#dreamblogging

[nightmareblogging—sibling death cw]

wow i had a really and truly awful dream just now where some sort of terrible unspecified large-scale disaster had happened and Baby Sister had gotten—killed or possibly ““just”” braindead?? unclear—and i had to call a hospital—or possibly morgue, that also wasn’t clear—and tell them her birth date and find this out over the phone, and literally the dream ended with the nurse(?) confirming this to me, in the brusque not-really-sympathetic way cranky overworked nurses often have, because i’m pretty sure i distressed myself so much i woke myself up??? just like. immediate gasping surfacing out of full deep sleep, heart racing, sweats, etc. writing this out to put some distance between me and the very viscerally immediate emotional experience of it bc wow that was. extremely extremely distressing!!! god. might actually be the worst thing that could happen to me. anyway. really very sincerely sucked, terrible dream, F minus minus, would NOT order again. package-contained-bobcat-xkcd-strip.gif. god. full-body wet-dog-shaking-itself-off shudder.