#fnaf texts
Hello. I’m Freddy Fazbear, but you know me for my star role in this blog, Freddy Fazbear. We hope you enjoyed this film, and I am here to assure you that none of the actors were harmed in the making.
Right now I’m on the set of my next role in the attraction “Fazbear’s Fright”, and thing’s are going swimmingly! I really like working with Frankie–er, “SpringTrap”.
Oh! I’m being called, we hope you enjoyed the series! Best wishes!
The Fazbear four were for the first time nominated–and WON–an Oscar as a group performance. Their careers then spiraled out of control and their final performance was being used as props in the short-lived Fazbear’s Fright attraction.
Please listen to this as you read.
Freddy continued to take joy in watching the security guard be spooked.
Bonnie and Clyde continued bickering, with Clyde claiming that because they had a “Fine, dangling rod” that they were clearly meant to be male.
Foxy took well to being a head on a wall, and believed himself to be “Tha next best thing, right up thar with tha wall-mounted singing fish”
Chica was sad that she couldn’t cook pizza.
Jack Strings went on to be the bass player in a romance-themed death metal hair band named “No Strings Attached (Except One)”. There next album “I’m Burning With Passion For You”, is expected to release sometime soon.
Boston Market and Balloon Boy retired to a small island, leading a shitty life with a shitty family. They’re very happy.
Mangle wished upon a star and became a real dog, and became the next Air-Bud of movies.
Bonnabelle went on to sing in opera. Poorly.
Freddu became the unofficial king of liquefied garbage. This title was soon after taken by a sentient burlap sack full of bugs. Freddu cried. Forever.
Mike Schmidt and Phone Guy went on to become heterosexual life partners, living in a nice penthouse out in California, where Mike slowly grew old and curmudgeonly and Phone Guy never aged because he’s some kind of weird immortal wizard guy who sold his soul to Fazbear Company for immortality.
Due to scheduling differences, Maddie’s agent ended up cancelling her part in the series early. She had a moderately successful part in the niche career of being a wheelchair model.
Fazbear Frights eventually burned down when the security guard actor guy there realized that a zombie rabbit was trying to eat him and set the whole thing on fire. Seriously, it took him five days to notice?
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And so, our story comes to a close. We’d like to thank all you lovely people out there who decided to follow this dumb little comedy blog, and extend a round of applause to those who have been around since the beginning. We had some rocky starts and stops along the way, but it’s been a grand ride all the same. Thank you to everyone who contributed, whether by drawing art, or participating in streams, for making our jobs all the more worthwhile.
Thank you for the love and support, it’s been fun but unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Let’s all just be happy we could go on this ride together!
The End
The two humans watched the pizzeria crumble, and then watched the firefighters who had just arrived put out what remained of the fire. Turning from the scene, they walked into the sunset, putting the past behind them, and keeping the memories, good and bad, they made at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.
And then ordered two big macs and two diet cokes.
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Golden took only a brief moment to teleport in front of Freddy, laugh at his burning foe, kick Foxy’s flaming head, and then fade from the physical world.
What a dick.
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The manager had been approaching the door, when inky black wires had descended, wrapping around his legs and yanking him to the floor. Out of the flames leapt Strings, his fabrics already starting to peel away, as shadowy smoke wafted from underneath his burning mask. Landing upon the manager, he let loose a flurry of slashes and slams, eviscerating the owner, leaving behind only a bloody mess where a man once was. Soon after, his physical form burned away, leaving only the scorched mask behind.
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Walking over to their mangled friend, they braced themselves for the blaze, holding onto each other until the end. The fire fused their shells, and in their final moments they were closer than they ever had been before.
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backed into a corner by the inferno, the animatronic with two minds slowly slip down, sitting with their back to the wall. Leaning their head back against the cold surface, they watched the fire slowly scorch the room, and consume them.
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The maintenance door was holding against the rabbit’s assault, as well as the blows of Chica from the other side. Quickly, the fires crept up around them, and the chicken’s suit began to smolder.
Soon, it was creeping under the door, where an angry purple bunny was slamming against the solid gateway.
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As a flaming support beam in the roof fell, Foxy lunged into Freddy, knocking him aside. Instead of falling upon the bear, it slammed down on the Captain’s back, breaking his spine in two, and smashing apart his torso. Weakly, he looked up at Freddy, before his head fell to the floor, unmoving as the fire engulfed his body.
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Slowly, the manager doused the floor and walls with gasoline, before striking a match and setting the building aflame. The bots had been distracted by their fallen friend (and ignoring Freddu), and failed to notice this handiwork before the fire itself spread.
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The pizzeria was cleared out, the customers having fled the violence. Strings cradled the body of his daughter, as the last sparks of mechanical life left her broken body.
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Phone Guy approached the stage, stepping through the fleeing crowd of parents and children as they made a bee-line for the doors. Freddu was standing on the stage, hands out, babbling about how this was all wrong, and that nothing was his fault. Drawing his beretta from the inside of his jumpsuit, PG levelled it with the head of the bear, before pulling the trigger twice. Two perfect circles blasted through Freddu’s plastic skull, as his body fell to the ground beside Bonnabelle.
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Bonnabelle had only a brief second to look fearfully to her friend, before his fist collided with her fragile plastic face. Falling to the ground from the attack, her guitar fell off of the stage, where children had previously been sitting. Instead, they ran screaming from the stage, where Freddu was smashing in the face of the blue bunny. Wires sparked, and metal cracked under his blows, and slowly, Bonnabelle stopped moving. Boston Market ran from the stage, running to the prize room.
In his hand, Freddu clutched a handful of wires, ripped out of his ‘dearest friend’s’ head. He threw them aside almost casually, before stomping on her torso.
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