Pairing: Rose/Draco, past Rose/Scorpius, current Scorpius/Albus Fest:Fuck. His. Dad. Length:30k Avg Reading Time: 2 hrs, 40 min Rating:Explicit Genre: Cracky smut, Family fluff, Fainting couch drama Fun Tags: The Horniest POV, First time sex, Enthusiastic sex, Weasley cousin shenanigans, Sex auction, Sex-positive grandma, Accidental Voyeurism, Non-pairing proposal and wedding, Rare Magical Pet Acquisition, Big family feels, Wedding shenanigans, Sex lore you didn’t know you wanted Squick Tags: Age difference, Maternal disapproval, Intended pregnancies
Summary:
Problem: I’m a twenty-four year-old academic prodigy, but I’d trade my diplomas for a good, hard fuck. Since that’s not a real thing I can do, I guess I’ll pack up my dildo collection and go to the States for this doctoral program. If I can raise the money for tuition. Solution: Virginity: the original NFT. Non-Fuckable Token. Assuming someone will pay for it. Spoiler: Someone did. Handsomely. And repeatedly. And then I stole his cat. – “It was that good?” Albus is close to squealing with excitement. I take a deep breath. “Promise you won’t tell?” “Cross my heart.” He settles in to wait for the story of how I, Rosalind Jean Weasley-Granger sold my virginity for a small kingdom. I take a deep breath and prepare to weave a filthy tale.
This story is HILARIOUS! If you’ve enjoyed sassy Rose in my Draco/Rose fic, Incandescence, then please go read this fic! It’s funny, it’s sassy, it’s sweet, it’s sexy, it’s so many things all at once and all of it exceptionally well-written.
The handsome square stems of Lamium orvala (balm-leaved red deadnettle, balm-leaved archangel, dragon flower, Hungary deadnettle) carry pairs of dark, pointed, strongly-veined leaves, beneath each pair is a whorl of pink flowers. This herbaceous perennial fits in with a range of other spring flowering plants, here associated with Myosotis sylvatica (forget-me-not) and Paeonia dauricasubsp.mlokosewitschii (Molly the witch).
