#50 shades of grey
I said Come here.
It all started with the spontaneous ride on his Harley
Wanna see his BIG D energy follow my https://twitter.com/boujeeassnigga1 to see his Dick & other guys Dick & booties too
Grab your waist pull you close slap your ass and ram you hard just like a little slut
Let me devour you
reader throws self out of a window screaming… maybe
why are you a best seller???
this is an actual quote?? WTF
This is nothing compared to her other descriptions.
fresh-noise:
“Or something? OR SOMETHING?!?! When describing the dripping, mellifluous voice of a delectable gentleman, you don’t finish your statement with “OR SOMETHING” because then you sound like a teenage girl writing in her DIARY. Which is what 50 Shades is. Its E.L. James’ DIARY about what she WISHES would happen to her… you know, aside from the fact that if this DID happen to her, she probably would freak the fuck out and start complaining about how “it hurts” and “stop treating me like a piece of meat” and he’ll be like THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DERRANGED WOMAN.Also, if someone’s voice sounded like “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” (too many food words, btw. you sound like a fat kid fantasizing about cake) I’d say it sounded annoying and sickly sweet. If I heard someone’s vocie, and the only way I could describe it would be “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” it would be a clogged, nasaly voice, like someone who had just consumed a vast amount of “dark melted chocolate fudge caramel” and lived to tell about it. They would sound fat and slow to me, not smooth and delicious. Now, if someone’s voice was smooth and delicious, I’d say something like:
“His voice caressed my ear like fine satin, it flowed and dripped like honey, sweet and sparklingly golden. When he spoke, I was floating on the clouds of his sweet melody, and I knew that I was completely in his power.”
And never… NEVER… end a description with “…or something” you sound like Kristen FUCKING Stewart. Get your goddamned words straight and come out with what you’re trying to say. —C
I tend to do a little ranting from time to time, but, in this case, my reader already did it for me. Reblogging this because first I laughed, then I found myself nodding in agreement. She’s absolutely right…
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To call Christian Grey a “protagonist” when referring to ‘50 Shades of Grey’ and 'Grey’, which is the same story but through his eyes, is disgusting to say the least.
Happy Friday, Bookworms! Here’s what the team at Simon & Schuster Canada is reading.
Andrea, Digital Marketing Associate: I’m currently re-reading Kim Harrison’s The Drafter before I dig into the second book in the series, The Operator. I love any story line that involves time travel, and Peri Reed is the epitome of strong kick-ass female protagonist that readers all love and need. I’m falling in love with these characters all over again and am picking up on details I missed the first time around. Bonus: the prequel novella Sideswiped is included in the mass market paperback (which I had previously not read).
Siobhan, Editorial: I’ve stepped beyond my normal reading horizon and have been reading Jasper Forde’s dystopian novel, Shades of Grey—and no, it’s nothing like Fifty Shades ofGrey. It’s a fun and highly weird tale set in a futuristic world where all aspects of society are ruled by the colours you can and cannot see. I’ve only just dipped in, but it’s been a treat so far!
Jordyn, Sales Operations Assistant: I just finished The Hating Game, by Sally Thorne, which is a steamy romance novel featuring two coworkers who totally hate each other. It’s hard to find a good love/hate relationship book because the transition from hating to dating can be easily unbelievable. This book, however, totally nails it! I love the intensity between Lucy and Josh, and while the sexy stuff is slow-burning, there are quite a few lines in there that make you pause and say “daaaaamn”. I’m not going to lie; I had to take a water break at a couple points. Highly recommend!
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