#food for ts
Half a century later,
I am checking and rechecking
an egg to make sure
it’s still good. I press
my nose against the rotten
planet, cold as a half-sung
song. Halved, I am
more than your weight,
still. When you died,
where were your teeth?
Where was your breath?
Breathe on this window for me.
Let me draw flowers on it.
Half a century later, geese tap
at my yard as if checking
for solid ground. Do you
think about twisting its fat
neck? Why do I think about
twisting its fat neck, about
that lovely puncture?
When you died, the guards
shouted industry and agriculture
into the air, their breath humid
enough to grow a mole.
I buy lettuce from the grocery
store and wash nothing.
When you died, you gulped
at the air, you slept with both
eyes open. You dreamt of
the fattening dough of the sky,
of geese singing in the future.
Loss sat in a living room
you didn’t have. Loss settled in
like heavy whipping cream,
like a new kind of mud.
Over a century later,
my teeth sharpening
for something to come.
I eat and eat and eat again.
Year after year, I leave eggs
by your grave, by ground
I can’t seem to find.
Jane Wong, from “When You Died,” How to Not Be Afraid of Everything (Alice James Books, 2021)