#forced dreams
Life without A Script
Summary: After filming for Spn wrapped up Rob was looking for new roles instead of paying attention to his daughter who seems always his last thought.
Paring: None. Platonic Rob Benedict x Daughter!Reader
Other Characters: Jensen Ackles,Jarded Padalecki,Genevieve Padalecki, AgedUp!Audrey & Calvin Benedict, Mark Sheppard
Warning!!!: tw Heavy theme of su¡c¡de, running away,argument between parent and child
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Pacing…Dad was pacing the floor long enough I thought I saw a glimpse of burnt rug. The chatter from the other line was muffled,but I knew who it was. Tommy my dad’s agent about a new role. Oh God a new role dad wouldn’t shut up about it since he got home from the anniversary party for Supernatural. He would often glace over at me and gives a thumbs up…sad to think that’s the most attention I’ve received in almost fourteen years. Season four dad was introduced as God or Chuck and suddenly his time was to precise to be wasted on the likes of me.
I gave him a false smile everytime he looked over. Years back to back roles in unknown tv-shows to small films that never seen a silver screen,but no they all meant the world to him so much so once getting the role as Chuck we moved to a small house abandoning Missouri to the border of Canada to be closer to set so we’re not too far apart. Seemed the distance only grew emotionally. Acting major is great in University of Montana it really is,but now looking at it I’m glad I studied filming online courses, my dad wanted me to carry on the acting legacy even though my siblings already had a path in mind. I don’t blame them they’re great at what they do and all I just hate I’m the one with a dream forced upon me. I could act decently,but my heart belonged to what happened behind the camera and the work put into that. He’d never understand and I won’t make him. Or so I thought.
Dad ended the call and and was basically jumping up and down like a girl asked out to prom. “I got the part.” That was vague he’s done more auditions than I could count on my fingers. I wanted to keep my teeth sunk into my tongue like I’ve done for years,but If I bit it any harder I’d take a piece. “What was the name of the movie? Do you even know or where you that desprit to leave me again?” That might have been to harsh,but that’s how I feel. “It’s called Violet. Why are you being so pissy about it? If you haven’t realized,this is our only source of income right now.” He said as he slides the phone into his pocket with a huff. This made my eye twitch in anger pissy? Ill show him fucking pissy. “That’s just a whole fucking lie,but you wouldn’t know since you’re never here. I work to I don’t know live! Seems like a damn waste though.” I snapped as I stood up from my seated position my words made him stop and look in confusion. “What you work some little shitty job at a five and dime for pocket change for some girly crap whenever you’re pms-ing!? My paycheck pays for your dream college and this house!” He shouted. Now we were both in eachothers faces his reddening with anger whilst mine was so tense it could form diamonds
“You’re so fucking dense father! I don’t want to study acting it’s your dream not mine so since you brought it up I would like to drop out please and thank you.” This sure as hell wasn’t the way I wanted to break this to him,but dad was pushing me too close to the edge. “I don’t want to be an actress struggling at every corner just to get a callback saying that I didn’t get the part! I don’t want to be in the limelight reading any bullshit lines! I don’t want this at all!! So please give me a break you let Calvin and Audrey do what they want. Why can’t I?” I was losing the heat in my voice at every word I was closer to tears then throwing a punch,but I guess dad had different plans. “How could I raise such an ungrateful girl? Oh I’m sorry that I couldn’t see you being anything else,but an actress because you just aren’t good at anything else. I wanted to give the talentless a chance,but serving it on a silver platter isn’t good enough.” He shouted his voice seeming to shake the walls till the trubble in submission,but I couldn’t let his words hurt me evern though they cut like a hot knife. He won’t see that though. “I’m such a failure. Boo hoo why am I still even here then hmm. I’ll just leave you for good no more mouth to feed and bullshit to pay for right?!” My voice cracked slightly. I didn’t want to leave not like this would he even carethough Dad hasn’t cared in the past. “Then leave,you ungrateful brat!” His words held they same anger not even a look of regret flashed in his eyes. He was serious and I was to.
Rushing out today the living room I’m got into my bedroom and packed a small back I wouldn’t need much where I’m going. Just a few shirts and pants and my best outfit because gotta look your best when you met your maker. Pulling the bag over my shoulder I stormed out of my room Dad wasn’t in the living room anymore probably went to his own room to pack to go to film soon. Walking out the front door I didn’t look back after all nothing worth waiting for.
~~~~Time skip~~~~
The bus rides were difficult switching from one to another,but if it meant I’m closer to happiness so be it. This was the last one and I’ll be in Missouri a full 21 hours to get there from the Montana bus stop my phone unordered by calls or text from anyone that cared. Dad didn’t try,Mom didn’t want to bother my studies,my siblings are busy living life,and my or my dad’s supernatural family have their own kids to worry about. This only made me smile my mind is content no one cared and this was proof making it so much easier.
Stepping out of the bus station walking down the road to my spot. Me and Dad use to share it to talk to eachothers. That was back when I was happy and our family was whole,but now even though it was only fourteen years ago before Supernatural when everything went sideways. I don’t hate my dad I can’t not for taking the job I met so many lovely people. That wasn’t enough though ha maybe I was ungrateful. Even with two parents, though separated, loved me,older siblings that are my everything and friends that’s made these fourteen years worth something it wasn’t enough.
Sitting down in the silky grass of the hidden spot that has been untouched since the dY they moved. She took the privacy of the spot in her stride and stripped of her clothing and went to to the river washing away the musk of public transport and the walk. The water was freezing,but I couldn’t feel it as I ducked my head underneath the surface I’ve thought about drowning it isn’t pleasant so waiting until my lungs burned slightly in desperate need for air I came up. The sun was at its peak so getting out of the water I grab a old shirt from my bag that was large and used it like a towel drying off.
==Outfit dress or pants and button up==
==Any color==
After deeming myself dry enough I get in my best outfit or should I say my favorite formal outfit. It was not fitting for where I found myself,but I didn’t care I sat myself down on the ground and opened my favorite book to re-read for the last time. So deep into the worn pages the sound of my phone going off genuinely scared me. Dog earring the page I pick up my phone answering it. “Rob just called me. What is this I hear about you running away?” It was Jared I softly smiled at hearing his voice. “It wasn’t running away. He said I should leave. So I left I wasn’t gonna stay there any longer.” I sighed I didn’t want to talk about in while here this was my happy place. “Come on,n/n. I’ll get you a plan ticket and you can come stay at me and Gene’s place till you both cool off.” It was a nice suggestion I could seem the little rascals again and my second favorite couple. “Tempting,but pass.” I hung up and kept declining his calls till they stopped. My phone vibrated with a text from Mark. I didn’t respond,but they came in rapide secession.
All I did was stare another hand out to stay with someone. Is that all that I am just a needy mouth to feed thats desperate for a roof and a warm bed. My mood was souring by each message and every ring of the phone. My temper hit its boiling point and my hand squeezed tightly on my phone as I answered a call blindly. “WHAT!?!” I yelled as if the person on the other line was my enemy. “Pump the hate breaks sweetheart.” The voice of Jensen said on the other side. I breathed out. “Kid please answer someone anyone. We know you kid and you would take his words to heart. I don’t know what your argument was about,but ignore him okay? How about this I fly you down to Texas and—” another hand out I thought and I cut him off before he could finish. “Jensen I swear to God if you finish that sentence! The next person that offers me charity or pity will be mentioned, by name, in my suicide note.” I threatened,yes I’m tonthat fucking point. “Hey! Don’t joke about that shit!” He said after recovering from shock of my outburst. “Who said I was joking? I’m at peace where I am and I wanted it to stay that way,but people keep calling and texting about having open arms and I’m sick of it. I don’t need anyone’s pity.” I said as I leaned my head against the tree trunk. “Where the hell are you?! Are you planning to— I thought you were feeling better after everything! What the hell did he do to bring you back to square one?”
Tears gathered in my eyes I was such a fucking disappointment. I’m failing Jensen by doing this I promised him I’d try after he saw my scars and I did I got better,but it all went down the drain when dad proved that every ill thought was a reality. “I’m sorry Jenny. I’m just not worth the effort anymore…and I’m okay with that.” The sadness was present in my voice,but it sounded strained when I smiled at the words. “I can’t take it anymore I’ve been strong for so long for once I want to be weak and let my conscious do the work.” His words sounded like static as he spoke it flowed into my ear just to pour our the other. “Love ya J,goodbye.” I hung up the phone cutting of a booming yell that would have busted the speakers for sure.
Picking my book back up I look at the first empty pages and took out a pen and began to write. I poured my everything into those few pages before closing it holding it to my lips kissing the worn out hard cover. I know that the find my phone feature was turned on now so I sat it down on top of the book and stood up leaving both behind as I walked away from them. Leaving everything behind for so peace.
This wasn’t a drama this was real life it was raw and real. No emotions could be faked and not a single word is scripted. It was reality and the happy ending isn’t always the light and the end of the tunnel. “Chief We’ve got her! Get the ambulance and EMT out here!” Voices yelled in the distance. This wasn’t to her plan,but that’s life without a script. Nothing is set in stone.
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A/n: Word Count: 2,400+
The ending was left with a bit of hope because who likes expectations to be met. Anyways…
Quote:“The next person that offers me charity or pity will be mentioned, by name, in my suicide note.”–Community
This was very angst like and I don’t see any fluff in the future!!! Um anyways Alot more to come Imma try and clear these quotes.
I’ll look at this later to edit any mistakes along with all the other fixes in the masterlist when im behind a computer. Bye for now!!!
