. everyone on the team had noticed it, except for the man that was supposed to be the best profilier in the bau – ironic, right?
penelope made fun of you for it constantly, of course. “y/n! hes at leasttwice your age!” she’d say. and, while that was almost true, you’d just throw a sarcastic “nineteen” her way and roll your eyes.
derek thought it was hilarious, too, and never seemed to give the winks and smirks a rest. anytime you and hotch were on assignment together he’d say something along the lines of “don’t have too much fun you two!” and yet hotch never caught a hint.
emily and jj just thought it was adorable that you had a crush on hotch, with the latter singing, “y/l/n and hotch-ner sittin in a tree” while the doctor sat clueless.
nevertheless, your fascination and longing for the stone-cold unit chief persisted, with you trailing behind in a blaze of flushed cheeks and awkward small-talk any time you were near him.
today, you had decided to come in early to have breakfast with the ladies of the team, which you almost never did. your conversation about henry’s latest interest in dinosaurs was rudely interrupted by morgan not-so-subtly nudging your shoulder and gesturing to rossi and hotch who were leaving hotch’s office and chatting. confused, you looked to where he pointed.
that’s when you heard it.
“well is she cute?” dave asked.
“yes she is, but..” that’s all you allowed yourself to hear for a moment as the blood drained from your face.
“well what’s her name?” dave prodded.
“beth,” hotch replied with a small smile.
bethyou thought. beth.
penelope heard, too, and could only look at you with her mouth slightly agape.
emily and jj followed suit, eyes wide, while yours began to heat up with tears. you promptly stood out of your seat and made your way to the bathroom. you closed the door behind you and sobbed quietly. after years of waiting, of pining and crushing and waitingand this is what you get? beth?
the door handle turns and you race to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
“y/n? y/n i am so so sorry,” says penelope quietly.
“it’s fine,” you say with a sniff. “i should have figured this would happen, i mean, i’m way to young for him anyway.”
“still you’re in pieces! i just don’t get how he could have missed you after you’ve been right in front of him all this time,” she says sadly.
“i’m glad he’s finally ready to see someone after haley but i guess i just thought that someone would be me,” you said. “i shouldn’t have got my hopes up.”
the door opens once more. “sorry, y/n, garcia, we have a case,” jj says.
“alright,” garcia replies for the both of you. she helps you fix your mascara, but your face is still puffy from crying. you head toward the conference room and sit down as if nothing had happened at all.
hotch looks at you puzzled, and you muster a small smile. he mouths, “is everything alright?”
you huff a small laugh and nod back. the best profiler in the room and he still had no idea.
ok but real talk, max found out about some of reid’s worst trauma, likely involving his mother, sexual violating in mexico, and prison. even after finding that all out, max wasn’t even like nah this is too much i’m out, she’s staying and she’s probs gonna help him through other healing as well ugh they’re so……
I probably won’t be able to watch that particularpart.
I had an actual physical reaction to JJ and Spencer’s hospital conversation. I could feel my insides twist with a sort of second-hand embarrassment, and I couldn’t look at the TV.
No way can I be forced to witness a Cat/Spencer kiss
The first pic, with Cat and Spencer, I can guess what happened….Cat probably skated in front of him ,turned and stopped abruptly causing Reid to grab her and making the pic look like they’re in a kissing pose.
I agree…the second hand embarrassment that I felt with JJ and Reid conversation in the hospital was high but this with Cat, the embarrassment will be off the charts.
The only thing that makes the Cat crap palatable is Spencer is doing this for Max and her family.
