#dirkgently
todd: did i ever tell you how great you cook?
dirk: uwu no…
todd: then why do you keep doing it?
todd: what would you do with your brain if you had one?
dirk: well I would~
dirk:wait
dirk: I accidentally scratched Todd’s guitar. How long do you think I have to fix this?
amanda:ten
dirk:ten?
amanda:nine
todd: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
dirk: I thought it was romantic to release birds at a wedding…..
todd: you released OSTRICHES
todd: come on, touch it, you feel how hard it is
dirk: yes ……
todd: how many times did I tell you to put the bread in the bag
dirk: why can’t dinosaurs clap?
amanda: because their paws are too short and….
todd: because they all died.
farah, bringing a huge cake into the room: happy birthday, Todd, this is for you!
todd:
todd: Dirk’s inside the cake, huh?
cake:no
dirk: time to get busy
todd: it’s 2am
dirk: does this change anything?
todd: people sleep at this time
dirk:weaklings
stewardess: we are in a turbulence zone. make sure all small things are safe.
dirk:
todd:what?
dirk: are you safe?
todd: I’m going to hit you now.
dirk: Todd has delicious chapstick
amanda: wow, did you kiss?
todd: no, this asshole ate my lipstick
dirk: I like you
todd: I’ve always said that you have a problem with taste
todd: I don’t know how to flirt, so I’ll stare at you until you marry me.
todd: let’s go buy wedding rings
dirk: not early? What if I still change my mind?
todd: well then make yourself a gold tooth
dirk: what do you mean? Which tooth?
todd: WHAT I WILL KNOCK YOU IF YOU DON’T AGREE WHAT DO YOU LAUGH I AM SERIOUS
dirk: something incomprehensible is spinning in my head
todd: the brain?
ditk: Todd gasps, I need to call 911 but button 9 doesn’t work!!
tina: Flip the phone and press the 6.
dirk: you are a genius!
todd: *stops choking* what the fuck
dirk (sweating): so I wanted to ask you…
todd: oh thank gods you’re proposing to me
dirk: what …. how did you know?!
todd: you dropped the ring seven times
dirk:…..
todd: I even had to lift it once
todd: see the stars?
dirk:*dreamily* yeah
todd: so get up, our tent was stolen
dirk:*appears in Todd’s T-shirt*
todd: shit, you’re robbing me again
dirk:…what?
todd: first my heart, now my shirt. what’s next? My last name?
dirk:what
todd:what
Break into some bellhop dude’s apartment and make him your assistant and friend even though he thinks you’re weird?
*snaps fingers* DID IT!
Escape a death maze? *snaps fingers* DID IT!
Solve a case that has to do with body-swapping and time travel? *snaps fingers* DID IT!
Totally fall in love with one of your friends (the smol bellhop guy one) and think he’s perfect? *snaps fingers* DID IT!!
Get kidnapped and tied up by Beast who totally digs you and wants you to be her boyfriend? *snaps fingers* BIBBIT!!!!!!
And the award for The Best Textpost I’ve ever seen goes to @prettyodd-art
Reblog if you think Dirk should rock a pink or an orange or a purple etc. jacket in season 3
