The house is quiet. They close the door, latch it, and sink down exhausted onto the stone bench. John rises once to make certain the latch is secure, and Mary another time to light the lamp. Outside, people pass in the street. The oil lamp flickers unsteadily. The evening rolls into the night.
I drew a set of Stations of the Cross for my community. You can find all of them at thestations.net This is the first one, Jesus in the Garden of Gesthemane.
I’ve been obsessed with the Stations for a while—I love constraints in comics, and the Stations of the Cross are a comic that has been drawn and redrawn by cartoonists in the Christian tradition for at least a millennium and a half. (I’m using the word “comic” broadly—I define a comic as any series of images designed to be read sequentially.) The last month has been a hard, strange time, and I’ve spent most of it indoors, drawing these hard, strange pictures. I have found a paradoxical comfort in sitting with the violence and horror of Jesus’ humiliation and death. I think they mean that God is intimately aware of our fragility: he knows what it is to live in a soft, fragile body and anticipate painful death; he knows physical pain; he knows unjust political systems that bring death to the innocent. He is not a stranger to all our fear and pain and sorrow. He has held all that and more in his own soft body.
Reblogging for Holy Week 2022. Please feel free to share with your friends + communities: thestations.net
The strange thing about growing up in conservative Christianity and then leaving it behind is that there are a lot of secular/progressive spaces that engage in similar thinking while sincerely believing their ideas are counter to conservative ones. So I thought I would just make a list of things I was taught within conservative Christianity, the stuff that was either the core of our beliefs, or the social dynamics that we created. Some of the language I use is specifically either scriptural, or Christian-speak.
This list isn’t to say “stop thinking this way.” This is actually intended to simply be informative because sometimes social justice spaces assume, “we are crafting our ideals in opposition to conservative ideals therefore whatever we think surely must be the opposite of whatever they think,” without ever seeming to know that their language and ideals look and sound the same.
So, let’s begin:
Sin-leveling: x is bad, and y is bad, and all bad things deserve an equal reaction
Sin-leveling part 2: because all things are equally bad, there’s nothing wrong with inverting the consequences. Hurting others becomes acceptable (because it’s no different than doing something distasteful), doing something distasteful is unforgivable (because it’s no different than doing something harmful)
Avoid all appearance of evil: if I assume that your behavior looks wrong, then you are wrong, even if further context would say otherwise. You should avoid doing anything that others would see as wrong because you are not allowed the benefit of the doubt or to defend yourself.
Sin by association: x company contracted with y company. Y company engages in something sinful, which means x company approves of said sinful thing which means if you purchase from x company, you are condoning, supporting, and have actually committed the sin.
Think only on what is good: or as the pastor of my old church liked to call it, “garbage in, garbage out.” Whatever ideas, thoughts, words, arguments, stories, pictures, books, movies, songs, friends, love you put in your head will create the desire to become that. If you want to be good, you must avoid any bad thought because you will “slip” into wanting it and then be unable to stop yourself from being it. (For example, type into google “is secular music” and click on the autocomplete of “a sin”)
Language as an in-group test: if you do not describe your life, experiences, and beliefs with the exact same vocabulary and in-group speak, you are either not really one of us, or you’re someone who hasn’t thought through their ideas as deeply as I have.
By any means necessary: Also known in the ex-Evangelical world as “lying for Jesus.” If my words create the necessary beliefs and actions in others, then it doesn’t matter if I am exaggerating, saying half-truths, or using manipulative language, because I’m saving others and helping them do what’s right.
Touch not God’s anointed: any critiques of those our community trusts, critiques of those we’ve deemed “the good ones,” are actually people trying to sow discord and disunity to destroy our community and their voice should be silenced because they must be lying.
Judge not lest ye be judged: A scripture that we throw at people when someone says our leadership is abusive, a scripture we cry is being taken out of context when we want to harshly critique someone ourselves.
There’s more, lots more, but this post is already fairly long. Once again, though, this isn’t intended to be combative. I just want people to know the actual social dynamics that a lot of us grew up with in conservative Christianity communities, so they know when sometimes they’re sharing those social dynamics, not countering them.
I don’t engage with the replies to my post but one thing I’ve seen people say a few times is to push back a bit on my ending paragraph, where I say that I’m not telling people to stop thinking this way. Some people will reblog with “yeah but you *should*” or “well *I’m* telling you to stop!”
I wanted to mention why it is that I wrote it that way.
A list full of behaviors and perspectives that are written to say “don’t do this” is exactly part of the problem. It turns it into issues of ‘purging’ harmful beliefs, of trying to purify yourself away from doing or thinking bad things just because some post on the internet told you it was bad.
The reason I am not telling you to stop thinking this way is because I’m telling you to think about what you think about. Here is a series of things I was taught as an Evangelical Christian—do you agree with them? Do you think these are moral? There are certain points people will take issue with me on—sin by association is a big one—and I actually think that’s good. Maybe there are aspects that you think are correct ways to operate within the world.
I was being truthful—I wrote this because I *have* seen people who will use language like this or wield ideologies like these while claiming that they are different. That their leftism is radical in the face of a broader conservative society, without understanding that conservative Christianity *also* thinks they’re radical in a broader *liberal* society, using the exact same tools.
I don’t want people to read this post as another list of Bad Things to Stop Doing. I want people to read it and envision the kinds of community it *builds*—and whether they want that community or not. Because maybe you do. Or maybe you don’t. But it’s better to think about that.
the thing folks living in Christian dominant cultures gotta realize is that even if you’re not Christian, your basic understanding of religion and spirituality and morality is still being filtered through a Christian lens. your very concept of what religion is and does is filtered through that lens.
This is what I call cultural Christianity, for those who are still confused
“But everyone celebrates christmas.”
No. No we don’t.
“Religion is based on complete blind submission and not asking any questions ever”
No. That’s Christianity.
“Religion is totally focused on the afterlife and getting into heaven and avoiding hell”
Nope. Christianity again.
“Religion is about pushing your beliefs on others and trying to get them to convert”
Still Christianity.
Actually that’s even more specific - that’s Calvinism, which predominates in America. America isn’t just culturally Christian,it’s culturally Calvinist, which very specifically focuses on submission, the fear of damnation, and conversion. It’s also not just any old Calvinism, but a very rigidly puritanical variety thanks to our roots.
There are other culturally Christian countries, which are of other denominations and therefore have a slightly different bent. England is culturally Anglican, Germany is culturally Lutheran, Italy and Spain are culturally Catholic, Russia is culturally Orthodox, etc. However, even the cultural Catholicism of Italy is different from, say, the cultural Catholicism of Ireland.
So even here, we need to be careful not to filter other cultures’ Christianities through what is a very Americanized (via @queertilly) Christianity, and vice versa with other countries. Speaking as an American, even our concept of what Christianityis has been Americanised.
^^^ that
Sorry this is a very good and serious post but the second yall said Calvinism my brain thought of this little guy:
Chapel today was really what I needed to hear. Just by being, we are filled with something holy.
As an abuse survivor it was meaningful for a couple of reasons: to abuse another person is to abuse someone holy. There can be no excuse, no deserving. What happened to me was wrong and underserved.
And also an answer to something I struggle with. I often feel like since no one was there during the abuse aside my abuser, no one can understand what happened or how it changed me. I feel like I have become incomprehensible. But if I am filled with the holy spirit, then that spirit was there, that spirit felt the same as I did, that spirit suffered as I did. Maybe I wasn’t alone, and I’m not alone in my recovery. I am understood.
“‘How to Draw Problematic Erotica in a God Honoring Way” (Part 1)
Something a little different than usual! I don’t usually do autobio, but I had an….interesting, very stressful very baffling confrontation the other day that ended up kicking off a whole weird conversation that made me have some Personal Thoughts, so i decided to draw a really quick comic to just. think about stuff lol. Read the rest below the cut:
