#dr alchemy

Hugo Strange: From the patient files of Dr. Hugo Strange, director of Arkham Asylum. Patient: Alvin Desmond, also known as (sigh) - as the second Dr. Alchemy. (Pause) And no, as far as I can tell, this one has no relationship to Dr. Albert Desmond, in spite of the shared last name. Patient suffers from Antisocial Personality Disorder and a delusional belief that he has some sort of supernatural connection with Dr. Desmond. Session One. So, how are you feeling today, Mr. Desmond? 

Alvin: (With a voice identical to that of Albert Desmond’s) Well, I don’t plan on giving this place any five-star recommendations. It’s much too drafty here. Although the lack of regular beatings is a definite plus. 

Hugo Strange: (Concerned) Regular beatings? Are you alleging that Iron Heights Penitentiary engages in routine abuse of its prisoners? 

Alvin: Basically only in the metahuman wing, and only since the new warden took over, but yeah. Anyone with superpowers gets a one-way ticket to the Pipeline.  

Hugo Strange: The Pipeline? 

Alvin: Oh, that’s what our beloved Warden Wolfe calls the metahuman wing. Or the metahuman basement, depending on which way you look at it.

Hugo Strange: How exactly are metahumans classified at Iron Heights, Mr. Desmond? 

Alvin: I’m not sure. I’ve always had a fascination with chemistry, but brother Albert is the one with the degrees in biochemistry and molecular biology. The scientific basis for the classification system goes over my head. So far as I can tell, anybody with natural powers is considered a metahuman and gets sent to the Pipeline. No exceptions. The only metahuman I can think of who isn’t sent straight down there is that freak the Top, and that’s only because he has a record of crazy spells and attempted suicides as long as my arm. (Pause) What does the Golden Glider see in that lunatic, anyhow? Sure, they say power is an aphrodisiac, but I have even more power than he does, and she wouldn’t look twice at me, even when she thought he was dead! And I went through the effort of turning her underwear into gold and everything! 

Hugo Strange: Perhaps she finds the idea of a man who does not think that she should fall for him simply because he is powerful to be more attractive than the idea of a man who transmutes her undergarments without permission? 

Alvin: (Skeptical) Maybe so. (Pause) But I guess we’re not here to talk about my unrequited crushes. You’re interested in the Pipeline, right? 

Hugo Strange: I am interested in your mental well-being, Mr. Desmond. Your descriptions of the Pipeline simply make me concerned that it is affecting your mental health. 

Alvin: Personally, I’d think it’s affecting my physical health more than anything. The beatings the Pipeline guards give you hurt like the dickens…and sessions with Warden Wolfe are even worse. I don’t know how he does it, but every time I have a ‘conversation’ with him, I come out of it feeling like I’ve just run a marathon. The muscle cramps are just awful, and I swear they last for days. (Pause) But all things considered, it’s not much more than a minor inconvenience. 

Hugo Strange: How so? 

Alvin: You’ve met Brother Albert, haven’t you? 

Hugo Strange: If you’re referring to the unfortunate Dr. Desmond, yes, I have. 

Alvin: Then you should know about how hard we are to contain. 

Hugo Strange: (Alarmed) You have a resistance to the metahuman power dampeners as well? 

Alvin: Brother Albert and I share all of the rest of our powers in common. Why would that one be any different? 

Hugo Strange: Would I be correct to assume that the reason you see the beatings you receive in the Pipeline as a minor inconvenience is because you are never in Iron Heights for more than a few days? 

Alvin: Yes, you would. You see, it usually only takes a few days at most for the power dampeners they put on me to fail. Brother Albert and I simply have too much power. In effect, our bodies overload the dampeners. And once they fail, it’s easy for me to escape, what with the vast powers I have at my disposal. In fact, I’ve never been locked away for more than a week. (Pause) In speaking of Brother Albert, how is he doing? I know he’s locked up here, too, and I do worry about my beloved astral twin. 

Hugo Strange: I’m afraid Dr. Desmond is not doing especially well at present. When he learned that one of his alters came to the front and turned an entire baseball stadium’s worth of people into tungsten, he was devastated, and I haven’t been able to make contact with him since.

Alvin: (Laughs) They arrested Brother Albert for that? 

Hugo Strange: Yes. Dr. Alchemy was seen attacking a baseball stadium, and when your city’s costume vigilante subsequently tracked down Dr. Desmond, his unpleasant alter was indeed at the fore. The logical assumption was that he had committed the crime, so he was arrested and sent to Arkham, pending his trial. 

Alvin: (Obviously amused) Oh, this is priceless! They got the wrong Dr. Alchemy again! 

Hugo Strange: What do you mean, Mr. Desmond? 

Alvin: I mean that I was the Dr. Alchemy who turned the baseball stadium into tungsten! (Pause) It really is convenient that Brother Albert is so much more well known than I am. You have no idea how many of my crimes his alters take the blame for. 

Hugo Strange: Are you saying that Dr. Desmond is completely innocent of the crime he was arrested for? 

Alvin: Yes. Brother Albert’s Dr. Alchemy may be dangerous, but all he really cares about is knowledge. Doing something showy like turning a stadium to tungsten isn’t really his style. It’s mine. I’m surprised the Flash didn’t catch onto that, really. (Pause) Although I had been laying low for a while before I pulled that particular crime. Having godlike power can be so exhausting sometimes. 

Hugo Strange: How long have you been letting Dr. Desmond take the fall for your crimes, Mr. Desmond?

Alvin: Since I first became Dr. Alchemy, of course. Why have an astral twin with a criminal record and a known history of mental problems if you aren’t going to use him to cover up your crimes? 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Desmond, you must be aware that you and Dr. Desmond are not relatives, let alone twins. The idea is patently absurd. Why, the two of you don’t look a thing alike! 

Alvin: We aren’t physical twins, Doctor. We’re astral twins. We were born at exactly the same time, to parents with very similar names, and because of this, we’ve shared a psychic connection to one another since we were children. Whenever Brother Albert is good, I am evil, and whenever Brother Albert is evil, I am…well, not good, necessarily, but not actively criminal. 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Desmond, you are not the brother of Dr. Desmond. The fact that you share the same last name and some other superficial similarities does not mean that you are his “astral twin”. It is simply a coincidence. 

Alvin: Then how do you explain the fact that we both have exactly the same powerset? Or the fact that the Philosopher’s Stone follows us, and only us, around? Or the fact that our voices are identical? 

Hugo Strange: There are many villains who have super strength or the ability to fly. Do you propose that all of them are astrally related to one another? 

Alvin: No. Astral twins are remarkably rare, Doctor. In fact, Brother Albert and I may be the only pair on Earth. (Pause) Perhaps it is a reflection of our godlike powers. If we were to team up, we could easily conquer the world. It could be that we were astrally linked simply to prevent us from ever being able to work together. After all, if only one of us could truly be a criminal at a time, then we could never become a team. 

Hugo Strange: An interesting theory, Mr. Desmond. (Pause) I do have a question for you, though. 

Alvin: Oh, really? What is it? 

Hugo Strange: Why is it that all of the records state that there are no records of your existing prior to seven years ago, shortly before you first appeared as Dr. Alchemy? 

Alvin: (Laughs) You’ve got a good sense of humor, Doc. 

Hugo Strange: I am not joking, Mr. Desmond. There are simply no records of an Alvin Desmond existing at any point before you became Dr. Alchemy. People reported seeing you for a few months before that, but until you were arrested, there was no record of a man with your name, appearance, and fingerprints anywhere. 

Alvin: (Uncomfortable) What are you talking about? Of course there are records of me! Alvin Desmond, born in Tampa, Florida, to Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Desmond? 

Hugo Strange: If you don’t believe me, see for yourself. (Hugo Strange hands file to Alvin, who flips through it) 

Alvin: (In a small voice) Why aren’t there any records of me? 

Hugo Strange: (Surprised)  You didn’t know?

Alvin: Of course I didn’t know! I have memories of living a full life! I remember my parents; I remember going to school! There have to be records of that somewhere! 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Desmond, do you mean to tell me that you didn’t have someone erase your records? 

Alvin: No! No, I didn’t! (Pause) Doctor…what’s going on? How can there be no records of me before I became Dr. Alchemy? I know I had a life before that! I remember it perfectly! 

Hugo Strange: I’m afraid that I don’t know what’s going on, either, Mr. Desmond. I have had other patients whose records have been partially erased, but I’ve never had a patient whose records were erased entirely without their knowledge. 

Alvin: Doctor, you…you’ve gotta help me! How can I have memories of things that aren’t in my files? I’m not crazy! I’m not! Brother Albert is the crazy one! 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Desmond, you must calm down! 

Alvin: Calm down? Calm down? My entire life apparently doesn’t exist, and you’re telling me to calm down? 

Hugo Strange: Mr. Desmond, I promise that I can help you…but only if you cooperate with me. Please calm down! 

(Long pause) 

Alvin: All right. I’ll cooperate. I think it’s time the two of us had a chat with Brother Albert. If anyone knows what’s going on here, it’ll be him. (Pause) Assuming we can get him to come out, that is.

Hugo Strange: Something that would be much easier to do if you hadn’t framed him for the crime you committed, Mr. Desmond. 

Alvin: You can’t blame me for that, Doctor. I’m an evil twin! Messing with Brother Albert is simply in my nature. 

Hugo Strange: And how would you know that, Mr. Desmond? You’re no longer even sure what your nature is.