#el james
reader throws self out of a window screaming… maybe
why are you a best seller???
this is an actual quote?? WTF
This is nothing compared to her other descriptions.
fresh-noise:
“Or something? OR SOMETHING?!?! When describing the dripping, mellifluous voice of a delectable gentleman, you don’t finish your statement with “OR SOMETHING” because then you sound like a teenage girl writing in her DIARY. Which is what 50 Shades is. Its E.L. James’ DIARY about what she WISHES would happen to her… you know, aside from the fact that if this DID happen to her, she probably would freak the fuck out and start complaining about how “it hurts” and “stop treating me like a piece of meat” and he’ll be like THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DERRANGED WOMAN.Also, if someone’s voice sounded like “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” (too many food words, btw. you sound like a fat kid fantasizing about cake) I’d say it sounded annoying and sickly sweet. If I heard someone’s vocie, and the only way I could describe it would be “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” it would be a clogged, nasaly voice, like someone who had just consumed a vast amount of “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” and lived to tell about it. They would sound fat and slow to me, not smooth and delicious. Now, if someone’s voice was smooth and delicious, I’d say something like:
“His voice caressed my ear like fine satin, it flowed and dripped like honey, sweet and sparklingly golden. When he spoke, I was floating on the clouds of his sweet melody, and I knew that I was completely in his power.”
And never… NEVER… end a description with “…or something” you sound like Kristen FUCKING Stewart. Get your goddamned words straight and come out with what you’re trying to say. —C
I tend to do a little ranting from time to time, but, in this case, my reader already did it for me. Reblogging this because first I laughed, then I found myself nodding in agreement. She’s absolutely right…
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Fifty Shades of Grey has its official director, and surprising yet fittingly, its a female! Sam Taylor-Johnson, a respected director who is most well known for her Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy and her marriage to much younger Aaron Taylor-Johnson. This seemingly credible choice of director has definitely got me more interested in this movie…
For more news on Fifty Shades of Grey listen to Memoirs of a Fangirl Podcast
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So, two Belgian professors put Fifty Shades of Grey (library copy) through toxicology screenings, and found that it tested positive for the herpes virus. At first, I thought the article was a metaphor, and thought to myself, yes, yes, literary herpes indeed. But, actually, it’s literal herpes, too.
