#enabling

This is the difference between an asshole and an abuser.

An asshole won’t hide what they do. They’re proud of it. “Hell yeah, I said/ did that! And there’s not problem with it!”

An abuser does hide. They are aware it’s not acceptable and makes them look bad, so they make sure it’s hidden. “I didn’t do that. It’s not my fault. It wasn’t that bad anyways. I’m not perfect.”

And you know who actually feels regret for what they did, because they are embarrassed and will work on their actions. They can apologize and show humility.

Abusers show no regret, beyond maybe some fake tears and hollow apologies. But they’re not working on their flaws, they’re only working to cover them up.