Honor & Dreams: A Zack Fair Fanzine consists of over 20 illustrations and 7 written works centered around The Compilation of Final Fantasy VII’s Zack Fair. This zine is SFW and contains no romantic pairings.
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Summary: Upon seeing one of the SOLDIERs receiving a package from home, Zack finds himself reminiscing about home and family with a few fresh-faced Third-Class SOLDIERs.
A rare crowd had gathered in the SOLDIER mess hall. Rare, because most SOLDIERs had been sent out to the fields on one mission or another. Zack himself had only returned from one such mission, dealing with skirmishes from local beasts that had been terrorizing a mining town on the outskirts of the continent. Not what one might expect a First-Class SOLDIER to be sent on, but they were short on SOLDIER operatives due to the mass desertion. The fresh-faced Thirds now sitting in a circle in front of him listened to his exploits in rapt attention, until Zack noticed their awed expressions and cleared his throat self-consciously.
“Anyway, what’s this?” he asked, referring to the open box sitting between them. He spied stacks of greens and fresh, plump fruits. Flint, the Third sitting in the middle, said they were from his folks—farmers in a small, forgotten village up in the mountains to the south. Indeed, lying on the table beside it was a note with barely intelligible writing:
We hope this reaches you safely, Flint. Do send word from time to time. We keep you in our hearts. Love, Mom & Dad.
An unmistakable twinge of pain shot through Zack’s heart.
“They’re such worrywarts,” Flint went on. “If they’re not worried about how I’m faring, they’re worried about what I’m eating.” He gave a light-hearted scoff, as if to hide the red tinge on his cheeks. “As if Midgar doesn’t already have everything that we need.”
Despite the clip in his words, Flint gazed at his package with a fondness that spoke of his affection for his family. His friends nudged his shoulders, saying that was what families did: embarrass them until they wouldn’t be embarrassed anymore. Everyone laughed.
“You’re lucky you still get packages,” the SOLDIER on Flint’s left, Soren, said. “My folks live on the other side of the strait, and shipping is costly.”
“My folks live in Kalm and they’ve only ever sent letters—if ever,” the other guy—Luca, if Zack remembered correctly—said. “Sometimes I wonder if they even remember they have a son living out here.”
“I’d prefer letters to be honest. How the hell could I finish all of these? Do you suppose the cook would let me use his fridge?”
It was a moment before Zack realized Flint had directed the question at him, when silence fell and three pairs of eyes turned toward him. Zack didn’t know. He’d never asked, nor had anything fresh enough to be kept in a refrigerator. But a thought had lodged itself into his mind:
“You’re all from the country, then?”
They nodded.
“I wouldn’t say Kalm counts as ‘country’ though,” Soren said, a playful jibe that earned him a playful smack on the head from his friend.
Zack wouldn’t say it was rare, but it was definitely not as many as the Midgar-born-and-bred. A ratio of 1:10, he would say. Fame and fortune were the usual reasons. No few amount of people from across the Planet had been enticed when news of the vaunted Sephiroth reached their ears. Zack was no exception. Neither were these three. Soren chased after a dream while Luca wanted to escape his family and prove his worth. Flint, however, only wanted to earn enough so he could send some back to his family.
“It didn’t have to be SOLDIER, to be perfectly honest,” he said. “I’d do anything as long as it’s honest work. But then I got scouted so I thought, why not. No harm in trying. If I got in, I’d have more than enough to last me a lifetime. If I don’t, well there’re still other job opportunities in Midgar.”
“What about you, Zack?” Soren asked. “Why did you join SOLDIER?”
Zack suddenly found himself under the scrutiny of their sparkling eyes, and for a moment, he felt the urge to laugh. “Why, huh?” He paused, finger playing against the rim of his glass. It seemed so long ago now—that day he decided to leave his hometown. “I was chasing after a dream,” he said. “I wanted to be a hero.”
“A hero?”
“You ever heard of Gongaga—backwater village in the middle of nowhere? Not much to do, not much to see, not much of a surprise for a thirteen-year-old to want something more in life.” He grinned. “Not a very noble reason if you think about it, but I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that way.”
Their nods proved his point, but that fact only bolstered his apprehension. How their dreams would shatter if they were to learn the nature of their work… Zack didn’t even understand how he managed to stay sane after all the happenings and upheavals ever since his promotion to First-Class—no, even before it. Living by a code he’d inherited, only to find it’d become increasingly difficult to uphold it. He’d lost sight of his dreams, and sometimes, he wondered if his parents had been right and he should have stayed and helped them farm.
“Do you miss it, Zack?” Flint asked. “Gongaga.”
“The smoldering heat, definitely not,” he replied, inviting quick laughs from his audience. “But it does have a beautiful waterfall, and once in a while, everyone would gather and make this huge pot of stew. Many of the older kids left to find jobs elsewhere, so after a while, it was up to me to watch over the little ones. Not that I minded, though.”
“And what about your family? Do you still talk to them?”
“Family…” Zack’s gaze found purchase on the box, where a particularly juicy-looking tangerine caught his eyes. Back in Gongaga, he used to climb trees and snack their fruit as he watched the sun set behind the cliffs. “I haven’t yet.”
“Why?”
Why, indeed. It had been four years since he left, four years without any word on where he was or what he was doing. For fear of disappointing them, he’d meant to write after he passed the SOLDIER exam. But then came the grueling training, and juggling tasks, and dealing with difficult seniors. Not to mention missions day in and day out with barely enough time off in-between for even a breath of fresh air. Being a country boy hadn’t been easy in a system clearly meant to benefit the city elites. And yet it was those same elites that corrupted the very veins of this company.
Zack had left without note, like a thief sneaking away in the middle of the night. Not because his parents had been against his dreams, no. They just hadn’t understood—this urge to do something better, something bigger, to bring fame and honor back to his home and family. Just imagine: his name reported and regaled in news outlets as a hero of the ages. How proud they would’ve been of him.
“I wonder how they’ll react…” Zack said at last. The Thirds waited, but it was clear whatever Zack wanted to say next died in the silence.
“Wouldn’t they be proud?” Flint said. “I mean, you’re one of the youngest to be accepted in the SOLDIER program, one of the youngest to rise to First-Class! To top it off, you’re not from Midgar. You’re an inspiration, Zack—an inspiration to all of us, that even we can achieve big things if we put our minds to it.”
Flint wasn’t alone in his fervor. Both Soren and Luca on either side of him leaned in and gave vigorous nods of their heads. It startled Zack. Though perhaps it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise, judging from how passionate other certain individuals always seemed talking to him. Zack gave them a thin smile.
“Well then, guess you have your work cut out for you.” He downed the last of his water, then slid off his chair and stretched his arms high. He should get some rest before his PHS rang with another mission waiting for him. “Here’s to a bright future for the three of you.”
Summary: After two years, Cloud is finally back in Nibelheim, but failing the SOLDIER exam has him hide his identity from the townspeople. As he leaves his mother’s home, the water tower stands imposing in front of him, reminding him or a promise he once made—a promise he now wonders how he could keep.
Note: A piece I wrote for @theclotizine! I also wrote a prequel of sort for this fic titled As Long As You’re Safe that explores how Zack accompanies Cloud to visit his mother. You can find it here.
The stars hung low that night, a myriad of white spreading as far as the eye could see, blinking against the blue-black vastness. Cloud stepped out of his house and drew a lungful of the cool evening air: pine, mixed with a distant hint of rain, rolled down the mountain. He was home.
“Thanks for having me, Mrs. Strife.”
Zack’s voice drifted out from inside. Cloud had invited his friend over to try his mother’s cooking. It was an excuse; Zack probably knew. His mother had sent him off with such zeal that when Cloud failed his SOLDIER exam, he hadn’t had the courage to put pen on paper and inform his mother of the results. Letting her think he’d made it big in Midgar had sounded like the better option. A misconception on his part—one he’d realized after seeing the panic in his mother’s sky-blue eyes when Zack knocked on her door and mentioned Cloud’s name.
Their voices grew louder as Zack stepped over the threshold and joined his side. Cloud’s mother followed closely behind, chuckling and asking Zack to come visit again. Zack promised that he would. He gave her a quick bow, then nudged Cloud on his shoulder. Take your time, his eyes seemed to speak. Cloud didn’t get the chance to respond before his friend crossed the village toward the inn.
“Great friend you found there,” his mother commented once Zack was out of earshot.
Cloud fastened his helmet over his head and turned around to face her. Claudia Strife had been all smiles and laughter throughout dinner, talking about everything and anything with an overabundance of joy that had felt almost palpable. Even Zack had been swept up in her enthusiasm. Yet now, a quiet melancholy overshadowed that elation, reminding Cloud of how she’d embraced him tight and whispered, it’s been two years.
“Have you met everyone else?” she asked. “What about Tifa? I think she was asking about you.”
His fingers twitched at the question. No one would want to see him—a nobody kid like him with no friends. Just one of the boys who’d gone looking for a job and never came back. Not like Tifa. Everyone adored Tifa. While he was floundering in Midgar, she’d learned martial arts and become the village’s best guide. Lovely, friendly, hardworking—even his company had appreciated her efforts for keeping them safe throughout their journey to the reactor. Tifa wouldn’t want to see him.
A gentle squeeze to his shoulder brought his eyes to his mother. His heart clenched at her tender smile. She’ll understand, she seemed to say. A lump formed at the back of Cloud’s throat.
He waved goodbye and headed back to the inn. But when the door clicked shut and with his mother out of sight, his purposeful stride gradually ground to a halt. The water tower stood imposing in front of him, with its proud wooden beams and the ladder leading to the top. He’d sat there before on a cool night like tonight, legs swinging down from the ledge, as he’d waited for the girl with ebony hair and ruby eyes to appear.
When we’re older, and you’re a famous SOLDIER… if I’m ever trapped or in trouble… promise you’ll come and save me.
Back when the dream of becoming a SOLDIER was still within reach. Back when he had easily agreed to a lofty promise he now wondered how he could keep.
Cloud pursed his lips to a thin line. He dropped his gaze, then made to move, but as he did, a shuffling of feet drew his attention to the other side of the water tower. Cloud spotted a shadow leaning against the beams—a shadow he recognized so well. Tifa stood with her back to him, her round-brimmed hat hung from her neck down her back, kicking her boot against the dirt as she gazed at the star-strewn sky.
Cloud froze. The last time he saw her had been at the reactor, barring her way as she’d tried to enter. She’d huffed and pouted with hands on her hips, and Cloud had wanted to laugh at the familiar sight. But he’d stood his ground, then stood in front of her as hordes of monsters came their way. He’d meant to protect her, to act the hero, but in a twist that had only deepened his sense of failure, she had ended up protecting him.
Tifa pushed herself off the beams, jerking Cloud to attention. He should have moved—looked away before Tifa noticed him—but just as she rounded the tower and stepped out of its shadow, her eyes found his. Time slowed to a passing crawl. One moment, two… Under the moonlight, her ruby eyes widened, a small, relieved smile blossoming on her face.
“Figured it was you.” Tifa was suddenly in front of him.
Cloud blinked, startled. He took an involuntary step back.
“I was coming back from the inn and you weren’t there. Have you rested? Are you well now?”
Cloud should say something, anything, but if he spoke—
“Thanks.” Her smile grew, concern mingling with gratitude and a hint of shyness. “For protecting me.”
I’m sensing some issues here. Zack had told him that morning, after Cloud had woken up from his rest and his friend had asked about Tifa. Shouldn’t you do something?
He should, but what could he do? Cloud wasn’t the hero he had promised her he would be.
Tifa fidgeted on her feet, hands behind her back. A question seemed to brim behind her lips as she lifted a half-expectant gaze at Cloud. But when she opened her mouth, no voice came out.
“Nothing,” she said after a while, her lips parting into a weak crooked smile. She gave a little shake of her head, biting her lower lip as she cast her eyes down. Her shoulders shuddered under a faint scoff. “Zack doesn’t know him,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper. “You probably don’t either.”
Cloud drew his brows in confusion, but before he could ask what she meant, a door opened behind them. The unmistakable voice of Brian Lockhart rang out, calling for Tifa. She had to go.
“Well, glad to know you’re alright.” She turned to leave.
Wait—
“Nice talking with you.” Even though she was the one who had done all the talking.
Stop!
Her hat swayed like a pendulum behind her back. Farther and farther away she moved, his chance slipping out of his grasp. But before she disappeared—
“Hey!” He hoped his helmet masked his voice. Tifa looked back. Cloud gulped past the growing lump in his throat. “Thanks for helping me get down the mountain.”
The silence stretched for one second longer, then there it was—the smile that always made his heart skip a beat. Bright and warm, like the ones he would see when they were kids and their eyes made contact. Tifa gave a quick wave, then disappeared behind her door.
Cloud stood there, staring at the two-story building beside his house. It looked as enormous as he remembered it.
Shouldn’t you do something?
Cloud blinked back at the stars, exhaling a quiet sigh into the night. Easier said than done.
How are you? It’s me, Aerith. Sorry to send you a letter out of the blue. You haven’t been answering your PHS lately. Tseng said you’re busy, that your last assignment took you to the western continent and it’d be a while before you can return. So I figured I could send you letters instead. Mom said she used to do this with her husband when he went to the war. Isn’t it nice? Exchanging letters like the old couples in stories. Tseng also offered to personally send this to you, so I’m sure you’ll get this. Besides, I don’t have a PHS, and I’m not going to borrow the Turks’ all the time. I know they’ll want something in return for letting me use their stuff. Anyway, how is work? Knowing you, you’re probably doing a great job at it, right? How is it like there? I heard you went to the mountains? Is the air as nice and fresh as they say? I hope you can take some time off between your work to enjoy the scenery. I’m sure it’s beautiful. Maybe take a picture for me? I’d love to see the places you’ve been to. I’m fine here, by the way. So is Mom. Don’t worry about me okay and just focus on finishing your job. Take care, Zack. And stay safe.
Sincerely, Aerith
***
Dear Zack,
How are you? Are you still on the mountains? I still haven’t heard back from you yet. But no pressure! I know how busy you must be! I can wait hehe. In return, I hope you don’t mind me sending you all these letters. I hope they give you some sort of respite, no matter how small. The flowers bloomed especially brilliant today. I brought them around to decorate Leaf House and the community center. The elders all loved it. Are there any flowers blooming where you are, Zack? If there are, what kind? Our flower business is also gaining traction recently. More and more people come to visit our flower wagon. I have the kids to thank for that, I guess. They’ve been telling everyone that I’m on a mission to have flowers bloom all around Midgar. I hope everything is alright on your side, Zack. Stay safe.
Sincerely, Aerith
***
Dear Zack,
The Protection Squad is now well under way, and it seems it’s very well-received. Miss Livy from Leaf House (she’s the headteacher, if you don’t remember) said that since the orphanage operates thanks to everyone’s donations, it’s only right for them to return the favor. So the kids have been going around patrolling the areas. Yep, that’s what they call it. They run errands and help people. They’re really turning out more and more like you. Which is a nice thing, actually. Some almost went as far as to accompany me to the playground. Because of the monsters, they said. Someone needed to protect me while you’re away. I appreciated it of course, but I couldn’t let them actually meet monsters, could I? The teachers would kill me if the children had all gone so far to a different reactor. Playing with me at the church is one thing, but going to Sector 6? I would say I could protect them—and I could, mind you—and I always take the safest road there too, but when you have six children under your care then three flying beasts come at you… I’d rather not take that chance. Anyway, enough about me. How is it going for you, Zack? It’s been months since we last spoke. I hope everything’s alright there? Are you okay? Are you safe? I hope you get a lot of rest between your jobs. And meals. Some good healthy meals once in a while will do wonders. But I wonder if you can get those in the front lines. I would send you something, but… it’d probably go stale once it reaches you, I think. I pray for your safety, Zack.
Love, Aerith
***
Hi Zack,
Are you still busy? Tseng says you are. Sadly I don’t have anyone else to ask, so I guess he’s the only one I can trust. But sometimes, I wonder if he’s keeping things from me. Won’t be the first… won’t be the last either. You know, I had the most surprising guest today. Some girls visited me at the church, and from the accessories they were wearing, I think they’re your fan club. It’s funny to think you have a fan club. I’m not jealous, though! I just never thought SOLDIERs had fan clubs. I wonder if the other members have one too? That reminds me, I never asked how many of you there are, have I? It was nothing important though. They asked me if I knew you, and when I said I did, they asked what I thought of you. And if I had any messages for you. Weird, huh? It’s not like I can’t tell you that in person. Well, not now, maybe, but later when you come back. What’s weirder is that they all looked so somber. I wonder what happened… Hey, Zack. Did something happen? I… overheard something… They were talking and I heard… It’s not true, right? Tseng won’t tell me anything, let alone the other Turks. They only said that you’re fine. Just super busy that you barely have time to reply. And having bad reception. I can trust them, right? Please talk to me, Zack. I’ll wait for you, however long it takes.
Yours, Aerith
***
Zack…
I can’t stop thinking something might’ve happened to you. I don’t know who to trust. I don’t know who I can talk to. Tseng says you’re fine. People say you might’ve gone missing. I don’t even know if these letters are reaching you. Maybe Tseng’s been lying to me from the start. Maybe something happened to you that day I couldn’t reach you. Do you remember? That afternoon you called me all those months ago? You have no idea how happy that had made me feel. I was so afraid I’d been imposing on you when you’d been so busy at work, so when I received your call, my heart had almost burst! You told me that we could talk the next day, that I could call you if I wanted, and I did, but I couldn’t reach… Zack, where are you? Tell me you’re alright. Please.
***
Dear Zack,
I’m sorry for being so emotional in my last letter. I asked Tseng to give the letter back, but he said he’d already sent it to you. I’m not sure if I believe him now. I had another surprise guest today. A friend of yours. He said his name was Kunsel. Actually, he’s been visiting me for a while now. Kind of regularly. Checking up on me, he said. On your behalf. That’s sweet. You have such sweet friends. We talked, then took a walk outside. The weather was really nice this morning. I remember you talking about him a few times, but I didn’t realize you were so close. Friends since your early SOLDIER days, he said. I'm… I’m holding onto hope, Zack. I know you’re out there. Somewhere. I don’t believe what they say. I don’t believe what Tseng says. I only believe that you’re still alive somewhere. So I’ll be here. Always.
Forever yours, Aerith
***
Dear Zack,
I spotted wildflowers today. Just outside Sector 5. Funny, I never noticed them before. I never thought flowers grow anywhere outside the church, or my garden. I stared at them for so long, the people who saw me asked if I was alright. I was fine, of course. Mostly. I miss you, Zack. I wonder if this is the Planet’s way of telling me you’re alive somewhere. You know how wildflowers are, right? They’re small, but no matter how much people trample them, no matter how much the weather beats them down, they always persist. They endure, and survive, and I know that you’re going to pull through whatever ordeal you’re going through right now. I believe in you, Zack. I’m sending a pressed flower I did of one of them. They’re not much, but I hope they give you strength. I… don’t know if these are going to reach you, but I hope the Planet hears my pleas and sends my prayers to you.
Sending you all my love, Aerith
***
Dear Zack,
The sky was really bright today. I find myself looking at it more and more now. You’re right. It’s not as scary as I thought. I told you the reason I’m scared of it, but that’s not all there is. I never did tell you about my mom, did I? Not Elmyra. My other mom. My real mom… She died when I was young, before Elmyra took me in. She died, and I saw her rise to the sky. As if it was sucking her in. I… never saw the sky growing up. You’d think that’s why I fear it. But on the contrary, listening to Mom’s tales about the outside world, seeing the big, open blue depicted in picture books… I couldn’t help but be curious. But then Mom died, and the sky sucked her in. But I’m alright now. I think. Mostly. Because… I need to see if it’d sucked you in too. I want to know if you’re still here.
Aerith
***
Dear Zack…
Lately, it feels like I’m just talking to myself here, with these letters. I don’t know why I’m still writing these. They’re probably not reaching you anyway. I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Maybe it’s become a habit by now. Maybe writing to you gives me some sort of solace, some sort of notion that you’re still here. That you’re not gone and I can still see you. I had a dream. You were standing at the edge of a precipice in a landscape of white. It was warm and cold. I tried calling for you, but my voice wouldn’t come out. I chased after you, but the distance between us only grew. Is it my fault, somehow? Were you not supposed to have met me? The Planet is not answering my prayers and even in my dreams, you refused to see me. I hate this. I don’t want this. You’re still out there, I know it, but my heart grows heavy with each passing day. I didn’t realize waiting was so hard. I wonder how Mom endured it, standing on that train platform all day everyday, hoping against hope that her husband would return. Give me strength, Zack. I want to see you. I want to wait for you. I want to believe you’ll come back. I don’t want to lose you.
***
Zack…
Where are you?
Come home
***
Dear Zack…
I feel like I should apologize. We promised to sell the flowers under the sky together, but this morning, I braved myself to take the train to the upper plate. It was daunting, to say the least. But I know what you mean now. The sky really opens up when you don’t have steel plates covering it. It's… really not scary at all. Though I’d be lying if I didn’t keep my head down half of the time. But it’s a step forward, right? Now I can look up at the sky even if I don’t have you with me… It’s really beautiful, Zack. I wish you could see it with me.
All Zack ever gave Aerith were promises. The first was the promise of a date, the first time he met her when he dropped out of the sky and onto her flowerbed. The second was to show her the sky, because it wasn’t as scary as she thought, and he wanted her to see it. Then he bought her a ribbon and said they should make fun, little promises for when they next met.
“For example, when we meet, you always have to dress in pink.”
Aerith giggled and said that was silly, and it was, but it’d be fun. So she nodded and said okay and wondered what kind of pink dress she had that she could wear.
Then just before he left for Nibelheim, they went to the Sector 6 playground to sell flowers. Operation: Midgar Full of Flowers, Wallet Full of Money seemed to have a good start. The blooms were a big hit. One woman wished she could see them grow all around the slums.
“Yeah, that’s me and Aerith’s dream,” Zack said. “Not just the slums, either. We want to fill the whole of Midgar with flowers!”
Only a dream then, one he hoped would come true once he returned to Midgar, when he could finally take her to the city above and sell flowers under the sky together.
***
Zack sighed at the heavens above as he lay on his back. Thin wisps of cotton-soft clouds drifted past; though, did anyone really know whether clouds were cotton-soft? An age-old imagery that originated from how it looked from the ground, made by people who had too much time on their hands with too little thoughts in their minds.
Zack had too much time on his hands now. With Sephiroth having locked himself in the mansion’s library and still no lead on their investigation, there had been nothing to do but check on the reactor every day. Everything stayed the same. The monsters still slept in their pods, no more reactor malfunctioning, no more signs of Genesis—or any other intruders for that matter.
Cloud would grab any chance he could get to accompany Zack. Probably to escape the town and its people. Probably to be near their ebony-haired guide. He couldn’t blame the guy, and he had no intention to interfere, but sometimes, Zack would look at his stubborn younger friend and wish Cloud would let loose and show them who he really was. Not a SOLDIER, but still a proud member of Shinra’s infantrymen. They’d understand.
When the time came to return to town, he let the two kids go on ahead, saying he wanted to explore more of the mountain. Tifa offered to come with him, but Zack refused. It was still light out. If he’d gotten lost, his SOLDIER pride would be at stake.
Zack had expected a chuckle at the very least, but his guide only stared at him and said, “Okay.” Then she looked at the grunt and nodded her head down the mountain path. “Shall we, then?”
Grunt Cloud jerked, and for a fraction of a second, his wild, panicked eyes met Zack’s through his helmet visor. Zack waited until Tifa had turned and walked away before he slapped Cloud on the back and whispered, “You got this.”
“I got this.” A self-reassuring nod; Cloud gripped his rifle tighter before following Tifa down the mountain. They walked with a little distance between them, but never too far apart. Zack watched, a little grin playing across his lips.
He’d set off in another direction then: a greener, more life-abundant direction; a contrast to the barren, jagged mountain he’d left behind. He’d found the clearing shortly after, with trees on one side and a sheer drop on the other. It overlooked the Nibel plains and the small town below with the clear blue sky stretching far into the horizon.
Fragments of a cloud broke away into little dots, collecting in places that, somehow, reminded him of the yellow blossoms he’d find growing under the shades of a dilapidated church. Thoughts of the blossoms led to thoughts of the flower girl, and Zack couldn’t help but draw another long breath.
It’d been a week since he arrived in Nibelheim, longer still since he last saw Aerith. The closest interaction he’d gotten was the phone call mere days after reaching the mountain village. His PHS had rung when he’d been about to go to the mansion, and it had taken him by surprise when her voice came out of the receiver. But he’d been too busy then, so he’d told her that he’d call later.
“No, no, you don’t have to.” There had been a slight drop to her tone.
He’d pressed his lips together. “Okay, then I’ll come visit.”
“I’ll be here.”
Zack hadn’t missed the momentary pause or the wistful sigh, hadn’t forgotten her downcast eyes when he told her he would leave Midgar for a job. There had been nothing else he could say but: “I’ll see you, I promise.” He could almost see her smile as he hung up, hoping it had been enough until he returned to her side.
The drifting clouds offered a brief respite from the sun’s harsh glare. Summer had long since gone and autumn was well on its way, but Zack still felt hot. Hot and restless and sweaty and wishing he was back under the cover of the church, where a ray of pleasant sunlight slanted in through the broken rooftop right onto her flowerbed. He’d doze on her lap, and Aerith would weave a flower crown to put around his head, and when he opened his eyes, he would see the brightest smile he had ever seen.
Zack reached for his PHS in his pocket. He had half a mind to go to his mails before he realized Aerith didn’t have a PHS. She’d borrowed Tseng’s when she called him before. Zack didn’t want to call Tseng. The last time he did, the Turk had chuckled and said that he was at work, that he had one of his men watching her and that she was safe. He would, however, send her Zack’s regards the next time he saw her. Zack’s mouth twitched at the memory.
What if he called her house? Elmyra probably wouldn’t mind. The last time he met her, she had acted like he was already part of the family. It made him smile and miss her homemade stew, miss the warmth of the kitchen and the vibrant colors in her garden, miss that motherly touch.
But as good as the idea sounded, it was still daylight and Aerith was probably not home. He stared at the open mail draft on his PHS screen, then typed in Kunsel’s name.
‘What are you doing?’
The reply came shortly after: ‘If you resorted to mail mein the middle of a mission, I can only imagine how bored you must be feeling right now. So let me tell you some good news, friend. I visited that church your Aerith frequented and I gotta say, she is such a lively fella. You have no idea all the little details she’d asked me of you.’
Zack jumped, glaring into his PHS screen as those last few words hammered their way into his head. He dialed Kunsel’s number. Kunsel immediately picked up.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?”
On the other side of the line, Kunsel cackled—a shoulder-shaking, back-bending, stomach-hurting cackle. “Gods, I can’t believe you fell for that one.”
Zack blinked, too mortified to catch up with the joke.
“I’m on a mission, if you remember—or maybe you don’t. Different from the one when you left for Nibelheim. With our Firsts out on a mission on the other side of the Planet, it seems the top brass has decided to have the rest of us—meaning us, Second-Class—take the lead on the remaining jobs. So I’ve been away, again. Far away from your lovely girl. So you have nothing to worry about.”
Another blink. Right.
“How’s the job anyway?”
A short pause, and maybe it was the easy-going tone of his voice that made Zack’s tongue loosen up and tell Kunsel about the current state of his investigation, the current state of Sephiroth, the current state of his restlessness. Then at the end of it, Kunsel chuckled.
“Even in the middle of a mission, you still got time to worry about your girl.” Zack heard a scoff, soft and amused. “She’s fine. Aren’t the Turks watching her?”
“They are…” But even knowing that, there was a disquiet in his heart that he couldn’t quite figure where it was coming from.
“Well, if it’s any help at all, I promised to check up on her, didn’t I? Once I get back from my assignment, I’ll see how she is. Does that ease you?”
It did, even if only a little.
“So just focus on your assignment right now and make sure you get your ass back in Midgar. Quick.” Then he added, “You know I have a whole folder of you sneezing out snot, right?”
“Kuns—!”
The line was cut. The last thing Zack heard was his friend’s laughter. It still echoed even when Zack had put his PHS down and stared at the screen, when he laid back on the sunny grass and covered his eyes with an arm. Maybe it was a bad idea to have Kunsel check on Aerith. Who knew what the guy would show her? All the embarrassing details of Zack’s life! But Kunsel was the only person Zack could trust in SOLDIER right now…
Zack let out another quiet exhale. He lifted his arm. The clouds drifting past looked uncannily like the girl with the brightest smile.
***
He called a little after dusk. Zack was alone in his room; Sephiroth was still not back; Cloud and the other grunt stood watch somewhere. A few moments passed with only the dial tone filling his ears. And then:
“Hello?”
The smile came unbidden. Like a dam about to burst, his lips wavered at the intensity of the emotions overcoming him—overwhelming him.
“Aerith?”
“Zack?” Her surprise was almost palpable. He could imagine her wide-eyed stare as she stood beneath the warm lights of her home. “This is a surprise. You’re not busy?”
“Aw, don’t you miss me?”
She giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound in the entire world. “Silly.”
They talked about everything and anything: what she was doing, how her days had been. “Same old, same old,” she said. Tending to her flowers, running errands around the slum, then just as she’d headed for the church, the Leaf House kids had crowded around her and asked where Zack was.
Zack chuckled. “And what’d you tell them?”
“That Zack is on a very important job right now, but he’ll be back very soon and give everyone presents.” Her laugh made him smile, and he imagined her sitting next to the pots and vases, swaying her feet and twirling her hair. He closed his eyes, committing it to memory.
“Hey, Aerith.”
“Yeah?”
When he made that promise to visit, Zack had thought they would finish their mission soon and he’d be back by Aerith’s side before she knew it. But it had been a week since then, and he was still stuck in a small mountain town with nothing to do but look for missing persons who refused to be found and wait on a stubborn comrade who refused to leave.
“Think I’d have to take a rain check on that promise. I don’t think I can come back soon.”
“Oh.” She paused. “Okay.” Then, because maybe she’d noticed the hesitancy in his voice: “Is there something wrong?”
“No, no, nothing wrong.” He was quick to answer, quick to ease her worry, even as his mind went to the mansion sitting on the town’s outskirts, where Sephiroth was still perusing the many thick volumes stored in the basement. The last time Zack had checked on him, he’d been unaware of Zack’s presence. It’d been like talking to a statue, if statues could walk and talk. Ceaseless mutterings; unending strides; then at times, Sephiroth would stop and look up, and Zack would sigh and thought, finally!Because the meal the townspeople had prepared still lay untouched on the table, and all of Zack’s attempts to tell him to rest had flown over his head. But like a man possessed, Sephiroth had only walked past without truly seeing him, then discarded the book in favor of another.
“Zack?”
Zack blinked, then said again, “Nothing’s wrong.” It was less convincing. “Anyway,” he went on, brightening his voice. “Did you really tell the kids I’d bring them presents?”
“Of course,” she said, her voice too chirpy, as though she’d noticed his unease and opted to play along with his act. “Well, you have to give them something, after all their efforts to learn your combat moves. They’re really taking this Protection Squad business seriously, you know.” She giggled, and he chuckled too.
The kids had been hounding him every time he took the trip beneath the plate. What was supposed to be a quality time with Aerith always ended up as sword-fighting lessons with a bunch of children. Not that he minded them. The more time Zack spent with them, the more endearing they all seemed to him.
“Then I’d better get them something really good.” He wondered if the store next door sold souvenirs. He could ask Cloud for advice. Or Tifa. “But don’t tell them yet. It’ll be a surprise.”
He could feel her smile as she said, “Sure thing.” In the distance, he heard Elmyra’s call. Aerith had to hang up. “Do you think we can talk again tomorrow?”
“Of course. I’ll call you. Or you can call me too, if you want.”
“Really? Then maybe I’ll do that.”
Zack’s lips parted into the slightest grin. “I’ll be here.” Another promise. Her goodbye was the last thing he heard before Aerith ended the call.
Summary: Zack visits the Sector 5 slums church with a mind to ask Aerith out on that date he promised, but when rambunctious kids are involved, nothing goes as he planned.
When Zack visited the church that day, he’d already had a mind where to take Aerith out. A date filled with excitement, he called it. He’d bring her to the Upper Plate as he’d promised. It’d be a surprise—one he planned not to tell until they boarded the train heading for Upper Midgar. He’d show her the cute cafes Kunsel told him about, then the flower shops that might interest her to invest more in her own business. They could visit boutiques, and he’d buy her all the dresses she wanted; threw in a couple of shoes and maybe a hat too. His SOLDIER salary could afford it. He’d checked. Then, they could go to the food plaza with those sweet, fluffy crepes with an overabundant of cream. They could even visit the theater at Sector 8, if that was more of her thing. But one thing he knew was that at the end of their date, he’d bring her to Midgar Tower—the highest commercial tower in all the metropolitan city, bar the Shinra building. With no other skyscrapers to block their view, he’d show her the sky, stretching as far as the eye could see.
She’d love it—he knew. So bright, so blue, so deep. It was the most beautiful place to witness it in the entire Midgar. So when Zack reached the Sector 5 slums church and pushed open the heavy double doors, his entire being brimming with enthusiasm—
A sharp jab to the center of his stomach; Zack doubled over, clutching his abdomen as tears sprang to his eyes. Gleeful squeals filled his ears. Kids, around six to eight years old, ran back down the aisle to the flower bed at the church’s other end, where Aerith sat next to a girl making crowns from her lilies.
“Oates!” she called, stern, but even from the distance, Zack could see her suppressed smile. “You don’t jab people on the stomach.”
The smaller of the two kids running from him skidded to a halt, mumbling “aww, shucks” or something of the like, though he didn’t look apologetic at all.
“Now go back and apologize to Zack.”
Zack remembered the kid now. He was the one who’d stolen Zack’s wallet the first time Zack was here. Oates, was it? He’d never gotten the kid’s name.
Oates reached his side a moment later and, eyes downcast, mumbled a half-hearted apology. Before Zack could say anything, however, the kid had rushed back to where his friends waited, leaving Zack staring after him. His mouth quirked up into a little amused smirk.
“Sorry, Zack,” Aerith said later when he reached her flowerbed. Brows drawn back; her face split into an apologetic smile. “You know how he gets.”
He knew. At least from their brief encounter before. Proud. Cocky. But with a good heart. Zack couldn’t help softening as he watched the boys wrestle.
“So.” He turned to Aerith, who offered him one of those bright, inquisitive looks. A soft little “hm?” that tugged at his heartstrings. Zack fought to contain his bursting emotions as he addressed the issue at hand. He nodded at the children playing at the church. “What’s all this?”
“Oh, Leaf House is having some renovations today, so the teachers asked me to watch over them for the time being.”
The explanation was short and simple, yet it was as though the sky—or, well, the steel sky here in the slums—had crashed down on him.
“Babysitting?”
She met his question with a giggle. “They’re not exactly babies, but, yes, something like that.”
There went his date-with-excitement plan out the window, ripped and blown into smithereens until not a speck of it remained. The tower… The sky…
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Zack shrugged. Well, what could he do if Aerith was already preoccupied? They could save that date for another time. Meanwhile… He sat down next to her, stretching his legs in front of him. A date at the church with a handful of kids in tow wasn’t bad either. Right?
Beside him, Aerith tilted her head to the side. Zack grinned, then noticed the loose hair coming out of her braid. He reached out and slipped it behind her ears. It had been a reflex—the way his hand moved. He only realized it when he spotted the blush coloring Aerith’s cheeks. Even the girl at the flowerbed gasped, quiet. He glanced at her; she ducked her head.
“Hey, Mister.” A bump on his head; Oates stood behind him in that self-important way. The kid should really learn some manners. “Are you going out with Aerith?”
With that question alone, all eyes turned toward him: the wrestling boys, the girl making flower crowns, and a couple others playing with the abandoned piano. The off-key tunes that had filled the church ground to an abrupt halt.
“It’s Zack, Oates,” Zack said into the sudden silence. “I thought we’d introduced ourselves to each other.”
Oates frowned, the way six-year-olds frowned when they were being told off, and folded his arms. “I don’t remember telling you myname,Mister.” Zack struggled to maintain his composure. “Well, are you or are you not?”
“I am.” More gasps, mostly from the girls. The boys only stared, some wide-eyed, some skeptical, including Oates.
Oates looked over his shoulder at his friends. Determined nods from all around. Zack had a bad feeling about it.
When the boy’s gaze returned to him, he pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Then we challenge you! Come on, guys! We need to see if this Mister guy is right for Aerith or not!”
The air split as cries erupted everywhere—boys and girls and even the kids at the piano. Before he could prepare himself, the little rascals had leaped from all sides, tackling him to the ground.
***
Aerith jumped when the children pushed Zack to the ground. Muffled sounds came from that squirming pile of bodies. They pinned him around his waist and straddled him on his chest. A couple climbed up and held his arms to the ground, maneuvering their way around that big sword hilt behind his back.
“Got it!” one of them yelled. A small square object held high in his grasp.
“Hey, you little, that’s my wallet!”
They squealed and shouted and laughed, jumped away when Zack tried to get up. “Spread out!” came a voice louder than the others, and they did, spreading out to the benches and the fallen beams and the room behind the altar. Zack pushed himself off his back, leaped to his feet, then put his hands on his hips. He scanned the church, a little frown playing across his lips.
“Lost something?” Aerith couldn’t help but ask. She pressed her lips together to stop herself from giggling.
“My wallet,” Zack said under his breath. “I know they’re good kids and it’s got nothing much but…” He stopped, glanced sideways at Aerith on the flowerbed. “Nothing,” he muttered.
It was unusual to see him blush, but there it was, the pink shades on his cheeks. She took a picture of it in her mind then saved it in her heart, shifting her attention back to the flowers by her knees, only to feel a stare at the side of her head. Leila, who’d been making crowns, was looking at her. Aerith arched her brows in a silent question, but before neither of them could say anything…
“Look!” Another call came. One of the older boys—Basil—waved a piece of paper in the air. “I found something!”
In the blink of an eye, Zack had disappeared from her side and crossed the church’s length. “Give that back!” she heard him say, and when Basil refused, running to the other side of the church, leaping over benches and hiding behind pillars, Zack quickened his pace. He caught the boy from behind and wrestled for his wallet. Soon, the other children had crowded around them, helping Basil keep his hold on the paper. Aerith snorted. Never had she thought she would see the day when Zack Fair wrestled with a child. That paper had to be very important.
“Are you really going out with that man, Aerith?”
The voice was soft; Leila looked at her with big, brown eyes. Curious, wary.
“I am.”
The frown deepened. The girl looked back down at the crown in her hand. Almost finished, Aerith noticed. Just a little more touch. Behind her, Zack shouted, “A-ha! Got it!” She glanced back just enough to see the fluttering paper caught between his index and middle fingers, before another boy—Finn—leaped from the nearest bench onto Zack’s back and grabbed the paper from his clutch. “Brat—!” Zack swung around trying to catch him, but Finn only clung to his back, laughing with glee.
“Isn’t he from the upper plate?” Leila asked again, pulling Aerith’s attention back to her.
“He is.”
“Aren’t they scary?”
Aerith blinked and stared, before the realization hit her. Like many people of the slums, the only things Leila knew of the upper plate were prejudice and discrepancy, hate and violence. Having to scrap for a living, only to be kicked and shoved by the so-called securities the people they called their government had stationed there; then watching the news and ads on the big monitor at Central District, only to realize how big a difference their lives were. Leila’s father was taken to the war, and when they’d refused, those securities had almost crippled her grandfather.
“Zack’s not scary, though.”
“But the sword…” The girl lifted her eyes and looked at the massive sword on Zack’s back.
“He uses that to protect people.” Aerith’s smile was warm. “He protected me before. I’m sure he’d protect you with it too.”
The nine-year-old still didn’t look convinced. Maybe there was something, anything, Aerith could use to show the girl that Zack was harmless. A thought just occurred to her mind when, suddenly, a weight pressed itself on her back.
Oof!
“Aerith, look!”
Oates had climbed onto her back, arms dangling down from around her neck. He waved a small piece of paper in front of her, where she glimpsed her face, smiling, on it.
“Got you!” The weight disappeared; Zack stood behind her, holding Oates on both arms as though the boy weighed nothing more than a sack of rice. “Stop squirming and hand over the photo.”
“Does the photo worth more than the wallet to you!?”
“Yes! Now give it—“
The photo lay on Aerith’s lap, now crooked after having so many hands wrestling for it. She picked it up and turned it around. Her own smiling face looked back at her. Hair braided back; a little smudge of dirt on her cheek; she’d crouched before her flowers as she’d tended to them, eyes crinkling at an ear-to-ear grin. When did Zack take this?
“Why would you put a picture of me there instead of your parents?” she asked the first question that popped into her mind. Zack had left home when he was thirteen without ever telling them. She’d thought they’d be foremost in his mind. But she knew the answer, even before she looked up and saw his beet-red face.
“And why are youblushing?” Oates asked.
“Oh, shut up!” He finally let Oates go. The children had gathered around them then, their expressions ranging from bemused to mischievous grins.
She believed she was. Her cheeks felt hot. She met Zack’s sky-blue eyes, and as she beamed, he started beaming too.
***
Aerith asked Zack to tell the kids about his adventures—adventures, because the kids shouldn’t hear about missions or wars; adventures where he went to all corners of the world to protect people and their homes.
“Who wants to hear about my adventures?” Zack asked then. Silence…
“I wanna know more about your sword,” Oates said. “Why is it so big?“
Another voice asked, "Is it real?”
“Of course it’s real!”
“Can I touch it?” Zack didn’t realize a kid was standing behind him, and when he reached out to touch the steel blade, Aerith and Zack shouted at him to stop. The kid jumped, retracting his hand as quickly as it’d come.
“That’s dangerous, Finn!” Aerith said from her seat.
“But it looks so cool!”
“And also very heavy and sharp,” Zack said. “It could easily cut your arm off if you so much as touch it wrong.” Gasps and grunts and nervous gulps. Despite the glare Aerith was shooting him—maybe he should have toned down the gore, though he’d only spoken truth with it—he thought that was enough to scare them away. But then a voice spoke up:
“Butyou can use it.” It was the girl who’d played the piano before. Jet-black hair tied in twin tails.
“That’s because I’m trained in combat.”
“Show us!” she said, prompting the others to chant yeah, show us, show us.
At the urging, Zack broke into a grin, wide and proud. He told them to give him a bit of space, and they stepped back. Then he reached over and behind his back and curled his fingers around the hilt. He’d show them. Yes, they would see that he was the coolest guy they ever saw.
Pulling the Buster Sword from his back one-handed was an easy feat. He gave it a wide swing in the air before landing it, tip-down, on the church’s wooden floor. Oohs and ahhs greeted his ears. Even Aerith’s emerald-green eyes were wide, joining the children’s cheer. Then he lifted the sword with both hands and bent his knees in his battle stance.
“Want me to show you some battle moves?” he asked them, and they did, so he obliged.
The “show” ended with a series of claps, thrilled cries, and jumps. What skepticism and mischief he’d seen in their eyes were now gone, replaced by nothing short of awe. Zack couldn’t help the smirk that he’d somehow won their hearts.
“What do you do, Zack?” the oldest of the boys, he’d heard Aerith called him Basil before, asked.
“I’m—“ Then he stopped, and he remembered how Aerith had talked about SOLDIER and Turks and Shinra when they first met, and figured he should omit that part. “I’m a mercenary,” he said instead. “I help people whenever they need me.”
“Like how?”
“Finding lost items?”
“Rescuing a cat?”
“Yeah… And, like, bigger schemes.” The kids looked at one another. “Like protecting people from monsters.” More oohs and ahhs. Zack felt proud of himself.
But then, someone said, “I wanna have something like it.” It was Oates. He turned to his friends. “Just imagine: we can be our own Protection Squad! Defeating evil and helping people around the slums.” The idea immediately appealed to everyone’s minds. Before Zack could do anything about it, they’d already crowded around him and begged him for a sword of their own.
Zack broke into a small, weak smile as he tried to figure how to handle this new onslaught. He looked at Aerith for help, but her features reflected the resignation he felt. She offered a shrug, a silent permission to do what he thought best. In that case…
“Want me to make you wooden swords then?” The children’s eyes sparkled at that. They nodded, crowding closer that Zack had to step back and raise his hands, shoulders shaking in a chuckle. “Well, if you can find a good chunk of wood and some sawing equipment, I think I can make some.”
They’d bolted out the church’s double doors before he realized maybe he shouldn’t have told them to grab a saw. But Aerith was laughing, and she patted the spot next to her. Zack sat down with a loud sigh.
“You think they’re okay handling a saw?” he asked.
“Don’t worry, the carpenters won’t let them hold it that easily,” Aerith said.
Zack wondered about that. Seeing how the kids had been, it wouldn’t be a stretch to think they’d find some way to bring a saw there. But he was too tired to go look for them, so he hoped the carpenter would be so kind as to bring it himself. He sighed again, feeling the tension rolling off his shoulders. Who would’ve thought babysitting was even more exhausting than going on a mission?
Warmth enveloped his head. When he looked, Aerith was patting him, a bright smile on her face. “Great job today.”
And Zack would have broken into a grin, would have leaned in and rested his head on her shoulder and claimed it as energy recovering, if he had not noticed the girl on the flowerbed still weaving flowers into a crown. Aerith seemed to notice his line of sight too, because then she introduced the girl as Leila. In a whisper, she added that the girl had lost her family in the war, so she was a little taciturn around armed strangers.
The reason Aerith had suggested for him to talk about his adventures finally dawned on him. Zack scooted to the girl and peeked beneath the brown bangs. Big, brown eyes were focused on the flower crown in her hands. He noticed she’d braided her hair to match Aerith’s.
“You’re not going with the others?” he asked.
Leila shook her head. When she spoke, her voice was small. “I’m not really into those sword stuffs.”
“What are you into then?”
She lifted her flower crown, then continued weaving in more flowers. Zack fumbled for more topics, but before he could, Leila had risen from her seat. She walked over to him, then plopped the flower crown over his head. Zack blinked.
“That glow in your eyes—I’ve seen it. They took my dad away to the war, and he never came back.” Leila pursed her lips. “But you’re a good guy, Zack. At least, I think so. Everyone likes you. Aerith, too. And, you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh so hard like that before.” Zack blinked again, and this time, the girl softened her features. “She really likes you.”
With that, she turned toward Aerith and plopped another flower crown on top of her head.
“Well, I’m off. Think I’m going to catch up with the others and make sure they don’t hurt themselves.”
Her footsteps disappeared behind the double doors. The silence that followed stretched awkwardly. When Zack turned his head, Aerith was still staring at the church’s entrance, half in daze.
“Youreally like me, she said.”
She jerked, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. A frown formed across her lips, even as a deep shade of red tinged her cheeks. “She didn’t emphasize it, you know.”
Even so, that was not a denial. A slow grin split his features. Zack crawled to her side, then gazed at her scarlet face.
“What?” she asked.
His reply was a soft kiss to her cheeks that rendered her speechless. “I really like you to.” He beamed at her stunned face. It wasn’t much of a date, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
