Summary:Selected chapters from Life’s Lessons told from Dean’s POV. Scenes that you didn’t get his perspective on, or scenes that you didn’t see… now you can. This part takes place after the events of chapters 5-8 of Life’s Lessons.
Warnings:Slight angst, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head, masturbation, sex dreams
A/N: This is also written for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Bingo, square filled: masturbation. I really hope you guys are enjoying seeing a few things from LL from Dean’s perspective, and maybe even a couple things you didn’t see! ;) As always, happy reading and enjoy! :) beta’d by my darling @downanddirtydean.
Dean shut the door, resting his back against the wood, a large exhale leaving him. He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable feeling to kick in. Sadness. Loneliness. Anger. Regret. He waited for at least one of them to wash over him, but they didn’t. In fact, the only thing he felt was relief.
It was his first time coming back from work to an empty house. Lisa had left a few days ago, both her and Ben driving off in their car. The last thing he saw was the car taking a left at the end of the street, and they were gone. He was of course going to miss the kid, he had really formed a good relationship with Ben, but ultimately it was the right thing for everyone involved that he and Lisa finally broke up and she headed back to Indiana.
As he walked down the hallway, he did feel one of those feelings creep in. Loneliness. For the first time in three years, he was alone. No one to come home to. No one to ask him about his day or greet him with a kiss on the cheek. It only lasted the first year and a half with Lisa, but it was still good while it lasted. He longed for all of that again. To feel wanted by someone. It had never bothered him in the past, to be alone, because he always had something or someone to occupy his time with. He didn’t want to go back to the way he used to be, though. It would be easy to slip back into his old routine, that was true, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want those things anymore; drinking himself blind or hooking up with women he didn’t know. He was done with that. He had had his fun.
What he wanted, more than anything and especially now that he was free to make that decision, was to be with Y/N. Just like most things in his life though, even that wasn’t going to work out because now she was with someone else. Mark something. Mark, who he had met twice now. Once when he was out with his dad and ran into Y/N and Mark, and then again at her birthday when they were having drinks. Mark, who had insulted him and had earned a punch to his irritatingly perfect teeth next time he saw him. He honestly didn’t know what she saw in him, considering they didn’t seem to have much in common or even have much to talk about. He saw her at the bar when they all had drinks together. She was talking with Charlie and Meg mostly, but even if she tried to make it look like she and Mark had something good, he could see the truth.
Dean sighed as he stopped in front of the kitchen sink. He felt something else start to sink in then. Regret. Regret that he hadn’t called it off with Lisa sooner. If he had, he’d be with Y/N now.
His phone vibrated in his pocket causing him to jump, his hand reaching into his pocket and taking it out. He exhaled deeply, seeing Sam’s name on the screen before he answered. Like an idiot, he forgot he was supposed to meet Sam for drinks and called a rain check. His little brother even offered to come over with pizza, beer, and watch Die Hard, something they did when one of them wasn’t in a good mood, but he told Sam he didn’t need to. He could tell Sammy was worried, and probably didn’t believe him when he reassured him that everything was okay as he put on a light tone to his voice, but there was nothing he could do about that.
Dean hung up and placed his phone on the counter, pushing his hands through his hair as he leaned his elbows against the surface. Maybe he should’ve said yes to meeting Sam so he didn’t have to face the eerie and somewhat depressing silence of his house, but he knew his brother would tell him things he wasn’t ready to hear yet. He lifted his head as he heard a car pull up across the street, his eyes immediately finding Y/N as he looked out the kitchen window. He saw her take out a grocery bag and carry it under one arm, her other holding her phone to her ear. He frowned as he watched her walk across the small path to her porch, throwing her head back as she laughed.
His heart began to beat faster against his ribcage as he felt the urge to go to her, to ask her whether she’d want to have dinner, and maybe finally open up to her about how he was feeling. Now that Lisa was gone, he could finally be honest with her. With the way she was smiling, however, he knew that she was talking to Mark. He stepped back from the counter, shaking his head at his own stupid thoughts. Maybe he was free for them to be together, but she wasn’t.
He made his way down the hallway and into his bedroom, stripping off his clothes before he stepped into the bathroom and left the door slightly ajar. He turned the shower on, making sure the water was warm before he stepped in, pulling the curtain closed. He pressed his hands against the tiled wall, leaning forward as the spray washed down his head and wet his hair, down his shoulders and back. He couldn’t take his mind off Y/N but considering they had spent part of her birthday together despite her insistence that they couldn’t be around each other, he wasn’t surprised by that fact. She had been constantly in his thoughts since they met, and then he kissed her on that fateful night, and everything was different between them.
Suddenly they weren’t just friends and neighbors. They were two people who couldn’t explore their feelings because of their situations. Their timing was never right, with him ending things with Lisa just as Y/N found Mark. None of it was playing it out the way he had hoped, the way he had dreamed on nights he fell asleep beside Lisa but was overwhelmed by thoughts of his beautiful neighbor.
His eyes shut tightly as he felt his cock twitch, his mind getting away from him as he pictured Y/N. He saw her on the night she came over for dinner, laughing and smiling at him, her hand fitting perfectly in his, her lips against his as they forgot about the reality of their situation for a moment and kissed. His hand drifted down, wrapping around his shaft and pumping slowly, his other still pressed into the wall to keep himself steady. He groaned softly as he remembered the feel of her skin against his palms, as his hands slid up her back under her sweater, right before she pushed him away. The scent of her perfume as he kissed along her neck and collarbone drove him insane, nipping at her flesh.
A low growl fell from his lips as memories turned into fantasies, to images of her beneath him, their bodies writhing against each other as he moved deep within her. His hand stroked over his cock a little quicker, his imagination running wild as he heard her moaning his name in the heat of passion, his hands in hers as they stared into each other’s eyes. Their lips fused together in a searing kiss, Dean rolling onto his back as he held her close.
He smiled softly as he pictured her above him, gazing down at him, his hands on her hips as her hips rocked against his. Their movement became frantic as she pressed her hands into his chest, his thrusts faster as he lifted his hips to meet hers. His hand pumped faster, a loud groan leaving him as he felt himself getting closer to his release. His eyes remained closed as he imagined Y/N moaning his name as she reached the peak of ecstasy, a string of expletives along with her name fell from his lips as he reached the edge. A strangled moan left him as his neck strained back, spurts of his seed coating the tiled wall before washing away in the spray of the shower.
He blinked rapidly as he opened his eyes, wiping away the droplets of water from his face as he was hit by a wave of guilt. He sighed heavily as he cleaned himself, turning off the shower and stepping out. He wrapped a dark blue towel around his waist, wiping the fog off the mirror as he stared at himself, leaning his hands on the sink.
No matter how much he wanted Y/N in his life, she had moved on. She was with someone else, and he had to accept that. Even if every fibre in his being was telling him not to, he knew that he had to fight the voices in his head telling him to go after her. She wasn’t free to be with him.
That was something he was going to have to live with from now on.
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Summary: After the night that saw his transformation into a vampire, resulting in the death of his wife, Dean spends his lifetime seeking revenge on the one that turned him. Reluctantly living outside the law because of what he is, he finds his niche as a bounty hunter, hired by families looking for someone, anyone to avenge the deaths of their loved ones. He doesn’t play by the rules, finding justice for the victims by any means necessary.
But as dead bodies rack up and catch the attention of a young, naive but by-the-book detective, she won’t stop until she finds out who’s responsible for them. Dean knows he has to convince her of his innocence, but can he do that while maintaining his secret? And when the alpha that sired him finds him first, can he keep Y/N safe?
Warnings:Angst, violence, blood, pinches of fluff.
I’m so excited for this series and the prologue and chapter 1 are already up on Patreon! As this is already a short series (8 chapters + epilogue) I’m going to only start posting to Tumblr once its completed on Patreon.
This idea’s been around for well over a year now and I’m so excited to share it with others! :)
