Summary:Selected chapters from Life’s Lessons told from Dean’s POV. Scenes that you didn’t get his perspective on, or scenes that you didn’t see… now you can. This part takes place after the events of chapters 5-8 of Life’s Lessons.
Warnings:Slight angst, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head, masturbation, sex dreams
A/N: This is also written for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Bingo, square filled: masturbation. I really hope you guys are enjoying seeing a few things from LL from Dean’s perspective, and maybe even a couple things you didn’t see! ;) As always, happy reading and enjoy! :) beta’d by my darling @downanddirtydean.
Dean shut the door, resting his back against the wood, a large exhale leaving him. He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable feeling to kick in. Sadness. Loneliness. Anger. Regret. He waited for at least one of them to wash over him, but they didn’t. In fact, the only thing he felt was relief.
It was his first time coming back from work to an empty house. Lisa had left a few days ago, both her and Ben driving off in their car. The last thing he saw was the car taking a left at the end of the street, and they were gone. He was of course going to miss the kid, he had really formed a good relationship with Ben, but ultimately it was the right thing for everyone involved that he and Lisa finally broke up and she headed back to Indiana.
As he walked down the hallway, he did feel one of those feelings creep in. Loneliness. For the first time in three years, he was alone. No one to come home to. No one to ask him about his day or greet him with a kiss on the cheek. It only lasted the first year and a half with Lisa, but it was still good while it lasted. He longed for all of that again. To feel wanted by someone. It had never bothered him in the past, to be alone, because he always had something or someone to occupy his time with. He didn’t want to go back to the way he used to be, though. It would be easy to slip back into his old routine, that was true, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want those things anymore; drinking himself blind or hooking up with women he didn’t know. He was done with that. He had had his fun.
What he wanted, more than anything and especially now that he was free to make that decision, was to be with Y/N. Just like most things in his life though, even that wasn’t going to work out because now she was with someone else. Mark something. Mark, who he had met twice now. Once when he was out with his dad and ran into Y/N and Mark, and then again at her birthday when they were having drinks. Mark, who had insulted him and had earned a punch to his irritatingly perfect teeth next time he saw him. He honestly didn’t know what she saw in him, considering they didn’t seem to have much in common or even have much to talk about. He saw her at the bar when they all had drinks together. She was talking with Charlie and Meg mostly, but even if she tried to make it look like she and Mark had something good, he could see the truth.
Dean sighed as he stopped in front of the kitchen sink. He felt something else start to sink in then. Regret. Regret that he hadn’t called it off with Lisa sooner. If he had, he’d be with Y/N now.
His phone vibrated in his pocket causing him to jump, his hand reaching into his pocket and taking it out. He exhaled deeply, seeing Sam’s name on the screen before he answered. Like an idiot, he forgot he was supposed to meet Sam for drinks and called a rain check. His little brother even offered to come over with pizza, beer, and watch Die Hard, something they did when one of them wasn’t in a good mood, but he told Sam he didn’t need to. He could tell Sammy was worried, and probably didn’t believe him when he reassured him that everything was okay as he put on a light tone to his voice, but there was nothing he could do about that.
Dean hung up and placed his phone on the counter, pushing his hands through his hair as he leaned his elbows against the surface. Maybe he should’ve said yes to meeting Sam so he didn’t have to face the eerie and somewhat depressing silence of his house, but he knew his brother would tell him things he wasn’t ready to hear yet. He lifted his head as he heard a car pull up across the street, his eyes immediately finding Y/N as he looked out the kitchen window. He saw her take out a grocery bag and carry it under one arm, her other holding her phone to her ear. He frowned as he watched her walk across the small path to her porch, throwing her head back as she laughed.
His heart began to beat faster against his ribcage as he felt the urge to go to her, to ask her whether she’d want to have dinner, and maybe finally open up to her about how he was feeling. Now that Lisa was gone, he could finally be honest with her. With the way she was smiling, however, he knew that she was talking to Mark. He stepped back from the counter, shaking his head at his own stupid thoughts. Maybe he was free for them to be together, but she wasn’t.
He made his way down the hallway and into his bedroom, stripping off his clothes before he stepped into the bathroom and left the door slightly ajar. He turned the shower on, making sure the water was warm before he stepped in, pulling the curtain closed. He pressed his hands against the tiled wall, leaning forward as the spray washed down his head and wet his hair, down his shoulders and back. He couldn’t take his mind off Y/N but considering they had spent part of her birthday together despite her insistence that they couldn’t be around each other, he wasn’t surprised by that fact. She had been constantly in his thoughts since they met, and then he kissed her on that fateful night, and everything was different between them.
Suddenly they weren’t just friends and neighbors. They were two people who couldn’t explore their feelings because of their situations. Their timing was never right, with him ending things with Lisa just as Y/N found Mark. None of it was playing it out the way he had hoped, the way he had dreamed on nights he fell asleep beside Lisa but was overwhelmed by thoughts of his beautiful neighbor.
His eyes shut tightly as he felt his cock twitch, his mind getting away from him as he pictured Y/N. He saw her on the night she came over for dinner, laughing and smiling at him, her hand fitting perfectly in his, her lips against his as they forgot about the reality of their situation for a moment and kissed. His hand drifted down, wrapping around his shaft and pumping slowly, his other still pressed into the wall to keep himself steady. He groaned softly as he remembered the feel of her skin against his palms, as his hands slid up her back under her sweater, right before she pushed him away. The scent of her perfume as he kissed along her neck and collarbone drove him insane, nipping at her flesh.
A low growl fell from his lips as memories turned into fantasies, to images of her beneath him, their bodies writhing against each other as he moved deep within her. His hand stroked over his cock a little quicker, his imagination running wild as he heard her moaning his name in the heat of passion, his hands in hers as they stared into each other’s eyes. Their lips fused together in a searing kiss, Dean rolling onto his back as he held her close.
He smiled softly as he pictured her above him, gazing down at him, his hands on her hips as her hips rocked against his. Their movement became frantic as she pressed her hands into his chest, his thrusts faster as he lifted his hips to meet hers. His hand pumped faster, a loud groan leaving him as he felt himself getting closer to his release. His eyes remained closed as he imagined Y/N moaning his name as she reached the peak of ecstasy, a string of expletives along with her name fell from his lips as he reached the edge. A strangled moan left him as his neck strained back, spurts of his seed coating the tiled wall before washing away in the spray of the shower.
He blinked rapidly as he opened his eyes, wiping away the droplets of water from his face as he was hit by a wave of guilt. He sighed heavily as he cleaned himself, turning off the shower and stepping out. He wrapped a dark blue towel around his waist, wiping the fog off the mirror as he stared at himself, leaning his hands on the sink.
No matter how much he wanted Y/N in his life, she had moved on. She was with someone else, and he had to accept that. Even if every fibre in his being was telling him not to, he knew that he had to fight the voices in his head telling him to go after her. She wasn’t free to be with him.
That was something he was going to have to live with from now on.
If you’re crossed out, I couldn’t tag you! Join mytaglist! :)
Warnings | Drinking, nothing else that I can think of, let me know if I’m wrong
Prompt | “This will be the last time you lie to me.”
Word count | 1.1k
A/N | I wrote a one-shot, and then went, OH, I like this idea, and my thoughts ran amok. So this is the first part in my first-ever series, Rumor Mill. This is setting up where I’m taking the story, so it’s not all that exciting by itself, but if you have feedback, please share…I’m excited about this one! By the way, credit for the name of the bar to whoever actually owns it. It exists in this town, and I fell in love with the name, and it only propelled my thoughts further.
Summary | Reader owns a family-run bar in Osborne, KS, which happens to be near Lebanon, and is known to hunters that pass through. Hearing about it, Sam and Dean eventually stop by after a tough hunt.
Looking for a new series to read? If so, look no further! Try this one!! Only two parts so far and @hellhound-whisperer already has me hooked! (Tbh I was hooked after party 1!!)
Series Summary: As an FBI profiler and special agent, you’re at the peak of your career. There are only two serial killers you’ve never been able to catch: the Winchesters. For twelve years, you’ve been hot on their heels, thinking they had murdered your partner, but what happens when you actually find the brothers?
Chapter Warnings:+18, language, angst, panic attack, banter, mutual pining, fluff if you squint, protective!Dean, supernatural-level violence (blood, death), mentions/hints of child abuse & domestic violence, another angsty cliffhanger
Word Count:5.4k
A/N:Strap in. It’s gonna be a long night…Hope you enjoy this one! Loved reading all your comments about the last few chapters. Can’t believe season 1 is almost over!
Hearing four shots in the distance, Dean knew you were in trouble in an instant. His feet started running without questioning it, finding you only mere seconds later between another row of shipping containers. He then took in the scene in front of him: on the cold concrete lay your ex-husband, now dead, and a wolf with several bullet wounds in its chest right next to him. Having seen this exact scene too many times before, he didn’t have to ask you to know what happened.
It was once again a great chapter !! I loved it !!
The way he rushed to her the second he heard gunshots, not caring about anything else than her. Oh my heart !
Your description of her in shock was so great, I could see her ! Her feelings and millions of questions and worries was so clear. But when she’ll allow herself to feel again and take time to accept the situation, it’s gonna hit her hard. She’s definitely gonna need Dean on this. Right ? Oh and Dean worrying about her is something I could read about all day.
My heart truly breaks at the thought of her daughter…
I liked the comparison between how the FBI act when coming in a house full of bad guys and how hunters do.
Should you have brought a tennis ball along? Would that work?
Wait. Did she just ?
I loved the scene where they fight against the werewolves and the negotiation part too ! You got me worried for a moment there !
Hehehe I love that Dean is a bit sad that he didn’t get to kill any werewolf. He’ll never see the end of it. He didn’t want her to come and yet she killed them all ahah
Okay. I don’t have the references of the nicknames they gave each other but I love it netherless just like in the real show so it’s a compliment
Oh my God ! Di Caprio and Hanks ! Of course!!! Catch Me If You Can ! You’re a genius !!!! I don’t understand how I didn’t immediately get that !
I honestly feel so bad for her… No matter if they were divorced, Patrick was still an important man in her life and the father of her daughter. Her worries about what to say to her and her reaction about all of this breaks my heart.. You put her in such a horrible situation Wayne !
I just LOVE how Dean tries to cheer her up, how he tries to face the situation with a smile, to help her. He’s such a sweetheart, my my..
Aaaaaaw he offered to stay with her !!
He was like a wizard whose superpower was consoling people.
I can imagine feeling this way with him. He wouldn’t even need words, hugging would be enough to feel his superpower.
He is always so careful around her when he wants to learn more about her. He just wants to know her and it makes me smile :)
Debating whether you should tell him about your kid or not, you pushed it away again.
My brain is sooooo weird because I totally forgot that he DOESN’T know ! I want him to know, I want him to meet her. Dean is soooo good with kid, it would be so so sweet if they meet each other, even more if they get along. A little duo to annoy Y/N
“Yup, prison. I know because I arrested him nine years ago. Still has ten more to go,” you smiled broadly at Dean with a mischievous glint in your eyes.
Wow, I wasn’t expecting that but wow, the more I learn about her, the more she impresses me !
Petrov’s men had found you, finally making good on his threat. The same threat you hadn’t taken seriously enough.
AAAAAAAAAAH NO NO NO !!! She had enough losses for the night ! AAAAH ! Oh the next chapter is going to intense ! Dean will help, Dean will meet her mom and daugther ! I can’t wait but I’m scared !
Title:Ride With Me (part 29) Fandom:Supernatural Timeline:2008 Pairing:Dean x Reader Word count: ±8450 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 29: After the accident with Cain, ranch life returns back to normal. Ellen and Bobby are going on a business trip, leaving Dean at the helm. The wrangler’s bond with the intern is slowly rekindling, leading up to a long-awaited and difficult conversation about what happened between them. Meanwhile, Congress is just around the corner, but fate might have different plans. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music:The Scientist by Boyce Avenue (conversation by the fence between Dean and Y/N). Follow ‘Ride With Me Playlist’ by Kate Huntington on Spotify! Author’s note: This chapter is packed with sibling banter, Dean getting sweaty and dirty while working on the tractor in just jeans and a white tank top (you’re welcome). Add plenty of emotion and an unexpected turn of events, and you have 8.5K of Cowboy goodness! Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr) and @winchest09 and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999 and @rebel4fandom, who has offered me her knowledge about reining and rodeo. The wonderful gif is by.
A couple of days have passed since the incident with Cain, and life is returning to normal. Dean is back at work, and despite that he hasn’t felt dizzy in days and the headache is mostly gone too, he’s taking things easy. That way there is less pressure on him, which makes Ellen happy, and it gives the ranch’s intern the opportunity to develop her riding. Thankfully, he has been able to sleep somewhat better, and he doesn’t feel so tired and worn anymore. The swelling on the side of his face has disappeared, the bruises fading as well. Y/N removed the butterfly stitches yesterday, the cut under his brow the only scar left to remind him of his kamikaze stunt.
Even Jo is doing chores again, despite only having one functioning arm for the coming month and a half. The stubborn cowgirl even climbed on her horse’s back yesterday, but Dean - being as protective as he is - instantly called her out and demanding her to get back on the ground. Of course, she threw his own words back at him, that she didn’t hurt her riding hand and will not need a pair of them to train a horse. The argument between the two who act so much like siblings soon turned childish when Dean yelled ‘I’m telling your mom!’. It does work when he pulls that card, though, because if there’s anything Jo doesn’t want, it is Ellen getting wind of her rebellious behavior. Her mother would ground her in an instant.
The ranch owner’s daughter decided to wait for the opportune moment instead, which is right around the corner. Her parents are heading upstate to meet with Donna and Jody, to talk about co-owning a couple of horses in order to help the Gold Canyon Ranch get through the economic crisis the country is currently suffering from.
The truck is packed already, Bobby turning the key in the ignition and switching on the air-conditioning before he gets out of the driver’s seat to address his daughter and adopted son.
“Hold the fort, you two,” he says before eying his nephew. “Dean, you’re in charge.” “Why does he get to be in charge?” Jo mutters, placing a hand on her hip. “Because I’m the oldest,” Dean answers before Bobby can, triumph in his voice. “And because he’s not the one with an arm in a sling,” her father adds, throwing his daughter a stern look. “So? He’s the one who hit his head. Doesn’t seem smart to let him do the thinking.” She shrugs, giving the man next to her a dirty look before she adds another jab. “With or without a concussion.” Dean glares at her through narrowed eye lids. “At least I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get on a h–”
He’s interrupted when Jo stomps his foot, causing the cowboy to swallow down the final word that would expose the blonde cowgirl. Her fiery gaze that says ‘don’t you dare’ waits for him when he’s about to snap at her, their intense stares battling out a wordless argument.
“At least I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get on a h–” I missed that banter
”His white undershirt is damp, the ranch hand’s broad shoulders on full display. He’s covered in black smears, and by ‘covered’ she means his strong arms and hands, even his face. The emerald green eyes she fell in love with the moment he first looked at her seem even brighter, now that they are surrounded by strokes of grime on his cheek and nose. Perspiration making his skin shimmer, beads of sweat gathering in the dip above his collarbone. Sand is sticking to his light brown hair, the particles peppering his chest as well. God, if they would have been together still, she wouldn’t think twice about jumping him. Considering they are not, she clears her throat and swallows with difficulty, hoping he’s not aware of her ogling.” This. Description. KATE!
“Jesus, I’m so lovestruck that I can’t even think straight.” GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY PLEASE
“After dinner, it’s finally time for some quality time with the intern’s favorite being on earth. After changing her sneakers for her boots, she heads to the stables, where the horse with the pretty white face and Bambi eyes is waiting for her. The mare neighs softly when she notices her owner, kicking her door with her front feet, impatiently telling Y/N to hurry up.” I love Dean/Y/N scenes but the ones with her and Meadow… I live for them!
“What happened between us?” Straight to the point, huh?
“Yankee… You did nothing wrong, you hear?” The nickname is back. I repeat. THE NICKNAME IS BACK!
“You stupid idiot, he thinks to himself, what have you done to her?” Yeah I’ve been wondering the same thing
“Hey…” he whispers, nudging her shoulder. “Know that I’m always gonna be there for you, if you want me to, at least. That will never change.”
“Gently, the mare pushes her soft nose against her human’s knee, her lip twitching to get her attention.” OH MY GOD I LOVE MEADOW
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Dean says softly, caressing the horse’s beautiful sculpted face. “I love her.”
WAIT WAIT NO THERE HAS TO BE MORE DAMMIT
Oh my, @fangirl-and-medstudent-help . You had me in stitches with your reaction! Thank you so much for the lengthy reblog
Title:Ride With Me (part 29) Fandom:Supernatural Timeline:2008 Pairing:Dean x Reader Word count: ±8450 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 29: After the accident with Cain, ranch life returns back to normal. Ellen and Bobby are going on a business trip, leaving Dean at the helm. The wrangler’s bond with the intern is slowly rekindling, leading up to a long-awaited and difficult conversation about what happened between them. Meanwhile, Congress is just around the corner, but fate might have different plans. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music:The Scientist by Boyce Avenue (conversation by the fence between Dean and Y/N). Follow ‘Ride With Me Playlist’ by Kate Huntington on Spotify! Author’s note: This chapter is packed with sibling banter, Dean getting sweaty and dirty while working on the tractor in just jeans and a white tank top (you’re welcome). Add plenty of emotion and an unexpected turn of events, and you have 8.5K of Cowboy goodness! Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr) and @winchest09 and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999 and @rebel4fandom, who has offered me her knowledge about reining and rodeo. The wonderful gif is by.
A couple of days have passed since the incident with Cain, and life is returning to normal. Dean is back at work, and despite that he hasn’t felt dizzy in days and the headache is mostly gone too, he’s taking things easy. That way there is less pressure on him, which makes Ellen happy, and it gives the ranch’s intern the opportunity to develop her riding. Thankfully, he has been able to sleep somewhat better, and he doesn’t feel so tired and worn anymore. The swelling on the side of his face has disappeared, the bruises fading as well. Y/N removed the butterfly stitches yesterday, the cut under his brow the only scar left to remind him of his kamikaze stunt.
Even Jo is doing chores again, despite only having one functioning arm for the coming month and a half. The stubborn cowgirl even climbed on her horse’s back yesterday, but Dean - being as protective as he is - instantly called her out and demanding her to get back on the ground. Of course, she threw his own words back at him, that she didn’t hurt her riding hand and will not need a pair of them to train a horse. The argument between the two who act so much like siblings soon turned childish when Dean yelled ‘I’m telling your mom!’. It does work when he pulls that card, though, because if there’s anything Jo doesn’t want, it is Ellen getting wind of her rebellious behavior. Her mother would ground her in an instant.
The ranch owner’s daughter decided to wait for the opportune moment instead, which is right around the corner. Her parents are heading upstate to meet with Donna and Jody, to talk about co-owning a couple of horses in order to help the Gold Canyon Ranch get through the economic crisis the country is currently suffering from.
The truck is packed already, Bobby turning the key in the ignition and switching on the air-conditioning before he gets out of the driver’s seat to address his daughter and adopted son.
“Hold the fort, you two,” he says before eying his nephew. “Dean, you’re in charge.” “Why does he get to be in charge?” Jo mutters, placing a hand on her hip. “Because I’m the oldest,” Dean answers before Bobby can, triumph in his voice. “And because he’s not the one with an arm in a sling,” her father adds, throwing his daughter a stern look. “So? He’s the one who hit his head. Doesn’t seem smart to let him do the thinking.” She shrugs, giving the man next to her a dirty look before she adds another jab. “With or without a concussion.” Dean glares at her through narrowed eye lids. “At least I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get on a h–”
He’s interrupted when Jo stomps his foot, causing the cowboy to swallow down the final word that would expose the blonde cowgirl. Her fiery gaze that says ‘don’t you dare’ waits for him when he’s about to snap at her, their intense stares battling out a wordless argument.
Title:Ride With Me (part 29) Fandom:Supernatural Timeline:2008 Pairing:Dean x Reader Word count: ±8450 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 29: After the accident with Cain, ranch life returns back to normal. Ellen and Bobby are going on a business trip, leaving Dean at the helm. The wrangler’s bond with the intern is slowly rekindling, leading up to a long-awaited and difficult conversation about what happened between them. Meanwhile, Congress is just around the corner, but fate might have different plans. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music:The Scientist by Boyce Avenue (conversation by the fence between Dean and Y/N). Follow ‘Ride With Me Playlist’ by Kate Huntington on Spotify! Author’s note: This chapter is packed with sibling banter, Dean getting sweaty and dirty while working on the tractor in just jeans and a white tank top (you’re welcome). Add plenty of emotion and an unexpected turn of events, and you have 8.5K of Cowboy goodness! Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr) and @winchest09 and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999 and @rebel4fandom, who has offered me her knowledge about reining and rodeo. The wonderful gif is by.
A couple of days have passed since the incident with Cain, and life is returning to normal. Dean is back at work, and despite that he hasn’t felt dizzy in days and the headache is mostly gone too, he’s taking things easy. That way there is less pressure on him, which makes Ellen happy, and it gives the ranch’s intern the opportunity to develop her riding. Thankfully, he has been able to sleep somewhat better, and he doesn’t feel so tired and worn anymore. The swelling on the side of his face has disappeared, the bruises fading as well. Y/N removed the butterfly stitches yesterday, the cut under his brow the only scar left to remind him of his kamikaze stunt.
Even Jo is doing chores again, despite only having one functioning arm for the coming month and a half. The stubborn cowgirl even climbed on her horse’s back yesterday, but Dean - being as protective as he is - instantly called her out and demanding her to get back on the ground. Of course, she threw his own words back at him, that she didn’t hurt her riding hand and will not need a pair of them to train a horse. The argument between the two who act so much like siblings soon turned childish when Dean yelled ‘I’m telling your mom!’. It does work when he pulls that card, though, because if there’s anything Jo doesn’t want, it is Ellen getting wind of her rebellious behavior. Her mother would ground her in an instant.
The ranch owner’s daughter decided to wait for the opportune moment instead, which is right around the corner. Her parents are heading upstate to meet with Donna and Jody, to talk about co-owning a couple of horses in order to help the Gold Canyon Ranch get through the economic crisis the country is currently suffering from.
The truck is packed already, Bobby turning the key in the ignition and switching on the air-conditioning before he gets out of the driver’s seat to address his daughter and adopted son.
“Hold the fort, you two,” he says before eying his nephew. “Dean, you’re in charge.” “Why does he get to be in charge?” Jo mutters, placing a hand on her hip. “Because I’m the oldest,” Dean answers before Bobby can, triumph in his voice. “And because he’s not the one with an arm in a sling,” her father adds, throwing his daughter a stern look. “So? He’s the one who hit his head. Doesn’t seem smart to let him do the thinking.” She shrugs, giving the man next to her a dirty look before she adds another jab. “With or without a concussion.” Dean glares at her through narrowed eye lids. “At least I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get on a h–”
He’s interrupted when Jo stomps his foot, causing the cowboy to swallow down the final word that would expose the blonde cowgirl. Her fiery gaze that says ‘don’t you dare’ waits for him when he’s about to snap at her, their intense stares battling out a wordless argument.
Title:Ride With Me (part 29) Fandom:Supernatural Timeline:2008 Pairing:Dean x Reader Word count: ±8450 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 29: After the accident with Cain, ranch life returns back to normal. Ellen and Bobby are going on a business trip, leaving Dean at the helm. The wrangler’s bond with the intern is slowly rekindling, leading up to a long-awaited and difficult conversation about what happened between them. Meanwhile, Congress is just around the corner, but fate might have different plans. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music:The Scientist by Boyce Avenue (conversation by the fence between Dean and Y/N). Follow ‘Ride With Me Playlist’ by Kate Huntington on Spotify! Author’s note: This chapter is packed with sibling banter, Dean getting sweaty and dirty while working on the tractor in just jeans and a white tank top (you’re welcome). Add plenty of emotion and an unexpected turn of events, and you have 8.5K of Cowboy goodness! Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr) and @winchest09 and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999 and @rebel4fandom, who has offered me her knowledge about reining and rodeo. The wonderful gif is by.
A couple of days have passed since the incident with Cain, and life is returning to normal. Dean is back at work, and despite that he hasn’t felt dizzy in days and the headache is mostly gone too, he’s taking things easy. That way there is less pressure on him, which makes Ellen happy, and it gives the ranch’s intern the opportunity to develop her riding. Thankfully, he has been able to sleep somewhat better, and he doesn’t feel so tired and worn anymore. The swelling on the side of his face has disappeared, the bruises fading as well. Y/N removed the butterfly stitches yesterday, the cut under his brow the only scar left to remind him of his kamikaze stunt.
Even Jo is doing chores again, despite only having one functioning arm for the coming month and a half. The stubborn cowgirl even climbed on her horse’s back yesterday, but Dean - being as protective as he is - instantly called her out and demanding her to get back on the ground. Of course, she threw his own words back at him, that she didn’t hurt her riding hand and will not need a pair of them to train a horse. The argument between the two who act so much like siblings soon turned childish when Dean yelled ‘I’m telling your mom!’. It does work when he pulls that card, though, because if there’s anything Jo doesn’t want, it is Ellen getting wind of her rebellious behavior. Her mother would ground her in an instant.
The ranch owner’s daughter decided to wait for the opportune moment instead, which is right around the corner. Her parents are heading upstate to meet with Donna and Jody, to talk about co-owning a couple of horses in order to help the Gold Canyon Ranch get through the economic crisis the country is currently suffering from.
The truck is packed already, Bobby turning the key in the ignition and switching on the air-conditioning before he gets out of the driver’s seat to address his daughter and adopted son.
“Hold the fort, you two,” he says before eying his nephew. “Dean, you’re in charge.” “Why does he get to be in charge?” Jo mutters, placing a hand on her hip. “Because I’m the oldest,” Dean answers before Bobby can, triumph in his voice. “And because he’s not the one with an arm in a sling,” her father adds, throwing his daughter a stern look. “So? He’s the one who hit his head. Doesn’t seem smart to let him do the thinking.” She shrugs, giving the man next to her a dirty look before she adds another jab. “With or without a concussion.” Dean glares at her through narrowed eye lids. “At least I wouldn’t be dumb enough to get on a h–”
He’s interrupted when Jo stomps his foot, causing the cowboy to swallow down the final word that would expose the blonde cowgirl. Her fiery gaze that says ‘don’t you dare’ waits for him when he’s about to snap at her, their intense stares battling out a wordless argument.
“Are you two idjits done?” Bobby cuts in, sternly glancing from one to the other. “Truth be told, I don’t give a rat’s ass who decides what, and I certainly don’t wanna know what you inept klutzes are not telling me, but I want this place exactly the way I’m about to leave it. So you are both gonna suck it up, work together, and make sure the ranch doesn’t burn down to the ground, am I clear?”
Dean focuses on his uncle again and gives him a nod, but Jo sighs, aggravated. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Joanna Beth. I’m serious; no unpleasant surprises when we get back,” the ranch owner warns while circling the car, pointing a stern finger at the two. “Understood,” his nephew states, confident and reassuring. The female wrangler nods, too. “Yes, Dad.”
The sound of a closing door draws their attention to the Singer home, where Ellen descends from the steps with a weekend bag in hand.
“There’s a pot roast in the fridge. The oven is already set, if you pop it in after lunch, it should be perfect by dinner time,” Ellen instructs as she drops her baggage behind the seat of the large four by four. “You be good, okay?” “We will,” Jo promises, lying through her teeth. First thing she’s going to do when her parents have turned down the driveway, is tack up her horse, Bullet.
After saying their goodbyes, the two who behave so much like brother and sister watch the Ford exit the parking lot. When Mr. & Mrs. Singer are out of sight, the pair returns to the barn, side by side. There’s plenty of work waiting for them after all.
“Tattletale,” Jo sneers at the man next to her, sticking out her tongue. “Oh, real mature.” Dean scoffs. “You’re just saying that because you can’t think of a comeback,” Jo counters, her eyebrow cocked victoriously. “So see ya later, asshead. I’ve got horses to ride.” “Jo! You are not–” he starts to scold her, but then blows out a vexed sigh as he watches his little cousin skip towards the stables. It’s no use, she’s not going to listen to him anyway.
Shaking his head, he follows her; she’s impossible. God help him to keep that girl out of trouble during the coming days. Now that he’s the leader of the pack, whatever happens on the premise, will be his responsibility. He’s praying for an easy weekend, but experience has taught him that once Bobby and Ellen are gone, problems are bound to arise.
The morning goes by without a hitch. Their regular veterinarian, Cas Novak, has paid a visit to check on Led Zeppelin’s recovery process, and thankfully the ultrasound showed that the stallion is doing well. The palomino will still need to be handwalked for another month, but after that time, Led can be ridden again.
Dean trains two horses under the saddle and two more on the ground in the round pen. The intern has gladly taken on the opportunity to train a few of his animals, which he left in her care when he was recovering, and the head wrangler doesn’t mind it one bit. Seeing the joy in her eyes whenever she’s on one of the talented Quarters is more than worth not being the one in the saddle himself. He helped her out with AC/DC, a young stallion who tends to act up every now and then, and taught the rider how to properly handle his juvenile behavior. She’s acing it, though, sitting out the occasional buck like she’s glued to the horse’s back. It fills him with awe and pride every time.
After lunch, Dean and Benny tend to the broken down tractor. The head wrangler has shed his plaid shirt, the white singlet he’s wearing already stained with gearbox fluid and grease. He’s on his back under the John Deere, unscrewing one of the bolts that is keeping the broken piece of machinery in place. The engine hood has been removed, his friend sitting on his haunches by the tractor as he disconnects the crankshaft and the flywheel from the side. The two mechanics are surrounded by bits and pieces, containers of oil, toolboxes and more.
“How’s it comin’ over there, Chief?” the Southerner asks, placing the removed parts on a cloth on the ground next to him, careful not to lose any essential components. “Gettin’ there,” he mutters through gritted teeth, using all his might to loosen the nut that doesn’t want to give, years of sand and rust making it difficult to unwind.
The gravel is sticking to the fabric of his shirt and his exposed skin, sweat causing the particles to cling to his shoulders and back. His muscles work and roll, veins laying thick on his forearms as he puts pressure on the wrench. Finally the nut gives and the gearbox is detached. The cowboy slides from under the John Deere skillfully, holding the heavy chunk of metal up with one hand.
“It’s loose. Can you help me out on this side?” he requests, whipping the moisture off his forehead with his free wrist. His friend from the south switches positions, helping Dean haul the heavy load away from the tractor. After struggling for a bit to remove the rusty screws that hold the heat shield in place, they begin stripping the transmission. The torque converter seems fine, and so does the oil pump, but when the two men get to the planetary gearset, the problem is soon revealed. The worn wheels obviously have seen better days.
“Well, shit. No wonder the pan was swimming with metal,” Benny comments, stretching his back while looking down on the carnage. “Yeah, we’re gonna need to replace that. We might be able to salvage the clutch packs, though.” The cowboy gets up, wiping his grimy hands with a cloth. “I’m gonna call the John Deere dealer in Phoenix, maybe they have one in stock. I’ll order a new oil pan too.”
Leaving the farrier to the job of checking the clutch, the head wrangler heads to the Singer’s home. He hopes that if he can arrange the parts before 3 PM, he will be able to head to town and pick them up so that the ranch will have a running tractor in the morning. Humming, he kicks off his boots and heads to Bobby’s office, a little surprised to hear country tunes coming from the room. His uncle must have forgotten to turn off the radio, but as he opens the door and sets foot inside, he’s surprised to find Y/N in the ranch owner’s spot.
“Hey,” she greets, looking up with a kind smile on her face.
Once again, the cowboy is taken aback by her appearance. She must have changed clothes after the midday break, because instead of the usual pair of jeans, cowboy boots and a long sleeved button up shirt, she’s dressed much more appropriate for the warm weather. The gorgeous woman is wearing shorts, her bare legs coming out from under the desk, crossed at her ankles with a set of Allstars on her feet. The crepe colored cuffed T-shirt is cut lower than what she usually wears when she’s at work and Dean kicks himself internally when his eyes drop to her cleavage for a split second. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice, her focus already back on the laptop in front of her.
“Hey. Sorry, I uh -” he stammers. “I didn’t know you were in here.” “Yeah, Bobby said it’d be okay if I look at the finances, now that he’s out of town,” she explains, pretending she didn’t feel his eyes on her, and somewhat apologetically gesturing at the piles of paperwork, opened folders and receipts surrounding her. “Hence the mess.” “Right, that’s - that’s great. I hope you can make sense of his handwriting,” he chuckles, moving closer to the desk while rubbing his neck nervously.
The intern glances over the screen, a huff passing her lips. She feels like she has been trying to decipher a military code for the past hour, so she gets what he’s saying. Thankfully, she’s beginning to get the hang of it, though. Despite that she would rather be working with horses, this is a field she’s familiar with. Numbers, balances, filing, thinking about business plans and coming up with marketing ideas; she used to do this nonstop. The handsome greasemonkey who just entered her calm and safe confinement, however, is bringing more distraction than she can handle.
His white undershirt is damp, the ranch hand’s broad shoulders on full display. He’s covered in black smears, and by ‘covered’ she means his strong arms and hands, even his face. The emerald green eyes she fell in love with the moment he first looked at her seem even brighter, now that they are surrounded by strokes of grime on his cheek and nose. Perspiration making his skin shimmer, beads of sweat gathering in the dip above his collarbone. Sand is sticking to his light brown hair, the particles peppering his chest as well. God, if they would have been together still, she wouldn’t think twice about jumping him. Considering they are not, she clears her throat and swallows with difficulty, hoping he’s not aware of her ogling.
“It’s a challenge,” she replies to his previous comment, but secretly the answer covers so much more ground. Trying to distract herself, she focuses on her work again. “I’ll bet,” he acknowledges, unable to take his eyes off of her.
She might be typing furiously on her keyboard, but the wrangler noticed her gaze, alright. Struggling to keep his head cool, he tries to think of something to say to break the sexual tension that is fogging up the office.
“Any bright ideas on how to get a bit more profit out of this joint?” he wonders, figuring that talking business might extinguish the sparks that are flying between them.
“Actually, yes. I have a few,” Y/N says, glad to be able to shift her mind to something else than Dean’s muscular body. “I’m just trying to get a basic overview of the liabilities and the assets, but I’ve already spotted a few things that need improving. I believe that right now, focusing on tourism might not be the best idea, since that target audience will be affected by the economic depression more than owners of expensive horses will. The rich rarely get poor when times are hard for the country, so that’s the segment the ranch should be aiming for.”
As she offers her insight, Bobby’s right hand takes her in. She clearly knows what she’s talking about, and once again he’s impressed with her intelligence. When she suggested giving the books a once-over, he was worried his stubborn uncle might not accept help from the intern, certainly not in that department, but she managed to talk him around. Not once did Dean doubt that she would deliver, though.
“I found the GCR website, but it looks like it was built in the nineties and hasn’t been updated in years,” she remarks without holding herself back, knowing that she can speak freely. “Who maintains it?” “That would have been Ash,” the wrangler admits, seeing how that could be a problem. “Right…” Y/N ponders. “Do you know if Bobby ever had a marketing plan made?” “A what now?” the cowboy says, puzzled. “You mean, advertising?” She tilts her head to the side, half nodding, but not entirely settling on his answer. “A marketing plan is a bit more advanced than that, but yeah, ads are part of it.”
Dean thinks for a second, pulling at his lip with his front teeth. “The ranch was listed in that magazine JQurnal a couple times, but that was years ago. It’s just too expensive. Bobby always says we should let the ridin’ do the talkin’ at the shows.” “He’s right, but if people have trouble finding the ranch online and aren’t familiar with the brand, a good run isn’t going to be enough,” Y/N brings to mind. “For instance: I couldn’t even find you on Google. I only found a few show results with your name at the top.”
The cowboy does a double-take, crossing his arms in front of his chest, a grin plastered on his face. “You googled me?” “Oh, don’t flatter yourself.” She shoots him down, trying to hide a playful smile. “My point is; this ranch needs a good website that tells the potential customer about its vision, the offered services and good references. We also need to create an account on Facebook and make sure it’s interactive, post nice photos on there to attract people. It’s free air-time, basically. Social media is going to be the way to put a company out there.”
“I’ll message Ash. I’m sure he still has the account information,” Dean assures. “Great!” Y/N says, content, glad that they are getting somewhere. “I’ll ask my brother to look at the design and programming. He’s in IT, so he can help us out. Meanwhile, I’ll see if I can organize all this, list the overhead and operating expenses and prioritize what Bobby needs to take care of first. Oh! And I can start on the marketing strategy, maybe write texts for the web page–”
“Y/N?” The intern behind the desk looks up, met by the head wrangler’s warm eyes which are filled with appreciation. It stops her waterfall of words instantly. “What?” she returns softly. He holds her gaze, a smile tucking at the corner of his mouth. “Thank you for doing this,” he says, sincere. “No worries,” she returns, somewhat shy. “Glad to help.”
A comfortable silence falls over them as the head wrangler watches her leave through a stack of invoices, before he steps back to the door. Y/N stops him, however. “Dean?” The cowboy turns around. “M-hm?” “What did you come here for in the first place?” she wonders. “Do you need anything?”
For a second, he’s not sure how to answer that, confused by the question, but then the lightbulb in his head switches on. Jesus, I’m so lovestruck that I can’t even think straight. “Oh! Right. I need the number of the John Deere dealer in Phoenix. We figured out what’s wrong with the tractor,” he explains. “Bobby probably has the number scribbled somewhere on a post-it or somethin’.”
Her eyes roam over the mess of yellow notes, detecting the one she’s looking for and pulling it off the small memo board next to the desk. “Here you go.” Dean takes the piece of paper from her, waving it in the air as he moves towards the doorway. “Thanks.”
As the cowboy pulls the door shut, he holds on to the handle for a second, blowing out a breath. The current that was coursing through him and had his muscles stiffen, begins to ooze away. He really needs to get his act together, because no matter how badly he wants to be with Y/N, he simply can’t have her. But now that they are hanging out as friends again and don’t avoid each other anymore, denying the obvious pull is going to be anything but easy.
He draws his phone out of his back pocket, holding the note next to it as he types the digits into the device while walking to the front porch. Maybe if he stays busy, he can keep his mind off the woman he’s in love with.
The pot roast Ellen made before leaving is absolutely delicious, filling the stomachs of the hungry crew beyond capacity. Benny leans back in his chair, the brawny farrier rubbing his hands over his round belly. One would expect the lack of table manners from him and from Dean, but it’s Garth who lets out a burp, having the others in stitches.
Y/N shakes her head disapprovingly, glaring at Jo over her glass of water when the petite woman manages to outdo the stable boy, triggering more laughter. The whole lot are a bunch of savages, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
After dinner, it’s finally time for some quality time with the intern’s favorite being on earth. After changing her sneakers for her boots, she heads to the stables, where the horse with the pretty white face and Bambi eyes is waiting for her. The mare neighs softly when she notices her owner, kicking her door with her front feet, impatiently telling Y/N to hurry up.
“Alright, alright.” she chuckles, taking Meadow’s halter from the hook before she unlocks the stable. “What do you want first? Playtime in the paddock or a grooming session?”
The Quarter stretches her neck and tilts her head, begging for a good scratch. With a wide grin on her face, Y/N rubs the horse’s withers, watching how the Meadow wiggles her upper lip in delight, clearly enjoying the backrub. Chuckling, the cowgirl rustles her black mane. “Grooming it is then.”
Meadow seems to disapprove when her human stops the massage and pulls the pole piece over the horse’s ears. The animal ushers Y/N to continue, invading her private space, and even though she should correct the mare for such behavior, she laughs at the persistence. Meadow wishes to be treated as the princess that she is and knows very well she can get away with it.
In a way, it’s what makes their bond so much stronger. The mare isn’t suppressed by a strict regime or compelled to show obedience. Some trainers will claim that if a thousand pound animal doesn’t want to do something, it won’t. Y/N doesn’t agree. She has seen plenty of horses on shows in the warm-up area who obeyed, not because they were asked a question, but because they were ordered, knowing very well what the consequence would be if they didn’t listen. Those animals don’t respect their riders. They fear them.
Y/N has always allowed her horse’s true character to shine, rarely having to stand her ground, because somehow, the smart animal knows exactly when there’s room for a little fun and when there isn’t. Like that evening in Flagstaff, when Meadow was the only thing that kept Y/N on her feet after Dean broke her heart. Time after time, it amazes her how good these creatures are in picking up on emotion and energy. They are so sensitive, so willing, so kind. Why would anyone want to force respect, when you can so easily earn it?
Meadow follows her owner though the stable alley to the tack up area, her shoes clicking on the pavement. The horse girl sets the grooming bag down on the ground and chooses the mare’s favorite brush that will help her loosen her summer coat. She’s beginning to shed, and Y/N makes a mental note to put on a thicker rug tonight before her coat gets too long. Little hairs and dust particles dance in the evening sunlight, floating towards the ground like leaves in autumn. Once again, Meadow’s enjoyment spreads a smile to the young woman’s lips. It’s therapy for both of them.
After the extensive grooming session, Y/N straps a pair of bell boots over her horse’s hooves, which will make sure she doesn’t lose an iron shoe while running around in the paddock. The equestrian leads the enthusiastically dribbling Quarter. After turning her around and closing the fence, Y/N unclasps the leash, causing the feisty mare to turn on her hind legs and sprint away, bucking happily as she circles around. She then drops her head to the ground, sniffing the sand while looking for a good spot to take a sand bath. With a satisfied groan, Meadow drops to her knees and softly lands on her side, rolling in the dirt and enjoying every second of it. Her owner chuckles; so much for brushing her clean.
The dusty horse gets up and shakes out the sand like a dog would after having a swim and groans, satisfied. She then continues to explore the paddock, swishing her tail and looking around curiously.
Y/N climbs the bars of the steel fence, taking a seat on the top one. Now that she has a higher perspective, her gaze roams over the fields. Cain is still in his pasture, which is the furthest away. He has taken notice of Meadow, but doesn’t seem interested, which is quite odd, since he’s a stallion. The poor horse has barely moved from his spot since he arrived earlier this week, but thankfully started eating and drinking two days ago. For now, Dean is letting him be, giving the traumatized animal the time to adjust to his new surroundings. He can’t start any kind of training without the horse being comfortable in his environment anyway.
“Hey.” Breaking away from her wandering thoughts, Y/N looks over her shoulder as the man who she was just thinking about approaches the fence. He has freshened up and replaced his strained shirt for a clean grey Henley, the sleeves of the clothing piece rolled up.
“Hey,” she greets back, swaying her legs a little and looking down at her boots. “Beautiful sight, ain’t it?” he comments while laying his arms over the top rail, elbows out with his chin resting on the back of his hands. Clearly enjoying the view, he looks out over the property.
She lifts her head again and straightens herself, squinting against the sinking sun. The desert land is set alight by golden rays coming from the west, the hills in the backdrop transitioning into mountains on the horizon. Little bugs twirl above the surface, the absence of the wind allowing them to dance in the air freely as they are illuminated by the warm light. The working horses are grazing up ahead between the cacti, peaceful, and adding to the serenic scene. “It is,” Y/N agrees, smiling in contentment.
For a moment, she allows her eyes to fall on the cowboy by her side. He can’t see her, his hat shielding her subtle glance, which gives her the opportunity to linger in a daydream of what could have been. The scent that she remembers from the times he held her close floods her senses, a mixture of leather, his usual shower gel, and a subtle musk that is so unmistakably his. The things that she would give to still call him her man, to be able to kiss him and find comfort in his loving arms.
Somewhere along the line, life took a turn she never saw coming. Maybe it was the speed at which they traveled the treacherous road that caused them to go over the edge and tumble down the slopes. Maybe it was the altitude they reached that made the fall so long and painful. Whatever the reason, she will never know, not as long as he won’t talk to her. Y/N isn’t exactly sure if she is looking for hope or closure, but the question that has been ringing in her ears since they broke up suddenly comes crashing through the surface.
“What happened between us?”
The four words that are pronounced with deject catch Dean off guard, and he gazes aside, mystified. The way they have been around each other over the past few days and how she seemed so much more comfortable in her skin had him think all was said and done. But that dreadful conversation he hoped he never had to have has just been kicked off with her seemingly simple question. It’s one only he can answer, and he owes her that much.
Y/N half expects her ex boyfriend to turn around and walk away, since he preferably avoids a heart-to-heart like the one she just initiated. Instead, he lets out a sigh, not one of annoyance, but to ready himself for what’s to come. After contemplating for a moment longer, Dean places his foot on the bottom rail, hoists himself on the fence and takes a seat next to her. He’s cooperating, which has to count for something, and yet he doesn’t seem to know what to say, causing the girl by his side to fill the dreadful silence.
“I just… I can’t wrap my head around how we went from being absolutely fine in the afternoon and then having that huge fight hours later,” she expresses hesitatingly. “I know I was acting like a jealous control freak, and - and I got so confused by the way you labeled me when your father was there. I never meant to give you the feeling that I don’t trust–” “Whoa, wait,” Dean interrupts, staring at her in shock. “You think this is on you?”
Placing her hands on each side of her and gripping the cold bar, she shrugs. “I mean, mostly, yeah. I realize I said and did a few things that caused you to blow up on me like that and had you running for the hills.”
Dean’s gaze unfocuses, then he tilts his head back and closes his eyes before he tucks his chin down again. Regret has his heart in a tight grip while guilt settles in his stomach like a heavy chunk of concrete.
He should have known how her mind works, how her insecurities would instantly take the angry words he shouted at her and twist them into a scenario where she is the villain. A scenario in which she’s not good enough, not pretty enough, has too many vices and is too complicated. A scenario in which he lost interest because of those very reasons. None of it is true.
The cowboy wanted her to be angry at him after that night, figuring it would be easier for her, but now that he has found out that she has been blaming herself for their split all along, he almost buckles under the weight of his remorse. She deserves to know his intentions, no matter how difficult it is to open that bear cage in which he has locked away his feelings. And so he looks at her, hoping that he can offer her some consolation.
“Yankee… You did nothing wrong, you hear?” he presses, his sincere, shamrock green eyes adding to his message. “If anything, you’ve been absolutely perfect.”
It’s the first time Dean calls Y/N by her nickname again, an alias that he reserved soon after the intern arrived at the ranch. It became a sobriquet only he used, one he always said with such endearment. Today it’s no different, and the fondness adds so much sentiment to his message, that it begins to overwhelm the woman it’s meant for. She holds his gaze, however, tears brimming on her lashes.
“Then why don’t you want to be with me?” she asks, her voice fragile.
The fist of contrition that has enveloped Dean’s heart squeezes closed, barely allowing it to beat. You stupid idiot, he thinks to himself, what have you done to her? He gave in to his feelings, deep down knowing their relationship was going to end in destruction, and he still let it sail its course. He should have never allowed Y/N to get so close and yet he did, because he never took into consideration that a woman would want to stick around. Just like he never considered it a possibility that he would fall in love himself, yet here they are.
God, he wants to tell her the truth, but at this point the cowboy isn’t sure if it will make matters better or worse. He averts his eyes for a second, biting the inside of his cheek, before returning his gaze and meeting the one of the girl he would move mountains for. He has to be brave now, he owes her that much. So he takes a deep breath while he searches for words, eventually choosing the ones that come from deep within his soul.
“I do. I do wanna be with you. Breakin’ it off, it was never because I didn’t care enough. On the contrary, I care about you, so much,” he admits, a sad smile spreading across his lips. “That’s why I can’t be selfish here.”
Stunned, Y/N’s shimmering eyes enlarge. She never expected a revelation as such, convinced that Dean felt like they weren’t a good match. He was so frustrated, so angry. His bitterness that evening at the showgrounds truly convinced the cowgirl that he didn’t want to be with her, but now he claims that does? “What - what are you talking about?” she stammers in confusion.
Dean hooks the heels of his boots on one the rail below, shifting slightly and placing his hand around the top bar, only an inch away from hers.
“You deserve the world. That and so much more,” he states. “You deserve a life that’s stable, without complications, without worry and uncertainty. To be with someone who treats you well and can provide for you–” “This isn’t the 1950’s, Dean. I can handle myself,” she interrupts. The wrangler chuckles softly, appreciating her feist in the midst of the tragedy. “I know. But sharing your life with someone who can’t be upfront and holds back secrets; it’s not what I want for you.”
Y/N ponders, her eyes fixed on her horse in the field. She has heard this song before, but she didn’t realize its meaning, simply because it was sung in a different language. When Dean spewed out all that fury during the argument, all she took from the string of vexed words was that he was convinced she couldn’t deal with him on his bad days. Yet all this time, all he has been thinking about is saving her from himself. Can’t he see how much he has to offer?
“What about someone who makes me happy, makes me laugh, makes me feel appreciated?” the cowgirl brings to mind, studying the man next to her on the fence. Dean sighs dejectedly. “Well, if you’ve been thinking that this was all your fault, I clearly failed you in more ways than one.”
She’s studying him, he can feel her eyes burning like the sun on a blistering hot summer day. He tips his hat downward and stares at the chunks of dirt below, wishing he could time-travel and do her justice by keeping a safe distance. He can’t, though. He can’t make this right. It was never right to begin with.
Y/N exhales while the handsome man mulls over his mistakes. Her fingers, which are wrapped around the cold steel, itch to move over her ex boyfriend’s hand, but she doesn’t give in to the temptation. He’s hurting enough as it is. They both are.
“Dean, whatever is holding you back, it will never change how much I…” she pauses, the word ‘love’ on the tip of her tongue, but she decides not to drop that bomb, “how much I care about you.”
The persistent fire of hope inside of her might have decreased to a small flickering flame that barely stays lit in this storm, but it hasn’t died yet. Maybe one day she will be able to tell him. Maybe one day he will be able to accept it, and who knows, even say it back. The cowboy restores eye contact, having picked up on the short cease. I’m seeing things, right? Was she really about to say that she…?
Chasing the thought from his mind, he focuses on the mountaintops ahead, the last light catching the volcanic formation. “You don’t know that. And I… I can’t bring myself to open up about what happened. I just can’t,” he returns, his voice breaking on the last word. “That has nothing to do with you, I swear. No one knows, no one but my father.” “What, not even Ellen and Bobby?” Y/N asks, perplexed. Shaking his head, the wrangler pulls at his bottom lip while wondering if he has already said too much.
Empathy begins to build, the urge to offer him any kind of alleviation growing. “Dean, you can’t keep this in.” “I have to. My family, my friends, you… No one will look at me the same if they know what kind of person I really am. The things I did…” He sighs. Admitting how the shame he can’t quite explain is incredibly difficult on him. “I’m a monster.”
“You are not a monster.” She reaches for him, breaking the constraints that held her back. Her delicate hand cups his face, his stubble brushing against the pad of her thumb as she gently strokes it over his cheekbone. “I don’t believe that, and neither do I believe that the people who hold you dear will dispose of you when the secret does come out.”
Dean breathes out a shuddering breath and leans into her touch. He doesn’t want to discourage her, but he’s convinced that when push comes to shove, the outcome will be different. Nevertheless, he cannot force himself to move away right now. The connection affects him beyond what he’s capable of handling and he squeezes his eyes shut, struggling to collect himself.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice soft and cracked. He glances aside at her again, remorse evident on his features. “I’m sorry that I hurt you the way I did, that I made you feel like you aren’t enough, because you are,” the cowboy assures, genuine. “But it’s better this way.”
The emotion that the conversation reveals is contagious, evidence of it threatening to overflow and come down her cheeks. “For whom exactly? Because it isn’t for me.” “In the long run, it will be,” Dean guarantees.
Y/N reluctantly allows her hand to slip away from him and straightens herself, resting her elbows on her knees and clasping her hands over each other as if she’s praying for a different outcome. “I can’t change your mind, can I?”
She won’t be able to, both know that by now. Severe self-esteem issues and crippling trauma disable the blind and broken man from having a clear view of the road to happiness. All he cares about is her journey, and he will be nothing but a burden if he hitches a ride. “How can I change my mind about wanting what’s best for you?” he returns.
There is something very final about his reply, and after a few seconds, Y/N admits her defeat. As she tries to not get lost in the intensity of the heartbreak, she takes in Meadow, who watches her owner from a few yards away. Tears begin to roll down her face nonetheless as she squeezes her lips together in a tight line.
Dean swallows hard at the sight of the girl next to him. The evident pain she’s suffering from almost makes him cave, but he keeps thinking about the bigger picture and how he doesn’t fit into it.
“Hey…” he whispers, nudging her shoulder. “Know that I’m always gonna be there for you, if you want me to, at least. That will never change.” “Really?” she says, the idea of his support offering some solace. “Promise,” he pleads.
A soft smile pulls the corners of her mouth upward as she holds his gaze, the truthfulness of his oath sinking in. At least they still have this. A strong friendship, an unbreakable bond, one that survived the toughest breakup she has ever lived through. Appreciating that treasure, she sniffles, wiping her cheeks dry before she lays her head on his shoulder.
There isn’t a hint of hesitation when he lets go of the bar, wraps his arm around her waist and rests his chin on top of her hair. Counting his blessings, Dean shuts his eyes; he hasn’t lost her completely. They sigh simultaneously, the heaviness of the much needed talk leaving the pair.
The moment is interrupted when Y/N senses someone approaching, hoofbeats falling on the sandy soil. A curious horse halts in front of them, only a few feet away, observing her owner with wonder. Meadow seems somewhat confused, worried even, picking up on the distress. Gently, the mare pushes her soft nose against her human’s knee, her lip twitching to get her attention.
Y/N huffs a laugh, stroking the Quarter’s neck sweetly. How does she always seem to know how to cheer her up, just by taking notice and seeking her out? Meadow has the ability to offer comfort and show empathy, a trait of these gentle giants that she admires greatly. Whoever claims horses can’t talk, refuses to listen.
The head wrangler smiles warmly at the connection between animal and human, glad that the kind creature is able to spark joy within the girl next to him. Two souls entwined, speaking a language of their own, an endearment for one and other that will last a lifetime. Her presence doesn’t just heal Y/N, in a way it eases the cowboy as well. The pair has something very special, and he’s thankful they do.
“Are you still coming with us to Congress?” the cowgirl wonders, scratching behind Meadow’s ear, one of her favorite places. Raising his eyebrows at that question, Dean takes her in. He didn’t consider that her offer still stands. He retreats his hand that was resting on her hip and steadies himself on the rail. Not to put distance between them, but because he uses the other to ruffle Meadow’s mane, who has now taken an interest in him.
“Are you sure? I mean, if that’s what you want,” he returns, stumbling a little. “It’s the biggest competition we’ve ever ridden; of course I want my trainer there,” Y/N states matter-of-factly. Humbled, Dean huffs, amazed by the woman’s resilience and capability to forgive. No wonder she’s so good at everything she does, because no matter the hurdle, she always bounces back. “Well, in that case, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he agrees.
The cowgirl beams at him, sentiment still apparent in her glossy eyes and slightly contradicting her facial expression. The story of her and Dean has become a bittersweet memoir, but they haven’t reached the final chapter yet. There is more to be written, and it might not be the romantic novel she hoped it would be, but it’s still a tale worth telling. She wants Dean there to cheer her on when she enters that enormous arena. She wants him there to catch her when she has finished her test. In her heart, she knows that he will keep his promise; he will always be there for her. And who knows? Maybe there will be an unexpected twist at the end of this book.
“You’re gonna pick up training tomorrow?” the horseman assumes. Y/N nods. “Yeah. I gave her a few days off to recover from Flagstaff. I didn’t want to overwork her right before the big show.”
It’s a smart approach to a big event, one that takes confidence and Dean approves of. A lot of riders would have trained hard every day up to that pinnacle moment, with the risk of tiring their horse and reaching that peak too soon. Meadow doesn’t have to learn anything new, though. Her run at the horse fair was spectacular. All that’s left to be done is light training to build her up and get Meadow to Columbus fit and fresh, so that the little mare can ace another solid performance.
“6.30 AM, then?” Dean checks. “Alright, 6.30.” The agile cowgirl swings her legs over the top rail, facing the other way before she hops down. “I’m gonna clean my tack and start packing,” she announces, making her way to the barn. Dean chuckles, twisting his body to watch her go. “Already? We’re leaving in five days.” “Exactly!” Y/N returns, as if he has just proved her point.
She disappears into the stables, leaving the wrangler shaking his head, grinning. She’s such an lively light. Nothing can stop her, not even his bad-decision-making. Her request for him to travel to Ohio with her took Dean by surprise, but he’s glad that they are at that stage. The professional partnership they have works incredibly well, Y/N and Meadow’s results in Flagstaff speaking volumes. Maybe if his contribution to the equestrian’s success helps kick off a promising career, he will be able to come to terms with the many times he fell short.
Meadow still stands before him, apparently enjoying the cowboy’s company. Y/N has mentioned before that the strong-willed mare isn’t a fan of men, but somehow she doesn’t mind it when Dean runs his hand down her neck, her coat feeling like satin under his touch.
“I figured you’d be pissed as hell at me,” the horseman begins to talk, “for hurting her so much.” But the Quarter seems anything but annoyed with the wrangler, twitching her lip against his jeans, hoping he has a treat stored in one of his pockets. It makes Dean chuckle.
“I just want her to be happy, y’know? For her to fulfill her dreams. I know you do, too.” He runs his fingers through the horse’s dark mane. She perks her ears forward at the man on the fence, listening to his voice. He’s aware she can’t fully understand what he’s saying, but she does sense that he has a broken heart. Affectionate, Meadow softly presses her nose against his cheek, blowing warm air against his rough skin. It always amazes him how careful and gentle these large animals can be, and appreciates the kind gesture.
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Dean says softly, caressing the horse’s beautiful sculpted face. “I love her.”
It’s painful to say it out loud, and yet he smiles. There’s something liberating about letting the three word sentence that holds so much meaning fall off his tongue. Meadow will not be able to pass it on, so the revelation is safe with her. Dean sets his jaw, fighting the sentiment that ambushes him unexpectedly, before he continues. “But sometimes when you love someone, you gotta let them go.”
The bay horse purrs, blowing out a breath while her dark brown eyes take the cowboy in. She then lays her heavy head against his chest, an act of kindness usually preserved for her human, comforting the man who has earned her trust with one glance into his soul.
They stay like that for a moment in time, and eventually when there’s nothing left to be done, Meadow strolls away, letting the horseman be. Dean folds his hands together, resting his forearms on his knees, needing a minute before he joins Y/N in the tackroom. Throughout the tough conversation he stood strong, able to keep the tears at bay surprisingly well. Now, though, he wipes his eyes.
He’s not sure when this happened, when ‘liking’ her became something more. Maybe it was when he first kissed her by the fire, maybe when they laid together under the stars or when she fell into his arms after winning her freestyle debut. It doesn’t really matter how he got here, because it’s crystal clear to him that he loves her. He has let her go, and that’s how he knows.
A soft thud behind him breaks Dean away from his epiphany. He turns around, finding a fluttering bundle of red laying beneath one of the barn windows. It’s a Northern Cardinal who has mistaken the glass for an open passage, the bird rustling its fiery red feathers as the tiny animal gets back on its feet, needing a moment to recover from impact. Dean has seen them here before, but they are quite rare this far south. When it remains on its spot, the wrangler lowers himself from the fence to see if the poor fellow needs help, but when he’s within a few feet of the bird, it flies away.
Both intrigued and concerned, he keeps track of the feathered creature, which isn’t difficult thanks to its bright color. Dean isn’t necessarily superstitious, but his aunt used to tell him that this species of birds are messengers from God. Cardinals appear when an angel is near, he remembers her saying. When one flies into a window, however, it’s believed to be a bad omen.
The bird floats over the pasture while chirping, landing on a fence-pole. Meadow notices it, approaching cautiously until the cardinal flees, spooking the Quarter. The bay horse makes a funny sound similar to a squeal, showing off her neck as she bucks like a young foal. Dean smiles at the sight of the fresh mare, who clearly took the opportunity of the small animal’s sudden movements to overreact and make a scene. She doesn’t seize her sprint, though. When she continues to run in circles, Dean decides to turn her in. It’s clear that the characteristic horse wishes to be escorted to her stable.
When he can’t find the leadrope, he enters the barn, remembering Y/N took it with her to the tackroom. Met by the smell of leather and oil when he enters the storage space, he finds the cowgirl on a stool, rubbing her saddle clean with a cloth.
“Meadow’s getting restless. Want me to bring her in?” he offers. She lifts her attention from her task for a second. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
The wrangler takes the rope off the hook by the door and moves out of sight again, leaving Y/N to work in a blissful silence. Plenty of horse people detest this chore, neglect it even, but taking care of her tack has always soothed her. The step by step routine is something she can focus on when her head is too restless with processing information. Today is no different, although the meaningful and much-needed conversation with Dean already offers the relief she was hoping to find. She feels lighter, despite the difficult and draining exchange they just had. It’s out of the way now, the last remaining remnants of incomprehension cleared up. The fog has lifted, now she can focus on what’s ahead.
There have been times during the past week that the All American Quarter Horse Congress was the last thing on her mind. She stared at the booking website on her laptop screen for hours, her information already typed in, ready to book a flight home and leave it all behind. Thank God, she didn’t. It would have been a waste of a once in a lifetime opportunity, one that she is going to take with both hands. Y/N can’t wait to dance with Meadow again, the grand stadium their stage, the music their melody. It’s going to be an unforgettable r–
Her contentment is suddenly disrupted by a distant scream. The cowgirl perks up, her sense of hearing heightened. It sounded like the way a stallion roars, the high-pitched neighs Cain made in the trailer when he tried to fight his way out are forever edged on her eardrums.
Uneasy, she gets up from the seat, picking up on the running footfalls in the gravel, every rushed step sounding further away. The commotion has her haste towards the doorway while a bad feeling takes hold of her. Before she can step into the alley, Dean’s bone-chilling voice reverberates under the high roof, calling out her name at the top of his lungs.
“Y/N!!!”
Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).
Title:Ride With Me (part 28) Fandom:Supernatural Timeline:2008 Pairing:Dean x Reader Word count: ±8670 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 28: The aftermath of the altercation with Cain is catching up on Dean, but the injured wrangler refuses to take a beat. Thankfully, his has his family to lean on, even if he isn’t entirely ready to listen to them yet. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music:Desperado by the Eagles (opening scene).Follow ‘Ride With Me Playlist’ by Kate Huntington on Spotify! Author’s note: Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr) and @winchest09 and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999 and @rebel4fandom, who has offered me her knowledge about reining and rodeo. The wonderful gif is by @frozen-delight.
Dean isn’t sure what’s worse; the night terrors he just woke up from, or the splitting headache that welcomed him that followed after. He remains on his left side for a few more minutes, waiting for his heart rate to lower again while his warm bed offers him only little comfort. For a moment he sighs and closes his eyes while burying his head deeper into the pillow, wishing he could just skip today, but that’s not how life works. Even though he hasn’t moved yet, he has a hunch that it’s going to be either painful or difficult. Probably both.
When the wrangler sits up and throws the damp sheets from his upper body, his assumption is undeniably confirmed. What he didn’t expect is the lightheadedness that comes with it when he rises from the mattress. Discontent, he groans, rubbing at the unharmed side of his face. It takes a few seconds before his brain catches up, but then the black spots that obscure his vision dissolve and he gets to his feet.
His body protests, but Dean shuffles towards his bathroom either way, his hand on the doorpost and then on the sink for balance, just to be safe. He flicks on the tube light above the mirror, the harsh brightness making him wince as the throbbing in his head intensifies. He’s had hangovers that were more enjoyable.
When his pupils have adjusted somewhat, he blinks and opens his eyes, only half succeeding, since the right one has swollen overnight. Taking in his own reflection, Dean breathes a huff at the man staring back. “Jo wasn’t lyin’,” he mumbles to himself, remembering how last night she told him he looked like ten miles of bad road.
“Dean isn’t sure what’s worse; the night terrors he just woke up from, or the splitting headache that welcomed him that followed after” My poor baby
“She’s too good for this world, that’s one thing he knows.”
“What did I just say?” You go Ellen!
“Well, I really thought that he would never raise his ugly head again, yet here we are.”
“For what it’s worth, honey… I’m sorry for how it ended.”
“If I don’t, you’ll sneak off to the horses just like you did when you were a kid. I learned that lesson a long time ago.” Oh I love that she’s walking him to his bed
“she allows her fingers to brush over Meadow’s velvet nose after which she enters the cafeteria next door.”
“Certainly not me,” Bennyyyyyyyyy
“Amazing! I had such a blast riding all of them,” she beams, turning to him and excited to share her experiences. “I mean, it was a lot of work and I’m sure I won’t be able to get out of bed in the morning because of the muscle ache, but I learned so much. I can’t believe how sensitive they are to even the smallest cue, they are all so well-trained. You’ve got to teach me how you do that. Santana especially was a dream!” My girl is so excited it’s so adorable
THE VERY LAST BIT KATEEEEEEEEEEE
My god, reblogs like this just give me so much joy
Summary: Dean struggles with losing the one person who ever understood him, that was until he met a stranger who might just understand him better than he ever understood himself
Daddy!Dean X Reader
Warnings: Minor Character Death, jerk dean for a little bit, more to come
Summary: Stuck in motion for too long, Y/N tries to finally live for herself. That’s until she meets a man with crinkles around his eyes and a heart ready to do anything for her to love him.
Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x reader
Characters: Charlie Bradbury, Benny Lafitte, OMC, More as series progresses
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Drinking, Language, Toxic Relationship, More as series progresses
A/N: This is the first bit of writing I’ve had the courage to post, maybe you’ll see it. Maybe you won’t! But it feels good to get it out there. I hope you enjoy it!
Summary:Y/N was different from the rest; living in a quaint lakehouse, on the edge of one of the most rich and prosperous towns in America. She was surrounded with the elite, the wealthy and people who never took responsibility for their actions. Money gave them everything, while in turn, it had taken something from her. In result, she kept her distance, never wanting to get involved with high society, until one fateful night changed her life…forever.
Rating:18+
Warnings: Slow burn, anxious thoughts, mentions of sex, sex language, conflicting thoughts, swears. That’s about it. Please don’t hate me. :’)
A/N: Slow burn be burning…but for how much longer…what could possibly happen next…right? *nervous laugh here* Thank you so much for your love, and for reading <3
I also want to say a massive thank you to my wonderful @deanwanddamons for being my wonderful beta, and for kicking my ass where needed. Love you <3 __________________________
The air was still. Only a light breeze caressed her moon kissed skin every once in a while as Y/N placed one heeled foot in front of the other. She was surprised she was able to walk, that her legs weren’t wobbling as she strolled down the sidewalk away from Winchester Manor. Her core was still throbbing, the inside of her thighs closest to her centre still wet from how hard her unknown partner had made her come. One hand came to tuck some hair behind her ear as she sucked in a shaky breath, her fingers finding the ribbon of her mask before she pulled on the knot, resulting in it coming undone. Catching it as it fell from her face, she used her thumbs to trace the material as she thought about what the hellhad just happened.
Her movement slowed as she recollected his soft but firm touches; the way his lips felt upon hers as he caught them in a kiss when they both found their delirium. She couldn’t help but touch her mouth at the memory, yearning for the weight of him on top of her again, missing him like he was a drug she had been addicted to for years. She was conflicted, how could she not be. Y/N had been without the love of another for so long, craving the connection like the one she had experienced in that room but knowing that it had been with someone who she hated, who she despised; it shadowed her in shame.
Shaking her head and straightening her shoulders, she shoved the mask inside her clutch before she continued to walk the path towards her home, not caring about the looks she was getting from the few passersby. Maybe she should have brought a coat with her, or at least something to cover her breasts. She knew that the cool night air was most definitely affecting her nipples, the buds clearly prominent in the silk material. It caused her to cross her arms over her chest as she quickened her pace, eager to get behind the safety of her own door. She knew what men in this town were capable of, and maybe it was wrong of her to decide to saunter home while dressed in such a sultry dress, but she just needed to escape.
When she had rushed out of the Lights Out room, her heart was hammering against her ribs, her stomach churning with exhilaration, anxiety and excitement. She was a ball of twisted emotions, all of them entangling in the other like some messed up ball of yarn while she tried her hardest to figure out her next move. She knew she couldn’t stay, especially when she heard him shout out for her as she hastily left his company.
“Hey, wait!”
Y/N remembered the sound of his husk filled voice. It was still so prominent in her mind and for a split second, she had been tempted to do as he said. There was something in his tone that called to her; desperation, want, longing - but she was unsure whether that was her own darkest yearning calling out to her instead. Twisting the situation to sate her inner demons, to fill the lonely void she had in her heart.
So she ran, took the steps as quickly as she could whilst ensuring her dress wasn’t inside out when she eventually stepped out into more adequate lighting. She had fumbled in the dark, waited for the moment his breathing had started to even out before she took the opportunity to slide off the mattress and blindly attempt to retrace her steps. She was thankful that her outfit was made out of silk, causing it to be easily identifiable. However, she had been unable to find her underwear but that was no love lost considering it was a thong she had been wearing, and with the little fabric it was made of, she may as well had not been wearing it at all.
Y/N had tried not to make it too obvious that she was in a hurry, not wanting to draw attention to herself as she strode down the corridor that led back to the main hall. She actually felt relief when the guests were more interested in finding pleasure in each other rather than her heels fastly clicking against the floor. With her fingers wrapped around the door handle, she had pushed herself back into the crowd, her eyes scanning for her best friend. It didn’t take long to locate Joanna; the blonde was sitting at the bar with a beer in front of her as she chatted quite happily to the server behind it.
She had whispered in her ear, told her that she was going home and she would fill her in later. Of course, she was met with curious brown eyes and a furrowed brow but Y/N didn’t have the time to answer any of the questions that were desperate to leave Jo’s lips. Time was of the essence for her, and as she stood there, hair slightly messed up, cheeks flushed with a chest that was heaving, more eyes fell upon her. They were hungered gazes that made her feel like she was fresh meat, a tempting fruit that was ripe for picking. Before, they made her feel incredibly desirable but now, they were causing her to cower into herself, wanting nothing more than to escape and retreat back to her own safe haven. With that, and with a nod from her friend, she wasted no time in collecting her items from the lobby, before she had wandered into the night without so much as a single backwards glance at Winchester Manor.
Taking a deep breath, she gazed up towards the stars that twinkled like small diamonds against the night sky. They gave her comfort; her mind always looking to string together constellations like her very own personal dot to dot as she wondered if heaven was truly a thing. Were her parents looking down on her? Were they proud of who she had become? Would they have been happy with how she had behaved tonight?
Y/N found it hard to answer those questions, because she felt as though her own perception of her family had become skewed over time. They had been moulded into what she had thoughtthey would be based off of what little memories she had of them. That was when she felt the flames of her rage begin to grow low inside her stomach, the embers of a fire that had never truly been put out still burning even after all this time. If they hadn’t been taken away from her by an irresponsible drunk driver, then she would never have to use her imagination in these circumstances.
Running a hand through her hair, Y/N finally made it to the gravel path her lake house was situated on, and she was thankful. Her feet were killing her thanks to the heels, and she was desperate to take them off. She also couldn’t wait to swap the dress for her favorite lounge set and sit in front of Netflix until she fell asleep. That dream was getting ever closer, and as her iron gate came into view, so did a brown and white colored fluffball who was sitting quite proudly on the wall next to it. It made her smile, and without hesitation, her hand extended in front of her to stroke Oldwin’s head.
“Hey boy,” she greeted warmly, her fingers tickling his chin as she took note of two pearly white fangs either side of his jaw, “you not going home tonight?”
She was met with a loud purr, the cat’s body slowly rising as he pushed himself further into her touch. He then jumped down from the wall, his little paws elegantly trotting up the path towards her front door before he turned to meow in her direction. It caused her to chuckle softly as she opened her clutch to search for her keys.
“I’ll take that as a no then,” she spoke softly, quickly catching up with her feline friend before she unlocked and pushed open her door.
Without hesitation, Oldwin rushed inside and darted to the left, intent on heading to his favorite place next to the fire while Y/N placed her clutch on the side, and finally took off her shoes, letting out a low hum in relief. There was nothing quite like the feeling of placing feet flat on the floor after being in heels for a long amount of time; the pleasurable, aching burn that radiates through the heel and into the ankle.
Next on her agenda was a shower; she needed to wash away her shame, and clean herself up after everything that had happened earlier that evening. She tried to stop the way her stomach swooped at the thought of her mystery man, as she remembered the way he growled into her ear as she took him to the hilt, but it was of no use. Those memories were unchained; she was unable to shut them in a drawer and forget because there was a part of her that was clinging onto the way it made her feel.
“It was just sex,” she mumbled to herself in irriation as she stomped her way up her stairs, already beginning to strip herself of the red dress. When she made it to her bathroom, the material had pooled on the floor and she had stepped out of it.
Y/N then turned the faucet in the shower, allowing the hot water to stream down onto her tiled floor as she stood in front of the mirror, grabbing a washcloth to begin to wipe away her makeup. She rubbed at her skin, cleansing away the black smears of her mascara and the red stains of her lipstick before she moved to stand under the warm waterfall that would rinse away everything of this evening.
That was when she smelt him.
She immediately stopped, backing partly out of the shower in order to regain her composure. His cologne must have rubbed off on her when they were being intimate, and now there were no winds to blow the scent behind her, she could smell him on her skin. Warm, spicy, earthy; it made her crave him. Encouraged her core to clench around nothing as her mind happily took her back to earlier when he had his hand around her throat, making her come so hard she literally saw little stars in the corner of her vision. It had surprised her how easy it was to lower all of her defences when she was unable to see, when one sense had been taken away. She was able to give herself freely to a man she had never met, to indulge in fantasies she had never been brave enough to try. But to submit so easily to a stranger, to allow him to dominate her the way he had; that was something she was having a hard time wrapping her head around.
She had to wash it off, she couldn’t keep feeling like this. It was meant to be a one time thing, a quick fix, a metaphorical scratch of her itch so she would be satisfied for another year or so. But it had only done the opposite. It made her realise just what she was missing, and now it was like it was highlighted in bold, a neon sign flashing brightly in her mind telling her that a connection that strong could possible with someone else in this town.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, she thought, reaching swiftly for her body soap before she lathered a generous amount in her hand. She quickly applied it to her skin, covering as much as she possibly could in an effort to cleanse herself of her own sin. She scrubbed until she felt like her flesh was starting to hurt, but she had to be sure that his scent was gone, desperate to forget the mystery man.
Following this, she swiftly exited the shower and began to dry herself. She was eager to go downstairs and light a fire, to grab a glass of wine before turning on the television and losing her mind into a fictional world. She needed distractions, and she needed them now. So, with a towel wrapped just above her breasts, she went back into her bedroom and searched for some fresh clothes, opting on her favorite pair of grey sweats and a loose black Led Zeppelin tank top. It was an outfit that always made her calm, that always provided her with a sense of comfort whenever she had the urge to ground herself.
Once dressed, she then padded back downstairs and proceeded to light the fire, much to Oldwin’s approval as he meowed loudly to her in thanks. Y/N had to laugh at that, giving him a small stroke along from his head to his tail before she stood to go and grab a drink from the kitchen. She did wonder why he was here, and if his owner ever panicked that their cat was missing. Before now, she hadn’t allowed the feline to come into her home, not wanting to encourage this behaviour when she had seen that he wore a collar, meaning he belonged to someone else. But when the weather started to get bad, and the animal was huddled on her front step, she couldn’t refuse him any longer.
Emptying the last of her wine from the bottle in her fridge into her glass, she let out a small sigh before grabbing a fairly large unopened bar of chocolate from the cupboard. Yet, as she began to stroll back into her living room, a series of buzzing noises caught her attention. Shit, her phone. She had left it inside of her clutch in desperation to shower, and now she was concerned that her Pops was in need of her help. So without hesitation, she quickly fumbled open her bag from the side table and retrieved her cell. Highlighting the screen, her eyes widened when she saw four missed calls from Jo. But before she could even think of returning them, the vibrations began again and the smiling face of her friend filled the display.
“THANK GOD!” A voice huffed loudly as soon as she had answered, and Y/N furrowed her brow when she heard the tone.
“Jo?” she asked cautiously, moving slowly back into the living room, carefully carrying her glass of wine.
“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” the blonde scolded, and it caused her expression to morph into one of confusion. Why would she be feeling that way?
“Why, what’s happened?” Y/N asked, her frown deepening as she sunk into her sofa and placed her drink on the coffee table in front of her, sliding the chocolate alongside it.
“You! You happened! Are you home?” Joanna frantically asked, her voice a little squeaky thanks to her panic.
“Yeah, I’m safe,” she clarified, before leaning back against her cushions, her eyes staring upwards towards her ceiling. “…I did tell you that I was leaving.”
“I know, but I thought you would have rung Ash and let him drive you home!” her friend exclaimed, before talking again and not giving Y/N the chance to speak. “I know, stupid of me to think that with your fear and everything. But you weren’t answering your phone and it just made me anxious. Anything could have happened.”
“Yeah I just walked home, you know I prefer that,” she breathed, flexing her feet subconsciously before sighing. “Besides, I needed to clear my head. Then I had a shower as soon as I got home. I’m sorry to make you worry.”
“Did something happen in the–” Jo started, her voice now full of concern and she knew immediately where her friend’s mind was heading. That was a thought that she had to make the blonde curb immediately.
“–No nothing. I’m fine, trust me,” Y/N urged, her lips curving slightly again when the memory began to replay in her head. But it was then that she realised that Joanna was talking to her, and she was still at the event. Wasn’t that against the rules? “Wait…you shouldn’t have your phone.”
“I’m in the lobby. There’s a guard breathing down my neck to ensure I don’t leak any information,” she clarified, before making ‘shooing away’ sounds. Y/N could only imagine that she was giving the security a death glare. “So…did you enjoy…you know…it?”
That was the question she knew that was coming, considering Jo was the one that encouraged her to go for it. But still, she sighed out her answer, “Yeah?”
“You sound really unsure,” Joanna replied, curiosity lacing her tone.
“No the sex was…Jo it was incredible,” Y/N beamed, unable to stop herself from smiling whenever she recalled the memory in her mind. “I haven’t felt that good in so long. He just knewmy body, how is that even possible? I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“You lucky son of a bitch,” the blonde laughed, causing her to join in, the sound infectious. “So,then what’s the problem?”
There it was, the lead ball of shame that squashed the slightest bit of happiness that dared to grow inside of her. “I…”
She couldn’t even let the words leave her mouth, her brain unable to form the explanation needed to try and make Joanna understand. Instead, she just focused on the fabric tassels of the blanket that hung over the back of her sofa, her concentration on that task leaving a long silence amongst friends.
“Y/N…”the blonde breathed down the line, “please don’t say it’s because of who it was with. You need to let it go. This was meant to be an unattached thing.”
“I know, Jo. I do, okay? I agreed to go, to let bygones be for the evening to enjoy myself,” she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she slid further down her sofa so she was now lying on her back. “But I feel so guilty, like I’ve defied my own beliefs. Like I’ve thrown away everything that I stand for. All for a long, toe curling fumble with a stranger.”
“Girl, you need to cut yourself some slack,” Joanna advised, her voice filled with warmth as she continued to talk. “You are one of the most hardworking people that I know, who is nothing like 95% of the people here. So what if you’ve enjoyed yourself for once? That’s okay!”
“Maybe,” Y/N sighed, bringing up her arm to rest over her forehead.
“If it helps, just think of the person as just a cock. He was just a singular, floating, rock hard cock,” the blonde stated, her words serious and clear as can be.
Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle, before letting out a low groan. “With hands that choked me, and a tongue that made me come so hard I nearly passed out?”
“Holy shit,” Jo breathed, and she nodded slowly, even though she knew her friend would be unable to see her. “Okay, I’m going to need all of those details.”
“When you get back, I’ll happily share with the class,” Y/N laughed. She could picture the blonde’s face, her mouth agape in shock while desperately wanting to hear the rest of the tale. “Go and enjoy the rest of the party.”
“Are you sure?” Jo pushed, and it caused Y/N to smile. It was sweet that she didn’t want to leave her alone, that she was even going to sacrifice her own enjoyment just for her. But there was no way in hell that she would allow that to happen. Joanna needed her fun too.
“Positive,” she clarified, her arm now off her head as her hand searched for the remote for the television, powering on the appliance.
“Alright. I’ll text you when I’m on the way back.”
After saying their goodbyes, Y/N hung up her phone and placed it on the table before opening up Netflix. She flicked through a couple of the series options available, wanting to find something binge worthy and easy to watch. Once settled, and with a new romantic drama started, she opened up the wrapper on her chocolate and began to relax, willing her mind to forget the events of tonight.
Except she couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried. Every time there was a longing glance between the main protagonists of the show, a near kiss, a forbidden touch; she was transported back to the darkened room with the man that has now apparently ruined her for all other males. Why could she not stop thinking about him? Why could she not get the time they spent together out of her head? Yes, it was good sex. Yes, she felt a connection but she is also a grown woman who doesn’t need the love of an elite. She was quite capable of being on her own, of supporting herself; the only thing she didn’t have was the sensational cock that filled her perfectly. But…that was what toys were for…right?
Fuck, she chastitsed herself, letting out a huff as she bit into another small square of chocolate. Is this how it’s going to be from this point forward? Everything reminding her of the three mind blowing orgasms he gave her?
“Don’t look at me like that,” Y/N murmured, squinting her eyes a little at Oldwin who lay with his paws dangling over his bed, the end of his tail flicking slightly as he stared her way. “You don’t have these problems.”
To that, he just let out a low meow, as if he was responding to her sentence. She just shook her head as a frustrated growl passed her lips. “I need to just forget all about it. It’s never going to happen again and it was with an elitist Oldwin, a man who thinks his actions don’t have consequences.”
She continued to rant at the feline who lay in front of the fire, unmoved by her ravings as he slowly stood and stretched his little body, shaking his back paws before he quickly trotted over towards her. Within moments, he had jumped up onto her lap, nudging his head against her chin in comfort and she couldn’t help but stroke him.
“Look at me now, this is the result of his action. I’m here, pining over a man who may as well be a shadow, mourning the loss of someone who apparently knew my body better than I do and what will he be doing?” she asked aloud, looking into the bright blue eyes of her ragdoll companion, “Drinking probably and moving onto the next hole.”
Taking a very deep breath, she let the air out through her nose in a long sigh. Her chest ached, an unknown feeling of sadness washing over her as she came to her final conclusion. “I’m better off pretending like it never happened.”
——————————————– Chapter Fifteen ——————————————– A/N: Its fine right? It’s allllllll fine. *nervous laugh* I hope you enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading! Tag list is open!
If you want to be step into the darkness with me, then let me know HERE:)
Summary:Y/N was never a big fan of sailors, so when a ship full of them dock at the harbor in her town, she’s anything but happy. However, there is one in particular that is determined to prove to her that not all men of the sea are the same, and dedicates each day of his shore leave to the task of changing her mind. Will the green eyed sailor prove his point, or hers?
Rating:15+
Warnings: Fluff, just fluff. .
A/N: *sings* and now…the end is here. This is it guys, the last instalment of Hello, Sailor! Can you believe it? Thank you all so so much for reading it. It honestly means the absolute world. Could there be a sequel? Maybe. We’ll see how that goes. I have idea’s rattling in my head but nothing concrete as of yet. It all depends of if it’s something you want too! But honestly, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Love you guys! Hope you enjoy!
I also want to say a massive thank you to my bestie; @deanwanddamons for being my wonderful beta, and for kicking my ass where needed. __________________________
A gentle breeze blew over the diner patio as Y/N wiped down a table that had just been vacated after the breakfast rush. As she leaned forward, sliding the cloth over the surface, the angel wing shell swung back and forth against her chest. The delicate object brushed against her skin and as she stood straight, her fingers came to hold on to it. A smile pulled at her lips as she stood underneath the sunshine, basking in the warmth the golden rays were providing as her mind wandered to the thought of Dean.
Her sailor.
The time they had spent apart had gone agonisingly slow, each day feeling like a week, each month feeling like a year as she waited for the day he would return. As promised though, he had been writing to her. A letter would land on her doormat nearly every day; his scruffy yet readable penmanship the instant indicator that it was from him. There were times when she felt low, her heart yearning for his love like a starving animal craved for a meal, so she would tear open the envelope and read it straight away. Others she waited, the paper burning a hole in her purse as she walked to the end of the docks, and leaned against the mooring post before she allowed herself to get lost in his adventures.
He would tell her tales of where he had been, what his days looked like upon the ship, and when she received the news that he had made the rank of Commander, her chest was fit to burst with pride. She knew she had made the right choice in encouraging him to follow his dream, even though she missed him more than she could possibly describe. Dean would also tell her how his crewmates constantly asked questions about his girl back on dry land. Although, he would never give them the full story as that was something private between the couple, but he would tell them how lucky he was that a woman like Y/N was his. It made her smile to know that he was proud of her, that she was someone who he held in such high regard even after months of being apart. It made her stomach swoop to know that she was in his thoughts everyday, that she was the soul he had chosen to give his heart to.
There had still been no news of when he would return, but the small flame of hope that flickered inside of her never waivered. She still trusted that he would come back, because for the past ten months he had kept his promise. Initially she had the fear that after a few weeks, he would stop writing to her and their journey together would have become a distant memory, a beautiful stamp in time that she could cherish. But that wasn’t to be as he hadn’t forgotten her, and he made sure to remind her of that as often as he could. At the end of every letter, he would always sign off in the exact same way. And no matter how many times she read the words, they alwaysbrought tears to her eyes.
Everyday I miss you more, and everyday I love you more.
Y/N couldn’t wait for when she would receive the news that he was coming back to her little town, that his ship would be docking in the harbor in front of The Daisy Chain. She had been saving up her vacation time for that exact moment, an agreement she had put in place with Donna and Jody. They were more than happy to agree to it, wanting the waitress to finally enjoy her life with a man who she loved. She was so grateful; it was just a waiting game to see when that would be.
The day was warm, and she had opted to wear a loose black and white polka dot sundress, its cotton light upon her body but still, she felt the heat. So, taking a deep breath, she picked up her wash bowl and cloth before she walked back into the diner, grateful for the air conditioning that cooled her skin. She smiled at the patrons that sat in their booths, greeting them with a cheery ‘good afternoon’ as she passed. Once she got to the counter, she lifted up the serving hatch before taking the dirty dishes into the kitchen. She was about to fill the dishwasher, when the sound of her boss caused her to stop.
“Hey sweetie?” It was Jody, and she came to stand by her side with a clipboard in hand. “Could you come and help me in the back? We’ve had a delivery and I just need to count everything before we move it into here.”
“Of course,” Y/N agreed without hesitation, leaving the job she was doing to follow in her friend’s footsteps as she led her towards the rear of the establishment. It didn’t take long to get there and as she walked into the room, the metal shutter open due to the truck that brought the stock was parked, her eyes grew wide. “That is a lot of potatoes.”
At first she thought her eyes were deceiving her, but everywhere she looked there were sacks and sacks of the root vegetable. Carrots, green beans and things such as bread rolls were also mixed in but they were few and far between. Slowly her hands came to rest upon her hips as she took in the whole scene in front of her.
Jody just slowly nodded at her reaction, a little chuckle passing her lips as she looked down at the order form and then back to what surrounded them. “I think Rufus went a bit overboard, hence me needing your help.”
“You’re not kidding,” Y/N laughed before moving across the floor to start sorting, but her boss stopped her in her tracks, handing off the clipboard and pen.
“Can you make the notes?” Jody asked her kindly, “I only have one pair of protective gloves so would prefer to do the heavy lifting myself.”
“That’s fine,” she agreed, although she felt bad that her friend was going to be doing all the work.
It took a couple of hours for them to sort through everything that had been delivered, with Y/N offering a few times to swap roles so she could do her fair share, but Jody constantly refused. As they neared the end, her boss heaving a sack of potatoes back onto the truck, the door that led back into the diner opened to reveal Donna, a bright and infectious smile on her face.
Without explanation, she nodded towards Jody before she traversed the stock to get to Y/N’s side, her fingers combing through the waitress’s hair. The blonde moved a few wayward strands, tucked the rest behind one ear before cupping her cheeks, all while ignoring the confused expression that Y/N was wearing.
“Beautiful,” Donna gushed, before she grabbed the clipboard out of the grasp of the bewildered help and passed it to Jody.
“Thank you?” Y/N replied, her brows furrowed as she tried to work out the behaviour of her bosses.
But before she could question it, the blonde grabbed her by the hand and began to pull her back into the main area of the diner while muttering, “Come with me.”
Of course she did as she was told, and tried her hardest to keep in step with the woman whose grip was tight on her fingers. Their heels echoed loudly over the wooden floors, causing all the customers of The Daisy Chain to focus on the pair as they weaved their way through the tables. Her dress was floating behind her due to the speed she was currently walking. She had tried to ask just what the rush was, but she was met with Donna’s hushing before she bundled her out of the front doors and onto the harbor.
Before Y/N could react, the blonde’s hands had grabbed tightly onto the tops of her arms and twisted her attention towards the bay. That was when she saw it. The large ship that had docked on the bay, the vessel that struck a perfect resemblance to the one that Dean was stationed on. Her stomach churned, her heart pounding hard against her ribs, her palms growing sweaty as her fingers came to clasp the angel wing that hung around her neck.
“Is that…” she breathed softly, her trembling legs carrying her a few steps further out onto the docks so she could get a clearer view.
She didn’t want to get her hopes up, didn’t want to experience the excitement of being able to see her Dean again only to be let down if it wasn’t. She felt like she was holding her breath, her grip tight on the shell he had bought her as her eyes frantically scanned through the growing crowd for the name of the ship. It was almost as if everything was happening in slow motion and she couldn’t get time to move as quickly as she would like. But soon, there was a clear break in the sea of people and her gaze landed on bold black letters. USS Anzio.
“But he didn’t-” Y/N started, her voice starting to tremble with the overflowing wave of emotion that was flooding her. He hadn’t told her he was coming, and had said that it could be another month before he arrived back in her town. It was then that her eyebrows began to knit together, and she turned to Donna who was still standing behind her, “How did you–”
Her query was interrupted by the blonde passing over a letter, and immediately the waitress identified the penmanship as Dean’s, “He wanted it to be a surprise.”
“Oh my god,” she whispered, a tear falling onto her cheek as she read the words her sailor had written. They were full of nothing but love and adoration for her, and he wanted his return to be a secret so she wouldn’t worry about his voyage back home into her arms.
“Go get him, sugar,” Donna encouraged her, taking the letter from her hands before giving her a gentle nudge forward.
Y/N didn’t have to be told twice, so she ran as fast as her legs would allow, praying that her feet wouldn’t fail her while she weaved through waiting families. From what she could see, the ramp had already been lowered meaning sailors must have started to come ashore. It was then that she saw the uniforms, men embracing their lovers, their children, their friends. Her heart was still pounding, her chest still heaving with each anxious breath she took as she desperately searched for her man, for the soul that made her complete.
The seconds felt like minutes, and the anxious pit in her stomach was bubbling as she had yet to find Dean. She was having a hard time locating him, deception lurking at every turn due to the clothes the men of the sea were wearing. But he was a Commander now, he should be easily identifiable so why could she not spot him in this ever growing crowd?
She was just about to panic, about to open the door to her fear that maybe something could have happened to him on his way here, when two large palms rested on her hips from behind. Just like that, she was no longer frightened that he hadn’t returned. No longer scared that he was in harm’s way, because two deep and husky words were spoken as soon as she felt that contact, blanketing her in the comfort she sought.
“Hey Sparky.”
Immediately, she turned around in his hold, her heart ready to burst out of her chest as she saw the familiar emerald orbs looking straight at her. The corner of Dean’s eyes crinkled as he smiled wide and bright. He looked a little more tanned from his time at sea causing his freckles to stand out a little more than she remembered. It was his fingers stroking her cheek that brought her out of her trance, his touch delicate, his thumb tenderly caressing her skin as if he was testing that this moment was as real as he hoped.
She couldn’t wait any longer, it had already been ten months without him. So without hesitation, Y/N rolled onto her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, throwing herself against his body in excitement and wanting. Automatically he tightened his hold on her before he lifted his girl from the floor, their noses tenderly nudging against each other as they both wore their happiness with pride. That was when her lips found his, kissing him with all the love she could muster. Dean Winchester was home, he was safe and he had returned to her just like he had promised.
With reluctance, she pulled back from him to look into his eyes once more, her hands now cupping his slightly stubbled cheeks as he gently lowered her back to the ground. They didn’t part though, their foreheads remained connected as he pulled her body tight against his. That was the moment she finally found the courage to speak, that she was able to trust that her words would not fail her in a breath of overwhelming emotion, to greet her man that had been away for so long.
“Hello, Sailor.”
——————————————– THE END ——————————————– A/N: And so it’s done. Did you like it? Please, please,let me know what you think if and when you have time.
Much love to you all!
Also…keep those peepers peeled for a new series announcement!
Summary:Y/N was different from the rest; living in a quaint lakehouse, on the edge of one of the most rich and prosperous towns in America. She was surrounded with the elite, the wealthy and people who never took responsibility for their actions. Money gave them everything, while in turn, it had taken something from her. In result, she kept her distance, never wanting to get involved with high society, until one fateful night changed her life…forever.
Rating:18+
Warnings: NSFW, slow burn, swearing, kissing, Dom/Sub themes, finger fucking, praise kink, [SPOILERS] angst, arguments, worry *Tabby is in a cave now*
A/N: Guys, I am so so so sorry this is a day late. I got struck down with the biggest amount of writers block this week and no matter what I wrote, it wasn’t good enough for you guys, or myself, or this story. I have rewritten and deleted, and wrote again a few times now before I feel like it was okay. Chapter 18 has finally gone live on patreon which means I can post 13 here! and I can only hope that you will enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for your love, and for reading <3
I also want to say a massive thank you to my wonderful @deanwanddamons for being my wonderful beta, and for kicking my ass where needed. Love you <3 __________________________
Dean’s mind was spinning; his chest heaving as he came down from his post orgasmic high. He had just experienced the best sex that he had ever had, felt a connection he had never encountered before, and it was all with a stranger at his own party. However, his heart was still very much in his throat as he was propped up on his elbow, resting on his side while his fingers stroked up and down her soft skin. Her shaky breathing and soft gasps were the only sounds filling the silence. Was she who he suspected her to be?
When he began to undress her, he couldn’t help but hesitate slightly when he felt the material of her dress. The fabric was silk; the exact same the woman in red was wearing, the woman that had enchanted him from the moment his eyes had laid upon her. He knew it was a long shot, knowing that there may also be another woman, or two, wearing this exact same type of cloth but in the deepest, darkest parts of him, he hoped it was her.
“So what happens now?” Her soft question broke him out of his thoughts, her voice sounding like smooth honey as it filtered into his ears. It warmed him, his cock already twitching once more upon the sound of it.
“What do you mean?” Dean questioned, flattening his hand against her stomach as he waited for her to reply.
“Well I’ve never done anything like this before,” she admitted, and even though there was no way she could see his expression, his eyebrows still shot up to meet his hairline.
“Could have fooled me,” he chuckled low. Without the confession, he would never have believed that was her first time in a Lights Out chamber. She seemed so experienced, so confident; it made him all the more attracted to the enigma beside him. “What would you like to happen?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, her voice a little unsure as her body slightly moved beneath his palm. She was squirming against him, and that only caused him to smirk.
She wanted more.
Hesitantly, and cautiously, he began to trail his touch to just below her navel, his pinky close to her mound. Dean was testing her boundaries, seeing if it was okay to continue. He had known her for less than twenty four hours, and already he was addicted to the way he had made him feel; to the taste of her, the feel of her, the smell of her. She was like a sweet narcotic that he was unable to give up, that had him hooked after the first pill, and when she let out a small whimper in response to him, he took that as his cue to move lower.
His fingers dipped back into her core, and he couldn’t help but let out a small growl at how wet she still was; all for him. She had made the sweetest noises when he brought her to the edge before, and he couldn’t wait to hear them again. So he found her swollen nub and began to slowly tease it, rubbing in small circles as he lowered his head hesitantly, his lips finding the curve of her neck. It was then that he kissed her, working her body towards another wave of pleasure as he slipped two of his thick digits inside of her. The woman beside him mewled, gasped and whined as he nipped at her skin, as he pushed her further and further towards her next orgasm. He wanted to record these sounds, wanted to remember this woman and relive this experience over and over again.
Dean had always been a giver when it came to sex, had always enjoyed bringing his women to their own form of delirium over and over again. He found satisfaction in it, his chest swelling with pride when they screamed his name, clawed at his back and cried out for a power mightier than him. But with her, it was different. He found he wanted to do it not because of the gratification he felt, but because of how he craved to hear her voice. Her moans were like liquid ecstasy; drops of rain teasing a drought plagued land.
But he didn’t want her to come just yet. No, he wanted to savor the moment, wanted to tease and build upon the sweet foundations he had already laid down. So he continued to kiss her, his tongue teasing paths up to her jawline as his body half hovered over hers. He felt how one of her breasts brushed against him as she panted, fuck if it didn’t make him want to roll on top of her and lose himself inside of her again. That’s when his mind wandered to the thought of entering her bareback, and like a horny teenager, he nearly came from the mere idea. His kisses then found the corner of her mouth, before he covered her lips with his completely, swallowing down every whimper as he ramped up his rhythm. It didn’t take too long of him doing that to push her over the edge, her hand now gripping his as he lazily fucked her with her fingers, helping her to ride through her orgasm.
“Good girl,” Dean praised from above her, and the long satisfied whine that left her was enough to make his chest ache with contentment.
He withdrew his digits before rolling onto his back, feeling as though a weight was lifted from his shoulders. In this room, he wasn’t Dean Winchester. He wasn’t the son of the most elite family in the valley, wasn’t the playboy everyone made him out to be; he wasn’t pretending to be someone he was not. He was himself, a soul who he hadn’t seen in so long, and it felt damn near freeing.
Even the fact that this woman beside him wasn’t asking questions was refreshing. She had no desire to find out who he was, and even though that was the point of the event and these rooms, it was still something that tended to nearly always happen. They always wanted to know who had been so kinky as to try one of these chambers out, or who it was that perhaps enjoyed a particular sexual act. Some used it as leverage, others to seek out partners for affairs once the party was over but whoever she was, had no intention of doing anything. Not unlike who he’s being made to masquerade around with. Bela Talbot.
Fuck. Bela.
Dean had completely and utterly forgotten about her. The idea of having to face that shitstorm was making him want to stay inside of this chamber for the rest of the event, but he knew that couldn’t happen. He was going to have to defuse that bomb and somehow still try and keep the peace between everyone. How? He had no idea but he would work something out, he always did. Besides, she did tell him to go to room six and that is exactly what he had done. It wasn’t his fault that someone was already inside this room.
That’s a weak excuse to stand on and you know it, he thought. Truthfully, it was. He didn’t have to sleep with this addictive stranger, and the fact that he had done that while knowing he should have been with the brunette spoke volumes.
Pulling off his mask, he rubbed at his eyes as he tried to stop his mind from whirring. He so desperately wanted to give into his body, to relax into the mattress beneath him while idly talking to the woman who he felt so strangely comfortable with. Yet the idea of his father storming about on the floor above him, with his distant cousin lapping at his heel as they searched for the host, paired with the no doubt fuming face of Bela, prevented him from doing that.
Wanting to make the most of the time he did have however, Dean rolled onto his side again to reach out for the woman who he was sharing the darkness with, only to be met with the warm sheets of the bed. He panicked, his hand patting further and further away from him as he searched for the body that had pleasured him just moments ago. It was then that he heard the rustling of clothes, and his stomach churned. He needed to know who she was; not for any business purposes, or for even further sexual favors, but for her company.
Fuck, he was just like the others, wasn’t he?
That thought alone stopped him from opening his mouth, from preventing her from leaving him naked on the bed. It was her prerogative to slip out without revealing who she was, and he knew that. But this was the first time in his life where he had felt truly connected to somebody. Maybe it was the room, maybe it was because they were sharing this blackened space…maybe he was overthinking it.
It wasn’t until he heard the sound of the door opening did he move to sit up straighter, feeling a heavy weight pull at his chest. He couldn’t believe he was feeling sad about an unknown person leaving him after an hour of amazing sex. They had no ties to each other, no obligations, so why the hell was he sitting there with a dejected ball of emotion settling deep within his stomach? Before he could even question it however, the answer revealed itself. Through the now open doorway, Dean saw a small beam illuminate part of the hallway from Evan’s flashlight which in turn, helped to reveal part of the woman who he had devoured moments before. The red dress. It was her.
“Hey, wait!” Dean shouted, rushing from the bed before placing his hands out in front of him, not wanting to bump into anything and stumble. But she didn’t wait, even though she hesitated for a split second, she was soon out of his sight. “Shit!”
He needed to find his clothes, and fast. Stumbling around the space, he found the swing and blindly bent down to the floor, using his fingers to feel around for the material he was searching for. It felt like he was trying to complete a damn rubix cube; how the hell was this so complicated? How the hell did shemanage to find her dress and get ready so easily?! Every second that passed was one too long. He had to find her, had to work out who she was in order to calm the unruly curious storm that was surging inside of him.
Finally, after what felt like forever, Dean was dressed back in his suit; although whether it was inside out or not was another issue, and something he would sort when in more adequate lighting. He rushed out of the room as fast as his legs would take him, his fingers still doing up the buttons on his white shirt as he came face to face with the security guard who shone his light in the host’s direction.
“Evan, where did she go?!” Dean demanded, sliding his arms back into his suit jacket as he frantically looked up and down the dimly lit hallways.
“Who?” The question was paired with the flashlight being aimed into the host’s face, the security guard wearing a bemused expression as he saw how flustered the man before him was.
“The woman in the red dress,” Dean urged, his tone quite snappy as he ran his fingers through his dishevelled hair. “She came out of room six moments ago.”
“Towards the stairs on the right,” Evan quickly answered, pointing that way before his smirk grew wide. “Wanting a stiff drink after what you did to her no doubt.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Dean muttered, slapping the security guard on the shoulder quickly before he half jogged down the corridor.
Hehad to find her, and he could only pray that she hadn’t gone too far. Of course, he had no idea what he was going to say to her, but if he could just get a name, a place of employment; something which meant she wouldn’t be out of his life for good, then at least he would be able to sleep tonight. Without a piece of information however, he knew trying to locate her, or at least finding out who she was, would be like looking for a needle in a very large and complicated haystack.
His feet found the staircase that led back up to the main hall, his grip tight on the rail to help him take the steps two at a time, when a hand wrapped around his wrist. It yanked at him with force which caused him to stumble back slightly as an angry voice sounded from behind him. “Where the hellwere you?!”
Turning around, his gaze fell upon the brunette who he was supposed to be sharing one of the chambers with. Fuck. “Bela, I don’t have time for this.”
“Then make some!” She shouted, stomping one of her feet as her balled up fists thrusted downwards at her sides. “I have been waiting for you in that room for ages and yo–” She cut off her own words as her gaze took in his less than tidy appearance, her focus on his neck, “-wait, why is your bow tie undone?”
“I–” Dean started, not really wanting to choose this exact moment to explain that he had no interest in her whatsoever and that he, instead, was more infatuated with a woman whom he only knew wore a red dress, and gave him the most mind blowing head ever.
“-Oh my god,” Bela gasped, her fingers coming to cover her mouth partially. “You had sex with someone else didn’t you?!” Her voice was raised, and it caused the people around them to stare in their general direction.
At first he wasn’t too bothered, knowing that he had half of his face hidden by his masquerade mask meaning that his identity was secret. That was, until he remembered he took it off on the bed in room six, and in his haste to chase after the enchantress, he had completely forgotten to put it back on. Great. Fucking great.
“Look I don’t want to get into this now,” Dean stated, trying to stay as calm as possible as to not escalate this situation any further. “I need to-”
“-I can’t believe you!” Bela shrieked, slapping her hand hard against his chest as she continued to fume. “I told you I would be in room six and you deliberately chose to go somewhere else.”
The green-eyed host thought he had a lot of patience; he had been tested many times in his life by numerous different circumstances and he had always managed to stay calm. But right then, while he felt the burning eyes of many on his back, and the judgmental stare from the woman in front of him, his restraint was wearing very thin.
“I DID go to room six!” Dean snapped, taking a step down the stairs towards her as he gestured down the hallway towards the chambers. “I followed your instructions to the letter and you weren’t there. That’s NOT on me.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense!” she argued, shaking her head as she continued to scowl. He didn’t need to see her without her mask to know she was making that expression; the way her nose was crinkling and mouth hung slightly agape told him that.
“Then take it up with Evan. I was where I was supposed to be,” he argued, his tone dominant and sharp as he held his ground. All the while in the back of his head, he knew he was running out of time to find the woman in the red dress. What if she changes? What if she leaves?
What if? What if? What if?
“But the fact still stands that you stuck your cock into someone else!” the brunette cried, and that was the moment that Dean decided that he’d had enough. He couldn’t stand living in this veil of deception any longer and hell, the opportunity had presented itself.
“So fucking what, Bela!” he spat, not caring that he had dropped her name, nor that his gruff voice had reverberated off the walls around them. He had a point that he needed to make. “We aren’t exclusive, we never havebeen exclusive!”
“That’s a lie!” she fired back, a nervous laugh leaving her as she looked around, almost as if she was waiting for backup that was never going to arrive. But her words only infuriated him further, causing a fiery rage he hadn’t felt in a long time erupt within the very core with him, and burst out of his mouth.
“I DON’T LIE!” Dean roared, his expression darkening as she flinched back away from him. It caused him to lower his tone slightly, giving him the pause needed to take a deep breath. “Tell me when that happened?! Because if I remember correctly, you just assumed that of us, and took advantage of the fact that I just fuck you whenever I feel like it.” Even though he wasn’t shouting, his words were still sharp, his delivery of them cutting through her facade like paper. “Newsflash Bela, you’re just my go to for whenever I need a good lay, nothingelse.”
“De-” Her eyes were glazed over, her hand now resting on her chest as she shrunk into herself. That was when he knew he had gone a little too far, allowing all of his frustrations to form the bullet he just shot straight at the brunette.
“-Look, I’m sorry, alright? But you knew whatever was between us was justsex. I never wanted anything more from you, and I never will. I’m not doing this anymore,” he informed her, stern and precise before he began to turn away. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”
“You’ll regret this!” Bela shouted after him, as he began to take the steps at a hurried pace, not caring about the spectacle he had just created on the floor of the Lights Out chambers.
“I really don’t care,” Dean admitted, stopping momentarily to look back at her. “You want some honest advice? You could do a lot more with your life if you really tried to. You don’t need to rely on your fathers money for everything.”
“Fuck you,” she hissed, staring him down with fury alight in her eyes. To that, he just smiled before letting out a slow and long breath.
“Enjoy the rest of the party, Bela.”
Dean left her standing at the bottom of the staircase as he rushed to get to the main floor, not caring about the problem he knew he had created. There would be repercussions for his actions, that much he knew for certain, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to be with Bela in the first place, and it wasn’t right for him to string her along in an attempt to keep everyone happy when his heart truly wasn’t in it in the first place. But all of that worry and stress would have to wait for later. Right now, his priority was finding his enigma, his enchantress; the woman who made him feel more like himself than he ever thought possible.
He rushed along the corridor, glancing in every tight space, looking behind every door and in each hidden corner he could find. So far, there was no sight of her and it only made his stomach tighten. His last hope would be that she was in the main hall, back at the bar with a glass of alcohol like Evan had originally suggested. So he ran, carefully rushing past guests who were travelling in the opposite direction, being mindful to not bump into them or spill their drinks. Unfortunately, however, there was one person who stepped out at the wrong time and his shoulder sent their whiskey spilling to the floor.
“Woah brother,” the southern accent sounded, and as Dean quickly looked at the face of his victim, he realised he had quite literally ran into Benny. His friend’s once happy expression was now morphing into one of worry as he hesitantly came to rest a hand upon the host’s shoulder. “Everything okay? Where’s your mask?”
“Have you seen the woman in the red dress?” Dean quickly blurted out, his eyes scanning behind and around him as his heart thudded inside his chest.
“You didn’t end up talking to her?” Benny questioned, frowning a little when he took a note of how the man in front of him was acting.
Dean could only huff a quick breath, his eyebrows raising slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, “I’ve done a lot more than that.”
“What?” Benny guffawed, before steeling himself by pursing his lips together. Still, he couldn’t help but whisper his next question, stepping a little closer as to not make it widely known knowledge. “De, you sleptwith her?”
“Look I’ll tell you everything later but right now, I need to find her,” Dean stated urgently, his attention still very much on the crowd as he rolled to his tiptoes, hoping the extra inch would help locate this woman. “I still have no idea who she is, or where she’s from and there was this…” he sighed, fighting the temptation to tell his friend he felt a connection unlike any other, “…doesn’t matter, I just want to find her okay?”
The urgency in Dean’s tone was enough to convince his friend, and when a waiter walked by with an empty tray, Benny was quick to place his empty glass upon it. “Alright, boss. I’ll start lookin’. I’ll take her for a drink if I locate her.”
With a pat on Dean’s shoulder, his cajun friend blended into the crowd in the opposite direction to him. A sigh of little relief left his lips; he was just glad to have someone who he could trust, who didn’t question his actions or motives, on his side. Without wasting another minute, the host quickly moved through the sea of people that surrounded him, his eyes scanning every available body and corner that they could. He glanced over towards the bar, his heart plummeting to his stomach when he realised she wasn’t there. He needed a better vantage point, needed to get higher so he could look out over the whole of the room.
Without hesitation, he moved towards the staircase that led to the upper floors of his home, the steps that were sectioned off with a rope and security to ensure no-one could pass them. As he climbed, one of the guards nodded towards him in acknowledgement before he removed the barrier to let him pass. That was when Dean turned around, his hands by his sides as he surveyed the party from an angle only he could use. Yet all he saw was an ocean of black and white, pawns on a chessboard that didn’t even realise they were being played by something that was much bigger than they were. A colorless scene filled with fake personas and unspoken debts.
There was not a single red dress amongst them.
——————————————– Chapter Fourteen ——————————————– A/N: *tabby hides now* Please do not shout…remember the slow burns lol. Tag list is open!
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