#famous last words

death (upright): endings, destruction, change

Our recently revived dimwitted werewolf barbarian upon seeing his passed out, 0 HP embodied mouther warlock girlfriend twisted up on the ground mid-battle

We’re playing a campaign where my brother in law is the DM, my then-husband is a dragonborn paladin (maybe? It’s been a while.), I’m a stormborn drow who typically is in the WORST of moods, and also in our party are a Druid, a half elf rogue, and a warlock. The DM jus put us through our paces in a dungeon, and the final blow was the Dragonborn going apeshit and beheading the remaining enemies with one stroke. Keep in mind, during this exchange, my ex husband is on his phone.

DM: Congratulations, you cleared the dungeon. The floor is littered with the headless corpses of your enemies, their skulls roll across the ground and stop in various places around the room, mouths agape—

Me, OOC: SKULL SOCCER!

DM: What the f—okay, then. Roll for luck.

Me: What?

DM: YOU decided to be a dumbass. Roll. For. Luck.

Me: -nat 1 luck roll-

DM: You, in an uncharacteristic fit of whimsy, punt a skull that has landed before you. The skull you kicked ricochets off the walls wildly. The others, being of present mind, duck. The Dragonborn, distracted, does not duck in time and takes a direct hit to the face. Dragonborn, roll for damage.

Dragonborn: Aw, WHAT?

DM: Roll. For. Damage.

Dragonborn: -rolls an 8-

DM: Dragonborn loses a tooth. He now speaks with an unfortunate lisp for the remainder of the campaign.

Dragonborn: Thisth sthuckths assth.

Later in the campaign, we encounter a wizard who gives us three wishes. I immediately wish for the Dragonborn to have his tooth returned. The wish is granted, but the wizard is not what he seems and we end up killing him, which reverses all the magic done, light and dark.

The Dragonborn’s tooth falls out of his head and onto the ground, then disappears.

Dragonborn: Thisth sthuckths more, sthomehow.

-My 3 int druid, despite protests from the other player. For reference, the nut was the size of an apple.

Kenku Bard: I put the plate in the filing cabinet.

DM: Alright. You hear a voice saying ‘You win!’ and you’re annihilated from existence. Roll a new character.

classically-lit-memes4u:

RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods

“I have tried so hard to do right.”

Grover Cleveland

yourplayersaidwhat:

““In hindsight, maybe picking the orb off the charred corpse without checking first wasn’t the best idea.””

— - the Cleric, after having picked up an orb that promptly blew up them and the Rogue, killing both and turning them into Ghosts.

A small animation of SCREAMING Gerard Way from Famous Last Words because I feel like this

Famous Last Words! ⚔️

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